sadness sets in and will not leave...time to charge rent
I don't want to be sad anymore...I just want to be happy with everything, but the thing with Crystal just will not go away. I do not by anymeans want her memory to go away, but I want the sadness to. My heart breaks a little everytime I think about what happens or say her name or see something that reminds me of her. She always knew what to do with everything. She was always there even if just in the background and she always cared. People like her are not supposed to die. The sadness sets in deeper every second, but i am sure this comes with most people that knew her. I wasn't even family. Carly was right...5 months was not nearly enough time.
People leaving all at once is a feeling I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy...yes there are people still here and that's great! I love them for that! But I fear losing them too...once the school year is over, I lose people for summer and when I get here, some will still be gone or I won't talk to anymore because our schedules conflict. Life hits harder than planned.
I also remember when his answer was 'to be with you', yet things there have changed also. I cannot shake myself from him and it scares me. I am independent and can survive on my own I would just like him in my life, but he was always busy. Sometimes too busy. I long to feel what I felt before and I know it will take time.
All these empty holes in my heart will not fill themselves up fast enough. I do not know how much I can take. Pieces are gone forever because no one will ever fill the void that I have for Crystal and for the other people because there is always a certain spot for people in my heart and once they are gone, that spot is empty. I will admit I hate change, but doesnt everyone?
People leaving all at once is a feeling I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy...yes there are people still here and that's great! I love them for that! But I fear losing them too...once the school year is over, I lose people for summer and when I get here, some will still be gone or I won't talk to anymore because our schedules conflict. Life hits harder than planned.
I also remember when his answer was 'to be with you', yet things there have changed also. I cannot shake myself from him and it scares me. I am independent and can survive on my own I would just like him in my life, but he was always busy. Sometimes too busy. I long to feel what I felt before and I know it will take time.
All these empty holes in my heart will not fill themselves up fast enough. I do not know how much I can take. Pieces are gone forever because no one will ever fill the void that I have for Crystal and for the other people because there is always a certain spot for people in my heart and once they are gone, that spot is empty. I will admit I hate change, but doesnt everyone?