Hear ye fuckin' hear ye!

[halfredgamgee]

Today is not my fuckin' birthday, so that means any fuckin' well wishes are GODDAMN LATE!!!!! I hate late motherfuckers who don't wish me Happy Birthday when it's the day of. It's a fuckin' event that happens once a fuckin' year and all you had to fuckin' say was "Happy fuckin' Birthday Halfred' and taken your damn generously given present and

Comments

[faramir]

Um, if you take me off your list, I'll bring you a present from Far Harad.

I don't know.

I could get you a nicely shaped rock.

You could hit people with it.

..?

Why do I attract so many fuckin' pansies?

[halfredgamgee]

Did I fuckin' ask for presents?! NO!

Fucker. Who the fuck are you anyway? What the fuck would I want a rock to beat someone up with when I have fists and concrete slabs that are perfectly good for the same thing?!

Tryin' t'saver yer lousy ass!!!! Y'disgusting wormriddled flamerepellant turdbmonger!

Fuck off!

Maybe it's some chemical thing?

[faramir]

You're angry and you're violent and you're a hobbit and that's terrifying.

I'll be going now.

Bye bye!

But I don't do drugs. Much.

[halfredgamgee]

Right. Well at least y'have some fuckin' sense.

Have fun fuckin' off in Bum Fuck Egypt or wherever the fuckin' fuck y' are.

[manwe_sulimo]

*turns the clock back to yesterday*

Happy fuckin' Birthday, Halfred.

*turns it back to today*

Whoa.

[halfredgamgee]

...

.... *crosses your name off the shitlist*

Re: Whoa.

[manwe_sulimo]

:)

you are too kind, but not too kind in the way that makes you kind

[ex_frodooft]

Thank fucking Eru I'm not on that list I will never do anything homosexual in your presence. Ever.

Don't talk in fuckin' riddle around me.

[halfredgamgee]

Good. I hate homo's. Would have t' have my only friend. Or some shit.

So. Um...

Enjoyin' yer dolls?

Sorry, I'll draw pictures next time.

[ex_frodooft]

I know.

Yeah, they're great, I put them in the boat and set them up in- I mean. I. Never mind.

... :) :) :)

Can you draw? I didn't know that!

[halfredgamgee]

... right. Ixnay on the homosexnay.

Not that I ever fuckin' learned th'language of th' bloatedass Latin pigs or any shit.

[jadegemini]

At the moment, I'm dead. So, time has very little meaning to me.

Happy Birthday and all that.

Yes, well...

[halfredgamgee]

Fuck you too.

Re: Yes, well...

[jadegemini]

Exactly. I'd've sent you a card, but we really don't know each other.

[ringwraith_ii]

I don't have a fucking birthday. You know what??? I think today should be my birthday.

Good t' know I'm not on your shitlist. If I was, I'd have to come over to whereverthefuck you are and make you into Hobbit Pie. But I won't. Never fear.

[bilbogamgee]

Do you want the porno mag he gave me as my present? It scares me.

Re:

[ringwraith_ii]

Porno is for the pussy's that can't get anything so of course I want it.

Well!

[halfredgamgee]

Happy fuckin' birthday to you then!