They say love can be like a ship sailing for shore, beset on all sides by the jagged rocks of failure and misery, called off the path by sirens. But if you can just keep sailing, keep on tugging along, you find that beam of light from the lighthouse up ahead, calling you home. Unless that beam of light is obscured by clouds, and you're dashed to ( Read more... )

Good news, everyone! Fantastically fresh hot-off-the press news! Firstly, I'm back from that painful business vac-- business trip to the Virgin Islands! Secondly, I'm getting married ( Read more... )

I've been so busy lately, you wouldn't believe. Papers, trials, clipboards, meetings, whiteboards, talks, lunches, sleep, cases, clients, skirts, and law suits! It never ends ( Read more... )

So I go out with the girls to the sneak Forced at gun point preview of Sex and The City and I wake up with a penis...AGAIN! You know it's just incredible how this has happened to me TWICE! You would think even for a hero or villain lifestyle this would happen once, but no here I am pissing standing up in god knows where yet again! Here I am waking ( Read more... )

Great news, everyone! Somehow the DVD just appeared on my desk! As luck would have it I've already rented out the company movie theatre for just such a contingency! So if anyone out there wants to suck up their fears, kick aside their trepidation, worry, and senseless prudishness then you can all feel free to join me for a night of quality ( Read more... )

It's been a hectic couple of busy bee days at the office. Case after case just flying through like bats. Or sparrows. More like vultures, really, huge and gangly and wanting to see dead things. Hardly had a break of it all since I got to tour Ofdensen's torture chamber! Nice place, by the way. Great acoustics ( Read more... )

Mr. Crews, you can consider your ass out of the fire and back on a comfy chair! The whole lead-paint issue is as of three hours ago both nulled and voided by the hand of high-priced justice. I have documents to prove it. Another win for Sebben & Sebben law! And my bank accounts.

Zoocreeper fried! Forgot to mention that. Even if he dies he'll still be in debt. That's what you get for messing with a Sebben ( Read more... )

I've been hit by the ravages of war! They came all day, unrelenting, a sea of tiny legs and metal-munching mouths to lay siege against my empire! We were able to drive them back but casualties were high-- I don't know if Stan Freezoid will ever be the same again. Plus the bastards got bronze statue of myself! Not to mention all of the repairs to ( Read more... )

Great party everyone, glad you all could make it! By the end of the night even the Chinese acrobats were drunk and the Trans-Siberian Orchestra was half out of their clothing, food was everywhere, drinks were guzzled, hot tub water was spilled on the carpet and I woke up to find naked people on my furniture! Plus I got to meet that Tom fellow! ( Read more... )