Today I pretty much told the story of my life (the 30 minute version) at group. School, high school, uni, the grim years where I was pretty much keeping the world at bay, waiting for a good time to kill myself. I'm getting pretty good at telling it, but I can't tell if it helps any. Talk is after all cheap ( Read more... )

A little bit of everything...

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Today I'll be attending the first part of a 'course in anxiety' down at the psych ward. They'll be teaching us about what anxiety means in a psychological and psychiatric sense. There will also be some practical stuff, like how to use some cognitive-behavioral therapy methods in daily life.

Today I walked past a little convenience store, a place where people buy beer, ice cream, scratch tickets and cigarettes. As it happens it was the place where I bought what I thought would be my final pack of smokes, before stepping out onto the bridge where I'd kill myself. That's exactly three months ago today ( Read more... )

The network meeting was yesterday. I'm happy to say that it went very well. Of course it was an emotional affair, but my family was wonderful. So was the staff, but they're pros, of course ( Read more... )

Friday I was over at the outpatient offices, talking to the nurse who will be my contact. She was a good, no-nonsense sort, one I think that I can work with. I've got our next meeting scheduled for Tuesday next week. That's when we will start in earnest, talking about what I want to change in my life, and how to go about it. It'll be all about ( Read more... )

Today I have a meeting with the people who do outpatient support. That's pretty much across the parking lot from where I am now. They'll get to know me, and we'll set up a meeting for after I'm discharged. I'm nervous, but very grateful that this has been set into motion. It's also nice that this initial meeting happens before I'm discharged ( Read more... )

Yesterday I attended the psych ward service with Awkward Lad. He's a Christian, and it seems to bring him lots of joy. I'm an atheist, but I can't shake the effects that going to a Lutheran school for ten years had on me. The hymns are just darned nice to sing. The minister was really nice and well-spoken, and she brought a pianist. That makes ( Read more... )

MDL got out the other day. “I'm getting out today” she told me, “and it's my birthday”. I congratulated her and she beamed and patted my arm. Sitting down I'm as tall as she is standing up.

Some words about some of the people on my ward:

Awkward Lad is an absolute sweetie. He is tall and gawky, and pretty shy. AL studied to be a chef, but couldn't ( Read more... )

Out on the terrace where we smoke there is a sewer grate. Even though there is an ashtray, a big ceramic thing, cigarette butts are often dumped into the oily water down there.

A spider has spun several webs down there, ragged intricate patterns. When butts are thrown down there, they sometimes get stuck in these webs, and hang, still smoking above ( Read more... )