Writer's Block: Wardrobe Malfunction

[gwen_e_cooper]

There isn't a day when I don't experience some permanent and disgusting damage to my jeans, top or boots - or end up bathed in a coat of ichor.

Some days are worse than others.

Comments

[ask_aboutcoffee]

It was to cover the smell of the beer that he never quite fully got out of his digestive tract. Poor man could have brewed beer himself, what with the gas and yeast and everything. It's not easy being dead, apparently.

Besides, at least the ichor only got on the replacement dress, and it was off-the-rack.

In London, you know, we studied a pair of trousers that had a forcefield built in. If you walked around in them nothing could get closer than .21245" to the fabric or it'd get gently bounced off. It made sitting down extremely perilous, I'm here to say.

[ask_captainjack]

WOW! Sad memory. Owen.

Hey, I know we have copper tanks lying around on one of the lower levels. We should make beer, what do you say? We could call it JACK'S ALE. No JACK'S LAGER. Shit you can name it, you're good at branding.

I think my name and face should be on the bottle.

[pure_morning_8]

OMG. I'd buy it.

Make it REEAL strong though cause that's how beer should be.

[gwen_e_cooper]

THE STRONGER THE BETTER.

Something with even more OOMPH than Stella. (5.5% by vol!)

I fell up the stairs once after having some of those.

[ask_captainjack]

It's true, ichor is stinky. You had green globs in the back of your hairdo too. Not sure if Ianto was able to get them all out with that blotted tea towel?

I danced with you later that night even though you still smelled like dead Nostrovite.

That's the kind of awesome BFF I am!

[gwen_e_cooper]

I still smelled after that? :o(

Good thing nobody (but you) really remembers that.

[ask_captainjack]

OH YEAH you could smell it. All the blotting in the world doesn't cover up Nostrovite.

It's okay though because you guys can't be expected to have the same super-senses that I have. That's how I was able to tell that Tosh's lesbian blonde was actually a lesbian alien!

[gwen_e_cooper]

That whole incident was weird, really. Tosh mentioned later she'd tried to read your mind and it was shut down tight.

You can't hear our thoughts, can you, Jack?

What am I thinking at you? *thinks*

[gwen_e_cooper]

*grips*

Awww, thank you, sweetheart!

So did you! (And you didn't smell like ichor!

[ask_captainjack]

But aren't your nostrils clogged with trucker fat? I think it's amazing how you continue smelling things with your disability.

[askmydad]

I didn't know! I'm so very sorry. I had no idea she was your girlfriend!

But can't she and I have some girly time together? I don't get girly time too often and it would be so much fun to fly all over the city with her.

Oh, I'm not a clone. But I can understand why you might think that. I'm sorry to have confused you.

Where did you get that jacket? Are you sure you don't remember me? I'm sure it was you I was drinking with. Ah, well, you were pretty much unconscious by the time we were done so perhaps you can't remember it.

[oh_doask]

You don't touch her, love, it's that simple. She's monogamous. You can't just fucking waltz in an mess up her prehistoric 21st century mind!

You are

a) a clone
b) born out of Jack's arti-womb with my DNA

Pick and choose.

Darling, I remember you. We fucked long and hard on a bed, and then you passed out and I got the jewels. It was like in the books on the screen.

You. Got. Conned! *cue punk music*

No, it won't be on the teevee.

[askmydad]

Myfanwy isn't from your 21st century. But perhaps she's lived here so long she's forgotten any other life. Poor dear!

I think you must have me confused with someone else. I'm not a clone nor to I possess any of your DNA. I certainly wasn't born from the womb of anyone here! And the only person I've ever been on a bed with is someone from my home planet, and we were both wide awake all the time.

But if concocting a story such as you have is recreational for you, then feel free to do so. I don't mind.

[ask_captainjack]

I have been VERY pleased with the amount of frosting in the Hub lately.

[gwen_e_cooper]

You've got a bit... there.

Corner of your mouth, Jack.

[ask_captainjack]

I can't quite reach with my tongue...Little help?

[gwen_e_cooper]

Uhhh. Ianto?

I'd help you with that, Boo, but I think you really want the spag bol tomorrow and not the irrationally angry ranting. Though the ranting is cute.