Comments | gsa_lj: My child is trans, help!

jacksmom53 in gsa_lj

My child is trans, help!

Apr 21, 2009 15:31

I apologize for this post if any find it offensive or ignorant. I was referred here by my sister, who told me that livejournal had many good communities for this kinds of issues ( Read more... )

trans, parents, youth, support, love, advice, teenage sexuality, transition, family

Comments 71

indifferenthues April 22 2009, 00:02:34 UTC

Hi there, I'm the Mom of a transgender daughter (who since she is now 30-something I NEVER remember that little truly insignificant fact, LOL!).

I will admit that way back in the day we were clueless that it just "wasn't done" at her age and simply thought "Oh she has a medical condition, let's go to proper doctors and get this fixed". But thank goodness we did, I have since met people who for whatever reason were forced to live as an incorrect gender until they were late teens or even adults and to me that seems as cruel as the people who refuse appropriate medical services and just pray over the sick children or leave them with a hunchback or a clubfoot and sell them to the circus or something.

But this way your child gets to transition seamlessly from childhood to his teens to adulthood without an extra helping of tears and trauma.

We also probably has an easier time of it because our family lives "inside" and has the protection of the larger LGBT Community (oops LGBT = Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender), so to speak ( ... )

tko_ak April 22 2009, 04:55:00 UTC

If someone has come out as FtM, especially at such a young age, why would anyone think they're genderqueer?

indifferenthues April 22 2009, 05:20:29 UTC

I'm not sure you'd have to ask them. I've just seem FtM people on there and they seem to be a nice warm friendly nurturing bunch.

wolfishinsanity April 22 2009, 00:17:01 UTC

This post just made me incredibly happy. The fact that you and your husband both love and support Jack is just amazing in so many ways. I really wish I could climb through the computer and give you both a hug ( ... )

indifferenthues April 22 2009, 05:24:57 UTC

find a group for Jack and maybe even his friends to go to, so that he and they will all know how to deal with this. It is so important that he has friends who know and love him, and that will stay by his side through high school. Children are cruel and ignorant, but if Jack has friends who care for him, he should be fine. They will protect him,

Yes, this is another thing we had. She had/still has as a matter of fact, a great group of friend, of the raised on "Free To Be You And Me" kind . . . is that still popular?

wolfishinsanity April 22 2009, 20:15:56 UTC

I've never actually heard of that. ^^;
I live in a town very close to a military base, so we are nearly overpopulated with people of all different natures, and yet we have virtually no support groups, except for military families, and that's just on post. Our school has nothing even CLOSE to a GSA or anything, so for our gay/trans kids, it's up to their friends to help them through things. We're in the thick area of the Bible-belt, so nearly every adult in town is homophobic and close minded, but all the kids are surprisingly open. Children are cruel, but much nicer than you would think. We're more open to new things, I suppose.

indifferenthues April 22 2009, 22:47:25 UTC

I've never actually heard of that. ^^;

This is "Free To Be You and Me".

I live in a town very close to a military base, so we are nearly overpopulated with people of all different natures, and yet we have virtually no support groups, except for military families, and that's just on post.

Ah, part of your good fortune may be precisely because you were "very close to a military base". There have been a lot of studies that point out that "Army Brats" as well as kids from all sorts of families that traveled a lot, including those hose parent's were in the diplomatic corps, multinational corporations, especially if it included stints overseas, are some of THE most open minded people in the world. This would be because after you have been bounced thru multiple places and cultures unless you are as dumb as a rock you can't help but realize that people are people and local bigotry and prejudices being to look silly. Especially when every time you are moved you find a brand new set of cultural "norms".

it's up to their friends to ( ... )

Thread 8

deadlyapples April 22 2009, 00:33:02 UTC

I wish there were more parents like you in the world. I really do. I'm about your son's age (I'm in 9th grade) and my mom is not as accepting. So many parents don't realize how terrible it is to vilify or reject their own child's identity just because they're uneducated or uncomfortable with the truth. Even though you admittedly don't know a lot about trans people, I know that as long as you keep an open mind and Jack's best interests at heart, you'll do great ( ... )

evil_admiral April 22 2009, 00:39:23 UTC

Disclaimer: I am a gay man and know little of the intricacies of trans issues ( ... )

zachattack87 April 22 2009, 00:58:51 UTC

What a great mom! I don't have too much advice that hasn't already been said, nor can I add any personal experience as I'm a cisgendered gay male. However, lately I've been trying to educate myself more about transgenderism and have found an AMAZING trans-community on YouTube ( ... )