My child is trans, help!

[jacksmom53]

I apologize for this post if any find it offensive or ignorant. I was referred here by my sister, who told me that livejournal had many good communities for this kinds of issues

Comments

[indifferenthues]

Hi there, I'm the Mom of a transgender daughter (who since she is now 30-something I NEVER remember that little truly insignificant fact, LOL!).

I will admit that way back in the day we were clueless that it just "wasn't done" at her age and simply thought "Oh she has a medical condition, let's go to proper doctors and get this fixed". But thank goodness we did, I have since met people who for whatever reason were forced to live as an incorrect gender until they were late teens or even adults and to me that seems as cruel as the people who refuse appropriate medical services and just pray over the sick children or leave them with a hunchback or a clubfoot and sell them to the circus or something.

But this way your child gets to transition seamlessly from childhood to his teens to adulthood without an extra helping of tears and trauma.

We also probably has an easier time of it because our family lives "inside" and has the protection of the larger LGBT Community (oops LGBT = Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender), so to speak. So we immediately checked in to the appropriate programs and service thru our local LGBT Community Center. This way we were quickly given a counselor, correct information, good medical and psychological doctors and all that. And yes your tween/teen may fuss and groan but everyone WILL INSIST on counseling. And if they don't they are quacks and go elsewhere ASAP.

Also our daughter did NOT go to one of the huge Junior-High and High-Schools. She was in a smaller (public) alternative school. Additionally she had a great guidance counselor who was informed, quickly brought herself up to speed and worked hand in hand with her gender-identity counselors. If your area doesn't have this kind of school may I suggest you make a bee-line for the local Quaker, Unitarian Universalist, (extremely) Reform Judaism, Buddhist, etc. School. If your family's budget precludes such things, explain the circumstances and ask about scholarships.

Was it all tra-la-la fun and games and tripping merrily thru the tulips? No, most definitely not. But as much as my daughter may still stamp her feet and toss her hair over the "tragedy and drama" of it all, I have since learned that it was NOTHING compared to the disasters many others are subject too.

I'm sure there is more I'm forgetting, so if you have other questions please feel free to write me and ask.

May I suggest you also go join Genderqueer because they can tell you things from a personal point of view.

[tko_ak]

If someone has come out as FtM, especially at such a young age, why would anyone think they're genderqueer?

[indifferenthues]

I'm not sure you'd have to ask them. I've just seem FtM people on there and they seem to be a nice warm friendly nurturing bunch.