Fic: Off the Stage (6/14)
Title: Off the Stage (6/14)
Author: gradgirl (aka Ali)
Rating: PG-13 (eventually NC-17)
Previous Chapters: { Chapter 1} { Chapter 2} { Chapter 3} { Chapter 4} { Chapter 5}
Chapter Six
With one week of rehearsals down and after a nice dinner with Eric, Van was especially looking forward to going to work on Monday. He had developed a new love of the theater, he assured himself, and his character was one he was looking forward to playing. But as he was reviewing the lines, picturing the scenes, and imagining how Eric would react, Van always got a thrill of excitement and couldn’t wait to get back to work.
Morning table reads through the second act started that day. Van found himself sitting between Eric and Mia. The young woman would tell him silly jokes between breaks, and Van enjoyed talking to her. He felt an easy chemistry developing and wondered if they would become friends after this. Eric stuck mostly to himself, something Van had remembered from the last time they worked together. The redhead was extremely focused and professional, always hanging back, keeping an eye on things, a silent observer. Van was very much the opposite, always talking, always being involved. He briefly wondered how Eric and he had ever gotten along so well.
After the lunch break, the actors would rehearse on stage, getting blocking, figuring out some of the movements. Eric and Van had a scene, a bit of a breakthrough with their characters. It doesn’t diminish the animosity, but it was a start.
This time when Van and Eric got to the stage without their scripts, Neil, knew better than to ask them where they were.
“Whenever you’re ready guys!” Neil called out.
Van looked at Eric for a moment before heading off the stage. The scene begins with Eric’s character on the phone with his fiancée, Laura. Van’s character had recently met her but didn’t know the connection she had to his brother.
“Laura, I…” Eric sighed and rubbed his forehead a few times. “I don’t know how long I’ll be. The will reading is done, now I have to see if Campbell will…” He sighed and with a new determination straightened his back. “Actually, it doesn’t matter what he thinks. It was all there written in black and white for us to take care of.” A pause. “Yeah, I know, love you too.”
The sound of Van’s footsteps made Eric jump for a moment, and he quickly “hung up” the phone. He turned and looked at Van, annoyance written all over his face.
“You’re still here?” Van greeted him. There was a beat and then Van noted, “Of course you are, you didn’t get a chance to gloat yet.”
Eric’s eyes narrowed briefly. “Campbell-”
“What it’s not kid anymore?”
“Look, I get it,” Eric replied, holding his stance, but his left hand started to bounce against his leg. He was anxious to move, but the directions noted he should stay in place. Van’s character, Campbell, usually does the walking; he enters the scene and stalks around Eric’s character, Davis. “You’re pissed,” Eric noted.
Van finally closed the distance between himself and Eric. “Of course I’m pissed. I’ve been angry with you for years. You were just never around to see it.”
The older man continued to stay where he was, his hand bouncing more. Van’s eyes briefly shot down at Eric’s hand and then back at him. Eric hadn’t realized what he was doing, but the blonde’s gaze was a clue and he immediately stopped. His eyes locked with Van’s for a moment, sending a silent thank you, and Eric went to his next line. “Campbell, despite what you might think of me, I know what I’m doing when it comes to business. Father knew that, that’s why he wanted us to work together.”
“No, he didn’t,” Van noted, with a sad shake of his head.
Eric reeled back as though Van had punched him again. “I was top of my class at Stanford. I have worked hard to-”
Van held up his hand to stop Eric from reading his résumé. “I get it. You think you’re hot shit and this is your chance to prove it. Dad missed you, Davis, and that’s why he gave you part of the company. He’s been waiting years for you to come back.”
Eric’s mouth fell open. A small “oh” brushed past his lips. He quickly closed his mouth and tried to walk past Van, not wanting to get sucked back into family politics. “Davis” has been waiting years for approval from the father that had walked out on him. He was not going to accept it from his younger brother.
The redhead didn’t get far though because Van’s hand shot out, gripping his bicep. It was a familiar action, something they had done as Luke and Reid probably a dozen times before. Eric knew how to pivot so he could look at Van, without Van’s grip loosening. The younger man briefly noticed that Eric’s arm was just as strong as it was then. He was briefly overcome by the familiarity of Eric’s body, a gentle reminder of their past scenes.
But this time, Eric’s step was a little too large and there wasn’t much space between them now. His breath fluttered across Van’s face, and the younger man briefly closed his eyes, his breathing shallow for a moment. When Van opened his eyes again, he was caught, a flood of so many memories, too many emotions, and a longing for something he hadn’t ever felt smacked into him. He almost doubled over as he felt the breath leave his body.
Out of instinct, Eric reached for Van, rubbed his hand up and down the younger man’s arm. The action was meant to reassure, but it was not scripted. In that moment, they were Eric and Van, letting their impulses guide their movements. One more move up. His hand held still for a moment as his eyes searched Van's face. Then Eric's fingers loosened and brushed down along Van’s sinewy arm.
The younger man shuddered out a breath. “He…” He pinched his eyes shut for a moment, determined not to get out of the scene, refusing to let himself feel anything other than what “Campbell” should be feeling in this moment with “Davis.”
“I lied, just now, Dad hasn’t been waiting years for you to come back, that was me,” Van continued, the lines coming before his eyes, pages from the script making themselves known again. “But when he learned about your success, he took all the credit.”
“Of course he did,” Eric muttered. There was anger in his voice, and he finally let go of Van. He struggled as well, trying to reclaim the moment of the scene and not the intensity of his acting partner.
“But I…” Van swallowed again, his voice was too low, too many emotions filling up his throat. “I know this is the opportunity I have been praying for-the chance to see you and to have you in my life again. I’ve been waiting years for this.” He had to pause once more, his voice soft. Van kept thinking that in some way these were his own emotions, his own feelings for Eric and what this play could mean for them. It wasn't until he saw the older man again that Van realized just how much he had missed him, like there was more to their story and they'd lost it too soon. At first he thought it was left over regrets from the show, not getting to play the rest of Reid and Luke's story, but being around Eric, all Van felt was sadness, like he had lost something if only he'd been brave enough to go after it.
“I told you why I left,” Eric said, cutting into Van’s lines. He knew that wasn’t his cue yet, but he wanted to help his scene partner, reassure him, give Van the time he needed. Something was going on with the younger man, and Eric was too caught up in the feel of Van’s hand still on his arm, the blonde’s grip opened and closed over his bicep. He didn’t know why, but it felt nice, the touch, the reassuring way Van wanted to make sure Eric was really there and not a dream. His own hand started to shake, itching to return the gesture.
Van looked at Eric for a moment. He needed to get out of his own head and into that of his character’s. Van continued with the rest of his lines. “I missed you,” he hesitated, trying to remember the name of Eric’s character. “I missed you so much, Davis. I spent years thinking I had done something wrong, I had pushed you away. It wasn’t until I got to know Dad and see how he…I get it,” he said, pushing away, finally letting go of Eric’s arm. “He wanted you to be a part of the company because you are brilliant and successful. You told me that all he talked to you about was his new family?”
Eric nodded his head, he couldn’t speak and he’d already said his line, “I told you why I left.”
“Well, all he talked about was you and the regrets he had because I wasn’t the brilliant son who wanted to take over the family business.”
Eric’s mouth fell open in surprise; Davis couldn’t believe that his father would want him around, to be a part of his life. Davis spent the better part of the last twenty years believing the exact opposite to be true. Then there was the fact that he had no idea what his brother wanted. The cynic in him believed that Campbell was setting him up for a fall. “You don’t want to be involved?” Eric questioned.
“Spending hours in an office?” he questioned, moving a little away from Eric, and he started to circle around him. The stalking of his prey had continued again.
Eric stood still, his gaze watching and cataloguing each movement.
“That wasn’t my dream. That wasn’t my life. I don’t care about the family business. I lost you to the family drama, I lost dad to the office.” He stopped, standing behind Eric. His gaze wandered up and down the redhead’s form.
Eric turned and shot a glance over his shoulder at Van. “So what? You want to be an artist or something?” he crossed his arms over his chest. “Davis” wasn’t about to fall for this. He had his place, he’d been shut out too long; he wasn’t going to give into the sad man standing behind him. Eric's right hand started to tap against his bicep, itching to reach out, offer a reassuring rub across Van's back. He could feel the tension in the blonde, the pain and something more, brief hints of something that was always in Van's eyes. He'd seen it years before and now there were glimpses of it again. It scared Eric, made his stomach twist and his hands ache to touch the blonde. He'd never felt the need to touch someone as much as he did Van.
"An artist?" Van echoed the line and moved again, this time so he could stand next to Eric. He didn't face him, their shoulders almost grazing. Maybe it was too close, did Davis and Campbell need to stand so close? Van silently wondered. But Eric hadn't moved and this longing to be near Eric, to smell his cologne, feel the soft brush of the worn flannel shirt he had on against Van's arms was too much to move away.
"I want to build things," Van continued, explaining Campbell's dreams. "I want to build homes, places where people can be families, real families, not the lines of blood that connect us but never draw us together."
Eric turned his eyes once again needing to see Van's face, to understand what the blonde is trying to say with his eyes. He couldn't figure it out before, but somehow he felt like he needed to now. "And he knew this?" Eric questioned, meaning "their" father.
"Yes. Why do you think he wanted you here? You think you were second choice? You never were, not for either one of us," Van admitted.
Eric's hand came up, cupping Van's face, and the younger man instinctively moved, allowing Eric a better grip. "I always…"
Van shook his head and his arms came up, an open invitation. Eric stumbled into the hug, his arms snaked around Van's back, pulling the other man's body as close as possible. Van shook a little-trembled-and Eric felt the same way. His grip tightened and he burrowed his head against Van's neck. The blonde's chin rested on his shoulder. They were practically the same height, and every part connected: head to head, neck to neck, torso to torso, Van's hips were flush against Eric's. They held each other, not sure what to do next. The scene was to end with this hug. Van's hand came up, slowly tracing up Eric's spine. This time Eric found himself shuddering, and he moved his head down, his eyes closed tight. The hand on Eric's back opened, Van's palm pressed gently between his shoulder blades and then closed, gripping the shirt. They continued to hold each other for a moment, silence filling the theater.
Suddenly Van came back to himself, realized who he was and what he was doing. He quickly moved, pushing his body away from Eric's. He stood, breathing hard, his gaze not wanting to meet anything.
"All right!" Neil called, coming up to the stage. "Why don't we quit for the day? Van, Eric, I have a few notes if you could stay I'd appreciate it."
Both men nodded in the direction of where Neil had been seated. Van still wasn't able to look at Eric, and the redhead found himself with the same feeling.
Van started to head off the stage, heading toward Neil. He felt like he should apologize. The director looked at his actor for a moment. He gently placed his hand on Van's shoulder, leading him away from the stage and Eric.
"I'm going to go splash some water on my face," Eric called, needing to create as much distance as he could between Van and himself. He moved quickly, practically running to the bathroom.
Van opened his mouth again, his instinct to apologize taking over.
Neil dropped his hand and looked at Van for a moment. "So about the last scenes…" He closed his mouth and his eyes narrowed slightly. He could tell Van was uncomfortable, that he probably picked up on what Neil was about to say, but the director needed to have this conversation. "Van, is there something going on between you and Eric?"
The blonde's head snapped up. Neil saw the fear and concern immediately. "He's… No…"
"You're getting along all right?" Neil continued. "I know the scenes can be intense, and you really delivered in the audition, both of you. That's why you were chosen. Van, I don't generally care about the personal lives of my actors, unless it affects their work."
"Eric is…" Van's voice trailed off as a dozen adjectives came to his mind. "We used to work together. It was years ago. We always got along then."
"And now?" Neil asked because of what he saw on that stage.
"We haven't seen each other in like five years," Van noted. "We've been trying to renew our friendship."
Neil didn't want to make this difficult, but he felt like Van was giving him half-answers. "Friendship? Is that all?"
"Well, yes, why? Why would you-” Van immediately closed his mouth. He could still feel the shudder in his body and heat on his chest where Eric had been pressed against him.
"The way you two played the scene…it wasn't friendship and it wasn't two brothers," Neil noted.
"I'm sorry," Van finally said the words he'd been wanting to say since he finished the scene. "It's my fault."
Neil opened his mouth in protest. Van wasn't acting up there alone.
"I promise, Neil," he replied. "I won't… It'll be better next time."
"All right," the director acquiesced. "Why don't you go home and get some rest? We'll work on the scene again tomorrow."
"Right." Van offered a smile and rushed away. He didn't want to see Eric again, at least not for a while. He had to get a hold of himself. Van really wanted a drink but wasn't sure if that was a good idea. Just as he hit the door to the theater, his phone buzzed. Quickly answering it, he said, "Hello?"
"Van?" Jake's familiar and welcoming voice greeted him.
"Jake?" He couldn't believe it. He desperately needed to talk to someone and hoped that it really was his best friend on the line.
"Yeah. Sorry I didn't call sooner. Peyton and I are in town; we didn't think we could get away, but everything worked out. I'm at my folks and I was wondering-”
"Can you meet me for a drink?" Van asked desperately.
Jake's warm voice chuckled in his ear. "Yeah, that's the Van I know and remember."
Van found himself chuckling in response. "Sorry. I'm just…I really need a friend right now."
"You got it. Do you want to meet at the bar you always take me to?"
"Yeah," Van responded. "I'm…I got a new gig and I'm at the Grace Theater, give me a half hour?" he checked.
"Yeah," Jake replied. "I'll let Peyton know what's going on. I'll see you soon."
*
Eric finally made his way back to the stage. He was relieved to see that Van wasn't there and Neil was sitting, making a few notes. "So…" Eric began and then stopped. He couldn't pretend not to know what Neil wanted to talk to him about.
"Yeah, Eric, I talked to Van, and he said you guys are just friends."
There was some skepticism in the director's voice. And a part of Eric didn't like the way "just friends" sounded, but he couldn't think of anything else to describe them. "We used to work together," Eric noted. "We…it's been a while since we've seen each other."
Neil looked at Eric for a moment. The director wasn't sure if it was because the redhead was older, but he felt more comfortable getting to the root of the matter faster. Van had looked like he would shatter at the mention of the wrong word. "Eric, if you're dating, that's fine. I honestly don't care. I just want you two to keep it professional."
Eric's mouth fell open. Dating? "We, uh, no. I'm…" He stopped, again "just friends" didn't feel right. "When we worked together before? We played boyfriends. And, um." He shook his head. "We haven't really worked or seen each other since then. The show was canceled and we lost touch. I'm sorry; I'll make sure that it won't happen again."
The director felt there was more to say. The same apology that he'd received from Van sounded false in Eric. He didn't doubt the redhead's sincerity and concern about getting the scenes right. Van had looked scared. Eric looked uncertain, like even he didn't believe what he was saying about Van and himself. "Well, like I told Van, get some rest and we'll work on the scenes again tomorrow."
"Right," Eric noted and walked away. He reached for his phone, wanting to call Van, to check on the younger man. But he wasn't sure what he would say.
*
After a few minutes of Jake showing Van the latest pictures of Beth and Van asking questions about their trip, Jake finally asked, "So what's going on?" Van had been polite and showed interest in the pictures, but Jake could tell something was bothering his friend.
Van quickly grabbed his drink and took a few gulps. The alcohol burned his throat and made his eyes sting. For the first time since he left the theater, he was able to not think about Eric and how it felt to be in his arms. Physical reaction to a co-star is not something new; you’re creating intimate scenes, touch, kissing, it’s all an act. But how could he create such a situation in the scene with Eric? Talking on that stage, he’d felt so much, too much was blurring between reality and fiction, and it scared him.
“Van?” Jake reached out pulling his friend’s hand away from the drink. “I thought you getting this play was a good thing,” the brunette noted. “When you mentioned the script…I can’t remember the last time you’ve been excited about a project.”
“No, no.” Van shook his head. “I am, I mean other than the stuff working with you, you’re right, I’m excited. And…” He shook his head again. “I haven’t even told you the most amazing and cool coincidence about my new project.”
“What?” Jake asked, but he was a little concerned. He got the impression that Van was trying to put on a brave face.
“The guy they cast as the older brother?”
“Yeah?”
“It’s Eric.” And Van couldn’t help but smile, just by saying the other man’s name.
Jake’s mouth opened to ask “Eric who?” but one look at the smile on Van’s face and he realized, “Not…not the Eric we worked with?”
“Yep.” Van’s smile grew a little more, and he leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest. “ESS himself.”
Jake chuckled at the nickname. “Always made him sound like a barge. That’s…” Jake shook his head. “So weird, I mean great for you; I know how sad you were not to be able to work with him again. You’ve been waiting years for this.”
“Yeah,” Van said quietly, thinking about one of the hardest things about the show ending was seeing the end of Luke and Reid’s relationship and Van’s own relationship with Eric come to a close.
“So how is he?” Jake asked. There was something different about Van. They had been fortunate to maintain their relationship and after nearly nine years of friendship, Jake thought he could read Van better than most.
“He’s…Eric. You know, he’s very talented, very funny, very brilliant. We haven’t gotten to talk too much, and we’ve just started the second week of rehearsals…” His voice trailed off, and he felt his face burn, remembering the way the director had talked to him.
“And rehearsals?” Jake asked, trying to be gentle, but something about Eric was bothering Van, and he couldn’t figure out why. Van always, always had glowing, wonderful things to say about Eric. It was too bad that they had lost track over the years, but he figured Van would be over the moon about reconnecting with their old co-star.
“Okay.” Van leaned in closer, afraid someone would overhear them, but it was Monday night. Tthe people in a bar on Monday nights didn’t really care about conversation. “I had a talk with the director, about a scene Eric and I did, it…” He closed his eyes, not able to look at Jake, and he felt his ears burn. “We play half-brothers.”
“Yeah, so?”
“It didn’t exactly come off that way,” Van admitted, cringing slightly.
“Well, how did it come off?”
“I think he was getting a Flowers in the Attic vibe,” Van said, referring to novel about siblings trapped in an attic and the incestuous relationship they develop.
Jake let out a bark of laughter, but the moment he saw Van’s face, he tried to contain it. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, man. So, what did Eric say?”
“Nothing, I ran as soon as I finished talked to Neil, the director. I just…my feelings for Eric have always been…I liked him from the start,” Van said. “And we played boyfriends on World Turns, so maybe that’s it, but…” He shook his head.
Jake quickly sobered. It had been quite a while since Van talked about Eric, and Jake wondered if he knew how much he gave away when he did. “What?” the brunette gently pushed.
“It didn’t feel like Luke and Reid. It felt like I was angry with him for not keeping in touch and it’s not his fault, these things happen. But when we talked and I found out he’s been divorced for four years? I thought we were better friends than that.”
“What? He and Jenny-”
“Yeah,” Van replied. “And I’m being selfish right? He’s a great guy and his marriage ended and all I keep thinking about is ‘why didn’t you call me sooner’? It’s not like… Whatever.” He straightened up in his chair. “Tomorrow, I’m leaving all of that off the stage.”
There was still so much for Jake to ask, but he didn’t think he should.
*
Eric ordered take-out and reviewed the script again. He had to get the images of how he and Van played the scene out of his head. He needed to focus on what was actually there. He was pulled away from the script when his phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Eric,” his ex-wife’s voice greeted him. “How was play practice?”
The redhead was grateful that he and his ex-wife had been able to maintain a relationship after the divorce. They had reached a point where they realized they loved each other as friends, and if they wanted to maintain that friendship, they would need to separate. It had been a painful decision, but looking back it was the best one for them.
He sighed though as he thought about Jenny’s question. He didn’t want to get into the details of what had been said, but he’d been thinking about it all night as well. “Uh, okay.”
“Yeah, right.” She chuckled. She still knew him too well. “Tell me what happened.”
He sighed again. “You know I’m working with Van again, right?”
“Of course, I think it’s wonderful. You guys were so great together on the show. I know I can’t wait to see the two of you together again.”
“About that…”
“Don’t you want the kids and I to see you? We always go to your plays.”
“I know,” he replied. “I just had a bit of an odd conversation with the director. He asked if Van and I were dating.”
Jenny’s light laughter greeted him through the phone. “Left over Reid and Luke?” she questioned.
“The characters are completely different. I’m a professional, Jen, I should…” his voice trailed off. That was what was bothering him so much. Never before had he not been able to separate his work life from his personal. Why did acting with this guy, someone he worked not even a year with make him feel so…
“Then is it Van?” his ex-wife asked.
He felt his heart start to pound. He hadn’t thought of the younger man in awhile, and he’d never thought of him the way Reid thought of Luke. But Eric was a different person then; he’d been happily married, not even thinking about what would happen once the show ended. He’d barely been there when news arrived of the cancellation. Creating the character of Reid, working with Van and Jake, meeting fans, he’d been thrust in a completely different environment than anything he’d ever known before. Luckily he did have Van and Jake to help him navigate. But why would that matter now?
“What are you talking about?” Eric asked instead of responding to her question.
“I don’t know, Eric, you and Van were friends, I remember the way you’d talk about him, how funny and talented he was. The kids always liked to see him.”
“Because they acted close to the same age,” he replied wryly.
“He’s in his thirties now. Is he single?”
“Yeah,” Eric replied.
“You know…you could have had a chance with Christopher. Eric, all I wanted was for you to be happy, and you were with him. We would have found a way to talk to Nate and Sarah about your relationship and explain how much you cared for him.”
Eric closed his eyes, trying to block out the sound of Jenny’s voice. Several months before Eric had been in a relationship with a fellow actor, Christopher Johns. It was one of the last things Eric had ever expected, meeting him, finding himself attracted and wanting a chance with a man. But when Christopher asked for a real chance, the opportunity to have a relationship outside of either one of their apartments, Eric got scared and ended it. He wasn’t ready; he didn’t know if he could admit to what he wanted. Was that it? he silently wondered. Was seeing Van again, bringing out his feelings for Christopher?
But…
“When I’m acting with him, I keep thinking about him as Van,” Eric noted. “I don’t think about Christopher, and I don’t think about Reid and Luke. Sometimes he looks at me, he’ll smile or get that gleam in his eyes, and…”
“And?” she gently prompted. All she wanted was Eric to be happy. She’d been lucky enough to find love again, and she wanted that for Eric as well.
“I never thought of him in any kind of romantic context,” Eric said forcibly. “He was always Van, my acting partner, that’s it.”
“And now?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “But I’ve got to figure it out by tomorrow; otherwise, I could be out of a job.” And I don’t want to lose track of him again, he silently added.
*
Eric let out a breath as the cool air hit him. Van and Jake were leading the way out of the restaurant. He could admit that he was grateful that Jake had come to find him and Van after the scenes. He knew they would be less intense tomorrow. More kissing, Reid wants to make love and Luke freaks out. But for now, he’s grateful that he was able to leave all of that behind him and have a nice dinner with these guys.
The three of them stood outside of the restaurant. “Van and I should catch the subway up the street,” Jake noted.
But neither Van nor Eric moved for a moment. Their eyes met and Van offered a smile. “You really were great today,” he said.
Eric shook his head and thought that he should be the one saying those words to the younger man.
“Can’t wait to make out with you tomorrow,” Van noted with a wink.
Eric felt the air leave his body and then he heard Jake let out a bark of laughter. “He always says that,” Jake noted. “Welcome to the club.”
The older man nodded his head. Van would do this occasionally: a wink, a tease, he was an affectionate guy. Eric wasn’t used to that. He briefly wondered that if they would have more time to work together, instead of only these next few months, if he would get used to it. He loved playing Reid, and he felt he knew who Reid was; he was generally in control in his scenes. When he was with Van, he started to question a lot of things. He felt disconcerted. He was almost 40-years-old, and he was left unbalanced by the blonde in front of him.
“Come on,” Jake said, tugging Van’s arm.
“Do you want us to wait while you get a cab?” Van checked.
Eric shook his head and saw one rounding the corner. “See you tomorrow,” Eric called over his shoulder as he rushed to hail the cab.
“Come on,” Jake repeated, tugging on Van’s arm again. The blonde was watching their co-star. “Van?”
He jumped slightly. “What?”
Jake crossed his arms over his chest. “Enjoying the view?” he asked, indicating Eric’s retreating form.
Van swung around and looked at Jake. “What are you talking about, Silbermann?”
“You were off tonight and what you said to Eric?” Jake’s eyes narrowed slightly. “You have never said that to me. I said it to you once, and you told me it was cheesy and you’d never say it to one of your scene partners.”
“It is cheesy,” Van replied.
“Then why’d you say it to Eric?”
Van’s mouth opened once or twice and then he started toward the subway. Jake’s legs were longer and he quickly ate up the distance between them.
“Do you like him?” Jake questioned.
Van shook his head but he stopped walking. His legs started to burn, and he knew there was no way he could outrun Jake. “He’s Eric. Who doesn’t like him?”
“Half the Nuke fans,” Jake countered. “And that’s not what I meant. You guys were good, I mean that, Van, and I saw the way you kissed him.”
“Jealous?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow, trying to divert Jake’s attention.
“No,” the brunette wouldn’t be deterred. “What’s going on? You talk about him all the time, which is fine. I like Eric too and he’s an amazing actor. But I’ve heard you-”
“I get nervous when I kiss him,” Van finally said. “It’s like I’m in high school again, and it’s the first time I’ve ever kissed a guy. I don’t want to stop and I’m terrified I’m not doing it right.”
“Well, from what I saw today, it’s not obvious.”
“Jake…”
“I’m serious,” the brunette noted. “It’s because I know you, that’s why. So you like him, I get that. But does it go beyond… Do you have a crush on him?”
Van shoved his hands into this pocket and slowly started walking again. “If anything…” He glanced over his shoulder at Jake. “It’s a professional crush. He’s a great actor and I love his choices, he’s…brilliant and I admire that.”
Jake walked with him. He wanted to let Van talk, but he wouldn’t be a good friend if he let Van completely talk himself out of all of this. It could just make everything more difficult later on. “Van…”
“He’s married!” he exclaimed, swinging around to face Jake. “He’s married and he’s older, and he’s… I can’t.” He shook his head, his voice cracking, and he felt like a stupid teenager, another reason why Eric would never look twice at him. “I can’t,” he finished empathetically.
“Okay,” Jake said. “I’d offer to get drunk, but you’ve got to work tomorrow.”
Van laughed. “That’s why you’re my very best friend.”
*
Eric was relieved to finally get home. His children were in bed, but Jenny was waiting for him. She greeted him with a hug and kiss. “How was your day?” she asked. “Did you have fun with the boys?”
He chuckled ruefully. “They are boys. Van offered to give Nate some of his comic books.”
“Really?” Jenny smiled. “That’s so sweet. I’m sure Nate will love it.”
“Yeah, it was nice,” Eric noted.
“And the scenes today? Reading them with you, it was intense. I can only imagine what it was like to film them.”
He hesitated for a moment. He wasn’t sure how to describe what had happened on the set today. “Van is terrific,” he replied honestly.
“He’s adorable,” she replied.
“Glad to know you’re not the jealous type.”
“You have to admit,” Jenny teased. “He’s rather cute. I think it’s the mouth.”
Eric shook his head and headed for the kitchen to get a beer. He didn’t think he could describe the cuteness of the man he was going to kiss tomorrow with his wife. “He impressed me today,” Eric noted. “The gamut of emotions he had to display today…he was great.”
“And the kiss?”
“Really not that different then kissing a woman. He did warn me about beard burn, though.”
“Ah, yes.” She chuckled softly. “Did he shave for you?”
Eric shook his head and a smile tugged at his lips. “He looked so young, so vulnerable. Everything that he was asked to do today-anxiety, fear, hatred-he delivered and then some. And the kiss…it was fine, no problems.” He unconsciously reached up and tugged on the hair at the back of his neck. He briefly remembered feeling Van’s fingers there, gentle fingertips against his neck. “I’m…I’ll just be disappointed when all of this ends.”
“I know.” She reached over and gently held his face in her hands. “But we have Vermont in August.”
He smiled and leaned closer, briefly kissing her, grateful that Jenny could help him get his mind off the events from the day.
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Hope you enjoyed this chapter’s “rehearsal.” How did you feel about the hug? Did you like it or feel embarrassed for Van and Eric? Thank you again for reading. ~Ali
Onto Chapter Seven...