little white lie vs. brutal honesty

[georgiamagnolia]

(Let me first preface this by saying the person in question is nobody you know and nobody that reads this journal, just so there is no confusion.So where is the line between pretending and outright lie

Comments

[elysian_heart]

I always prefer honesty to being strung along, even if its' just because someone is being nice.

[georgiamagnolia]

You have a good point. And that is the reason I wonder.

which do I prefer?

[anonymous]

What was the second one? That 'brutal' thing? Honesty?

~M

Re: which do I prefer?

[georgiamagnolia]

somehow I thought you would. :)

[lilithschild]

From a person who loves me, I would prefer brutal honesty. In my worldview, their love for me would mean that they would tell me the truth with compassion. If it were more than love (yes, I do believe there is such a thing), they could be a bit more caustic. If we are linked at that level they probably know where to tweak me without crushing me. Probably, I would be caustic back and they would understand too. Then we would go back to being everyday. No harm, no foul. If you don't REALLY care for me just shut the fuck up and say nothing. Sorry for the complicated answer. More and more these days, I find that many things have more than one answer for me:)

[georgiamagnolia]

so much has more than one answer, and so many situations have multiple facets. I have more than one answer for just about everything. :)

[hranch]

Hmm. When I was growing up, my father always told me that part of being in relationships was doing things that aren't your first choice because you love the person. It's been my experience that with the right person those tasks you don't like become acceptible simply because you want your partner to be happy and that makes you happy ... so it seems to me that since you're not really lying, per se, just going along with a fantasy, there's not really any harm in it.

"And if they do find out you have been pretending to enjoy that story, do they feel betrayed and unloved suddenly because you have not really been enjoying it, but only went along for their benefit, or do they realize that it is only because you love them that you went along in the first place, and they realize that you love them despite the difference in taste and opinion?"Guess it would depend on the person, wouldn't it? Ideally you'd hope that the second option is true, that you went along because you love them. It's not like we ever meet people that have the exact

[georgiamagnolia]

See, that is where I live, the compromise between what I enjoy and wanting my loved one to be happy. And it is not always the easiest place to live and I think that is also why I do not have a, well, shall we say... traditional relationship with anyone, it's because if I really do love someone and feel trusting of their love, when I feel that I don't have to protect them from the me that is true, then I will do whatever it takes to find the compromise. But ya know, with the vast majority of people, that isn't happening, that trust.

[hranch]

See, that's the point though, Georgia. I truly believe with the right person you'll find that the compromise isn't that hard to make. I had a date one night with a woman I was in deep smit with and actually went to a Candlelight candle party, for God's sake.

Which you should ask me about if we ever do the gaming night thing some night btw because it's probably one of my best dating disaster stories.

But anyways, the point is that if unless you have some deep-seated hatred for the French getting in the way, perhaps you should delve inside to find the real reason a weekend jaunt to the city of romance isn't really your thing (or whatever other fantasy involving that person)? Because it occurs to me perhaps the answer isn't the location as much as the company ... Lord knows I dislike the French as much as anyone, but I'd love the opportunity to see Paris again, and moreso with someone I loved. Hell I'd be happy going to see the strip-mining operations in Leadville with someone I cared about, you know?

[georgiamagnolia]

*laugh* and I have so much to say, but spent all this time IMing with this hot guy and now have to go shower so I will write more later.

I do want to hear about the gamedatedisaster.

(I shoulda warned ya that we, "my little group" as you put it, are diehard flirts, you have been warned)

[georgiamagnolia]

indeed. I appreciate your comments, I do, and will have more to say later.

*hugs*