little white lie vs. brutal honesty

[georgiamagnolia]

(Let me first preface this by saying the person in question is nobody you know and nobody that reads this journal, just so there is no confusion.So where is the line between pretending and outright lie

Comments

[hranch]

Hmm. When I was growing up, my father always told me that part of being in relationships was doing things that aren't your first choice because you love the person. It's been my experience that with the right person those tasks you don't like become acceptible simply because you want your partner to be happy and that makes you happy ... so it seems to me that since you're not really lying, per se, just going along with a fantasy, there's not really any harm in it.

"And if they do find out you have been pretending to enjoy that story, do they feel betrayed and unloved suddenly because you have not really been enjoying it, but only went along for their benefit, or do they realize that it is only because you love them that you went along in the first place, and they realize that you love them despite the difference in taste and opinion?"

Guess it would depend on the person, wouldn't it? Ideally you'd hope that the second option is true, that you went along because you love them. It's not like we ever meet people that have the exact same likes and dislikes in life -- hell, that would get sort of boring I would think.

Given the risk of that realization not occuring if they did know it wasn't your fantasy, though, perhaps there's a way to share that fact without ruining it for them?

[georgiamagnolia]

See, that is where I live, the compromise between what I enjoy and wanting my loved one to be happy. And it is not always the easiest place to live and I think that is also why I do not have a, well, shall we say... traditional relationship with anyone, it's because if I really do love someone and feel trusting of their love, when I feel that I don't have to protect them from the me that is true, then I will do whatever it takes to find the compromise. But ya know, with the vast majority of people, that isn't happening, that trust.

[hranch]

See, that's the point though, Georgia. I truly believe with the right person you'll find that the compromise isn't that hard to make. I had a date one night with a woman I was in deep smit with and actually went to a Candlelight candle party, for God's sake.

Which you should ask me about if we ever do the gaming night thing some night btw because it's probably one of my best dating disaster stories.

But anyways, the point is that if unless you have some deep-seated hatred for the French getting in the way, perhaps you should delve inside to find the real reason a weekend jaunt to the city of romance isn't really your thing (or whatever other fantasy involving that person)? Because it occurs to me perhaps the answer isn't the location as much as the company ... Lord knows I dislike the French as much as anyone, but I'd love the opportunity to see Paris again, and moreso with someone I loved. Hell I'd be happy going to see the strip-mining operations in Leadville with someone I cared about, you know?

[georgiamagnolia]

*laugh* and I have so much to say, but spent all this time IMing with this hot guy and now have to go shower so I will write more later.

I do want to hear about the gamedatedisaster.

(I shoulda warned ya that we, "my little group" as you put it, are diehard flirts, you have been warned)