FanFic100: #076 Who?
Title: So they must depart
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Characters: Cadman/Lorne
Prompt: #076 Who?
Word Count: 1.441
Rating: K+
Summary: Laura Cadman is getting married... really?
Author's Notes: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you now... Amy MacDonald Theme Month. Which basically means that I had a little challenge with myself going on to see if I could write a story for every song (except the hidden bonus track, that is) on Amy MacDonald's "This Is The Life" album (European readers might be familiar with her, most of all those from the UK and Germany). So... what can I say? I could, so March will be the month that only features stories written for those songs, posted in the order they are on the album (don't ask...). And let me tell you... some of them were real tough cookies to write ;) Anyway, thanks to mackenziesmomma for the betaing (and liking Amy MacDonalds when I introduced her to some of Amy's songs ;))!
BTW, this one... could be a kind of "What if..." to the "Protect and Survive" stories. You'll see, why.
And here's the LDT.
So they must depart
“And so they must depart
To many more a broken heart
But I've seen that all before
In TV, books and film and more
And there's a happy ending
Every single day.”
Amy MacDonald, “Mr. Rock and Roll”
Whoa. Whoever would have thought she’d ever look like that. All in white and like a gigantic meringue, although everyone assured her that it’s not a meringue dress. But yeah, the skirts have a certain fluffiness to them and there’s the veil - why ever didn’t she stop her mother from adding this particular item? - and… yeah, she looks like a giant piece of pastry. She sighs.
She’d really tried to convince Carson to skip the whole big wedding thing and simply elope - they are in Scotland and really not that far from Gretna Green, as cliché as it is - but he’d insisted on an old fashioned big family wedding and of course he was right. Her mother probably would have cut her out of her will if she’d taken the opportunity to see her little girl walk down the aisle on the arm of her father away from her. Another sigh and another look in the mirror.
“Getting cold feet?” She smirks at the reflection of the man that just opened the door behind her and is now leaning on the door frame with his arms crossed.
“Under tons of silk and taffeta and in the middle of summer? Not very likely, don’t you think?” Looking down and grinning, he pushes himself away from the doorframe and comes sauntering into the room, the hands in the pockets of his Dress Blues’ trousers.
“You know what I mean, Laura.” She resists yet another sigh. Yes, of course she does. There’s been only one person among all her friends and relatives whom she called onto when a few weeks ago sudden pre-wedding jitters had her fully in their firm grip: Major Evan Lorne, her CO… and maybe what you could call her best friend.
There’d been this night on Atlantis, when she’d woken up beside Carson and looked at him and suddenly… felt like it was all… wrong. The feeling had nearly terrified her and because she didn’t want to wake Carson - not to mention that she would have lacked the words to explain to him what was happening without scaring him off or making him angry - she’d gotten out of bed as fast as she could and woken up Evan. Of course it had been mighty embarrassing once she’d stood in front of his door and he’d opened with bed hair and tired eyes, but she’d just known that of all the people on Atlantis he was maybe the only one who understood her well enough to know what an emergency that was.
“Course I do. And no, I’m not getting cold feet. I’m just wondering why I ever thought it was a good idea to have my mother have a say in the dress I’m going to wear.” A little scowling she lifts her skirts a few inches and sticks out her tongue. “Honestly, what’s wrong with Dress Blues? You are all allowed to wear them.”
He takes a deep breath and she’s sure he’ll make a stupid quip about wondering if she’s really a girl after all, but to her surprise he says, “You look beautiful, Laura. The Doc will be… he’ll… if he didn’t already love you he’d fall in love the moment he sees you.”
She wishes he’d not said that, like she wished he hadn’t said all the other cryptic stuff he said over the last year. Time and again, something like that slipped out and every time both of them had taken great care to pretend it was something totally normal to say to a subordinate and friend… just like… just like they’d pretended that it was normal that he was the only one she allowed to come near her when a mission had gone wrong. She knows that in a perfect world, this would have been Carson, but if this world was perfect… there wouldn’t even be missions that go wrong to start with.
“Evan…” She should tell him now what they have both known all along: That there are about a million reasons why they should stop whatever they’re doing - or not doing - here. She’s his subordinate and she’s his friend and she’s about going to get fucking married to Carson Beckett. But sometimes she’s just such a damn coward. “Thank you. I do appreciate a little well-placed white lie now and then.”
He swallows, and for a moment she has the terrible feeling he will say something both of them will regret, but then he does something a little unexpected: He hugs her. Not in a crushing bear hug, but strong enough that had her mother been in the room, he’d have to face her wrath for wrinkling the veil now. “You’ll make the Doc a very happy man today.”
For a moment, she’s dumbfounded. Close physical contact isn't uncommon between them, but it’s not exactly an everyday occurrence, either. Usually it’s reserved for very emotional situations, where nothing but a touch can get you down to earth, but yeah… your best friend getting married could count as one of those situations as well. So she hugs him back, closing her eyes… feeling the muscles on his back under his uniform’s fabric, strangely tense… smelling his very unique scent, so different from Carson’s… “And he knows he owes that all to you.”
Instead of answering, he just gives her another squeeze and with a start she realizes that this was cruel. While it is the truth - Evan being the one helping her not to lose faith that she and Carson could start over - that squeeze somehow tells her that doing all of this has hurt him more than all the Pegasus galaxy’s Wraith together. Suddenly she fiercely regrets inviting Evan to her wedding and feels like a goddamn fool and asshole for doing this to him. In the desperate attempt to communicate an apology to him and because she’s afraid to lose her best friend to her idiocy, she tightens her hold.
Until she hears another voice from the door, that is. “Laura? It’s time.” Immediately, Evan lets go of her and in the attempt to save at least a bit of his dignity, clears his throat.
“Yeah, right. I trust you not to trip on the way down the aisle, Captain.” She covers her own completely riled up spirits with a smirk and a stuck out tongue, but doesn’t get to answer him, because he just gives her father a nod and then is gone, to take his place among the other guests in the church.
Her father comes into the room and she expects him to simply take her arm and take all insecurities and confusion from her. And yes, he attempts to, but… before she can even touch him he takes a deep breath. “Honey… I don’t want you to answer me. I just want you to listen to me. I will lead you out there with the greatest pleasure and without any regrets… but only if you could also very well walk out there on your own, with no one that has to lead you or give you directions. Carson loves you and he deserves a bride that doesn’t have regrets and didn’t just want the safe way out. Because the safest way out isn't always the best way out, Laura.”
The safest way out… does her decision to marry Carson really come down to that? She looks out the window and swallows. And as if Fate wants to throw even more at her, she sees that Evan hadn’t gone back into the church. In fact… he has sat down on one of the benches in front of it, his head in his hands, looking utterly forlorn… the sight gives her an unsuspectedly fierce stab in the heart and she realizes that no matter how she decides now, she will make one man happy today… and break another man’s heart. But she has to make a decision, once and for all… for the one she can walk up to all on her own.
She takes a deep breath and walks towards her father. Smiling, she stands on her tiptoes and gives him a soft kiss on the cheek. “As always, daddy knows best. Thanks.” Determinedly, she gathers up her skirts and walks out of the room, with the step of a woman who knows with unerring certainty that she just made the right decision.
~*~
A/N #2: So... who do think is she going to end up with? Tell me.
~*~
TBC in The City Calls Your Name, Something That Never Really Had a Name or Go Your Own Way.
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Characters: Cadman/Lorne
Prompt: #076 Who?
Word Count: 1.441
Rating: K+
Summary: Laura Cadman is getting married... really?
Author's Notes: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you now... Amy MacDonald Theme Month. Which basically means that I had a little challenge with myself going on to see if I could write a story for every song (except the hidden bonus track, that is) on Amy MacDonald's "This Is The Life" album (European readers might be familiar with her, most of all those from the UK and Germany). So... what can I say? I could, so March will be the month that only features stories written for those songs, posted in the order they are on the album (don't ask...). And let me tell you... some of them were real tough cookies to write ;) Anyway, thanks to mackenziesmomma for the betaing (and liking Amy MacDonalds when I introduced her to some of Amy's songs ;))!
BTW, this one... could be a kind of "What if..." to the "Protect and Survive" stories. You'll see, why.
And here's the LDT.
So they must depart
“And so they must depart
To many more a broken heart
But I've seen that all before
In TV, books and film and more
And there's a happy ending
Every single day.”
Amy MacDonald, “Mr. Rock and Roll”
Whoa. Whoever would have thought she’d ever look like that. All in white and like a gigantic meringue, although everyone assured her that it’s not a meringue dress. But yeah, the skirts have a certain fluffiness to them and there’s the veil - why ever didn’t she stop her mother from adding this particular item? - and… yeah, she looks like a giant piece of pastry. She sighs.
She’d really tried to convince Carson to skip the whole big wedding thing and simply elope - they are in Scotland and really not that far from Gretna Green, as cliché as it is - but he’d insisted on an old fashioned big family wedding and of course he was right. Her mother probably would have cut her out of her will if she’d taken the opportunity to see her little girl walk down the aisle on the arm of her father away from her. Another sigh and another look in the mirror.
“Getting cold feet?” She smirks at the reflection of the man that just opened the door behind her and is now leaning on the door frame with his arms crossed.
“Under tons of silk and taffeta and in the middle of summer? Not very likely, don’t you think?” Looking down and grinning, he pushes himself away from the doorframe and comes sauntering into the room, the hands in the pockets of his Dress Blues’ trousers.
“You know what I mean, Laura.” She resists yet another sigh. Yes, of course she does. There’s been only one person among all her friends and relatives whom she called onto when a few weeks ago sudden pre-wedding jitters had her fully in their firm grip: Major Evan Lorne, her CO… and maybe what you could call her best friend.
There’d been this night on Atlantis, when she’d woken up beside Carson and looked at him and suddenly… felt like it was all… wrong. The feeling had nearly terrified her and because she didn’t want to wake Carson - not to mention that she would have lacked the words to explain to him what was happening without scaring him off or making him angry - she’d gotten out of bed as fast as she could and woken up Evan. Of course it had been mighty embarrassing once she’d stood in front of his door and he’d opened with bed hair and tired eyes, but she’d just known that of all the people on Atlantis he was maybe the only one who understood her well enough to know what an emergency that was.
“Course I do. And no, I’m not getting cold feet. I’m just wondering why I ever thought it was a good idea to have my mother have a say in the dress I’m going to wear.” A little scowling she lifts her skirts a few inches and sticks out her tongue. “Honestly, what’s wrong with Dress Blues? You are all allowed to wear them.”
He takes a deep breath and she’s sure he’ll make a stupid quip about wondering if she’s really a girl after all, but to her surprise he says, “You look beautiful, Laura. The Doc will be… he’ll… if he didn’t already love you he’d fall in love the moment he sees you.”
She wishes he’d not said that, like she wished he hadn’t said all the other cryptic stuff he said over the last year. Time and again, something like that slipped out and every time both of them had taken great care to pretend it was something totally normal to say to a subordinate and friend… just like… just like they’d pretended that it was normal that he was the only one she allowed to come near her when a mission had gone wrong. She knows that in a perfect world, this would have been Carson, but if this world was perfect… there wouldn’t even be missions that go wrong to start with.
“Evan…” She should tell him now what they have both known all along: That there are about a million reasons why they should stop whatever they’re doing - or not doing - here. She’s his subordinate and she’s his friend and she’s about going to get fucking married to Carson Beckett. But sometimes she’s just such a damn coward. “Thank you. I do appreciate a little well-placed white lie now and then.”
He swallows, and for a moment she has the terrible feeling he will say something both of them will regret, but then he does something a little unexpected: He hugs her. Not in a crushing bear hug, but strong enough that had her mother been in the room, he’d have to face her wrath for wrinkling the veil now. “You’ll make the Doc a very happy man today.”
For a moment, she’s dumbfounded. Close physical contact isn't uncommon between them, but it’s not exactly an everyday occurrence, either. Usually it’s reserved for very emotional situations, where nothing but a touch can get you down to earth, but yeah… your best friend getting married could count as one of those situations as well. So she hugs him back, closing her eyes… feeling the muscles on his back under his uniform’s fabric, strangely tense… smelling his very unique scent, so different from Carson’s… “And he knows he owes that all to you.”
Instead of answering, he just gives her another squeeze and with a start she realizes that this was cruel. While it is the truth - Evan being the one helping her not to lose faith that she and Carson could start over - that squeeze somehow tells her that doing all of this has hurt him more than all the Pegasus galaxy’s Wraith together. Suddenly she fiercely regrets inviting Evan to her wedding and feels like a goddamn fool and asshole for doing this to him. In the desperate attempt to communicate an apology to him and because she’s afraid to lose her best friend to her idiocy, she tightens her hold.
Until she hears another voice from the door, that is. “Laura? It’s time.” Immediately, Evan lets go of her and in the attempt to save at least a bit of his dignity, clears his throat.
“Yeah, right. I trust you not to trip on the way down the aisle, Captain.” She covers her own completely riled up spirits with a smirk and a stuck out tongue, but doesn’t get to answer him, because he just gives her father a nod and then is gone, to take his place among the other guests in the church.
Her father comes into the room and she expects him to simply take her arm and take all insecurities and confusion from her. And yes, he attempts to, but… before she can even touch him he takes a deep breath. “Honey… I don’t want you to answer me. I just want you to listen to me. I will lead you out there with the greatest pleasure and without any regrets… but only if you could also very well walk out there on your own, with no one that has to lead you or give you directions. Carson loves you and he deserves a bride that doesn’t have regrets and didn’t just want the safe way out. Because the safest way out isn't always the best way out, Laura.”
The safest way out… does her decision to marry Carson really come down to that? She looks out the window and swallows. And as if Fate wants to throw even more at her, she sees that Evan hadn’t gone back into the church. In fact… he has sat down on one of the benches in front of it, his head in his hands, looking utterly forlorn… the sight gives her an unsuspectedly fierce stab in the heart and she realizes that no matter how she decides now, she will make one man happy today… and break another man’s heart. But she has to make a decision, once and for all… for the one she can walk up to all on her own.
She takes a deep breath and walks towards her father. Smiling, she stands on her tiptoes and gives him a soft kiss on the cheek. “As always, daddy knows best. Thanks.” Determinedly, she gathers up her skirts and walks out of the room, with the step of a woman who knows with unerring certainty that she just made the right decision.
~*~
A/N #2: So... who do think is she going to end up with? Tell me.
~*~
TBC in The City Calls Your Name, Something That Never Really Had a Name or Go Your Own Way.