For the last two months I've been unemployed.  I've searched for jobs, had interviews and had my hopes crash around me several times.  The last time I was without a job I was 19.  It was one of the darkest times I can remember in my adult life.  I was living in a one-bedroom apartment with three roommates, still deep in depression and denial about ( Read more... )

Over the last few weeks the same conversation continues to crop up among my friends: media representation of transsexual women. Since this may be a subject I pursue in my education I've made it my mission to watch any movie featuring trans women. There are any number of formulaic documentaries that dissect the physical transition process, ( Read more... )

Perhaps it's because of my own unique upbringing, but I have zero patience for a lot of crap my fellow women do to each other and men. Excuse me while I rant:

I don't play mind games. I say what I want, when I want it. If I don't, I have no one to blame for poor communication but myself.

I don't start or enjoy drama. My life has enough ups ( Read more... )

I've never been one to share intimacy easily, especially physically. I have not appreciate being hugged or prodded or even touched most of my life. It wasn't about other bodies invading my personal space, my personal space was the problem. A couple years ago my self-esteem wasn't even low, more like non-existent. I viewed my body as nothing ( Read more... )

This may sound self-serving, but it takes a lot of inner strength to survive transsexuality. When the entire world is trying to convince you of a lie from birth it's hard to stand up and fight it. Especially when it's tied into every aspect of our society. People who were gendered correctly at birth hardly notice how gender-saturated our ( Read more... )

I recently opened my own Netflix account because I love the way it learns my personal taste over time as well as the access to many obscure foreign films and documentaries. When I saw the description for Breasts: A Documentary in my suggested movies I pounced on it:

"22 women talk about the role breasts have played in their varied life ( Read more... )

The best part about keeping an online journal, something I've done for about six year now, is being able to look back at the person I once was and see the steps I took to get here. I can return to long-forgotten dreams and fears and gain perspective. Do I look back at my very first posts from my deep-in-denial stage and cringe with ( Read more... )

Last week I finished re-reading Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity by Julia Serano. I read this book a year or so ago, giving me new confidence in my identity as a feminist. It was the first book I found that actually understood transsexuality as I saw it. A book about transsexual women by a ( Read more... )

I finally have internet access and a working computer at my house! This means I no longer have an excuse to put off my blog. It's not that I didn't enjoy writing every day, but it is pretty easy to fall out of the habit if I'm not careful. I kept up with my notebook for a while, but I enjoy writing this blog a lot more. The notebook is ( Read more... )

So it's been about two weeks since I last posted.  On the one hand, it was a nice break and I'm glad to recharge my batteries, so to speak.  But I'm also a writer and that means when I'm not writing I tend to go a little crazy.  I kept things going by writing in my journal while at work and that gave me the outlet I needed but now I'm back online ( Read more... )