Pick a Number
This may sound self-serving, but it takes a lot of inner strength to survive transsexuality. When the entire world is trying to convince you of a lie from birth it's hard to stand up and fight it. Especially when it's tied into every aspect of our society. People who were gendered correctly at birth hardly notice how gender-saturated our world is. Humans naturally follow the path of least resistance and only question what is uncomfortable. Therefore, most people accept sports, restrooms, occupations, titles, roles, mannerisms, clothes, hair styles and names are divided between an insurmountable wall. But why can't a little girl shave her head and dream of being a firefighter? Why can't a little boy wear a pink dress and take ballet classes? Why aren't children allowed to say what gender they wish to be raised in? There's no logical reason for it, only the taboo enforcing the illusion of a gender binary.
Alfred Kinsey teaches us physical sex, sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression are not binary choices but sliding scales we all reside on. He used a range of 1 to 7 and stated that no one is a true 1 or 7. It's a double bell-curve, meaning most reside between 1.5 and 2.5 or 5.5 to 6.5 but not all of us. So no one is all male or female, gay or straight, cissexual or transsexual, masculine or feminine. We're a unique blend of all 8 categories, which creates our perspective and colors our experiences. Because labels only allow two choices we deny incompatible aspects in order to fit one. It's like forcing a round peg in an octagonal hole. Sure, it's a close fit but not perfect.
For instance, although I identify as a straight, feminine, transsexual female I have many aspects that conflict with these identities. Although the sum of my parts represents a female, isolated traits are arguably male. While I'm sexually interested in men I also find women attractive. While I was born with external genitalia than conflict with my gender identity, my body naturally creates more estrogen than testosterone. Although I have a nurturing nature and feminine style of dress I'm also assertive and enjoy video games. If everyone was honest with themselves, we could all create a list of factors. It's not to say we don't identify with one label more than the other, but we must admit we straddle both to some extent. Once we learn to live with our dual natures the binary becomes less important.
Do I act differently around men and women? Gay and straight? Cissexual and transsexual? Of course I do, but I also acknowledge I bring a list of preconceived notions for each label and understand no one fulfills all the criteria. Therefore I don't balk at a boy in high heels and makeup when I'm at Youth First. I don't fret about being a lesbian just because I appreciate breasts. I don't expect cissexuals to be 100% comfortable in their gender, nor do I "gatekeep" the term transsexual. We are all free to label ourselves in whatever way we're most comfortable. It expresses our experience in a generalized way, but it doesn't define us. Once we realize we're free from definition we'll stop trying to enforce it onto others.
Alfred Kinsey teaches us physical sex, sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression are not binary choices but sliding scales we all reside on. He used a range of 1 to 7 and stated that no one is a true 1 or 7. It's a double bell-curve, meaning most reside between 1.5 and 2.5 or 5.5 to 6.5 but not all of us. So no one is all male or female, gay or straight, cissexual or transsexual, masculine or feminine. We're a unique blend of all 8 categories, which creates our perspective and colors our experiences. Because labels only allow two choices we deny incompatible aspects in order to fit one. It's like forcing a round peg in an octagonal hole. Sure, it's a close fit but not perfect.
For instance, although I identify as a straight, feminine, transsexual female I have many aspects that conflict with these identities. Although the sum of my parts represents a female, isolated traits are arguably male. While I'm sexually interested in men I also find women attractive. While I was born with external genitalia than conflict with my gender identity, my body naturally creates more estrogen than testosterone. Although I have a nurturing nature and feminine style of dress I'm also assertive and enjoy video games. If everyone was honest with themselves, we could all create a list of factors. It's not to say we don't identify with one label more than the other, but we must admit we straddle both to some extent. Once we learn to live with our dual natures the binary becomes less important.
Do I act differently around men and women? Gay and straight? Cissexual and transsexual? Of course I do, but I also acknowledge I bring a list of preconceived notions for each label and understand no one fulfills all the criteria. Therefore I don't balk at a boy in high heels and makeup when I'm at Youth First. I don't fret about being a lesbian just because I appreciate breasts. I don't expect cissexuals to be 100% comfortable in their gender, nor do I "gatekeep" the term transsexual. We are all free to label ourselves in whatever way we're most comfortable. It expresses our experience in a generalized way, but it doesn't define us. Once we realize we're free from definition we'll stop trying to enforce it onto others.