So confused...
What the fuck am I doing???

 Its so strange.. For most of my life I battled with a life threatening eating disorder.
It's not until now, almost a month after the break up with my "wanna be bride" that I've lost more weight then I ever have in my entire life even without trying!

Life is funny as FUCK!
God I love you!

 So tired & cold....
I am trying to turn my frown upside down, but all I see is her living happily ever after without me...

When did my fairy-tale die?
So, cold....

 Dear Diary....

I FEEL SO LOST.
I LOVE HER SO MUCH THAT AT TIMES I FEEL I CAN'T BREATH.
THE MERE THOUGHT OF NOT BEING ABLE TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH HER IS SO VERY, VERY PAINFUL...
AT TIMES I FEEL LIKE I WONT BE ABLE TO SHOW HER A BRAVE FACE, BUT I MUST TRY. SHE DESERVES SOMEONE SPECAIL AND BEAUTIFUL. AND EVERYTHING THAT I JUST CANT GIVE.
RI

 Dear diary,
It's been awhile since I've updated.... So much has happened....
I fell in love, I thought she was the one.. I've been planning the ring I was going to give to her, I saved all the money I needed.. Every night I would picture her holding me and our children... NOW... Well she doesn't like me anymore... I told myself that If I failed to ( Read more... )

1st Goal weight = 53kg or 116.6lbs
2nd Goal weight = 52kg or 114.4lbs
3rd Goal weight = 51kg or 112.2lbs
4th Goal weight = 50kg or 110lbs
5th Goal weight = 49kg or 107.8lbs

29/06/10 - Current weight = 51kg or 112.2lbs
29/06/10 - Current BMI = 19.2
Height = 163cm or 5'4

Dear diary,

It has been such a very long time since I have updated you, unfortunantly I have been distracted by my current lifestyle, of study and work.
Since we last had a chat I started back at work and became an assistant in the pre-kindy room. I also had a boyfriend whom I dumped three months later because I could no longer ignore the disgust I ( Read more... )

So... I'm back again.. Big suprise there...

hmm here are my ccurrent stats:

CW: 52kg
H: 163
BMI: 19.6

So.. Here are my new goals.

1stGW: 51kg
2ndGW: 50kg
3rdGW: 49kg
4thGW: 48KG
FinalGW: 47kg

The final weight has to be achieved by 21st birthday which is... Drum roll... 28th of May.

I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do ( Read more... )

So.. I'm back after a long, long binge. Fatter then ever, sorrier then ever.
Let me make it up to you, let me be perfect!

xo G

(p.s)
I shall post a plan tomorrow.

Exercise

10:30am = 250 Arm weights (150x arm)
11:30am =  2hours of heavy duty cleaning
4pm =

Total burnt =

Food

10am = 1 bowl of WW ice cream & berries = 93kcals
12pm = 1bowl of lentls and salad = 150kcals
2pm =
4pm =
6pm =

Total Consumed =

Extras

Consume = 500kcals p/day
Consume = 3500kcals p/week
1 Pound of fat = 3500kcals
Must burn more then = 3500kcals ( Read more... )