theres a strange tension in my house lately that i can only compare to times past that ended with me home-less ( Read more... )

i am 2halves of a second away from pulling out what remaining hair i have.
and $17.41 away from not being able to drive to school.
watercolor has drained all the creativity from me,
but on a positive note i am then filled with much more rage which i can then take out on the guitar and feel like im not procrastinating.

let me introduce myself ( Read more... )

i am tired
i am tired of lies and left out truths and misunderstandings and confusion
and now im tired of updating, the end.

leap by gigantic leap
there is less upon less here for me.
and now my question is to myself,
why do i stick around?.

and on that thought, why do i continually ignore the painstakingly obvious
i have no balls, its true.

i hate when i want to say something but its neither the time nor place to do so.
i feel stale and cyclic. i didnt want to come home tonight...so why did i?. i dont know whether i feel 16 or 80 today. routine is a drag.

was moderately successful in getting off medications. have gained weight. no longer look like junkie... so much. somehow pants still do not stay up over ass. still do not sleep but 2 hours or minutes more a night. despite bloody nose from both nostrils today combined with bloody lip, things are not as bad as they...look(ed). and this monday is ( Read more... )

the nice thing about birthdays is that you dont have to pretend to be happy because everyone else does it for you ( Read more... )

ive cut back too much too soon. yesterday i spent puking, then wretching silenty beside the greenhouse. sneaking off to find shade even though my body is shaking violently enough to make my muscles hurt today. after work i retired to the luxury of my bed, where i stayed until getting up for work this morning ( Read more... )

somewhere i got the bright idea that itd be cool (note "cool") to make a papier mache sculpture of myself, and use it to draw on for my dimensional drawing assignment. i wanted to build it with layers first so i covered my head in cling wrap and taped it all down and then put a few layers on. i remembered to cut holes for my nose but not mouth or ( Read more... )