so its the new year. yah i know im ringing it in a little late
but these things take time to get to know.
so far my worst fears #1 of 2 has happened.
number 2 i fear may be in the works.

and i turn 24 in under a month.

25 is the magic number.
113 of my 181 credits can be applied to my ba.
unfortunately not enough of the 181 are upper division art.
hence the 25.
25 more credits and i have a ba in art.

thats a year.
thats a done.

show opened last night.
pretty much our possibilities of getting on conan just went up ten times.
maybe more. maybe.
we are selling.
and people are buying it.

one of my two greatest fears in life is coming true...i fear. i am trying to prepare myself but i dont know how. i am trying to imagine bob being gone but i cant...really. ive tried staying away thinking maybe if i learn to miss him first i will miss him less when hes gone, but that backfired ( Read more... )

i just bummed a cigarette from my 17 year old cousin. it was the most disgusting stale, greatest smoke in a long time. i am too poor for smoking right now so smoking has been very limited. and by that i mean none. and now my sleeping medicine has kicked in ( Read more... )

whenever my hair starts to get long i start to get "hey...hey..you look like.........bob dylan ( Read more... )

its time to post.
its fall again, im always so thankful for fall but at the same time sad and wishing it wouldnt leave so soon for so long. it holds the same promise as spring but with a complete underlying, impending sense of doom: that is winter.

i think im done now.

i feel like such an ass, i always find myself apologizing for things that im not sorry for. "sorry" just slips through my lips before what i really mean gets a chance. its like that though, my words always betraying my thoughts and parting from a mouth that doesnt connect with my mind. its sickening. im slowly coming to terms with the ( Read more... )

tonight i remembered im alive. i didnt realize id forgotten but sometime in the past month or so it happened.
im glad thats done with now.

today feels like the paper of scrawled dreams in a cheap wine bottle floating on a river that will never lead to the ocean and its only 745 in the morning. that said, its almost time for a fosters but first cigarette number one of the day.