everything outside is wet, and the leaves are all yellowy brown, and the spanish shingles on the roof next to me are crumbling down with the seasons. and that still means YOU HAVENT GOTTEN HERE YET which means also, a few other things, i shall not speak of. because i think you know that feeling like youre hungry but you know you cant be, like you are bleeding to death and dont know why, like youre always on the brink of tears. like you know everything is impossible so why is there that fucking glimmer of hope? just come over and let me get inside you already.
her memory of you is a memory of someone else because you aren't that person...
anymore.
are you going on a trip?
you need to come spend the night at jake's sometime so you guys can paint or whatever. have "male bonding" or whatnot. because he likes you, a lot. and like, duh, so do i. and then we need to go to the valley together and have fun. because Lord knows i need some. and i need some roman, too. and some bobertson. i miss him, lots. he probably won't even like me anymore, because he won't remember who i am.
right now ellie is chasing sidecar. which is funny, but i just want it to be winter and for school to go away so i can hang out with my favourite boys in the world. just us and the stars.
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hey hey. if i ever want a pint of my own blood are you the man in the dark alley i should seek out?!?!?
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and that still means YOU HAVENT GOTTEN HERE YET
which means also,
a few other things,
i shall not speak of.
because i think you know that feeling like youre hungry but you know you cant be, like you are bleeding to death and dont know why, like youre always on the brink of tears.
like you know everything is impossible so why is there that fucking glimmer of hope?
just come over and let me get inside you already.
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in fact im sure i wasnt. odd.
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is a memory of someone else
because
you aren't that person...
anymore.
are you going on a trip?
you need to come spend the night at jake's sometime so you guys can paint or whatever.
have "male bonding" or whatnot.
because he likes you, a lot.
and like, duh, so do i.
and then we need to go to the valley together and have fun.
because Lord knows i need some.
and i need some roman, too.
and some bobertson.
i miss him, lots.
he probably won't even like me anymore, because he won't remember who i am.
right now ellie is chasing sidecar.
which is funny, but i just want it to be winter and for school to go away so i can hang out with my favourite boys in the world.
just us and the stars.
143,
alison
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