Title: Rehab
Pairing: one-sided JaeChun, broken JaeMin, YunChun
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG-13
Length: One Shot
Disclaimer: I don't own DBSK :(
A/N: This is a long overdue sequel for
A Box of Cigarette and
Addiction. Uh, warning, it's pure angst.
01.05.11 | Rehab
1.
Sometimes fate throw people together just to break them apart. It’s a cruel joke, really, because one is so in love while the other is not. Because one is holding on with all his might while the other is letting go. Because one realizes too early while the other realizes too late.
And the universe is the one getting the last laugh.
Yoochun scrolled down his BBM contacts, searching for someone, anyone. He checked his twitter followers, his MSN buddies, and phonebook earlier and found no one he felt like talking to. He needed someone to talk to, but Jaejoong was asleep and Yunho was in class. He sighed; whom should he talk to when he has no one? Had he been too attached to Yunho and Jaejoong?
He had no idea who to talk to, and it was driving him crazy. Loneliness had never been his favorite emotion.
Finally he decided on checking on his Facebook as the last option to find someone, even though it had been abandoned for quite some time. Scrolling down the homepage, he saw some updates from old friends and contemplated asking them how they are doing.
Then he saw a picture update from Jaejoong.
He was smiling ever so brightly, Changmin’s arms around his waist, and he looked at Changmin like the other meant the whole world for him. Yoochun swallowed the bitterness of the fact Jaejoong had never seen any of his exes, or even him, the way he looked at Changmin.
But Yoochun smiled at the way Changmin smiled down at Jaejoong; at least he knew the taller felt the same way as Jaejoong.
He ended up liking the picture, closing his laptop, and went to nap instead.
***
Jaejoong felt his phone vibrating on the bed next to him, but he ignored it. He needed the sleep, needed it more than he needed Yoochun. He scoffed, that was not true; he will always need Yoochun the most.
He had been having a priority crisis, torn between Yoochun, Changmin, and his ego.
Lately he had wanted to be alone, be anti-social, but he had to divide his attention between his best friend and his lover. Too, there had been rumors about him settling down with Changmin and taking off his player crown. He had been with Changmin for a little more than two years, and that’s a new record for him. His ego was a bit bruised by that.
The phone vibrated again and Jaejoong groaned, picking it up. Of course it was Yoochun.
Chuns [12:05 AM]: Sorry I just got home
Chuns [12:05 AM]: Yunho brought me a lot of balloons today :D
Chuns [12:05 AM]: My room is full of balloons x)
Jaejoong smiled, Yoochun had been so happy lately being with Yunho, but there was a pang of jealousy too. He wasn’t sure if he was jealous of Yunho or because Changmin was not that type of romantic guy to buy you chocolates and flowers.
JaeJae [12:06 AM]: Well isn’t that cute?
JaeJae [12:06 AM]: I wish Changmin would do that too
He could imagine a frown in Yoochun’s face.
Chuns [12:06 AM]: Why? I thought you’re happy with him
JaeJae [12:07 AM]: I am
JaeJae [12:07 AM]: But I’d like some attention like I used to receive from Yunho too
Jaejoong knew better, but he said it anyway. It would piss Yoochun, and even more, hurt him, but he just wanted to scar Yoochun. He needed Yoochun to hurt; needed to bruise his ego, tear down his defenses, strip him off his layers. He wanted to open Yoochun up and tell him… tell him what?
Chuns [12:08 AM]: Did you fight with Changmin?
Ah, always the most understanding person, always so tolerating. That is the reason why Yoochun is the only person who could stand Jaejoong all these times after all.
JaeJae [12:08 AM]: I didn’t~~
JaeJae [12:09 AM]: Anyway I’m happy for you ^^
Chuns [12:09 AM]: Jae :( what’s wrong?
JaeJae [12:10 AM]: nothing~
Chuns [12:10 AM]: what nothing? Annoying brat :(
JaeJae [12:10 AM]: hahaha
JaeJae [12:11 AM]: sorry, I don’t want to talk about it
Chuns [12:11 AM]: Fine, go sleep~
Chuns [12:11 AM]: Sleeping always makes you feel better
Jaejoong sighed, the problem is, as much as he needed it, sleep wouldn’t come to him. It was like he was forced to feel this miserable.
JaeJae [12:12 AM]: Fine, goodnight :)
Chuns [12:12 AM]: Loveyou :)
He bit his lip; he had grown to hate it every time Yoochun says ‘I love you’ to him. He didn’t know why but he hated it. And he wanted to hurt him, make his best friend cry, fuck his relationship up with Yunho.
Is this jealousy?
He wasn’t sure.
Holiday was a month away, meaning, introducing Changmin to Yoochun was one month away. He wasn’t sure he was ready, but what wasn’t he ready for?
He had no fucking idea why he even felt like this.
There was a knock on his window, so he lazily got off bed and opened the curtain. He looked down, and Changmin was throwing pebbles on the glass. Changmin grinned, “Wanna go out?”
Jaejoong grinned, “Let me grab my jacket!”
Thoughts of Yoochun went forgotten as he climbed down the tree outside his window and jumped down, right into Changmin’s opened arms.
***
“You did not…”
Yunho grinned, “I did.”
“Fuck!” Yoochun squealed and jumped into his boyfriend’s arms. “Fuck! Congratulations!”
Yunho laughed and kissed Yoochun. Yoochun kissed back, deepening the kiss, feeling his lover’s warmth. He had grown needy of that warmth, living off Yunho’s kisses and attentions.
“I’m so proud of you,” Yoochun pecked Yunho’s lips once again. “But then again, you’re the smartest in your class so being the best graduate is perfectly predictable. Congratulations, Mr. Lawyer.”
“Thank you,” he grinned. “And this medal is for you,” Yunho circled the gold medallion around Yoochun’s neck. “You’re my source of power after all.”
“Yunho…” Yoochun was speechless. He was smiling from ear to ear, and he had never felt this happy. He had never felt so loved. “You should keep it, it’s yours. Later you’ll need it for CVs and-”
“But you’ll be with me forever anyway, it doesn’t matter.”
Yoochun’s smile fell, but he immediately caught it before it hits the floor. “Yes, forever,” he said and kissed Yunho again. Yunho always tasted like hot vanilla latte with whip cream and chocolate granules.
“Jaejoong’s coming home next week right? Double date for celebration?” offered his boyfriend.
Yoochun swallowed, would he be able to stand the atmosphere? He sighed inwardly, wanting so desperately to make it work with Yunho, but with Jaejoong around, he wasn’t sure he could. Jaejoong can easily break his defenses down and see his pretenses.
Was it pretenses though, the happiness he felt with Yunho?
“Yeah, dinner at my place?” Yoochun decided. No matter what, he will make it work with Yunho. “I’ll cook,” he said with a smile.
***
Jaejoong fidgeted, like a dumb. He didn’t even know what he fidgeted for. Changmin noticed, frowning.
“I’m excited,” Jaejoong lied. No, he was fucking scared. What would seeing Yoochun again felt like? They hadn’t seen each other for more than two years even though they talk through BBM and Skype all the time.
“I’m sure,” Changmin smiled and leaned down to kiss Jaejoong. Jaejoong smiled against Changmin’s lips, momentarily forgetting his nerve until the elevator dinged and the door slid open.
Jaejoong took a deep breath and ring Yoochun’s bell. A minute later Yunho opened the door with a smile. Jaejoong’s heart jumped to his throat but he swallowed it and displayed Yunho his best smile.
Yoochun walked out of the kitchen and immediately ran to hug Jaejoong as soon as he saw him. Jaejoong laughed and hugged back, inhaling his best friend’s scent. Yoochun was still the same; Yoochun still fit on his body perfectly, like the other half of a heart.
Jaejoong kissed Yoochun’s forehead as the other pulled away and wiped his best friends tears. Yoochun chuckled and took Jaejoong’s hand. Neither realized the look exchanged by Changmin and Yunho. “Stop crying, you crybaby!” Jaejoong teased.
“Shut up,” Yoochun pouted and pulled Jaejoong back into his hug. “Is it so wrong to miss my bestest friend in the world?”
Jaejoong laughed and introduced Yoochun to Changmin. “The boyfriend I told you about,” he grinned and kissed Changmin’s cheek.
Yoochun smiled and shook Changmin’s hand. His heart stung, but he ignored it. One look and he could see what made Jaejoong fall for the man. Other than being gorgeous, Changmin was the type who wouldn’t let even someone like Jaejoong boss him around. “Of course, thank you for turning Jaejoong human,” Yoochun joked. Jaejoong punched his arm lightly and pouted. Yunho’s hand suddenly snaked around his waist, as if knowing Yoochun needed someone to break his fall. “And this is Yunho, my boyfriend.”
Changmin smiled and shook Yunho’s hand. Yoochun then went back to the kitchen, escaping the heartache, as Yunho entertained the two. He was cutting the carrot when arms snaked around his waist. He didn’t have to turn to know whose arms fit around him so well. “Wanna help?”
“No,” Jaejoong shook his head and place his chin on Yoochun’s shoulder. “I missed your cooking.”
“I miss your chocolate cake,” Yoochun grinned and turned around. “Set the table for me?”
Jaejoong nodded and do as told. He moved around the familiar kitchen, opening drawers he knew, setting the table like he had done so many times before. Yoochun turned the stove off and poured the soup he was cooking to the bowl. Jaejoong helped set the food on the table.
Yoochun was about to walk out of the kitchen when Jaejoong grabbed his arm. “You look happy.”
“I am happy,” Yoochun smiled. Jaejoong smiled back but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Yoochun frowned, “What’s wrong?”
“I’m…losing Changmin.”
“What?” Yoochun gasped, “But you two were-”
“I can feel it,” Jaejoong bit his lower lip.
“Jaejoong,” Yoochun grabbed his best friends shoulder and looked into his eyes. “You have to make it work.”
“I can’t.”
“You can. Make it work, Jaejoong!” Yoochun convinced him. He wanted to say it was what had gotten him that far with Yunho, that simple will to make it work. “You need to learn how to commit. Jaejoong, he’s the perfect one. Haven’t you seen how he looked at you? You can’t let it fall apart!”
Jaejoong shook his head and hugged Yoochun. Yoochun hugged back and smoothed Jaejoong’s hair. “What’s wrong with me, Chunnie? Why can’t it ever work out?”
“It can work out, you need to stop running away!” Yoochun sighed. “What are you afraid of, Jae? He loves you, and you obviously love him too!”
“Do I?” Jaejoong asked out loud. I don’t even know what I feel… the words almost slipped out.
“You do, I can see it,” Yoochun smiled. Jaejoong had never looked at any of his exes the way he looked at Changmin. And the way Jaejoong was afraid to lose Changmin had confirmed how much the taller man meant to him. Jaejoong was never afraid of severing ties before. “Go sit on the table, I’ll call the two,” Yoochun finally said.
He barely turned around when Jaejoong grabbed him and crashed their lips together. Yoochun’s eyes widened as Jaejoong deepened the kiss. He instinctively pushed Jaejoong away. “Don’t pull me into this one!” Yoochun snarled. “Fuck it Jaejoong, I’m not your property, okay? I’m your best friend!”
Jaejoong massaged the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry,” it was all he could say. He had to bit his lip to stop him from asking for another kiss.
Yoochun clicked his tongue, “That didn’t happen.”
Jaejoong nodded. “Nothing happened.”
Yoochun sighed and walked out to call Yunho and Changmin to the table. They ate normally, Jaejoong acting like nothing happened and Yoochun was more than thankful for that. His heart ached, half cursing Jaejoong for treating him like one of his nightstands, but he smiled his best to Yunho. Yunho had shot him a concerned look but Yoochun waved him off, saying he was a bit dizzy.
Close to midnight, they were all settled in Yoochun’s living room talking over their second bottle of wine. Yoochun had never been able to handle his alcohol, so he didn’t drink as much as the others. Changmin seemed to be able to control himself, being a responsible boyfriend as Jaejoong, as always, drowned himself in alcohol. Changmin and Yunho somehow had become great friends over dinner.
Yoochun excused himself to the bathroom, but Jaejoong was whining for Yoochun to take him so he did. Jaejoong leaned heavily on Yoochun as they made their way to the bathroom. As Yoochun closed the door behind him, Jaejoong slammed him into it and pinned him with his body. Yoochun was startled, but he took it as the alcohol effect.
“Jaejoong, stop,” Yoochun pushed the latter but Jaejoong wouldn’t budge.
“Yoochun…” Jaejoong pouted. “Kiss me.”
“No,” Yoochun sighed, “You’re drunk and our boyfriends are outside.”
Jaejoong didn’t care; he pressed his lips against Yoochun anyway, kissing him deeply. Yoochun gave up, thinking he might as well enjoy kissing Jaejoong because he knew it would be their last. He wouldn’t let Jaejoong rule after him like this, not anymore.
“I-” love you, Jaejoong thought as he pulled away. He frowned at his own thought; he loves Yoochun?
Oh my God, he does.
Yoochun took the frown mistakenly; thinking Jaejoong thought the kiss was a mistake. “You’re drunk,” he sighed pushed Jaejoong away.
“No, Chunnie-” Jaejoong reasoned, trying to tell Yoochun how stupid he was.
He was stupid, really, idiotic even. It took him 2 years of not seeing each and a bottle of wine to realize he was in love with Yoochun all along. The kiss wasn’t a mistake, he tried to convey but nothing came out of his mouth, his thoughts too tangled, making his head spin.
And he was too late, Yoochun is with someone else.
“Sssh,” Yoochun shut him up lovingly and pulled him into a hug. “I know you’re probably stressed about Changmin, but open your eyes, he loves you. I don’t have to worry about you anymore when you’re with him. Stay with Changmin, Jae, for me at least…”
Well, fuck.
Jaejoong nodded and buried his face on Yoochun’s shoulder, “I’ll try?”
***
2.