Addictive Obsession ~ Chapter Eighteen | part one
Title: Addictive obsession
Authors: aroruae & fighter_of_moon
Pairing: Akame, slight Kokame & Jinda
Genre: Smut, AU, drama, tragedy
Warnings: use of drugs, whoring, slaving, insanity, bad language, incest and a lot more to come xD You've been warned, so don't read if you don't want to see them in a lot of pain *evil laugh*
Disclaimer: They don't belong to us, but we're in the process of making it true!! The proof is Jin's twitter~
Summary: Kazuya’s addiction becomes Jin’s obsession. They came to need each other to the extend of wanting to kill.
First Scent ~ Strawberry
Second Scent ~ Poison
Third Scent ~ Musk
Fourth Scent ~ Ecstasy
Fifth Scent ~ Spring
Sixth Scent ~ Fear
Seventh Scent ~ Sky
Eighth Scent ~ Winter
Ninth Scent ~ Loneliness
Tenth Scent ~ Run
Eleventh Scent ~ You
Twelfth Scent ~ Statice
Thirteenth Scent ~ Body
Fourteenth Scent ~ Memory
Fifteenth Scent ~ Toxic
Sixteenth Scent ~ Narcotic
Seventeenth Scent ~ Hollow
Chapter eighteen
Eighteenth Scent ~ Mother
Life is hard but maybe that’s why it’s called life. You’ll always have difficulties in obtaining what you want or who you want, but this doesn’t mean that it’s impossible. Just because it’s life, we can try and succeed in accomplishing our dreams. We can try, do our best and fail and sometimes feel the bitter taste of defeat, sometimes feel proud that we did all that we could even if the result isn’t anything concrete. It’s the experience that matters because when you fall, you remember where you trip so that next time you can do better and avoid that place. When you lose, you’ll know exactly what you did wrong and next time everyone will cheer you as the champion.
Life’s hard but we are humans. We rule it so we can’t let ourselves be defeated by it so easily.
It had only been two days since Koki and Ueda had made an appearance at Jin’s house and things seemed to have become a little quieter around Jin and Kazuya. The latter seemed to have changed after this experience, now trying really hard to fight his addiction and help Jin with his task. It was more horrible than ever because now that Kazuya was decided to fight them with any cost, Jin had faith in him that he won’t try to do anything to escape and he chose to let him free around the house, even if this happened only when Jin was home too. It had worked fine for a while but soon Kazuya crashed and started to beg for someone to end the enormous pain that he was feeling. Jin had been right there, next to him, trying to calm him down and holding the younger in his arms, whispering soothing words at his ear with a small smile on his lips.
Because Kazuya wasn’t asking for drugs anymore, but for help. And this made all the difference in the world.
Still, things couldn’t be ended like that, especially after what Ueda and Koki had witnessed in Jin’s house. The older still couldn’t forget that the two of them had broken into his house with the key that Jin had once given to Ueda - he had been too lazy to answer the door - and hadn’t taken back.
And now it was time, Jin thought, as he rang the bell to Ueda’s apartment, waiting nervously in front of it. Kazuya was home and Pi was watching him in case that something would happen, but Jin wasn’t really relaxed and kept fidgeting as he waited for the door to open.
And when it did, Ueda looked surprised at his guest, momentarily frozen and not knowing how to react. He quickly recovered though and stood aside, inviting Jin in his house. But the smile he’d always show to Jin wasn’t there and it was no good sign. He was a bit tensed as he took Jin into his living, silence falling over them. Usually, he would have been thrilled to have Jin again in his house, but after what happened he wasn’t so sure. And besides… he didn’t even know why Jin came. But Ueda would find out.
“What can I do for you?” he asked on a relaxed tone, though you could see that his whole body was tensed and alert. And no one could blame him.
“I’m not going to hurt you.” Were the first words Jin had said as he looked at Ueda and bit his tongue. He had no idea what to say or to do to make the older trust him again, at least that he was not a monster set up to destroy Kazuya’s friends. He felt a little disappointed because he could still feel his heart beating a little faster as Ueda had confessed his love to him. That had been the first time Jin had really wanted to love someone back.
Ueda chuckled darkly. “I’m relieved then.” He said, but he still looked tensed. “Then this means that I’m not on the same level as Kazuya’s other friends?” he then asked, looking carefully at Jin. He was curious what his place was in front of the man he loved.
“I told you last time.” Jin said with a small smile. “You’re special, for me and for anyone that has the chance to meet you.” He confessed, clearing his throat a little and looking away from Ueda. “You know I only hit Koki because he attacked me first.” He then added, not really in the mood to talk about their last discussion.
Ueda finally smiled, a faint blush coloring his cheeks. “You attacked him because of Kazuya, there’s no fault of Koki in here.” He then said with a sigh. “I…” he paused a little before clearing his throat and continued his idea. “You’ve lost your head over him.” Ueda said with an unmistakenable sad voice.
“I haven’t lost my head, I…” Jin growled, frustrated that there were so many things to be said and he didn’t know which to start with. Besides, these were things that he wasn’t allowed to tell, not without Kazuya knowing and the younger didn’t even know that he was there. “I was just trying to protect him.” he finally said. “Look, I know things were looking bad, but I’d never hurt Kazuya.” He hurried to say, fearing that Ueda will misunderstood him.
“But you weren’t exactly loving him either.” Ueda said carefully. “Jin, you were suffocating him when we came in.” he continued, the image of his friend straddled and tied up by Jin who had a pillow over his face vivid in his mind. “Is this how you protect someone?” Ueda asked, biting his lower lip as his voice shook a little. There was disappointment in it.
“I said it just looked bad,” Jin repeated, “but I was just trying to make him shut up while I tied him to the bed.” One beat. “Okay, that didn’t sound too good either.” He continued, ruffling his hair in frustration while he turned around on the spot a couple of times. “He was hurting himself and I didn’t know what else to do than to tie him up to stop him from causing more damage. You saw how my house looked when you came in. He did all of that and many others things. I just had to…” he stopped to breathe, realizing that he had said too much already and Ueda could put the pieces together by himself.
The older man sighed and looked down at the floor. Should he believe Jin? All he said seemed to suit his attitude from two days ago perfectly well, but wasn’t it all made up? Still, Kazuya mentioned drugs too after Jin accused him of addiction. Where lied the truth?! Ueda was feeling confused and he really didn’t know what to believe. Still… if Jin was indeed lying, then why had he come all the way here to talk with Ueda about it? To ease his guilt? To prove his innocence?
“If what you say is true…” he said slowly. “…if he was hurting himself, then why didn’t you get a specialist? Someone who could really handle all this?” Ueda asked, curious about this peculiar behavior. He won’t ask about the drugs, there have been enough rumors back at school to come up with a story that fit all the details he had found out without even asking.
“Please,” Jin snorted, “do you really think Kazuya would do that?” he asked, looking once again at Ueda. “I barely managed to convince him to let me help him. He would have never accepted help from outside.”
“After what I saw, I think I barely know Kazuya.” Ueda laughed sarcastically. “And you… you forced him.” He added, gulping a little. “Have you done this to him before?” he asked, referring to the time when Jin had pinned Kazuya to the wall and later when he forcefully kissed the boy.
“Force him what? To do what I want?” Jin scoffed. “That’s how we met and that was our relationship at first. We just had a deal in which each one of us took what we wanted.” He confessed, thinking that it wouldn’t be that much of a mistake to tell Ueda some little details about his relationship with Kazuya. “I never forced him to have sex with me if that’s what you were referring to.” He added, cocking an inquiring eyebrow at the older.
“You had a deal?” Ueda asked incredulously. “And where did love come in all this?” he laughed a little confused. “God.” He muttered to himself as he lowered his eyes.
“Well, love wasn’t in my plans, to be honest.” Jin laughed as he finally dared to take a few steps forward and approached Ueda a little, thinking that it might be safe now. “This was the last thing on my mind, I just wanted to have fun, to have sex and not care about anything.” He shrugged a little as he stopped at one step in front of the older. “It just happened.”
Like it did to me, Ueda thought bitterly, but he chose not to comment on this, feeling a little uncomfortable with Jin’s closeness. “It always seems to happen like this, isn’t it?” He looked up at Jin, he sitting down at the table. “How’s Kazuya?” he chose to change the subject, love not being his most favorite now.
“He’s fine now and he looks a little better.” Jin smiled, taking another seat at the table, on the opposite part of Ueda. He bit his lower lip and looked uncertainly at the other one, trying to decide if he should ask too. “How’s Koki?” he finally said, thinking that it might be good to bring some good news home to Kazuya. Of course, this could also remind Ueda of how violent could Jin be and throw him out of the house, but he risked it anyway.
“He’s okay, looking purple, green and yellow… but he’s tough and he’ll recover fast.” Ueda said, trying to joke a little, but the slight frown from his forehead showed his worry. “He’s sulking over the fact that Kazuya didn’t want to come with us when we went to the hospital.” He added, smiling sadly. “He’s angry that Kazuya listens to you…” he said in an undertone, as if he was unsure if he should say this or not.
“Of course, Kazuya is my lover after all.” Jin stated happily and with a proud expression, puffing his chest as in admiration for the younger’s decision.
“Do you call this being lovers?” Ueda arched an eyebrow, wearing a mocking expression.
“What do you mean?” Jin’s eyes darkened, not understanding where was Ueda planning to go with this.
“Don’t get me wrong… but, Jin, your relationship isn’t normal.” Ueda sighed and stretched his hand to touch slightly Jin’s shoulder. “I doubt that any of you know what a true lover means…” he said, sounding as if he was pitying them.
“So what?” Jin snapped, brushing off Ueda’s hand. “Are you implying that I’m just imagining that I love Kazuya when in fact I don’t really know what love is?!” he asked with a reproachful tone, looking intensively at Ueda.
The older man flinched at Jin’s sudden reaction, though he had seen it coming. “I’m not saying that you don’t love Kazuya, it’s just that …you two hurt each other!” Ueda tried to explain, but somehow he felt that Jin won’t understand that easily. “Your love is hurting you and that’s not… how it should be.” He concluded looking sad.
“Love is all about ups and down.” Jin simply replied. “I’m happy just being with Kazuya, while you’re the one hurt by your love.” He said, realizing his words only after he said them.
Ueda blinked once, twice as he finally allowed himself a smile. “You’re right, but at least I’m not afraid of losing the loved one because he doesn’t return my feelings back.” He shot back, poison on his tongue and hurt in his eyes.
“I’ve already lost Kazuya once and I let him free because he wanted that.” Jin answered, leaving his chair and walking towards Ueda to stop in front of his chair. “You should know this better, seeing as you were the one who took his place in my bed.” He said with a smile, tilting his head a little and battling his eyelashes innocently. He was starting to get annoyed by this whole conversation. Ueda didn’t have the right to judge him! No matter how much he had meant for Jin, he was nothing in comparison with Kazuya!
The color in Ueda’s eyes darkened and his expression shut completely. “So it’s thanks to me that you didn’t go and force him to come back to you?” he said with a scoff. “And weren’t you two back then just friends? How could you have lost him?” Ueda asked mockingly, though he suddenly thought that if Kazuya had wanted to be free from Jin that meant they were having a relationship way before?! What was going on here? Did Jin and Kazuya sleep together even when Jin was first introduced to them?! Or had Jin forced himself upon Kazuya? Again… where did the truth lie?
“Ueda, my relationship with Kazuya had been difficult from the start.” Jin said knowingly. “And you don’t have the right to judge me or him when you don’t know the whole story.” He added, looking at the older with accusing eyes. “You didn’t want your friends to know that you’re gay and they don’t know that you’ve slept with me.” He reminded Ueda with a reproachful tone. “Why should have Kazuya told you anything about us?” he then proceeded to ask, looking a little impatient and angry and maybe a little hurt too.
Jin had a point in this, yet it still didn’t make him any less innocent in all this mess. “I didn’t say anything about Kazuya hiding your true relationship. I was talking about you and your love for Kazuya.” Ueda sighed a bit tired. “And I am certainly not judging you; I’m merely expressing my opinion based on what I saw and heard from you.” He looked at Jin, seemingly understanding.
"Tatsuya, you knew from the beginning what I feel for Kazuya." Jin sighed, thinking of the first night they had met without Kazuya and Jin had told Ueda that he wasn't up for a relationship. He had only done that because Ueda was Kazuya's friend, but he had never expected to have the older fall for him. "Other than this, I didn't tell you anything so please refrain from jumping to conclusions based on snippets of my life." he scolded the other one, looking yet again accusingly at him and feeling stupid for acting like this.
Ueda arched an eyebrow before looking away with a mocking smirk. “You seem to listen only what you find convenient for you.” He said rising from where he was sitting. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter.” He waved a hand, apparently annoyed at something. “Tell me why you came here because it’s certain that you didn’t come to talk about your love life or my feelings for you.” Ueda said as he turned at Jin with a cold and indifferent expression. Well, at least he wasn’t beating around the bush like Jin apparently liked to do.
Jin took the older's example and moved a little to stop yet again in front of Ueda, looking at him with blank eyes. "I came because I want back the keys from my apartment." he said, his voice wavering a little but not enough to be noticed. Maybe it was better to just get it, leave the hell out of there and never see Ueda again.
Of course he’d come after the keys, why else? Ueda mused as he went past Jin and exited the room, returning then with the key. “Here.” He said and handed the object to Jin. “I’m not sorry for making a copy, just so you know.” Ueda said, stubbornness and defiance in every feature of his.
"I didn't say you should be." Jin replied, sounding a little upset, but refraining to add that Ueda should actually be sorry for breaking into his house the last time to save Kazuya, not when he used to come just for sex. "But it's better this way." he continued, his eyes fixed on Ueda's as if he was waiting for a challenge.
“What is better?” Ueda asked, lifting his chin up in defiance. “Me out of your life?” he asked with a scoff, though there was something similar with hurt in his eyes.
"Yes." Jin answered without flinching. "It's better for me, for you, for Kazuya. For everyone." he concluded with a firm tone.
Ueda laughed. “You bastard.” He muttered as he covered his eyes, trying to recompose himself, to calm down the beating of his bleeding heart. “Get out.” He muttered, not even looking at Jin. “I hope Kazuya won’t say the same to you.” Ueda added and since Jin didn’t move, he left the living room and the sound of a door slamming announced the other that Ueda had retreated in his bedroom.
The younger sighed and waited for a couple of minutes, his gaze set on the door. When he finally realized what he was doing, Jin got mad on himself and hurried to leave Ueda's apartment, trying to lie to himself that it didn’t matter to him.
But it did.
*
We all have wishes. We wish to grow up, we wish to be taller, we wish to have the courage to talk with that cute neighbor that haunts our mind since we first saw the whole family moving next to us. Some of us wish to be richer and travel all around the world with the money we’d won at the lottery, while others wish to be poor and to leave the spotlight that has destroyed their entire life. People are different so it’s natural that our wishes are different too.
But what can we do when we hear a little child wishing for some bread? What should we do if we meet an old man who wishes to die because he’s been abandoned by his whole family? If we find a sad little girl who had been abused by everyone she knows and then dumped like a used cloth?
What should we think if there are some of us who wish to never meet their parents ever again?
Maybe… here’s nothing we can do. Words can’t help them. Money even less. But if we try to just be there for them… we’ll see that we can work out miracles together.
The sun had risen since a long time ago but Jin still couldn’t find his sleep. Things had been wonderful with Kazuya and he’d be lying if he said that he didn’t enjoy Kazuya’s extra attention. It was like the younger would never get enough of him, like he couldn’t live without Jin anymore. The older had no idea what had triggered this change in Kazuya, but he welcomed it with his arms wide open and with a smile on his lips. He had been surprised the first night when Kazuya had showed up at his door and had simply attacked him with his kisses - especially when the same day had been the first one that the older one had been confident enough to let Kazuya leave on his own and go back to his apartment - but Jin wasn’t one to back down from such a thing. Instead, he had accepted it like it was something normal and he hadn’t asked any questions about what made Kazuya come to Jin’s apartment when the latter had just left from Kazuya’s.
He had thought that it was just a coincidence. A coincidence that had repeated itself every night since then. Jin had become used to leave Kazuya’s apartment and come home only to expect the younger a few hours later. In some nights, he had chosen to spend the night at Kazuya’s apartment to stop the boy from walking around at night and especially in the dangerous neighborhood that Jin lived in. Some other times, they had come back at Jin’s apartment together, stopping for a little mid-night snack and then going straight to bed.
Needless to say that every night had ended with the two of them having sex, but what was weird was that Kazuya had been the one to start it every time. Jin wasn’t complaining about this either, but… he had to admit that it was a little weird. And after he had talked with someone, he had come to the conclusion that Kazuya had taken Jin’s proposal literally and had replaced the drugs with sex with Jin. It wasn’t bad, but… this didn’t mean that the younger had gotten rid of his addiction.
And he’ll never do it this way.
Jin entered Kazuya’s room and smiled when he saw the younger sleeping naked and hugging one pillow at his chest. He quietly approached him and sat on the bed, trying to not wake him up. He had always believed this, but as each day passed by, Jin realized more and more how beautiful Kazuya really was. He couldn’t get enough of him and he was sure that he’d be able to stare at him for a whole week without doing anything else. He especially loved his brown eyes, Jin thought as he gently touched them with the top of his fingers, which would look at him scared sometimes, uncertain but somehow in the same time full with peace and calmness and maybe confidence too. He loved Kazuya’s eyes which would look at him in a taunting way, making Jin feel butterflies in his stomach and shivers all over his skin. He loved Kazuya’s lips - he thought and let his hand move towards them, circling the boy’s lips with a light touch - which would curl up in a smirk when he’d want to tease Jin and would shyly smile when he was embarrassed by something.
“Kazuya…”
He loved Kazuya’s voice when the younger would whisper words in his ear or when he’d demand something, defying Jin and opposing the older. It didn’t matter that this meant they’d end up in a fight yet again. Jin loved everything about Kazuya.
There was something tickling his face, Kazuya thought sleepily, making him feel like he was caressed with love and gentleness. He smiled against Jin’s fingers and sighed contentedly, shifting a little, though he more like threw his legs over the pillow, hugging it tighter. The coolness of it made him shiver a little, but the smile never disappeared. In the dim light of the room, his pinky ring shone brighter than ever.
“Jin…” Kazuya muttered against the pillow, cuddling with it, unaware that the real person was standing next to him and watching.
Jin chuckled amused and let his fingers roam further on Kazuya’s skin, softly touching his chin and going lower on his neck and chest, taking totally advantage that the younger was naked and covered only with a thin sheet. “Good morning, love.” He murmured against Kazuya’s lips, nibbling gently on them and using just his lips to feel the younger’s sweet taste.
Kazuya’s eyes fluttered open and looked through a daze at Jin who was leaning above him. Huh? Weren’t they again on that beach where they had made love with the sunset in the background? Apparently not, cause they were in Jin’s room and the older was kissing him. Kazuya let go of the pillow, stretched a little before his arms flung around Jin’s neck, smiling in their morning kiss.
“Morning.” He muttered with a husky voice, wearing a fluffy and sleepy face. “Have you brought me breakfast?” Kazuya asked, half opening his eyes.
“It will be done in a couple of minutes.” Jin replied with a soft smile, not being able to keep himself from continuing to nibble on Kazuya’s lips from time to time. “I came to wake you up.” He added, detaching himself from his lover and sitting up to leave, knowing that if he stayed any longer, he won’t leave anymore.
But Kazuya rose quickly and caught Jin’s wrist, pulling him back in bed, this time on top of him. “Silly. Who mentioned anything about food?” the younger purred and held Jin into his arms, not letting him go away. “You…” Kazuya pecked Jin’s lips. “…are…” then he licked them briefly. “…my…” he bit onto his lower lip, his eyes never leaving Jin’s. “…breakfast.” Kazuya ended and kissed Jin fully, forcing him a little to open his mouth, slipping his tongue inside and torturing the older with it.
“Hmm…” Jin sighed into the kiss, moving a little to settle better on top of Kazuya, straddling him and using his hands to stay a little above the younger, their bodies barely touching. He answered to the kiss but gave Kazuya control of their lips, leaving him to decide whether to torture Jin or to make him feel good. “If I remember correctly, I was also your dinner.” He said while taking a deep breath and tilting his head to give Kazuya better access to his mouth.
“You sure?” Kazuya replied and pulled Jin closer, not liking the distance between their bodies. “Then I was clearly not fully satiated.” He replied, his eyes twinkling with maliciousness as his tongue traced Jin’s lips before plunging again inside the older’s mouth. “And now I want an extra large breakfast.” Kazuya added, pulling Jin’s tongue out with his teeth and sucking on it with his lips.
Jin couldn’t suppress a moan this time as their bodies touched and Kazuya did something with his tongue which drove Jin mad and made him lose the little control he desperately tried to have. “I’ll give you more than that.” He said, knowing that he could never resist Kazuya and he’ll never be able to say no to him, not when he was acting like this. He took control of the kiss this time, kissing Kazuya in a demanding and maddening way, asking for more and not giving anything back. He sucked on his lips, tongue and their teeth clashed into a forceful kiss, full of desire and lust and both of them wanting for more and never having enough of the other. He supported his body on one of his hands and lifted it to dispose of the sheets that were covering the boy, letting his hand after to gently caress Kazuya’s neck, while the other proceeded to touch the feverish skin with harsh moves, scratching the younger’s body and marking it as Jin’s as it did numerous times before.
Kazuya chuckled softly, arching against Jin’s touch, enjoying the passion he managed to arouse in Jin. Not that it took much effort, but each time he felt Jin surrender to him it made him feel in control, it made him feel good. His hands clutched on Jin’s shoulders before slowly relaxing and making their way to his hair, gripping the locks tightly as he pulled the older into a fiercer kiss. There was so much desire in the way their bodies grinded and how their hands roughly touched - too much that made Kazuya’s mind soar over pink clouds and pleasure bursting all around him. And when he felt that he was getting too excited, Kazuya realized that it was better to stop.
So he steadied their wild kiss, bringing it to a gentle and mild touch of lips and tongues, as his hands searched for Jin’s and laced their fingers together. “Thank you.” Kazuya murmured against Jin’s lips, opening his eyes and looked at a flushed and lustful Jin. “I’ll keep the rest for lunch.” He added and smiled satisfied. He hoped that Jin won’t complain about the sudden stop.
“You got to be kidding me!!” was Jin’s first answer as he raised his body a little to look at Kazuya. “Kazuyaaaa…” he whined, frustrated that the younger wanted to stop exactly at this point. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” he then pouted, pursing his lips and puffing his cheeks to show how upset he was over this.
Kazuya hoped too much sometimes, but he laughed at Jin’s cute expression. “Of course I enjoy teasing you.” He replied and pushed Jin gently so that he could pull up the sheets over his naked body. “Besides, I want you to be more lustful when I’ll eat you tonight.” Kazuya leaned over Jin and pecked his lips, wearing a mischievous smile. “I’ll have more fun this way.”
“You’ll have fun, but what about me?!” he continued to sulk over the matter, now lying in bed next to Kazuya and crossing his arms over his chest.
Kazuya frowned a bit. “You’ll have fun too.” He stated with a small chuckle. “Or are you telling me that you’re dissatisfied with our latest sex life?” The younger cocked an eyebrow, leaning back on his legs. He wore an expression that said tell otherwise and you’ll be without sex for a month.
Jin just continued to pout, completely oblivious to everything. “If you keep leaving me like this,” he said, pointing with his index finger at his slightly visible crotch, “then, yes, I’ve very unsatisfied. Actually, I really ain’t satisfied right now. At all.” He added, thinking that Kazuya was denying him what was rightfully his. He couldn’t say he didn’t enjoy this game though.
Kazuya smiled sweetly before he pressed his palm on Jin’s member, pushing on it gently. “If that’s so…” he said on a deceitful tone, looking straight at Jin as his fingers curled around the material where underneath it, Jin’s cock reacted to Kazuya’s sudden action. “…how about not having sex for a while?” The younger narrowed his eyes as he scratched with his finger the length covered by the material. “I’m sure you’ll be very satisfied then, right?” Kazuya singsonged and took his hand away, turning his back on Jin, ready to climb down from the bed but only to be stopped by the other one and brought back right into his arms.
“I’d go mad without you for such a long time.” Jin whispered into Kazuya’s ear, pressing his body into the younger’s and holding him from behind, his hands entwined above Kazuya’s navel. “I already feel like I’m losing my mind if you just say that.” He added on the same low tone, softly licking Kazuya’s ear and desperately trying to bring him closer.
Yet Kazuya didn’t give into Jin’s actions and kept his indifferent façade. “But if you’re dissatisfied with me, how can you go mad without me?” the younger asked with a slight shrug, though he quivered a little when Jin won’t stop brushing his lips against his ear and neck. “You’ve been getting too much, maybe this is the problem. So… we’ll cut it to none.” He continued with a calm and cool voice as if he was talking about the weather.
“But I’m not satisfied because you don’t let me have what I want.” Jin whined on a soft tone, not giving up at his administrations and changing his position on the bed, spreading his legs and pulling Kazuya between them to keep him close better. His fingers started to play on Kazuya’s chest, slowly climbing up and playfully touching the younger’s nipples, drawing back and then coming back again to tease them with harsh pinches and gentle caresses. “I’m satisfied as long as I get to fuck you though.” He confessed, letting his tongue show his lust and circling Kazuya’s ear, biting it and sucking on it, his voice lower now and more aroused than earlier.
Kazuya gripped the sheets and bit onto his lower lip, suppressing his own passion from bursting again. “You can fuck later how much you want…” He replied with a heavy voice, wondering how the hell did they always manage to get into such situations? “But now… let’s go and eat, I’m hungry.” Kazuya muttered on a low voice, turning to look at Jin. There was a smile hanging in the corner of his lips.
Jin smirked and leaned over Kazuya, breathing against his lips. “But what about my breakfast?” he asked teasingly, wanting the same food that Kazuya had requested in the first place. He didn’t wait for an answer and just caught the younger’s lips into a kiss, sucking on them with an increasing hunger and desire, his arms tightening their hold on the boy as Jin brought their bodies as close as he could, devouring Kazuya’s mouth and feeling like it was not enough. It will never be.
Kazuya moaned in their kiss and fell limp all of a sudden. Yes, he wanted more too, he wanted Jin with his whole being but lately he had been a bit reckless. He was relying too much on Jin and the way he made him feel… he was giving too much into lust. Nevertheless, he still answered to Jin, his own tongue sliding deeper and deeper into the other’s mouth. He had to feel Jin more so he caressed the older’s hip, touching whatever he could reach from that position. Kazuya smiled into the kiss as his hand settled on Jin’s ass, groping and caressing it with teasing fingers. As their tongues brushed against each other, feeling the wetness and the fire it brought, Kazuya couldn’t suppress another moan which was quickly swallowed by the lustful Jin.
Soon the need of air had them parted and Kazuya was panting slightly against Jin’s lips and his hand was still skimming over Jin’s ass, teasing and playing with the material. He looked at Jin and his eyes sparked with desire in that momentary lock of their eyes. “Your breakfast will be the same portion as mine.” The younger said and gave a small pinch to his ass.
Jin yelped and looked at Kazuya with an angry expression which quickly faded and was replaced by a naughty one. “You started this.” He reminded Kazuya as he brought their lips together and engaged into another demanding kiss, keeping his eyes open and looking at the younger and telling him with his eyes that he was not going to back down, even less if Kazuya was at fault for making him horny.
Jin was just too stubborn sometimes.
Kazuya’s eyes sparkled with determination and desire as he stared back at Jin. But even so, he was still the most stubborn person on planet and he had his ways of persuading the older one even if it seemed almost impossible. And now it wasn’t a game of lust and passion, it was a game of who was more stubborn and who will win over such a passionate situation. And Kazuya loved to win, that’s why he shifted his body now facing Jin and never ending their kiss. It was a battle of tongues, teeth, lips, limbs and bodies until Kazuya managed to straddle the older, his hands entrapping Jin’s and holding them on each side of his head as he lowered his body, brushing slowly against Jin’s. The younger smiled as he grinded into the other’s body, his crotch meeting the other one, bumping slowly and teasing into it, creating friction. He watched with delight how Jin closed his eyes, suppressing a moan.
Kazuya broke their kiss as he began to trace with his lips the jaw line of Jin’s, biting gently onto the skin. “You like this, right?” he gave a roll of his hips, keeping steady Jin’s arms who twitched with wanting to touch the younger. “And I have more…” Kazuya’s words echoed as he proceeded to suck onto the older one’s neck, leaving behind small red butterflies, his trademark for hickeys. Then he lowered himself even more, his tongue teasing the collarbone as his tongue nibbled on the skin. Kazuya looked at Jin and smirked devilishly as he got hold of his lover’s hands, using just one of his to pin them above the older’s head, the other one being free to lift his shirt and touch the burning skin underneath. “Are you enjoying your breakfast, my love?” The younger asked with a purr as he blew some hot air over Jin’s now revealed nipples.
“Madly.” Jin answered with a strained voice, feeling all of a sudden hot and crazy and lustful and yet hot again. Kazuya’s lips and hands were making him go wild and lose his mind and he started to believe that he won’t be able to keep quiet for long and let Kazuya do his game. As soon as this thought entered his mind, Jin freed his hands and settled them on the younger’s waist, turning them around with a fast move and pinning Kazuya to the bed this time, his legs wide spread and letting Jin stand between them. The older continued to kiss his lover, taking fully advantage of the fact that Kazuya was still naked to kiss him all over his skin and to bite him hungrily, leaving marks where his teeth touched the skin.
“I’ll never get tired of you,” Jin whispered, placing now gentle kisses on Kazuya’s left nipple, “of your body,” he continued as he bit it and circled it with his tongue, “or the way it arches under my touch.” He finished with a smirk and detached himself from the younger as quickly and unpredictable as he had attacked the boy, standing up and still looking at Kazuya with a devilish smile. “Thanks for the breakfast.” He said, tilting his head a little and trying to recover his breath even if it seemed kind of hard for the moment as Kazuya was still standing in front of him and… well, being naked.
Surprised and caught open like that, Kazuya couldn’t suppress a throaty laugh as he leaned against the headboard, following Jin with his malicious eyes. “You’re welcome.” He said on a husky voice and he brought a finger to his wet and reddened lips. “But…” his tongue darted out and curled around his finger. “…are you sure you had enough?” he asked, taking his finger into his mouth and settled himself a little bit more comfortable and more accessible to Jin’s touch. He continued to look at Jin with big and round eyes, almost as if he was innocent and wasn’t doing a finger fellatio right now.
Jin gulped but he didn’t tear his gaze away from Kazuya, continuing to watch him, his eyes fixed on the younger’s finger while his mouth slightly opened, like he wanted to be the one to touch Kazuya like that. He slowly approached the bed yet again and stopped when his feet touched it, taking his time watching Kazuya and gulping some more, trying to regain his breath and to control his cock. He put a hand on the bed and leaned down as if he wanted to climb on it, only to grab the sheets and throw them over Kazuya, covering the younger completely.
Now he could take a deep breath, Jin thought as he allowed himself to laugh a little with a mocking voice. “I’ll go bring our breakfast, love.” He chirped happily and he quickly left the room, not sparing another glance at Kazuya.
The younger moved his head under the sheets as if trying to see through them before quickly removing them. He smiled as he saw the empty room and thought that he had lost spectacularly in their little game of stubbornness, seeing as he never got to play his card. Well, Jin too lost in a way, Kazuya mused as he got out of bed and looked for his clothes, ignoring the desire pulsing through his lower part. He had plenty of time to release it afterwards, now it was better to enjoy a calm and relaxed breakfast.
After ten minutes, Jin returned to the room bringing a tray filled with toasted bread, strawberry jam, pancakes and some tea. The funny part of it was the red rose on it; Kazuya couldn’t help but to smile. He was still lying on the bed - though now fully dressed - and waited for Jin to come closer. As the older finally set the tray on the bed looking awfully smug, Kazuya rose a bit and gave a small peck on his cheek.
“Thanks.” He said and lifted the rose. “For the flower I mean.” He smiled devilishly as he inhaled the rose’s scent. Then without much further ado, he proceeded to eat though the sweetness of this breakfast made his teeth hurt a little. Lucky for him that the tea was the black type, so it balanced the sweetness quite a lot.
A quarter of hour later, the tray was empty, both of them lying lazily on the bed, their fingers laced together. Kazuya couldn’t help but to feel at peace as he hadn’t been in a long time. But, then again, peace can never last long, not even in wars.
“Kazuya?” Jin called his name with an uncertain tone, glancing at the younger and pretending that he wasn’t doing that.
“Hmm?” Kazuya hummed, too lazy and too self-absorbed to feel Jin’s uncertainty. He had his eyes closed and he was smiling.
Jin shifted on the bed and took a deep breath as he prepared himself for what he was about to say. He thought that there’ll never be a better moment so he just had to take his chance and deal later with the consequences. “I want to talk to you.” He said with a serious tone. “And I know that you won’t like it, but please think at it and try to understand that it’s for your own good. Just listen to me and don’t get mad, okay?” he babbled fast as he raised himself a little to stand in front of the boy.
Kazuya opened his eyes and felt his heart starting to beat faster. He looked at Jin and felt the heavy atmosphere the older one had settled with his words; therefore he also stood up facing Jin. “O-okay…” he stuttered a little and hated himself for this lack of confidence in himself. But here goes nothing.
“Kazuya, I’ve told you that I’ll help you give up at drugs.” Jin started, looking into the younger’s eyes and trying to not even blink. “And you’ve done wonderfully until now, you’re starting to get rid of this addiction once and for all.” He said with a smile. “I couldn’t be any prouder of you, Kazuya.” He confessed and leaned over the boy to place a cast kiss on his forehead.
Kazuya looked down and sighed heavily. “Get to the point, Jin.” He asked, feeling that he didn’t want to hear praises for his well behavior regarding drugs or to remind himself of the price he had had to pay. He still hadn’t contacted Koki.
Jin took a deep breath for the second time before he finally said his wish. “I was thinking that you should maybe face your fears.” He said, staring Kazuya with his eyes. He then quickly added, even if it was already obvious. “To face your mother.”
Though there wasn’t the visible and striking reaction as the first time Jin had mentioned his mother and a possible encounter, Kazuya’s face still paled and his eyes were now two closed windows. “No.” he said with a rasp voice, averting his eyes away from Jin. He looked at the wall, being simpler to stare at the empty white color than to Jin’s dark chocolate eyes. He could never face his fears straight headed like Jin would, he’ll never be able to.
“Kazuya, please.” Jin begged, moving closer to him and catching the younger’s chin with two of his fingers, forcing him to look again at Jin. “You need this and you know it. You’ll never be able to be free if you don’t do this.” He tried to convince the boy, perfectly aware of how hard it will be. “You’ll live your whole life like this and you can’t keep relying on sex to forget about everything!!” he now proceeded to scold the boy, showing him that he had known all the time what was Kazuya trying to do.
Kazuya’s eyes steeled and he slapped Jin’s hand away. “I didn’t hear you complain about this.” He cocked an eyebrow and smirked ironically. “Even if I face my fears, I’ll never be free.” Kazuya tilted his head, not regretting saying such things even if he understood the meaning of it. And he kind of hoped Jin did too.
The older’s eyes darkened for a moment but it disappeared quickly as if it never happened. “I’m not keeping you with anything beside me right now.” He finally said after a couple of minutes of silence, not letting his gaze waver from Kazuya’s eyes. “I’m not threatening you and I’m keeping you here for your own good and you know it.” He carefully chose his words, not wanting to fight with the younger because of this. “That’s why I want you to see her.”
Kazuya scoffed at Jin’s embellished words and tried to not say something mean which will start a fight. “I don’t want to see her.” He settled for such words, feeling that it was safe to ignore the rest. He didn’t have the faith that he will be able to face her and not give in to his emotions, swayed by his rough past. He didn’t want to see her again... ever again.
“But you need to.” Jin replied with a gentle voice, smiling a little and trying to encourage the younger. “I won’t leave you alone,” he added, “I’ll be there the whole time and protect you.” He said with an honest voice. “We’ll face your past together and we’ll conquer it because I know you can do it, Kazuya.”
Kazuya looked at Jin and bit his lower lip, evidently thinking about what he should do. It was clear that Jin won’t give up until he won’t agree to go and see her - it had been the same with the drugs too. He believed him to be strong, when in fact he was as weak as a new born baby. “I can’t do it, really!” he said and clutched onto Jin’s shirt, but quickly released it, feeling that such actions will only show his weakness even more. “I’m sorry, don’t think me as a strong person.” Kazuya muttered, lowering his gaze.
Jin sighed softly and caught Kazuya’s arm, pulling the younger into his arms and hugging him to his chest, letting his hands gently roam over the boy’s back in a soothing way. “You silly, you’re stronger than you think.” The older said with a small voice, like he didn’t want to be heard by anyone else than Kazuya even if there was only the two of them in the room. “You’ve come this far, Kazuya, you can push a little more towards your freedom. I know you can do it, Kazuya, I trust you.”
The boy closed his eyes, ignoring Jin’s words that were kind of stinging painfully. Freedom was a tricky word and it made Kazuya think that he really couldn’t escape the trap that he had so willingly fallen into. “Okay... I’ll meet her on one condition, though.” The younger finally replied after what it seemed an eternity. If he had to meet the demon witch, then he’ll first need to assure himself of something.
Jin smiled and detached himself from Kazuya just enough to look into his eyes. “Anything you want.” He agreed, not bothering to hide the excitement from his eyes.
Kazuya took a deep breath and said clearly: “Before we go to see my mother, I want to go to see Koki.” He said and he waited for an answer, wondering if this was included in the anything Jin had just mentioned.
It was immediately clear how much Jin liked this when his face changed from excited to simply cold. He should have known that Kazuya will ask something stupid like this. He had to admit that it was his fault that he hadn’t thought that this could happen and had agreed to give the boy anything he wanted. Besides, Jin knew that he had promised his lover to let him see Koki if he behaved well and… Kazuya had been more than that.
Nevertheless, he detached himself from the younger and got off bed, starting to walk through the room, ruffling his hair and looking visibly annoyed by Kazuya’s request. It took him a couple of minutes to finally decide and it was shown on his face how much he liked his decision as he stretched his hand towards Kazuya. “Let’s go. But!” he quickly added before the younger had the chance to make any move. “But I’ll be with you the whole time. I don’t want to leave you alone with him.” Jin added with a voice that didn’t allow any refusal.
Kazuya wanted to argue, but felt like it won’t do any good now and surely it wasn’t the time. If they were lucky, he could see Koki when he’d leave the hospital. Thankfully to Junno, he had mailed him that today they were going to pick Koki from the hospital and had asked if he wanted to come too. Also, there had been worries voiced out through mails, nobody really calling him. Probably Ueda said not to call, unsure of how Jin will react. Therefore he was now up and ready to go, looking eagerly at Jin and grabbing onto his outstretched hand.
“He’s still at the hospital. Let’s go there, okay?” he said with a small voice and tried not to smile too much, not wanting to show his excitement of seeing his friends once more.
Jin wanted to ask how did Kazuya know this information but he refrained for the time being and just nodded at the younger, grabbing his keys and taking them to the hospital just in time to see the four friends coming out of it.
"Go, I'll wait here." Jin said as he stopped the car, turning his back on Kazuya and letting him know that he was not joining him. He'll be better if he watched from far away from them.
Kazuya looked at Jin in surprise but smiled happily, one of his rare and true smiles. He leaned and pecked Jin on the lips murmuring thank you before fleeing to his friends, feeling strangely joyful and free. But as he approached the four of them, he realized things weren’t as pink as they seemed. His friends looked at him and he saw Ueda’s gaze flicker somewhere behind him and Kazuya knew he was looking at Jin. He then looked at Maru and Junno who seemed a bit awkward by his sudden presence, but for the first time, Junno saved the day.
“Kame~chan, you came!” He said with a cheery voice, involuntarily making Kazuya smile. “You’re such a meanie... you stopped coming to school and you didn’t visit Koki when he was in hospital!” Junno accused with a smile, making him feel twice as worst. “Did you even know that he had been beaten up by some punks?!” he then asked with a surprised voice, making Kazuya flinch and his eyes looked at Ueda who seemed to be admiring the sky.
“You told me in a mail, Junno...” Kazuya replied with a small voice, making the tall man slap his forehead with an oh yeah expression. “I’m sorry for not contacting you until now.” He apologized to all of them, though his eyes were now fixed on Koki who had been looking at him since he arrived. “I’m sorry I didn’t come visit you at the hospital... I -” but his voice drowned and Kazuya felt like there weren’t anymore words. No, there were no words to express his attitude and actions up till now.
“No need.” Koki’s rasp voice said as he took a step forward and Kazuya wanted to weep seeing the bruises on Koki’s face, the swollen arcade and the cut across his lip. “It’s enough you’re here.” He added with a smile though it looked painful as he cringed a little. “Are you okay?” Koki asked and took another step towards Kazuya.
The younger had tears in his eyes and nodded once, twice, letting his head fall as to hide his teary look. Koki smiled and put a hand on his slightly trembling shoulder. Behind them, Ueda signaled Maru and Junno to leave them alone for a few moments and they distanced quickly, glancing from time to time to their friends.
“You’re stupid, you know?” Koki said with a strangled voice and Kazuya looked up immediately, more like sensing the tears in his friend’s voice than seeing them in his eyes. The younger nodded once and smiled through his own tears. “Really stupid, Kazuya...”
“I’m sorry, Koki... I really am.” Kazuya said and grabbed the hand Koki had put on his shoulder. “I couldn’t protect you or Ueda...” he added with a fading voice, but Koki heard everything.
“Don’t blame yourself for anything.” Koki grabbed Kazuya with both of his hands from the shoulders, shaking him a little. “It’s that jerk’s fault. Why are you with him, Kazuya? Why?!” he asked, looking desperate. “Are you sleeping with him for drugs?” He then questioned in a small and disappointed voice.
Kazuya bit his lip as he looked at Koki. “I’ve given up on drugs. Jin helped me.” He said, paying attention at his reaction. He saw surprise and disbelief in the same time on his friend’s face. “Really. When you came, that was Jin’s way of helping me to get rid of addiction. In fact, I suggested it to him at first, because like I told you before... I have been in rehab before and I knew already my behavior when it came to such situations.” He talked without breathing, feeling like he had to offer him an excuse for what he and Jin had done. “When I called you I wasn’t in my right state of mind and Jin found me and tried to tie me again... that’s when you came. Really, it was all my fault, but I didn’t mean to get hurt any of you.” Kazuya looked distraught and it could be clearly seen that he wanted Koki to believe him.
The other one sighed and hugged Kazuya, keeping him tight in his arms. “I’m sorry you had to go through so much. I’m sorry I couldn’t be able to help you.” He said, letting his head resting on Kazuya’s shoulder. “I wish you could trust me more, Kazuya.” He whispered, biting his lower lip and cursing his incapability to help his friend when he needed help. Only if Kazuya would have gone to him for help... if only.
“I’m going to see my mother after this.” Kazuya suddenly said and Koki froze for a second before he detached himself to look better at his friend. “Jin found her for me and...” The younger took a big gulp of air. “...I’m going to face my past, to face her.” His voice didn’t waver as he said this, but his hands trembled.
“Kazuya...” Koki said a bit impressed. After what he had heard about his mother, he was sure that it took the younger a great deal of courage and nerve to go and meet his nightmare, alive and kicking. And somehow - somehow - this was thanks to Jin. After all, Koki wasn’t able to do anything for his friend. “Can I do something?” he asked with a small voice, unsure. “I can come with you, if you want me.” He added with a hopeful voice and he saw it reflected in Kazuya’s eyes too if not for the sudden burn out and the sad expression he showed. “No?”
“Jin is taking me there.” He replied and this answered everything to Koki’s last questions. “But thank you. Having you by my side is the most precious thing to me.” Kazuya replied and smiled.
“You’re going to be okay?” Koki asked worried and he cupped Kazuya’s face. “Call me again if you need anything.” He said and continued quickly, seeing that his friend wanted to say something. “It doesn’t matter if Jin is there. I’ll face him again.” He smiled and Kazuya’s heart bled. Until such lengths Koki will go for him? It was unbelievable.
“I have to go... he’s waiting.” Kazuya mumbled and gulped a little, feeling a bit sad that he had to leave Koki so soon. He hadn’t seen him in a while, he wanted more time to spend with him, more time to talk and to discuss things over. To say sorry again. To beg for forgiveness. To show him that he was indeed precious to him, that he was that important.
“Okay.” Koki kissed Kazuya on the forehead before he turned to their friends and waved his hand at them. “Oi! Kazuya’s leaving!” he shouted at them and everyone rushed forward, though it seemed that Ueda somehow was laconic.
“Already?! Kame~chan, you should spend time with us some more~” Junno whined and smiled goofily at the younger. Kazuya returned the smile, feeling his eyes sting again with tears.
“Kame, take your time. We’ll be here, okay?” Maru said and smiled too.
Kazuya nodded and looked on turn at them. His eyes met Ueda and there was a subtle understanding between them; Kazuya knew that some things will never be the same and his friendship with Ueda was one of them. But still... he felt glad that at least Ueda didn’t run away from him. He still faced him with an honest face even if his feelings weren’t exactly on Kazuya’s taste. But he understood them completely, after all, in a way, he felt them too. Disgust for his own person, jealousy for Jin’s fling with Ueda and fear of hurting something precious. These feelings both he and Ueda had and Kazuya understood them very well.
“Well, see you guys. Take care of you and Koki, too, ne?” Kazuya said with a small laugh and bid farewell to each one of them, before turning his back and heading once more for where Jin was waiting. A feeling of leaving something important behind tugged at Kazuya’s heart. He had the feeling this was the last time he and his friends will be... friends.
“Why didn’t you tell him?” Koki asked and everyone went from happy smiles to worried faces.
“Tell him what?” Ueda asked, looking at Koki almost defiantly.
“That you’re leaving town and won’t be coming back.” The other replied and his words sounded rasp on his tongue. “He would’ve wanted to hear it from you.” Koki added, reproach clear in his voice.
“It’s best this way.” Ueda said and shook his head when he felt that Koki wanted to say more. “He knows it... in a way.” He added in an undertone and everyone turned to watch the silhouette of his friend distancing from them - towards another silhouette, a darker and taller one.
PART TWO
Authors: aroruae & fighter_of_moon
Pairing: Akame, slight Kokame & Jinda
Genre: Smut, AU, drama, tragedy
Warnings: use of drugs, whoring, slaving, insanity, bad language, incest and a lot more to come xD You've been warned, so don't read if you don't want to see them in a lot of pain *evil laugh*
Disclaimer: They don't belong to us, but we're in the process of making it true!! The proof is Jin's twitter~
Summary: Kazuya’s addiction becomes Jin’s obsession. They came to need each other to the extend of wanting to kill.
First Scent ~ Strawberry
Second Scent ~ Poison
Third Scent ~ Musk
Fourth Scent ~ Ecstasy
Fifth Scent ~ Spring
Sixth Scent ~ Fear
Seventh Scent ~ Sky
Eighth Scent ~ Winter
Ninth Scent ~ Loneliness
Tenth Scent ~ Run
Eleventh Scent ~ You
Twelfth Scent ~ Statice
Thirteenth Scent ~ Body
Fourteenth Scent ~ Memory
Fifteenth Scent ~ Toxic
Sixteenth Scent ~ Narcotic
Seventeenth Scent ~ Hollow
Chapter eighteen
Eighteenth Scent ~ Mother
Life is hard but maybe that’s why it’s called life. You’ll always have difficulties in obtaining what you want or who you want, but this doesn’t mean that it’s impossible. Just because it’s life, we can try and succeed in accomplishing our dreams. We can try, do our best and fail and sometimes feel the bitter taste of defeat, sometimes feel proud that we did all that we could even if the result isn’t anything concrete. It’s the experience that matters because when you fall, you remember where you trip so that next time you can do better and avoid that place. When you lose, you’ll know exactly what you did wrong and next time everyone will cheer you as the champion.
Life’s hard but we are humans. We rule it so we can’t let ourselves be defeated by it so easily.
It had only been two days since Koki and Ueda had made an appearance at Jin’s house and things seemed to have become a little quieter around Jin and Kazuya. The latter seemed to have changed after this experience, now trying really hard to fight his addiction and help Jin with his task. It was more horrible than ever because now that Kazuya was decided to fight them with any cost, Jin had faith in him that he won’t try to do anything to escape and he chose to let him free around the house, even if this happened only when Jin was home too. It had worked fine for a while but soon Kazuya crashed and started to beg for someone to end the enormous pain that he was feeling. Jin had been right there, next to him, trying to calm him down and holding the younger in his arms, whispering soothing words at his ear with a small smile on his lips.
Because Kazuya wasn’t asking for drugs anymore, but for help. And this made all the difference in the world.
Still, things couldn’t be ended like that, especially after what Ueda and Koki had witnessed in Jin’s house. The older still couldn’t forget that the two of them had broken into his house with the key that Jin had once given to Ueda - he had been too lazy to answer the door - and hadn’t taken back.
And now it was time, Jin thought, as he rang the bell to Ueda’s apartment, waiting nervously in front of it. Kazuya was home and Pi was watching him in case that something would happen, but Jin wasn’t really relaxed and kept fidgeting as he waited for the door to open.
And when it did, Ueda looked surprised at his guest, momentarily frozen and not knowing how to react. He quickly recovered though and stood aside, inviting Jin in his house. But the smile he’d always show to Jin wasn’t there and it was no good sign. He was a bit tensed as he took Jin into his living, silence falling over them. Usually, he would have been thrilled to have Jin again in his house, but after what happened he wasn’t so sure. And besides… he didn’t even know why Jin came. But Ueda would find out.
“What can I do for you?” he asked on a relaxed tone, though you could see that his whole body was tensed and alert. And no one could blame him.
“I’m not going to hurt you.” Were the first words Jin had said as he looked at Ueda and bit his tongue. He had no idea what to say or to do to make the older trust him again, at least that he was not a monster set up to destroy Kazuya’s friends. He felt a little disappointed because he could still feel his heart beating a little faster as Ueda had confessed his love to him. That had been the first time Jin had really wanted to love someone back.
Ueda chuckled darkly. “I’m relieved then.” He said, but he still looked tensed. “Then this means that I’m not on the same level as Kazuya’s other friends?” he then asked, looking carefully at Jin. He was curious what his place was in front of the man he loved.
“I told you last time.” Jin said with a small smile. “You’re special, for me and for anyone that has the chance to meet you.” He confessed, clearing his throat a little and looking away from Ueda. “You know I only hit Koki because he attacked me first.” He then added, not really in the mood to talk about their last discussion.
Ueda finally smiled, a faint blush coloring his cheeks. “You attacked him because of Kazuya, there’s no fault of Koki in here.” He then said with a sigh. “I…” he paused a little before clearing his throat and continued his idea. “You’ve lost your head over him.” Ueda said with an unmistakenable sad voice.
“I haven’t lost my head, I…” Jin growled, frustrated that there were so many things to be said and he didn’t know which to start with. Besides, these were things that he wasn’t allowed to tell, not without Kazuya knowing and the younger didn’t even know that he was there. “I was just trying to protect him.” he finally said. “Look, I know things were looking bad, but I’d never hurt Kazuya.” He hurried to say, fearing that Ueda will misunderstood him.
“But you weren’t exactly loving him either.” Ueda said carefully. “Jin, you were suffocating him when we came in.” he continued, the image of his friend straddled and tied up by Jin who had a pillow over his face vivid in his mind. “Is this how you protect someone?” Ueda asked, biting his lower lip as his voice shook a little. There was disappointment in it.
“I said it just looked bad,” Jin repeated, “but I was just trying to make him shut up while I tied him to the bed.” One beat. “Okay, that didn’t sound too good either.” He continued, ruffling his hair in frustration while he turned around on the spot a couple of times. “He was hurting himself and I didn’t know what else to do than to tie him up to stop him from causing more damage. You saw how my house looked when you came in. He did all of that and many others things. I just had to…” he stopped to breathe, realizing that he had said too much already and Ueda could put the pieces together by himself.
The older man sighed and looked down at the floor. Should he believe Jin? All he said seemed to suit his attitude from two days ago perfectly well, but wasn’t it all made up? Still, Kazuya mentioned drugs too after Jin accused him of addiction. Where lied the truth?! Ueda was feeling confused and he really didn’t know what to believe. Still… if Jin was indeed lying, then why had he come all the way here to talk with Ueda about it? To ease his guilt? To prove his innocence?
“If what you say is true…” he said slowly. “…if he was hurting himself, then why didn’t you get a specialist? Someone who could really handle all this?” Ueda asked, curious about this peculiar behavior. He won’t ask about the drugs, there have been enough rumors back at school to come up with a story that fit all the details he had found out without even asking.
“Please,” Jin snorted, “do you really think Kazuya would do that?” he asked, looking once again at Ueda. “I barely managed to convince him to let me help him. He would have never accepted help from outside.”
“After what I saw, I think I barely know Kazuya.” Ueda laughed sarcastically. “And you… you forced him.” He added, gulping a little. “Have you done this to him before?” he asked, referring to the time when Jin had pinned Kazuya to the wall and later when he forcefully kissed the boy.
“Force him what? To do what I want?” Jin scoffed. “That’s how we met and that was our relationship at first. We just had a deal in which each one of us took what we wanted.” He confessed, thinking that it wouldn’t be that much of a mistake to tell Ueda some little details about his relationship with Kazuya. “I never forced him to have sex with me if that’s what you were referring to.” He added, cocking an inquiring eyebrow at the older.
“You had a deal?” Ueda asked incredulously. “And where did love come in all this?” he laughed a little confused. “God.” He muttered to himself as he lowered his eyes.
“Well, love wasn’t in my plans, to be honest.” Jin laughed as he finally dared to take a few steps forward and approached Ueda a little, thinking that it might be safe now. “This was the last thing on my mind, I just wanted to have fun, to have sex and not care about anything.” He shrugged a little as he stopped at one step in front of the older. “It just happened.”
Like it did to me, Ueda thought bitterly, but he chose not to comment on this, feeling a little uncomfortable with Jin’s closeness. “It always seems to happen like this, isn’t it?” He looked up at Jin, he sitting down at the table. “How’s Kazuya?” he chose to change the subject, love not being his most favorite now.
“He’s fine now and he looks a little better.” Jin smiled, taking another seat at the table, on the opposite part of Ueda. He bit his lower lip and looked uncertainly at the other one, trying to decide if he should ask too. “How’s Koki?” he finally said, thinking that it might be good to bring some good news home to Kazuya. Of course, this could also remind Ueda of how violent could Jin be and throw him out of the house, but he risked it anyway.
“He’s okay, looking purple, green and yellow… but he’s tough and he’ll recover fast.” Ueda said, trying to joke a little, but the slight frown from his forehead showed his worry. “He’s sulking over the fact that Kazuya didn’t want to come with us when we went to the hospital.” He added, smiling sadly. “He’s angry that Kazuya listens to you…” he said in an undertone, as if he was unsure if he should say this or not.
“Of course, Kazuya is my lover after all.” Jin stated happily and with a proud expression, puffing his chest as in admiration for the younger’s decision.
“Do you call this being lovers?” Ueda arched an eyebrow, wearing a mocking expression.
“What do you mean?” Jin’s eyes darkened, not understanding where was Ueda planning to go with this.
“Don’t get me wrong… but, Jin, your relationship isn’t normal.” Ueda sighed and stretched his hand to touch slightly Jin’s shoulder. “I doubt that any of you know what a true lover means…” he said, sounding as if he was pitying them.
“So what?” Jin snapped, brushing off Ueda’s hand. “Are you implying that I’m just imagining that I love Kazuya when in fact I don’t really know what love is?!” he asked with a reproachful tone, looking intensively at Ueda.
The older man flinched at Jin’s sudden reaction, though he had seen it coming. “I’m not saying that you don’t love Kazuya, it’s just that …you two hurt each other!” Ueda tried to explain, but somehow he felt that Jin won’t understand that easily. “Your love is hurting you and that’s not… how it should be.” He concluded looking sad.
“Love is all about ups and down.” Jin simply replied. “I’m happy just being with Kazuya, while you’re the one hurt by your love.” He said, realizing his words only after he said them.
Ueda blinked once, twice as he finally allowed himself a smile. “You’re right, but at least I’m not afraid of losing the loved one because he doesn’t return my feelings back.” He shot back, poison on his tongue and hurt in his eyes.
“I’ve already lost Kazuya once and I let him free because he wanted that.” Jin answered, leaving his chair and walking towards Ueda to stop in front of his chair. “You should know this better, seeing as you were the one who took his place in my bed.” He said with a smile, tilting his head a little and battling his eyelashes innocently. He was starting to get annoyed by this whole conversation. Ueda didn’t have the right to judge him! No matter how much he had meant for Jin, he was nothing in comparison with Kazuya!
The color in Ueda’s eyes darkened and his expression shut completely. “So it’s thanks to me that you didn’t go and force him to come back to you?” he said with a scoff. “And weren’t you two back then just friends? How could you have lost him?” Ueda asked mockingly, though he suddenly thought that if Kazuya had wanted to be free from Jin that meant they were having a relationship way before?! What was going on here? Did Jin and Kazuya sleep together even when Jin was first introduced to them?! Or had Jin forced himself upon Kazuya? Again… where did the truth lie?
“Ueda, my relationship with Kazuya had been difficult from the start.” Jin said knowingly. “And you don’t have the right to judge me or him when you don’t know the whole story.” He added, looking at the older with accusing eyes. “You didn’t want your friends to know that you’re gay and they don’t know that you’ve slept with me.” He reminded Ueda with a reproachful tone. “Why should have Kazuya told you anything about us?” he then proceeded to ask, looking a little impatient and angry and maybe a little hurt too.
Jin had a point in this, yet it still didn’t make him any less innocent in all this mess. “I didn’t say anything about Kazuya hiding your true relationship. I was talking about you and your love for Kazuya.” Ueda sighed a bit tired. “And I am certainly not judging you; I’m merely expressing my opinion based on what I saw and heard from you.” He looked at Jin, seemingly understanding.
"Tatsuya, you knew from the beginning what I feel for Kazuya." Jin sighed, thinking of the first night they had met without Kazuya and Jin had told Ueda that he wasn't up for a relationship. He had only done that because Ueda was Kazuya's friend, but he had never expected to have the older fall for him. "Other than this, I didn't tell you anything so please refrain from jumping to conclusions based on snippets of my life." he scolded the other one, looking yet again accusingly at him and feeling stupid for acting like this.
Ueda arched an eyebrow before looking away with a mocking smirk. “You seem to listen only what you find convenient for you.” He said rising from where he was sitting. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter.” He waved a hand, apparently annoyed at something. “Tell me why you came here because it’s certain that you didn’t come to talk about your love life or my feelings for you.” Ueda said as he turned at Jin with a cold and indifferent expression. Well, at least he wasn’t beating around the bush like Jin apparently liked to do.
Jin took the older's example and moved a little to stop yet again in front of Ueda, looking at him with blank eyes. "I came because I want back the keys from my apartment." he said, his voice wavering a little but not enough to be noticed. Maybe it was better to just get it, leave the hell out of there and never see Ueda again.
Of course he’d come after the keys, why else? Ueda mused as he went past Jin and exited the room, returning then with the key. “Here.” He said and handed the object to Jin. “I’m not sorry for making a copy, just so you know.” Ueda said, stubbornness and defiance in every feature of his.
"I didn't say you should be." Jin replied, sounding a little upset, but refraining to add that Ueda should actually be sorry for breaking into his house the last time to save Kazuya, not when he used to come just for sex. "But it's better this way." he continued, his eyes fixed on Ueda's as if he was waiting for a challenge.
“What is better?” Ueda asked, lifting his chin up in defiance. “Me out of your life?” he asked with a scoff, though there was something similar with hurt in his eyes.
"Yes." Jin answered without flinching. "It's better for me, for you, for Kazuya. For everyone." he concluded with a firm tone.
Ueda laughed. “You bastard.” He muttered as he covered his eyes, trying to recompose himself, to calm down the beating of his bleeding heart. “Get out.” He muttered, not even looking at Jin. “I hope Kazuya won’t say the same to you.” Ueda added and since Jin didn’t move, he left the living room and the sound of a door slamming announced the other that Ueda had retreated in his bedroom.
The younger sighed and waited for a couple of minutes, his gaze set on the door. When he finally realized what he was doing, Jin got mad on himself and hurried to leave Ueda's apartment, trying to lie to himself that it didn’t matter to him.
But it did.
*
We all have wishes. We wish to grow up, we wish to be taller, we wish to have the courage to talk with that cute neighbor that haunts our mind since we first saw the whole family moving next to us. Some of us wish to be richer and travel all around the world with the money we’d won at the lottery, while others wish to be poor and to leave the spotlight that has destroyed their entire life. People are different so it’s natural that our wishes are different too.
But what can we do when we hear a little child wishing for some bread? What should we do if we meet an old man who wishes to die because he’s been abandoned by his whole family? If we find a sad little girl who had been abused by everyone she knows and then dumped like a used cloth?
What should we think if there are some of us who wish to never meet their parents ever again?
Maybe… here’s nothing we can do. Words can’t help them. Money even less. But if we try to just be there for them… we’ll see that we can work out miracles together.
The sun had risen since a long time ago but Jin still couldn’t find his sleep. Things had been wonderful with Kazuya and he’d be lying if he said that he didn’t enjoy Kazuya’s extra attention. It was like the younger would never get enough of him, like he couldn’t live without Jin anymore. The older had no idea what had triggered this change in Kazuya, but he welcomed it with his arms wide open and with a smile on his lips. He had been surprised the first night when Kazuya had showed up at his door and had simply attacked him with his kisses - especially when the same day had been the first one that the older one had been confident enough to let Kazuya leave on his own and go back to his apartment - but Jin wasn’t one to back down from such a thing. Instead, he had accepted it like it was something normal and he hadn’t asked any questions about what made Kazuya come to Jin’s apartment when the latter had just left from Kazuya’s.
He had thought that it was just a coincidence. A coincidence that had repeated itself every night since then. Jin had become used to leave Kazuya’s apartment and come home only to expect the younger a few hours later. In some nights, he had chosen to spend the night at Kazuya’s apartment to stop the boy from walking around at night and especially in the dangerous neighborhood that Jin lived in. Some other times, they had come back at Jin’s apartment together, stopping for a little mid-night snack and then going straight to bed.
Needless to say that every night had ended with the two of them having sex, but what was weird was that Kazuya had been the one to start it every time. Jin wasn’t complaining about this either, but… he had to admit that it was a little weird. And after he had talked with someone, he had come to the conclusion that Kazuya had taken Jin’s proposal literally and had replaced the drugs with sex with Jin. It wasn’t bad, but… this didn’t mean that the younger had gotten rid of his addiction.
And he’ll never do it this way.
Jin entered Kazuya’s room and smiled when he saw the younger sleeping naked and hugging one pillow at his chest. He quietly approached him and sat on the bed, trying to not wake him up. He had always believed this, but as each day passed by, Jin realized more and more how beautiful Kazuya really was. He couldn’t get enough of him and he was sure that he’d be able to stare at him for a whole week without doing anything else. He especially loved his brown eyes, Jin thought as he gently touched them with the top of his fingers, which would look at him scared sometimes, uncertain but somehow in the same time full with peace and calmness and maybe confidence too. He loved Kazuya’s eyes which would look at him in a taunting way, making Jin feel butterflies in his stomach and shivers all over his skin. He loved Kazuya’s lips - he thought and let his hand move towards them, circling the boy’s lips with a light touch - which would curl up in a smirk when he’d want to tease Jin and would shyly smile when he was embarrassed by something.
“Kazuya…”
He loved Kazuya’s voice when the younger would whisper words in his ear or when he’d demand something, defying Jin and opposing the older. It didn’t matter that this meant they’d end up in a fight yet again. Jin loved everything about Kazuya.
There was something tickling his face, Kazuya thought sleepily, making him feel like he was caressed with love and gentleness. He smiled against Jin’s fingers and sighed contentedly, shifting a little, though he more like threw his legs over the pillow, hugging it tighter. The coolness of it made him shiver a little, but the smile never disappeared. In the dim light of the room, his pinky ring shone brighter than ever.
“Jin…” Kazuya muttered against the pillow, cuddling with it, unaware that the real person was standing next to him and watching.
Jin chuckled amused and let his fingers roam further on Kazuya’s skin, softly touching his chin and going lower on his neck and chest, taking totally advantage that the younger was naked and covered only with a thin sheet. “Good morning, love.” He murmured against Kazuya’s lips, nibbling gently on them and using just his lips to feel the younger’s sweet taste.
Kazuya’s eyes fluttered open and looked through a daze at Jin who was leaning above him. Huh? Weren’t they again on that beach where they had made love with the sunset in the background? Apparently not, cause they were in Jin’s room and the older was kissing him. Kazuya let go of the pillow, stretched a little before his arms flung around Jin’s neck, smiling in their morning kiss.
“Morning.” He muttered with a husky voice, wearing a fluffy and sleepy face. “Have you brought me breakfast?” Kazuya asked, half opening his eyes.
“It will be done in a couple of minutes.” Jin replied with a soft smile, not being able to keep himself from continuing to nibble on Kazuya’s lips from time to time. “I came to wake you up.” He added, detaching himself from his lover and sitting up to leave, knowing that if he stayed any longer, he won’t leave anymore.
But Kazuya rose quickly and caught Jin’s wrist, pulling him back in bed, this time on top of him. “Silly. Who mentioned anything about food?” the younger purred and held Jin into his arms, not letting him go away. “You…” Kazuya pecked Jin’s lips. “…are…” then he licked them briefly. “…my…” he bit onto his lower lip, his eyes never leaving Jin’s. “…breakfast.” Kazuya ended and kissed Jin fully, forcing him a little to open his mouth, slipping his tongue inside and torturing the older with it.
“Hmm…” Jin sighed into the kiss, moving a little to settle better on top of Kazuya, straddling him and using his hands to stay a little above the younger, their bodies barely touching. He answered to the kiss but gave Kazuya control of their lips, leaving him to decide whether to torture Jin or to make him feel good. “If I remember correctly, I was also your dinner.” He said while taking a deep breath and tilting his head to give Kazuya better access to his mouth.
“You sure?” Kazuya replied and pulled Jin closer, not liking the distance between their bodies. “Then I was clearly not fully satiated.” He replied, his eyes twinkling with maliciousness as his tongue traced Jin’s lips before plunging again inside the older’s mouth. “And now I want an extra large breakfast.” Kazuya added, pulling Jin’s tongue out with his teeth and sucking on it with his lips.
Jin couldn’t suppress a moan this time as their bodies touched and Kazuya did something with his tongue which drove Jin mad and made him lose the little control he desperately tried to have. “I’ll give you more than that.” He said, knowing that he could never resist Kazuya and he’ll never be able to say no to him, not when he was acting like this. He took control of the kiss this time, kissing Kazuya in a demanding and maddening way, asking for more and not giving anything back. He sucked on his lips, tongue and their teeth clashed into a forceful kiss, full of desire and lust and both of them wanting for more and never having enough of the other. He supported his body on one of his hands and lifted it to dispose of the sheets that were covering the boy, letting his hand after to gently caress Kazuya’s neck, while the other proceeded to touch the feverish skin with harsh moves, scratching the younger’s body and marking it as Jin’s as it did numerous times before.
Kazuya chuckled softly, arching against Jin’s touch, enjoying the passion he managed to arouse in Jin. Not that it took much effort, but each time he felt Jin surrender to him it made him feel in control, it made him feel good. His hands clutched on Jin’s shoulders before slowly relaxing and making their way to his hair, gripping the locks tightly as he pulled the older into a fiercer kiss. There was so much desire in the way their bodies grinded and how their hands roughly touched - too much that made Kazuya’s mind soar over pink clouds and pleasure bursting all around him. And when he felt that he was getting too excited, Kazuya realized that it was better to stop.
So he steadied their wild kiss, bringing it to a gentle and mild touch of lips and tongues, as his hands searched for Jin’s and laced their fingers together. “Thank you.” Kazuya murmured against Jin’s lips, opening his eyes and looked at a flushed and lustful Jin. “I’ll keep the rest for lunch.” He added and smiled satisfied. He hoped that Jin won’t complain about the sudden stop.
“You got to be kidding me!!” was Jin’s first answer as he raised his body a little to look at Kazuya. “Kazuyaaaa…” he whined, frustrated that the younger wanted to stop exactly at this point. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” he then pouted, pursing his lips and puffing his cheeks to show how upset he was over this.
Kazuya hoped too much sometimes, but he laughed at Jin’s cute expression. “Of course I enjoy teasing you.” He replied and pushed Jin gently so that he could pull up the sheets over his naked body. “Besides, I want you to be more lustful when I’ll eat you tonight.” Kazuya leaned over Jin and pecked his lips, wearing a mischievous smile. “I’ll have more fun this way.”
“You’ll have fun, but what about me?!” he continued to sulk over the matter, now lying in bed next to Kazuya and crossing his arms over his chest.
Kazuya frowned a bit. “You’ll have fun too.” He stated with a small chuckle. “Or are you telling me that you’re dissatisfied with our latest sex life?” The younger cocked an eyebrow, leaning back on his legs. He wore an expression that said tell otherwise and you’ll be without sex for a month.
Jin just continued to pout, completely oblivious to everything. “If you keep leaving me like this,” he said, pointing with his index finger at his slightly visible crotch, “then, yes, I’ve very unsatisfied. Actually, I really ain’t satisfied right now. At all.” He added, thinking that Kazuya was denying him what was rightfully his. He couldn’t say he didn’t enjoy this game though.
Kazuya smiled sweetly before he pressed his palm on Jin’s member, pushing on it gently. “If that’s so…” he said on a deceitful tone, looking straight at Jin as his fingers curled around the material where underneath it, Jin’s cock reacted to Kazuya’s sudden action. “…how about not having sex for a while?” The younger narrowed his eyes as he scratched with his finger the length covered by the material. “I’m sure you’ll be very satisfied then, right?” Kazuya singsonged and took his hand away, turning his back on Jin, ready to climb down from the bed but only to be stopped by the other one and brought back right into his arms.
“I’d go mad without you for such a long time.” Jin whispered into Kazuya’s ear, pressing his body into the younger’s and holding him from behind, his hands entwined above Kazuya’s navel. “I already feel like I’m losing my mind if you just say that.” He added on the same low tone, softly licking Kazuya’s ear and desperately trying to bring him closer.
Yet Kazuya didn’t give into Jin’s actions and kept his indifferent façade. “But if you’re dissatisfied with me, how can you go mad without me?” the younger asked with a slight shrug, though he quivered a little when Jin won’t stop brushing his lips against his ear and neck. “You’ve been getting too much, maybe this is the problem. So… we’ll cut it to none.” He continued with a calm and cool voice as if he was talking about the weather.
“But I’m not satisfied because you don’t let me have what I want.” Jin whined on a soft tone, not giving up at his administrations and changing his position on the bed, spreading his legs and pulling Kazuya between them to keep him close better. His fingers started to play on Kazuya’s chest, slowly climbing up and playfully touching the younger’s nipples, drawing back and then coming back again to tease them with harsh pinches and gentle caresses. “I’m satisfied as long as I get to fuck you though.” He confessed, letting his tongue show his lust and circling Kazuya’s ear, biting it and sucking on it, his voice lower now and more aroused than earlier.
Kazuya gripped the sheets and bit onto his lower lip, suppressing his own passion from bursting again. “You can fuck later how much you want…” He replied with a heavy voice, wondering how the hell did they always manage to get into such situations? “But now… let’s go and eat, I’m hungry.” Kazuya muttered on a low voice, turning to look at Jin. There was a smile hanging in the corner of his lips.
Jin smirked and leaned over Kazuya, breathing against his lips. “But what about my breakfast?” he asked teasingly, wanting the same food that Kazuya had requested in the first place. He didn’t wait for an answer and just caught the younger’s lips into a kiss, sucking on them with an increasing hunger and desire, his arms tightening their hold on the boy as Jin brought their bodies as close as he could, devouring Kazuya’s mouth and feeling like it was not enough. It will never be.
Kazuya moaned in their kiss and fell limp all of a sudden. Yes, he wanted more too, he wanted Jin with his whole being but lately he had been a bit reckless. He was relying too much on Jin and the way he made him feel… he was giving too much into lust. Nevertheless, he still answered to Jin, his own tongue sliding deeper and deeper into the other’s mouth. He had to feel Jin more so he caressed the older’s hip, touching whatever he could reach from that position. Kazuya smiled into the kiss as his hand settled on Jin’s ass, groping and caressing it with teasing fingers. As their tongues brushed against each other, feeling the wetness and the fire it brought, Kazuya couldn’t suppress another moan which was quickly swallowed by the lustful Jin.
Soon the need of air had them parted and Kazuya was panting slightly against Jin’s lips and his hand was still skimming over Jin’s ass, teasing and playing with the material. He looked at Jin and his eyes sparked with desire in that momentary lock of their eyes. “Your breakfast will be the same portion as mine.” The younger said and gave a small pinch to his ass.
Jin yelped and looked at Kazuya with an angry expression which quickly faded and was replaced by a naughty one. “You started this.” He reminded Kazuya as he brought their lips together and engaged into another demanding kiss, keeping his eyes open and looking at the younger and telling him with his eyes that he was not going to back down, even less if Kazuya was at fault for making him horny.
Jin was just too stubborn sometimes.
Kazuya’s eyes sparkled with determination and desire as he stared back at Jin. But even so, he was still the most stubborn person on planet and he had his ways of persuading the older one even if it seemed almost impossible. And now it wasn’t a game of lust and passion, it was a game of who was more stubborn and who will win over such a passionate situation. And Kazuya loved to win, that’s why he shifted his body now facing Jin and never ending their kiss. It was a battle of tongues, teeth, lips, limbs and bodies until Kazuya managed to straddle the older, his hands entrapping Jin’s and holding them on each side of his head as he lowered his body, brushing slowly against Jin’s. The younger smiled as he grinded into the other’s body, his crotch meeting the other one, bumping slowly and teasing into it, creating friction. He watched with delight how Jin closed his eyes, suppressing a moan.
Kazuya broke their kiss as he began to trace with his lips the jaw line of Jin’s, biting gently onto the skin. “You like this, right?” he gave a roll of his hips, keeping steady Jin’s arms who twitched with wanting to touch the younger. “And I have more…” Kazuya’s words echoed as he proceeded to suck onto the older one’s neck, leaving behind small red butterflies, his trademark for hickeys. Then he lowered himself even more, his tongue teasing the collarbone as his tongue nibbled on the skin. Kazuya looked at Jin and smirked devilishly as he got hold of his lover’s hands, using just one of his to pin them above the older’s head, the other one being free to lift his shirt and touch the burning skin underneath. “Are you enjoying your breakfast, my love?” The younger asked with a purr as he blew some hot air over Jin’s now revealed nipples.
“Madly.” Jin answered with a strained voice, feeling all of a sudden hot and crazy and lustful and yet hot again. Kazuya’s lips and hands were making him go wild and lose his mind and he started to believe that he won’t be able to keep quiet for long and let Kazuya do his game. As soon as this thought entered his mind, Jin freed his hands and settled them on the younger’s waist, turning them around with a fast move and pinning Kazuya to the bed this time, his legs wide spread and letting Jin stand between them. The older continued to kiss his lover, taking fully advantage of the fact that Kazuya was still naked to kiss him all over his skin and to bite him hungrily, leaving marks where his teeth touched the skin.
“I’ll never get tired of you,” Jin whispered, placing now gentle kisses on Kazuya’s left nipple, “of your body,” he continued as he bit it and circled it with his tongue, “or the way it arches under my touch.” He finished with a smirk and detached himself from the younger as quickly and unpredictable as he had attacked the boy, standing up and still looking at Kazuya with a devilish smile. “Thanks for the breakfast.” He said, tilting his head a little and trying to recover his breath even if it seemed kind of hard for the moment as Kazuya was still standing in front of him and… well, being naked.
Surprised and caught open like that, Kazuya couldn’t suppress a throaty laugh as he leaned against the headboard, following Jin with his malicious eyes. “You’re welcome.” He said on a husky voice and he brought a finger to his wet and reddened lips. “But…” his tongue darted out and curled around his finger. “…are you sure you had enough?” he asked, taking his finger into his mouth and settled himself a little bit more comfortable and more accessible to Jin’s touch. He continued to look at Jin with big and round eyes, almost as if he was innocent and wasn’t doing a finger fellatio right now.
Jin gulped but he didn’t tear his gaze away from Kazuya, continuing to watch him, his eyes fixed on the younger’s finger while his mouth slightly opened, like he wanted to be the one to touch Kazuya like that. He slowly approached the bed yet again and stopped when his feet touched it, taking his time watching Kazuya and gulping some more, trying to regain his breath and to control his cock. He put a hand on the bed and leaned down as if he wanted to climb on it, only to grab the sheets and throw them over Kazuya, covering the younger completely.
Now he could take a deep breath, Jin thought as he allowed himself to laugh a little with a mocking voice. “I’ll go bring our breakfast, love.” He chirped happily and he quickly left the room, not sparing another glance at Kazuya.
The younger moved his head under the sheets as if trying to see through them before quickly removing them. He smiled as he saw the empty room and thought that he had lost spectacularly in their little game of stubbornness, seeing as he never got to play his card. Well, Jin too lost in a way, Kazuya mused as he got out of bed and looked for his clothes, ignoring the desire pulsing through his lower part. He had plenty of time to release it afterwards, now it was better to enjoy a calm and relaxed breakfast.
After ten minutes, Jin returned to the room bringing a tray filled with toasted bread, strawberry jam, pancakes and some tea. The funny part of it was the red rose on it; Kazuya couldn’t help but to smile. He was still lying on the bed - though now fully dressed - and waited for Jin to come closer. As the older finally set the tray on the bed looking awfully smug, Kazuya rose a bit and gave a small peck on his cheek.
“Thanks.” He said and lifted the rose. “For the flower I mean.” He smiled devilishly as he inhaled the rose’s scent. Then without much further ado, he proceeded to eat though the sweetness of this breakfast made his teeth hurt a little. Lucky for him that the tea was the black type, so it balanced the sweetness quite a lot.
A quarter of hour later, the tray was empty, both of them lying lazily on the bed, their fingers laced together. Kazuya couldn’t help but to feel at peace as he hadn’t been in a long time. But, then again, peace can never last long, not even in wars.
“Kazuya?” Jin called his name with an uncertain tone, glancing at the younger and pretending that he wasn’t doing that.
“Hmm?” Kazuya hummed, too lazy and too self-absorbed to feel Jin’s uncertainty. He had his eyes closed and he was smiling.
Jin shifted on the bed and took a deep breath as he prepared himself for what he was about to say. He thought that there’ll never be a better moment so he just had to take his chance and deal later with the consequences. “I want to talk to you.” He said with a serious tone. “And I know that you won’t like it, but please think at it and try to understand that it’s for your own good. Just listen to me and don’t get mad, okay?” he babbled fast as he raised himself a little to stand in front of the boy.
Kazuya opened his eyes and felt his heart starting to beat faster. He looked at Jin and felt the heavy atmosphere the older one had settled with his words; therefore he also stood up facing Jin. “O-okay…” he stuttered a little and hated himself for this lack of confidence in himself. But here goes nothing.
“Kazuya, I’ve told you that I’ll help you give up at drugs.” Jin started, looking into the younger’s eyes and trying to not even blink. “And you’ve done wonderfully until now, you’re starting to get rid of this addiction once and for all.” He said with a smile. “I couldn’t be any prouder of you, Kazuya.” He confessed and leaned over the boy to place a cast kiss on his forehead.
Kazuya looked down and sighed heavily. “Get to the point, Jin.” He asked, feeling that he didn’t want to hear praises for his well behavior regarding drugs or to remind himself of the price he had had to pay. He still hadn’t contacted Koki.
Jin took a deep breath for the second time before he finally said his wish. “I was thinking that you should maybe face your fears.” He said, staring Kazuya with his eyes. He then quickly added, even if it was already obvious. “To face your mother.”
Though there wasn’t the visible and striking reaction as the first time Jin had mentioned his mother and a possible encounter, Kazuya’s face still paled and his eyes were now two closed windows. “No.” he said with a rasp voice, averting his eyes away from Jin. He looked at the wall, being simpler to stare at the empty white color than to Jin’s dark chocolate eyes. He could never face his fears straight headed like Jin would, he’ll never be able to.
“Kazuya, please.” Jin begged, moving closer to him and catching the younger’s chin with two of his fingers, forcing him to look again at Jin. “You need this and you know it. You’ll never be able to be free if you don’t do this.” He tried to convince the boy, perfectly aware of how hard it will be. “You’ll live your whole life like this and you can’t keep relying on sex to forget about everything!!” he now proceeded to scold the boy, showing him that he had known all the time what was Kazuya trying to do.
Kazuya’s eyes steeled and he slapped Jin’s hand away. “I didn’t hear you complain about this.” He cocked an eyebrow and smirked ironically. “Even if I face my fears, I’ll never be free.” Kazuya tilted his head, not regretting saying such things even if he understood the meaning of it. And he kind of hoped Jin did too.
The older’s eyes darkened for a moment but it disappeared quickly as if it never happened. “I’m not keeping you with anything beside me right now.” He finally said after a couple of minutes of silence, not letting his gaze waver from Kazuya’s eyes. “I’m not threatening you and I’m keeping you here for your own good and you know it.” He carefully chose his words, not wanting to fight with the younger because of this. “That’s why I want you to see her.”
Kazuya scoffed at Jin’s embellished words and tried to not say something mean which will start a fight. “I don’t want to see her.” He settled for such words, feeling that it was safe to ignore the rest. He didn’t have the faith that he will be able to face her and not give in to his emotions, swayed by his rough past. He didn’t want to see her again... ever again.
“But you need to.” Jin replied with a gentle voice, smiling a little and trying to encourage the younger. “I won’t leave you alone,” he added, “I’ll be there the whole time and protect you.” He said with an honest voice. “We’ll face your past together and we’ll conquer it because I know you can do it, Kazuya.”
Kazuya looked at Jin and bit his lower lip, evidently thinking about what he should do. It was clear that Jin won’t give up until he won’t agree to go and see her - it had been the same with the drugs too. He believed him to be strong, when in fact he was as weak as a new born baby. “I can’t do it, really!” he said and clutched onto Jin’s shirt, but quickly released it, feeling that such actions will only show his weakness even more. “I’m sorry, don’t think me as a strong person.” Kazuya muttered, lowering his gaze.
Jin sighed softly and caught Kazuya’s arm, pulling the younger into his arms and hugging him to his chest, letting his hands gently roam over the boy’s back in a soothing way. “You silly, you’re stronger than you think.” The older said with a small voice, like he didn’t want to be heard by anyone else than Kazuya even if there was only the two of them in the room. “You’ve come this far, Kazuya, you can push a little more towards your freedom. I know you can do it, Kazuya, I trust you.”
The boy closed his eyes, ignoring Jin’s words that were kind of stinging painfully. Freedom was a tricky word and it made Kazuya think that he really couldn’t escape the trap that he had so willingly fallen into. “Okay... I’ll meet her on one condition, though.” The younger finally replied after what it seemed an eternity. If he had to meet the demon witch, then he’ll first need to assure himself of something.
Jin smiled and detached himself from Kazuya just enough to look into his eyes. “Anything you want.” He agreed, not bothering to hide the excitement from his eyes.
Kazuya took a deep breath and said clearly: “Before we go to see my mother, I want to go to see Koki.” He said and he waited for an answer, wondering if this was included in the anything Jin had just mentioned.
It was immediately clear how much Jin liked this when his face changed from excited to simply cold. He should have known that Kazuya will ask something stupid like this. He had to admit that it was his fault that he hadn’t thought that this could happen and had agreed to give the boy anything he wanted. Besides, Jin knew that he had promised his lover to let him see Koki if he behaved well and… Kazuya had been more than that.
Nevertheless, he detached himself from the younger and got off bed, starting to walk through the room, ruffling his hair and looking visibly annoyed by Kazuya’s request. It took him a couple of minutes to finally decide and it was shown on his face how much he liked his decision as he stretched his hand towards Kazuya. “Let’s go. But!” he quickly added before the younger had the chance to make any move. “But I’ll be with you the whole time. I don’t want to leave you alone with him.” Jin added with a voice that didn’t allow any refusal.
Kazuya wanted to argue, but felt like it won’t do any good now and surely it wasn’t the time. If they were lucky, he could see Koki when he’d leave the hospital. Thankfully to Junno, he had mailed him that today they were going to pick Koki from the hospital and had asked if he wanted to come too. Also, there had been worries voiced out through mails, nobody really calling him. Probably Ueda said not to call, unsure of how Jin will react. Therefore he was now up and ready to go, looking eagerly at Jin and grabbing onto his outstretched hand.
“He’s still at the hospital. Let’s go there, okay?” he said with a small voice and tried not to smile too much, not wanting to show his excitement of seeing his friends once more.
Jin wanted to ask how did Kazuya know this information but he refrained for the time being and just nodded at the younger, grabbing his keys and taking them to the hospital just in time to see the four friends coming out of it.
"Go, I'll wait here." Jin said as he stopped the car, turning his back on Kazuya and letting him know that he was not joining him. He'll be better if he watched from far away from them.
Kazuya looked at Jin in surprise but smiled happily, one of his rare and true smiles. He leaned and pecked Jin on the lips murmuring thank you before fleeing to his friends, feeling strangely joyful and free. But as he approached the four of them, he realized things weren’t as pink as they seemed. His friends looked at him and he saw Ueda’s gaze flicker somewhere behind him and Kazuya knew he was looking at Jin. He then looked at Maru and Junno who seemed a bit awkward by his sudden presence, but for the first time, Junno saved the day.
“Kame~chan, you came!” He said with a cheery voice, involuntarily making Kazuya smile. “You’re such a meanie... you stopped coming to school and you didn’t visit Koki when he was in hospital!” Junno accused with a smile, making him feel twice as worst. “Did you even know that he had been beaten up by some punks?!” he then asked with a surprised voice, making Kazuya flinch and his eyes looked at Ueda who seemed to be admiring the sky.
“You told me in a mail, Junno...” Kazuya replied with a small voice, making the tall man slap his forehead with an oh yeah expression. “I’m sorry for not contacting you until now.” He apologized to all of them, though his eyes were now fixed on Koki who had been looking at him since he arrived. “I’m sorry I didn’t come visit you at the hospital... I -” but his voice drowned and Kazuya felt like there weren’t anymore words. No, there were no words to express his attitude and actions up till now.
“No need.” Koki’s rasp voice said as he took a step forward and Kazuya wanted to weep seeing the bruises on Koki’s face, the swollen arcade and the cut across his lip. “It’s enough you’re here.” He added with a smile though it looked painful as he cringed a little. “Are you okay?” Koki asked and took another step towards Kazuya.
The younger had tears in his eyes and nodded once, twice, letting his head fall as to hide his teary look. Koki smiled and put a hand on his slightly trembling shoulder. Behind them, Ueda signaled Maru and Junno to leave them alone for a few moments and they distanced quickly, glancing from time to time to their friends.
“You’re stupid, you know?” Koki said with a strangled voice and Kazuya looked up immediately, more like sensing the tears in his friend’s voice than seeing them in his eyes. The younger nodded once and smiled through his own tears. “Really stupid, Kazuya...”
“I’m sorry, Koki... I really am.” Kazuya said and grabbed the hand Koki had put on his shoulder. “I couldn’t protect you or Ueda...” he added with a fading voice, but Koki heard everything.
“Don’t blame yourself for anything.” Koki grabbed Kazuya with both of his hands from the shoulders, shaking him a little. “It’s that jerk’s fault. Why are you with him, Kazuya? Why?!” he asked, looking desperate. “Are you sleeping with him for drugs?” He then questioned in a small and disappointed voice.
Kazuya bit his lip as he looked at Koki. “I’ve given up on drugs. Jin helped me.” He said, paying attention at his reaction. He saw surprise and disbelief in the same time on his friend’s face. “Really. When you came, that was Jin’s way of helping me to get rid of addiction. In fact, I suggested it to him at first, because like I told you before... I have been in rehab before and I knew already my behavior when it came to such situations.” He talked without breathing, feeling like he had to offer him an excuse for what he and Jin had done. “When I called you I wasn’t in my right state of mind and Jin found me and tried to tie me again... that’s when you came. Really, it was all my fault, but I didn’t mean to get hurt any of you.” Kazuya looked distraught and it could be clearly seen that he wanted Koki to believe him.
The other one sighed and hugged Kazuya, keeping him tight in his arms. “I’m sorry you had to go through so much. I’m sorry I couldn’t be able to help you.” He said, letting his head resting on Kazuya’s shoulder. “I wish you could trust me more, Kazuya.” He whispered, biting his lower lip and cursing his incapability to help his friend when he needed help. Only if Kazuya would have gone to him for help... if only.
“I’m going to see my mother after this.” Kazuya suddenly said and Koki froze for a second before he detached himself to look better at his friend. “Jin found her for me and...” The younger took a big gulp of air. “...I’m going to face my past, to face her.” His voice didn’t waver as he said this, but his hands trembled.
“Kazuya...” Koki said a bit impressed. After what he had heard about his mother, he was sure that it took the younger a great deal of courage and nerve to go and meet his nightmare, alive and kicking. And somehow - somehow - this was thanks to Jin. After all, Koki wasn’t able to do anything for his friend. “Can I do something?” he asked with a small voice, unsure. “I can come with you, if you want me.” He added with a hopeful voice and he saw it reflected in Kazuya’s eyes too if not for the sudden burn out and the sad expression he showed. “No?”
“Jin is taking me there.” He replied and this answered everything to Koki’s last questions. “But thank you. Having you by my side is the most precious thing to me.” Kazuya replied and smiled.
“You’re going to be okay?” Koki asked worried and he cupped Kazuya’s face. “Call me again if you need anything.” He said and continued quickly, seeing that his friend wanted to say something. “It doesn’t matter if Jin is there. I’ll face him again.” He smiled and Kazuya’s heart bled. Until such lengths Koki will go for him? It was unbelievable.
“I have to go... he’s waiting.” Kazuya mumbled and gulped a little, feeling a bit sad that he had to leave Koki so soon. He hadn’t seen him in a while, he wanted more time to spend with him, more time to talk and to discuss things over. To say sorry again. To beg for forgiveness. To show him that he was indeed precious to him, that he was that important.
“Okay.” Koki kissed Kazuya on the forehead before he turned to their friends and waved his hand at them. “Oi! Kazuya’s leaving!” he shouted at them and everyone rushed forward, though it seemed that Ueda somehow was laconic.
“Already?! Kame~chan, you should spend time with us some more~” Junno whined and smiled goofily at the younger. Kazuya returned the smile, feeling his eyes sting again with tears.
“Kame, take your time. We’ll be here, okay?” Maru said and smiled too.
Kazuya nodded and looked on turn at them. His eyes met Ueda and there was a subtle understanding between them; Kazuya knew that some things will never be the same and his friendship with Ueda was one of them. But still... he felt glad that at least Ueda didn’t run away from him. He still faced him with an honest face even if his feelings weren’t exactly on Kazuya’s taste. But he understood them completely, after all, in a way, he felt them too. Disgust for his own person, jealousy for Jin’s fling with Ueda and fear of hurting something precious. These feelings both he and Ueda had and Kazuya understood them very well.
“Well, see you guys. Take care of you and Koki, too, ne?” Kazuya said with a small laugh and bid farewell to each one of them, before turning his back and heading once more for where Jin was waiting. A feeling of leaving something important behind tugged at Kazuya’s heart. He had the feeling this was the last time he and his friends will be... friends.
“Why didn’t you tell him?” Koki asked and everyone went from happy smiles to worried faces.
“Tell him what?” Ueda asked, looking at Koki almost defiantly.
“That you’re leaving town and won’t be coming back.” The other replied and his words sounded rasp on his tongue. “He would’ve wanted to hear it from you.” Koki added, reproach clear in his voice.
“It’s best this way.” Ueda said and shook his head when he felt that Koki wanted to say more. “He knows it... in a way.” He added in an undertone and everyone turned to watch the silhouette of his friend distancing from them - towards another silhouette, a darker and taller one.
PART TWO