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winchesterxgirl Main post Prologue |
Part 1 |
Part 2 |
Part 3 |
Part 4 |
Epilogue |
Author’s notes |
Soundtrack Lyrics to the songs on the "In a Mirror Distorted and Indistinct" soundtrack
1. Sounds like a personal problem / Ghost of the Robot
What is this crap, I'm going through,
where am I at, and who are you,
to make me feel, like I'm so scared,
caught me off-guard, was no problem,
for you, so smart, so cool,
to me, life seems, it shouldn't be this way.
So here I am, and there you are,
sitting so close, feeling so far,
from me and I can't figure out,
what I should say, what's this about,
to you, too smart, too cool,
for me, life seems, it shouldn't be this way.
2. Believe / Voltaire
Did you find what you were looking for?
And did you hear what you needed to hear?
And did I serve you well, did I serve you well,
Did I serve any purpose? Any one at all?
Did you come for redemption? Or a resurrection
Perhaps a bandage for a gaping wound
I know I put one there
Or perhaps you were bored,
Or may haps you were confused
Did I serve any purpose? Any one at all
A crown of thorns would suit you well
You hang there at a loss
A crown of thorns would suit you
I’d shake your hands if they weren’t nailed to a cross
I don’t want to believe (This is the end)
I don’t want you to leave
Is that, is that all you wanted me to know
Is that, is that all?
I don’t mind you dragging me around,
And I don’t mind as long as I know where you’re taking me
And did I serve you well? Did I serve you well?
Did I serve any purpose? Any one at all
A crown of thorns would suit me well
I hang here at a loss
A crown of thorns would suit me
I’d lend a hand if it weren’t nailed to a cross
I don’t want to believe
I don’t want you to leave me here
Nailed to this question mark
I don’t want to believe…
I don’t want you to leave
Is that, is that all you wanted me to know
Is that, is that all you had to tell me.
3. Rubber And Soul / Ane Brun
In my mind I'm crawling on your floor
Vomiting and defeated
Total absence of grace
Your reluctant voice
saying; you decide your own fate
But I wear rubberbands round my soul
They keep me from crawling
And these rubberbands round my soul
they keep me from falling
In my repeated dreams
You stare at me with an empty gaze
You turn your back on me
And you search for more intriguing days
Loathing this
Controlling this
Let me get a hold of this
So I wear rubberbands round my soul
They keep me from crawling
And these rubberbands round my soul
they keep me from falling
And then when you are not in my dreams
and not in my mind
but we are at the same place
at the same time
rubber no longer holds
the borders of my soul
4. God's Gonna Cut You Down / Johnny Cash
You can run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Sooner or later God'll cut you down
Sooner or later God'll cut you down
Go tell that long tongue liar
Go and tell that midnight rider
Tell the rambler, the gambler,
The back biter
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down
Well my goodness gracious let me tell you the news
My head's been wet with the midnight dew
I've been down on bended knee
Talkin' to the man from Galilee
He spoke to me in the voice so sweet
I thought I heard the shuffle of the angel's feet
He called my name and my heart stood still
When he said, "John go do My will!"
Go tell that long tongue liar
Go and tell that midnight rider
Tell the rambler, the gambler,
The back biter
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down
You can throw your rock, hide your hand,
Workin in the dark against your fellow man.
But as sure as God made black and white,
What's done in the dark,
Will be brought to the light.
You can run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Sooner or later God'll cut you down
Sooner or later God'll cut you down
5. Boulevard Of Broken Dreams / Green Day
I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone
I walk alone, I walk alone
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone
I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone
Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone
I walk alone, I walk alone
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...
6. I Say No / Anna Ternheim
Lately you've been bothered by your friends
We will disturb you, to make you talk again
Try to find the other side of you
The things you hide, what you don’t say
We say no, oh no, we won't let you slip in between
We say no, oh no, we won't let you squeeze right through
Give you second chances easily
We wait for answers, for hours and years
But the sadness in your eyes won't go away
It becomes you, in a strange kind of way
I wonder were you come from
Who you've been
What you gain, if you win
But my guess is right you break like glass
And I wonder where, your god was then
I say no, oh no, I won't let you slip in between
I say no, oh no, I won't let you squeeze right through
Oh how sweet a girl like you can be when she tries
You're changing skin like I change clothes
You're faking it well but it shows
You say, lately I've been bothered by my friends
They need forgiveness
I need therapy, they say
Better lock up well before they come
With their prayers, and loaded guns
Better lock up well before they come
More than ten years to ignore, what they’re here for
We say no, oh no, we won't let you slip in between
We say no, oh no, we won't let you squeeze right through
We say no, no no no
Since you fall from every throne
7. You're My Best Friend / Queen
Oooh you make me live
whatever this world can give to me
It's you, you're all I see
Oooh you make me live now, honey
Oooh you make me live
You're the best friend
that I ever had
I've been with you such a long time
You're my sunshine
And I want you to know
That my feelings are true
I really love you
You're my best friend
Oooh you make me live
I've been wandering round
But I still come back to you
In rain or shine
You've stood by me girl
I'm happy, happy at home
You're my best friend.
You're the first one
When things turn out bad
You know I'll never be lonely
You're my only one
And I love the things
I really love the things that you do
You're my best friend
Oooh you make me live.
I'm happy, happy at home
You're my best friend
You're my best friend
Oooh you make me live
You, you're my best friend.
8. I Don't Sleep Well / Hello Saferide
And suddenly, I don’t feel fat anymore
I don’t count my blackheads as a hobby
I don’t count the marks on the wall
And I don’t sleep well at all
There is someone else right beside me
He kept every secret I told
He giggled his way straight through fall
And I don’t sleep well at all
He knows when I’m happy and nods when I’m sad
And he puts out when I come home drunk
And suddenly I stand real tall
But I don’t sleep well at all
I have seen too many movies
I have read too many books
I’m the kind that sees sun and brings an umbrella
I have been to fortune tellers
And I know love will leave you all crooked
And I know he’ll start sleeping around
Or start listening to symphony rock
Or throw out the key and change the lock
But I don’t sleep well at all
9. Little blue / The Beautiful South
You can’t write a novel from a briefcase
You can write a poem from a trench
You can dream a dream from a to b
But you can’t catch a bus from a bench
You don’t back a horse called Striding Snail
You don’t name your boat Titanic II
So why when I see your happy smiling face
Do I always end up singing little blue
Little blue, how do you do
Your smile looks like heaven
But your eyes hold a storm about to brew
Little blue
How can a flower so pretty be so laden down with dew
Little blue
How can a flower so beautiful be so laden down with dew
Little blue
You can’t build a brewery on a cemetery
You can build a pub on a church
And people fall quicker than buildings do
You have to decide what comes first
You don’t call a plane The Flying Roman
Cause the Romans always walked and never flew
So why when I see your happy smiling face
Do I always end up singing little blue
Little blue… etc
Well Bukowski wrote a story from a barstool
And Keats from the top of a hill
So I’m going to save my special song for you
From a grave where it’s quiet and it’s chill
Cause there’s a queue of clouds assembled
On the horizon of your smile
When most think that you’re holding back
I know you’re holding bile
Little blue… etc.
10. Breathe Me / Sia
Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere else to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
11. Better / Regina Spektor
If I kiss you where it's sore
If I kiss you where it's sore
Will you feel better, better, better?
Will you feel anything at all?
Will you feel better, better, better?
Will you feel anything at all?
Born like sisters to this world
In a town where blood ties are only blood
If you never say your name out loud to anyone
They can never ever call you by it
If I kiss you where it's sore
If I kiss you where it's sore
Will you feel better, better, better?
Will you feel anything at all?
Will you feel better, better, better?
Will you feel anything at all?
You're getting sadder, getting sadder, getting sadder, getting sadder
And I don't understand, and I don't understand
But if I kiss you where it's sore
If I kiss you where it's sore
Will you feel better, better, better
Will you feel anything at all
Will you feel better, better, better
Will you feel anything at all
Anything at all
Will you feel anything at all
Anything at all
Will you feel anything at all
Anything at all...
12. One of those days / Hera
It’s one of those days when you go
To one of those places that you know
And one of the people you avoid is there to stay
Don’t let them know this is your place to go
Don’t let them know here’s where you’ve come to cry
Don’t let them know how much you want them to leave
Don’t let them know this is your private place
Don’t let them know you’d thought that there be no one there
Don’t let them know how much you want to be alone
‘Til one of those places that you go
Your favourite tree to sleep right by
And some other person you don’t know is sleeping there
Don’t let them know this is your place to go
Don’t let them know here’s where you’ve come to cry
Don’t let them know how much you want them to leave
Don’t let them know this is your private place
Don’t let them know you’d thought that there be no one there
Don’t let them know how much you want to be alone
Til one of those places that you know
One of the places you always go
And one of the people that you know is waiting there
Hello, dear person that I know
Thank you for waiting while I go
I’m glad that there’s no one else around
I’m here to stay
And you let her know this is your place to go
And you let her know here’s where you’ve come to cry
And you let her know how much you want her to stay
And you let her know this is your private place
And you let her know you’re glad that there’s no one else
And you let her know how glad you are you’re alone.
13. More Than Words / Extreme
Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words
Now I've tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close don't ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words
14. I am what I am / John Barrowman
I am what I am
I am my own special creation
So come take a look
Give me the hook
Or the ovation
It's my world
That I want to have a little pride
My world
And it's not a place I have to hide in
Life's not worth a dam
Till you can say
Hey world, I am what I am
I am what I am
I don't want praise I don't want pity
I bang my own drum
Some think it's noise I think it's pretty
And so what if I love each feather and each bangle
Why not try to see things from a different angle
Life’s not worth a damn
Till you can shout out I am what I am
I am what I am
And what I am needs no excuses
I deal my own deck
Sometimes the ace, sometimes the deuces
It's one life and there's no return and no deposit
One life and it's time to open up your closet
Life's not worth a damn till you can say
Hey world, I am what I am
Bonus track
Perfect 10 / The Beautiful South
She's a perfect 10, but she wears a 12
Baby keep a little 2 for me
She could be sweet 16, bustin' out at the seams
It's still love in first degree
When he's at my gate, with a big fat 8'
You wanna see the smile on my face
And even at my door, with a poor, poor 4'
There ain't no man can replace
'Cause we love our love in different sizes
I love her body, especially the lines
Time takes its toll, but not on the eyes
Promise me this, take me tonight
If he's extra large (that's me) well I'm in charge
I can work this thing on top
And if he's XXL well what the hell
Every penny don't fit the slot
Anorexic chicks, the "model six"
They don't hold no weight with me
Well 8 or 9, well that's just fine
But I like to hold something I can see
'Cause we love our love in different sizes
I love her body, especially the line
Time takes its toll, but not on the eyes
Promise me this, take me tonight
I've bought a watch, to time your beauty
And I've had to fit a second hand
I've bought a calendar, and every month
Is taken up by lover man
'Cause we love our love in different sizes
I love her body, especially the lines
Time takes its toll, but not on the eyes
Promise me this, take me tonight
Enjoy!