Fic: The Ultimate Gay Test 2 or the Padalecki Plan of Penetration. Part 2. RPS. Jensen/Jared. NC-17
Title: The Ultimate Gay Test 2 or The Padalecki Plan of Penetration, part 2 of 3
Author: felisblanco
Fandom: SPN RPS
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: NC-17
Word count: ca. 4500 (this part)
Summary: Ok, so there's been kissing and... other stuff. But if Jared's gonna go gay he's going all the way, baby. Now how to get Jensen's dick in his ass...
A/N: This is the second part to the follow up to The Ultimate Gay Test or Whether Or Not To Lick Jensen Ackles but can very well stand on its own. The first part can be found here. It was written for the j2_otpathon. My prompts were: J2, Jensen's trailer, Jared's hands, rimming, blowjob, first time of some sort... Yeah, I may have added a few kinks and places, as you will see. Hope that's ok. The last part will be up hopefully in a day or two.
Beta'd by spangels_girl. Thank you so much, darling.
The Ultimate Gay Test 2 or the Padalecki Plan of Penetration. Part 2
“Unh…”
Thud.
“Wha…?”
Jared stares up at the ceiling, blinking his eyes slowly, then turns his head to confirm that yes, he just fell off a couch and yes, he is lying on the floor in Jensen’s living room. Huh.
Granted he just cracked his head on the floor but that doesn’t quite explain the swimming feeling or the slightly blurry vision. And the taste coating his tongue is suspiciously familiar. He turns his head the other way and is greeted by the sight of several beer cans spread over the floor and is that an empty bottle of tequila? His stomach lurches a yes, bringing a foul tasting burp into his mouth that makes his eyes water.
Ok, he got drunk. That’s pretty obvious. And he’s at Jensen’s place, which means he got drunk with Jensen. Then he must have fallen asleep, on Jensen’s reasonably comfortable but still far too short couch, which explains why his neck and back are killing him. He’s napped on that thing a few times under the pretense of watching the game but it clearly wasn’t made for real sleeping. Something Jared made sure his own was before he bought it because sometimes you just can’t be bothered to get up and go to bed. Especially after being blown to the moon and beyond by Jensen’s pretty mouth.
All of this doesn’t explain though why he’s here and not in Jensen’s bed. Because if Jensen was a true friend he would have woken Jared up and dragged him into the bedroom. And maybe blown him again because that’s what good friends do. They do absolutely not leave you sleeping on a couch that’s too short and Jensen-less. That’s just not cool, man.
With an effort Jared manages to roll over on his stomach then pulls up his knees until he’s resting with his head on his folded arms, ass in air. After a few breaths he pushes himself up on all fours then grabs the couch and hauls himself up to his feet. Uhuh. Everything’s swaying. His bare arms are covered in goosebumps and he hugs himself, shivering. Stupid Jensen could at least have thrown a blanket over him.
“Jen? Jensen?”
He stumbles past the kitchen, glancing at the clock on the wall. Half past six in the morning. No wonder he’s still half-drunk. The door to Jensen’s bedroom is closed but Jared just pushes it open and staggers in. Jensen is asleep on his back, right arm thrown across his eyes, lips parted slightly. Jared takes a moment to drink in the sight, sleepily considering finding his phone to add another picture to his Proof Jensen Is The Prettiest Thing Ever collection, but the lure of the bed is too strong. Instead he starts removing his t-shirt and unbuttoning his pants, which frankly is a lot harder than one would think. Stupid belt, stupid buttons, stupid goddamn zipper. Finally he gets them loose and the baggy jeans drop down by the weight of his belt and pool around his ankles. He steps out of them and pushes them to the side, losing his balance for only a moment before grabbing on to the headboard with one hand and then he’s crawling into bed.
It’s warm under the covers and Jared shivers slightly before scooting over, one arm sneaking across Jensen’s stomach, hugging him close. Jensen is always so warm, like a radiator. A hot, soft skinned, slightly hairy radiator. Everyone should have one, Jared thinks, especially when you live in a place like Vancouver. Jensen shifts and mutters in his sleep, then turns over to his side, warm back to Jared’s chilly chest and he almost forgives Jensen that whole blanket thing. Almost. Nuzzling into Jensen’s damp neck, Jared breathes in the smell of warm sleep and hair gel. They don’t end up in bed that often, probably because he hasn’t spent the night more than a couple of times. Sleepily Jared wonders why because clearly this is the best thing in the world and he’s never gonna leave this warm spot ever again. They need to get a few more pillows though because Jensen is hogging two and the one under Jared’s head is way too thin for his heavy head. With a huge yawn Jared slides one long leg in between Jensen’s and snuggles closer until they’re glued together top to bottom. A sloppy kiss on Jensen’s neck and Jared soon slips into a dream about the Fab Five helping him and Jensen choose a gigantic bed with pink pillows and built-in vibration.
-------------
“Hey there.”
“Uhmu?” Jared opens his eyes slowly and turns his head toward the sound to find Jensen squinting at him. “Wha-?”
“Morning.”
Jensen smiles and reaches out to stroke the long bangs out of Jared’s eyes, fingers lingering behind his ears before stretching further to retrieve his glasses from the small bedside table on Jared’s side. The hairs in his armpit brush Jared’s nose, almost tickling him to a sneeze. Now there’s a subtle reminder that sleeping with guys is a whole lot different than sleeping with girls. Hair everywhere, no boobs and poking in interesting places.
“Ahrg-?” Jared clears his throat and tries again, “Already?”
“It’s almost eleven.”
The fingers return, twisting the curls in the back of Jared’s neck while Jensen watches him, those sexy glasses perched on his freckled nose. Once Jensen blew him with the glasses on and Jared came so hard he almost passed out. Gave him a whole new appreciation for nerds. If he’d realized sooner how sexy glasses were he maybe would have joined the chess club like his momma wanted. But then again, the guys in the chess club weren’t Jensen.
Jared yawns and smacks his lips. His teeth as well as his tongue are fuzzy and he bets his morning breath could kill an elephant. Jensen wrinkles his nose but doesn’t pull away, just smiles indulgently like he does when Jared talks with his mouth full of gummy bears or drinks down a whole can of Dr. Pepper before burping like a walrus. Jensen’s breath smells only faintly of alcohol and much more of Colgate and really, it's not fair that not only is his face smooth and not creased with sleep wrinkles or his hair sticking up like an insane scientist’s, the way Jared knows his own does, but he smells fresh and clean while Jared feels like he just crawled out of a jock strap after licking it with his tongue. If this was a movie about ‘the morning after’ then Jensen is the Brad Pitt Hollywood version while Jared is the original European one. Possibly French and starring Jean Reno.
Talking about movies. He has a vague recollection of Apocalypse Now, a couch and beer and… hey!
“Dude! You left me on the couch!" Pouting the way Sandy says makes him look like an adorable five year old, he jabs Jensen in the chest with his finger. "I fell off and hit my head.” He sniffs pathetically and pulls the covers up to his ears. “Was freaking cold too, asshole.”
Jensen purses his lips but he can’t hold back the smile tugging at the left corner. “You passed out, Jared. Dead to the world. Really think I can carry your gigantic ass?”
“Didn’t pass out.” Jared shakes his head, pout protruding even more. “Fell asleep. Big difference.”
That makes Jensen laugh. “Ok. If you say so.” He twists a few locks of hair between his fingers before letting go, warm palm sliding down Jared’s shoulder and then it starts rubbing his arm as if it’s still cold and not sleepy hot and prickly with sweat. “I guess I could have thrown you a blanket. Sorry ‘bout that.”
“Nuhuh. Saying sorry is not enough.”
“No?”
“No.” Jared smiles smugly, rolling over on his back and stretching lazily before putting his hands under his head. “You need to earn it.” He waggles his eyebrows and grins.
“Yeah?” Jensen grins back and runs one hand down Jared’s chest and belly. “Have something in mind?”
“Yeah.” Jared closes his eyes as the warm fingers reach his cock. “Mmm, yeah.” There’s something nagging at the back of his mind but it’s hard to think with Jensen’s fingers stroking him and Jensen’s lips sucking his nipple and Jensen’s cock pressing against his...
Wait…
His eyes spring open and he grabs the hand currently cupping his balls. “Stop.”
“What?” Jensen glances up, lips pink and wet and with those glasses he looks so damn edible Jared just has to grab him by the neck and kiss him hard before giving him a big grin.
“I just remembered! Last night!”
Weirdly enough Jensen looks panicked and he pulls slowly away. “Remembered what?”
“The plan! The point!” Ignoring Jensen’s weirdness for now Jared rolls them over, pinning Jensen underneath him on the bed. “Your cock up my ass.”
Jensen stares up at him but the panicked look is gone, replaced with wariness. “Jare…”
“C’mon, Jen. I want you to fuck me. Don’t you wanna?” He flutters his eyelashes and grinds their hips together. “I have the sweetest ass, baby. Tightest… well, in Canada at least.”
“Ok, see… That’s kinda the problem, Jare,” Jensen sighs, a slight twitch to his lips the only indication that Jared’s excessive flirting is having any effect on him. Well, that and his cock swelling in his boxers. He runs his fingers up Jared’s back and into his hair, tugging lightly. For all the jokes he throws about Jared’s mop he never seems able to keep his hands out of it. “I’m not sure you know what you’re asking for.”
“Dude, I think I do.” Jared rolls his eyes and nudges Jensen’s cheek with his nose. “I know it’s not gonna be like puppies and roses the first time. I’m not stupid, Jen. But…” He shivers slightly. “Man, whenever you put your fingers in there…”
“Nuhuh.” Jensen shakes his head. “Finger. One, Jare. And you clamp down so hard every time I think you’re gonna squeeze it right off my hand, man.”
Jared stares at him. “One?” Huh. “Really? You sure?” He grabs Jensen’s right hand and studies the fingers with a frown. “Feels like at least three.”
“Pretty sure, Jare.” Jensen gives him a soft smile which stutters slightly when Jared starts covering his fingers with slow wet kisses. “Which is why it’s not a good idea...”
Oh no, he’s not letting Jensen off the hook so easily. “Oh c’mon, Jen. I’m not made of glass. Not gonna break and put splinters in your cock. If you just take it slow…”
“Jare, really. I just don’t think…”
Stubborn bastard. Time to change tactics. “Jeeen!” Jared knits his brow, puppy eyes big and wide, lower lips jutting forward in a sad pout. “How am I ever gonna know if I’m gay or bi or whatever if you won’t even fuck me?”
“Erm… Jay?” Jensen just quirks his eyebrow with a smile, seeming not affected at all which is just not the way this is supposed to go. “I think the cocksucking might be a clue.”
“Dude, girls suck cock. When I close my eyes there ain’t much difference.” Jensen gives him an annoyed glare so he quickly adds, “Except you’re so much better,” and kisses the palm of Jensen’s hand apologetically.
“Damn right I am.”
“But, like, it could be a girl doing it. And when I’m doing it to you… Ok, kinda gay but I could be thinking of lollipops and stuff. Held by girls. So, still with the ‘girls’ thing.” Jared pauses then leans over, breathing into Jensen’s ear, “However girls don’t fuck you in the ass-”
“Some do,” Jensen interrupts.
He considers that for a moment. “Ok, girls who are not Joanna with a strap-on do not fuck you in the ass.”
Jensen laughs but his face turns beet-red and so hot Jared can feel it warming the air between them. “That was one time! And I told you that in confidence! Or… drunk. Whatever.”
“Not telling anyone, am I?” He grins against Jensen’s hot cheek and gives it a quick lick before propping up on one elbow, gazing down at Jensen with a wicked smile. “Although after that stunt you pulled with the phone yesterday…”
The green eyes widen almost comically. “Not the same, dude! Not the same. You tell anyone and I swear to God I’ll…”
“Yeah, yeah.” Jared sticks out his tongue and rolls his eyes. “Can we get back to the point? The point being your dick in my ass.”
“You know, that’s not nearly as cute when you’re sober.” Jensen’s face turns serious and he pulls Jared down for a quick kiss before continuing, “I’m worried, ok? I’m worried I’ll hurt you and you’ll hate it and…” He swallows. “Fuck, Jare, I don’t know how to make it good for you, ok?”
Jared studies him silently for a while. Jensen looks far too serious and again there’s this guarded look in his eyes that makes Jared want to just pull Jensen in and hold him tight for hours until whatever it is that’s making him so tense goes away. Instead he nods. “Ok.”
Jensen blinks. “Ok?”
“I’ll figure something out.”
“Figure out? Figure out how?”
“You’ll see. But for now…” Jared grins and then he slides down the bed, nibbling his way down Jensen’s chest. “Practice time.”
The low chuckle makes Jensen’s stomach ripple under Jared’s lips. “That part of the plan I did like.”
---------------
“So, I figured it out.”
Jensen gives him a confused look, fingers drumming the steering wheel of the Impala as they wait for the yell to roll. “Figured what out?”
“You know… The plan.” Jared winks, smiling smugly. He has to force himself to sit still and not start bouncing in his seat like an excited toddler on Christmas morning.
Jensen blinks. Then his face flushes red and he jerks his head toward the mic. “Dude! We’re on set!”
“Not gonna tell you here, idiot.” Jared shakes his head and laughs. This is such fun. “I’ll show you later.”
“Show me? Jare, what did you…?”
“Ok, guys. Ready?”
“Sure thing,” Jared shouts and gives Jensen a quick grin before slipping on Sam’s brood face. Jensen stares at him for a few more heartbeats and then he looks straight forward, smoothing out his features into Dean’s relaxed, I’m-driving-the-Impala look.
If he forgets a few lines, who can really blame him? Not Jared, that’s for sure. He might even have forgotten a couple himself.
------------
Jared slips out of Sam’s wardrobe and takes a quick shower in his trailer before changing into his own clothes and practically bouncing over to Jensen’s, a large shoebox under his arm. He knocks cheerily on the door and steps in, catching Jensen just as he slips on his jeans. Jared has this knack for perfect timing when it comes to Jensen and his various states of being undressed. Actually that’s what started his whole PJITPTE collection. Seriously, it’s Jensen’s own fault for always forgetting to lock the door to his trailer. And the bathroom. And the shower. Hmmm, come to think of it, Jared suspects Jensen might have a bit of an exhibitionism kink. Either that or Alzheimer’s.
“You ready?”
“For what?” The suspicious look in Jensen’s eyes is priceless.
“You’ll see. Come on.”
They take Jared’s truck and as soon as Jensen slips into the passenger seat Jared throws him the box. “Here.”
“What is i-?” Jensen’s mouth falls open, his face blushing deep red. “Jesus!”
Jared throws back his head, laughing heartily at Jensen’s shocked expression. It’s even better than he imagined. “I told you I’d figure it out!”
Jensen picks up a purple butt plug, staring at it wide-eyed. “Dude, how many did you buy?”
“Ten. All different sizes. So we start with the smallest one and just… work our way up.” Jared gives him his biggest grin, ignoring the heat in his own cheeks…
“You are insane, you know that?”
“And that’s why you love me, baby.”
Jared laughs again, feeling childishly giddy. Beside him Jensen is silent but when Jared glances over the familiar smile is back, if a little stilted. Poor thing, he must be more nervous about this than Jared. Punching Jensen’s arm Jared grins reassuringly.
“So, your place or mine?”
“Oh, definitely yours. I’m not letting these things into my apartment.”
“Not your “apartment” they’re meant for, remember?” Jared flicks his tongue and wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, which has Jensen rolling his eyes, his lips twitching into a grin.
“Christ, why do I put up with you?”
“’Cause I’ve got a pretty dick and a sweet soon-to-be de-virginized ass?” Jared jokes, almost missing the way Jensen glances his way, biting his lip before slipping on the familiar smirk.
“Yeah, that must be it.”
Jared frowns slightly as he takes the right turn toward his apartment. There’s that feeling again, that something is off. They need to have a talk, that’s becoming obvious. Sometime when Jensen doesn’t have ten butt plugs in his lap because… Well, that’s just weird.
-----------------------------------------------
“So how we gonna do this?”
They’re sitting on Jared’s bed, butt plugs of all sizes and colors spread out in front of them. Jared can’t stop grinning, juggling a pink one and a black one between his large hands, while Jensen is still shaking his head, barely poking the things.
“You’re insane. This is insane.” He sounds dazed and there’s a drop of sweat running down his temple.
“You’ve said that like ten times already. I’m telling you, it’s not insane, it’s methodo-…metho- It makes sense, ok? Come on, let’s line ‘em up.”
Jensen sighs and picks up a blue one with the tips of his thumb and index finger. “You know, if you hadn’t ripped them all out of their packaging we would be able to read what the actual sizes are.”
Jared laughs. “Yeah, but it wouldn’t have been nearly as funny. You should have seen your face when you opened that shoebox.”
He does his best deer-in-headlight impression, complete with “O” lips and everything and gets swat across the back of his head for his trouble.
“Ow. Dude!”
“I did not look like that and even if I did… Not like I was expecting to get a box full of butt plugs, you moron.”
“Makes me wonder what you were expecting,” Jared grins and starts lining the plugs up, frowning in concentration as he ponders length and girth.
Now that one, the dark pink one, is definitely the smallest. It’s thin and smoothly shaped. Not any wider than Jensen’s fingers. He can take that, Jared thinks with a nod. The bright pink one is biggest, both in length and girth. Christ, even with his long digits he can hardly circle the thickest part. He swallows and his ass clenches just thinking about that thing going inside. It’s a lot bigger than Jensen’s cock though so maybe they won’t have to use it.
“Jare… You don’t have to do this.”
Jared looks up to find Jensen watching him, white teeth worrying his upper lip. “Dude, stop being such a pussy. We’re doing this, alright?”
They hold each other’s stare for a minute and then Jensen nods. “Yeah, ok. But any time you’ve had enough we stop. We clear?”
“Sure, sure.” Jared rolls his eyes and goes back to the plugs. So first the dark pink one and then the purple funny shaped one and… whatever that colour is called. Magenta? Whatever. Number four is green, number five orange, then there’s a white one and a clear see-through one and… He looks up at Jensen. “Maybe we should write this down.”
“Whatever, geek boy.” Jensen smiles and rolls out of bed to fetch the notebook from the computer desk in the corner.
“I’m not Sam, man.”
“Just as well or we wouldn’t be doing this,” Jensen snorts and throws the notebook on the bed before leaning against the wall, watching the display with an odd look on his face.
Jared looks up at him, frowning. “You saying if we were related you wouldn’t want me?”
“What?” It’s so hilarious the way Jensen straightens up, eyes wide with shock that Jared almost starts laughing. “Dude!”
“I’m just sayin’,” Jared shrugs but he can’t help the smile tugging at his lips. “Even if we were Siamese twins I’d still wanna bang you.” He frowns. “Not sure how that would work though. How would that work?”
“Ok, now you’re just being gross. And I thought I was supposed to bang you.”
“First. Then I’m gonna bang you.”
Jensen pushes himself off the wall and walks over, one thumb hooked in the waistband of his jeans. “Or you could just bend me over and fuck me now and we forget about all this.”
Jared closes his eyes for a second because damn if that image isn’t enough to make all his plans seem stupid. With a deep breath he opens his eyes and shakes his head, “No.”
“Dammit, Jared.” Jensen runs his fingers through his hair in frustration, accent slipping along with his nonchalance. “Why you gotta be so goddamn stubborn?”
He thrusts his hands into the pockets of his jeans, shoulders hunched, but Jared can still see the knuckles move under the thin denim as Jensen clenches his fists. He puts down the silver plug he’s been weighing in his hand and gives Jensen a pointed stare.
“I want to do this, Jen. What I can’t figure out is why you don’t. Is there something I should know?”
Jensen’s eyes narrow for a moment but then he looks away and shrugs. “No. I just don’t see what the big deal is. If you wanna fuck, let’s fuck. What the hell does it matter if I bottom and not you?”
Jared blinks. Ookaay. Maybe that talk can’t wait after all. “You think that’s what this is all about? That I just wanna fuck?”
Jensen looks back at him, eyes blank and lips thin. “Ain’t that what you keep telling me?”
“Jen…” Jared sighs and fights the urge to smack his own head. Clearly he’s been going at this all wrong. “If I just wanted to shove my dick up someone’s ass I’d have done it already. And if it was just about me getting something up my ass… well, I have ten fucking butt plugs.”
Jared swings his legs over the edge of the bed and reaches out, catching Jensen’s wrist and pulling the hand out of his pocket just as he backs away. Ignoring Jensen’s warning glare Jared pulls him in until he’s standing between Jared’s spread legs, and he lets Jensen’s wrist go in favor of splaying his long fingers over the narrow hips instead. He can feel Jensen’s heat through the thin material of his t-shirt, his tense muscles hard like rock under the soft skin. Jared bites his upper lip, bowing his head to rest it briefly on the flat stomach in front of him as he struggles to find the right words.
“I want you, Jen. I just want you. Ok?”
He looks up at Jensen through his bangs, pleading him to understand. Jensen stares down at him, but then slowly the wary look fades from his eyes, replaced by something softer and he visibly relaxes. He lifts his hand and runs his fingers through Jared’s hair, back to Jared’s neck, twirling the long strands between his fingers.
“You’re such a girl, Jay, you know that?”
Jared grins and bats his eyes. “Yeah, but I’m your girl.”
The words are out before he realises. Jensen’s fingers tighten in Jared’s hair and Jared holds his breath, the word ‘fuck’ repeating itself frantically in his brain. Fuckfuckfuck and stupidstupidstupid. Then suddenly Jensen’s fingers relax and he starts stroking through Jared’s sweat-damp tangles again.
“Yeah. Yeah, you are.”
Jared breathes out, the smile returning to his face, and he wraps his arms around Jensen’s waist, resting his ear above the too-quick pounding heart. It’s not exactly a flowers-and-chocolate love declaration but it’s something. Which means…?
Jared swallows and says, “I’m gonna break up with Sandy.”
Jensen’s stomach jumps under Jared’s chin. “Jare, you don’t have to.”
“Yeah, I do.” The uncertainty returns and Jared wishes he had the nerve to lift his head and see the look in Jensen’s eyes. “Just… tell me you want this. Us.”
Jensen’s fingers tighten in his hair again for a moment and he holds his breath. Then they untangle their hold to stroke Jared’s neck instead. They’re warm and Jared thinks he can feel them tremble. “I want it.” Jensen gives a shaky laugh, fingers curling. “I do. Dammit, Jare. I never meant for this to… Fuck.”
“I kinda got that.” Jared turns his head and pulls up Jensen’s t-shirt to kiss his stomach. Warm and soft-skinned and just the hint of a golden treasure trail. “Is this a bad idea? Us, I mean.”
Jensen laughs again, his hips jutting forward when Jared lets the kiss linger, wet and warm above Jensen’s belly button. “Maybe. Probably.”
Breathe in. “You want out?”
“No.”
Breathe out. “Ok. Good.”
He nibbles playfully at Jensen’s hipbone and then unwraps his arms to let himself fall backwards on the bed, smiling happily up at Jensen. “Ok, so… I figure I walk around with each for about a day and by the time we wrap the episode I should be good to go.”
Jensen blinks. “You’re gonna walk around with a butt plug up your ass? On set?”
“Yep.” He leers. This is the best idea he’s ever had. “Won’t that do wonders for Dean’s ‘brotherly love’?”
“Dude, you’re evil. Dean doesn’t have Sam’s baggy pants.” Jensen groans and adjusts himself with a scowl. “You’ll be lucky if there’s any blood left in my dick after those ten days.”
Jared laughs and then grabs the big pink one and throws it into the far corner of the room. “Make that nine, man. No way I’m putting that gigantic thing up my ass.”
“Thank God. It was giving my dick issues.”
“Yeah?” Jared crosses his ankles behind Jensen’s knees and jerks him forward so he falls, arms flailing, on top of Jared with an oomph. “It has nothing to worry about but let me assure it anyway.”
They forget all about the butt plugs until Jared flips them over and lands Jensen smack on top of the colourful display. The oddly shaped bruises over his back the next couple of days are almost worth it for all the kissing Jared does to make up for them.
Continued here.
Author: felisblanco
Fandom: SPN RPS
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: NC-17
Word count: ca. 4500 (this part)
Summary: Ok, so there's been kissing and... other stuff. But if Jared's gonna go gay he's going all the way, baby. Now how to get Jensen's dick in his ass...
A/N: This is the second part to the follow up to The Ultimate Gay Test or Whether Or Not To Lick Jensen Ackles but can very well stand on its own. The first part can be found here. It was written for the j2_otpathon. My prompts were: J2, Jensen's trailer, Jared's hands, rimming, blowjob, first time of some sort... Yeah, I may have added a few kinks and places, as you will see. Hope that's ok. The last part will be up hopefully in a day or two.
Beta'd by spangels_girl. Thank you so much, darling.
The Ultimate Gay Test 2 or the Padalecki Plan of Penetration. Part 2
“Unh…”
Thud.
“Wha…?”
Jared stares up at the ceiling, blinking his eyes slowly, then turns his head to confirm that yes, he just fell off a couch and yes, he is lying on the floor in Jensen’s living room. Huh.
Granted he just cracked his head on the floor but that doesn’t quite explain the swimming feeling or the slightly blurry vision. And the taste coating his tongue is suspiciously familiar. He turns his head the other way and is greeted by the sight of several beer cans spread over the floor and is that an empty bottle of tequila? His stomach lurches a yes, bringing a foul tasting burp into his mouth that makes his eyes water.
Ok, he got drunk. That’s pretty obvious. And he’s at Jensen’s place, which means he got drunk with Jensen. Then he must have fallen asleep, on Jensen’s reasonably comfortable but still far too short couch, which explains why his neck and back are killing him. He’s napped on that thing a few times under the pretense of watching the game but it clearly wasn’t made for real sleeping. Something Jared made sure his own was before he bought it because sometimes you just can’t be bothered to get up and go to bed. Especially after being blown to the moon and beyond by Jensen’s pretty mouth.
All of this doesn’t explain though why he’s here and not in Jensen’s bed. Because if Jensen was a true friend he would have woken Jared up and dragged him into the bedroom. And maybe blown him again because that’s what good friends do. They do absolutely not leave you sleeping on a couch that’s too short and Jensen-less. That’s just not cool, man.
With an effort Jared manages to roll over on his stomach then pulls up his knees until he’s resting with his head on his folded arms, ass in air. After a few breaths he pushes himself up on all fours then grabs the couch and hauls himself up to his feet. Uhuh. Everything’s swaying. His bare arms are covered in goosebumps and he hugs himself, shivering. Stupid Jensen could at least have thrown a blanket over him.
“Jen? Jensen?”
He stumbles past the kitchen, glancing at the clock on the wall. Half past six in the morning. No wonder he’s still half-drunk. The door to Jensen’s bedroom is closed but Jared just pushes it open and staggers in. Jensen is asleep on his back, right arm thrown across his eyes, lips parted slightly. Jared takes a moment to drink in the sight, sleepily considering finding his phone to add another picture to his Proof Jensen Is The Prettiest Thing Ever collection, but the lure of the bed is too strong. Instead he starts removing his t-shirt and unbuttoning his pants, which frankly is a lot harder than one would think. Stupid belt, stupid buttons, stupid goddamn zipper. Finally he gets them loose and the baggy jeans drop down by the weight of his belt and pool around his ankles. He steps out of them and pushes them to the side, losing his balance for only a moment before grabbing on to the headboard with one hand and then he’s crawling into bed.
It’s warm under the covers and Jared shivers slightly before scooting over, one arm sneaking across Jensen’s stomach, hugging him close. Jensen is always so warm, like a radiator. A hot, soft skinned, slightly hairy radiator. Everyone should have one, Jared thinks, especially when you live in a place like Vancouver. Jensen shifts and mutters in his sleep, then turns over to his side, warm back to Jared’s chilly chest and he almost forgives Jensen that whole blanket thing. Almost. Nuzzling into Jensen’s damp neck, Jared breathes in the smell of warm sleep and hair gel. They don’t end up in bed that often, probably because he hasn’t spent the night more than a couple of times. Sleepily Jared wonders why because clearly this is the best thing in the world and he’s never gonna leave this warm spot ever again. They need to get a few more pillows though because Jensen is hogging two and the one under Jared’s head is way too thin for his heavy head. With a huge yawn Jared slides one long leg in between Jensen’s and snuggles closer until they’re glued together top to bottom. A sloppy kiss on Jensen’s neck and Jared soon slips into a dream about the Fab Five helping him and Jensen choose a gigantic bed with pink pillows and built-in vibration.
-------------
“Hey there.”
“Uhmu?” Jared opens his eyes slowly and turns his head toward the sound to find Jensen squinting at him. “Wha-?”
“Morning.”
Jensen smiles and reaches out to stroke the long bangs out of Jared’s eyes, fingers lingering behind his ears before stretching further to retrieve his glasses from the small bedside table on Jared’s side. The hairs in his armpit brush Jared’s nose, almost tickling him to a sneeze. Now there’s a subtle reminder that sleeping with guys is a whole lot different than sleeping with girls. Hair everywhere, no boobs and poking in interesting places.
“Ahrg-?” Jared clears his throat and tries again, “Already?”
“It’s almost eleven.”
The fingers return, twisting the curls in the back of Jared’s neck while Jensen watches him, those sexy glasses perched on his freckled nose. Once Jensen blew him with the glasses on and Jared came so hard he almost passed out. Gave him a whole new appreciation for nerds. If he’d realized sooner how sexy glasses were he maybe would have joined the chess club like his momma wanted. But then again, the guys in the chess club weren’t Jensen.
Jared yawns and smacks his lips. His teeth as well as his tongue are fuzzy and he bets his morning breath could kill an elephant. Jensen wrinkles his nose but doesn’t pull away, just smiles indulgently like he does when Jared talks with his mouth full of gummy bears or drinks down a whole can of Dr. Pepper before burping like a walrus. Jensen’s breath smells only faintly of alcohol and much more of Colgate and really, it's not fair that not only is his face smooth and not creased with sleep wrinkles or his hair sticking up like an insane scientist’s, the way Jared knows his own does, but he smells fresh and clean while Jared feels like he just crawled out of a jock strap after licking it with his tongue. If this was a movie about ‘the morning after’ then Jensen is the Brad Pitt Hollywood version while Jared is the original European one. Possibly French and starring Jean Reno.
Talking about movies. He has a vague recollection of Apocalypse Now, a couch and beer and… hey!
“Dude! You left me on the couch!" Pouting the way Sandy says makes him look like an adorable five year old, he jabs Jensen in the chest with his finger. "I fell off and hit my head.” He sniffs pathetically and pulls the covers up to his ears. “Was freaking cold too, asshole.”
Jensen purses his lips but he can’t hold back the smile tugging at the left corner. “You passed out, Jared. Dead to the world. Really think I can carry your gigantic ass?”
“Didn’t pass out.” Jared shakes his head, pout protruding even more. “Fell asleep. Big difference.”
That makes Jensen laugh. “Ok. If you say so.” He twists a few locks of hair between his fingers before letting go, warm palm sliding down Jared’s shoulder and then it starts rubbing his arm as if it’s still cold and not sleepy hot and prickly with sweat. “I guess I could have thrown you a blanket. Sorry ‘bout that.”
“Nuhuh. Saying sorry is not enough.”
“No?”
“No.” Jared smiles smugly, rolling over on his back and stretching lazily before putting his hands under his head. “You need to earn it.” He waggles his eyebrows and grins.
“Yeah?” Jensen grins back and runs one hand down Jared’s chest and belly. “Have something in mind?”
“Yeah.” Jared closes his eyes as the warm fingers reach his cock. “Mmm, yeah.” There’s something nagging at the back of his mind but it’s hard to think with Jensen’s fingers stroking him and Jensen’s lips sucking his nipple and Jensen’s cock pressing against his...
Wait…
His eyes spring open and he grabs the hand currently cupping his balls. “Stop.”
“What?” Jensen glances up, lips pink and wet and with those glasses he looks so damn edible Jared just has to grab him by the neck and kiss him hard before giving him a big grin.
“I just remembered! Last night!”
Weirdly enough Jensen looks panicked and he pulls slowly away. “Remembered what?”
“The plan! The point!” Ignoring Jensen’s weirdness for now Jared rolls them over, pinning Jensen underneath him on the bed. “Your cock up my ass.”
Jensen stares up at him but the panicked look is gone, replaced with wariness. “Jare…”
“C’mon, Jen. I want you to fuck me. Don’t you wanna?” He flutters his eyelashes and grinds their hips together. “I have the sweetest ass, baby. Tightest… well, in Canada at least.”
“Ok, see… That’s kinda the problem, Jare,” Jensen sighs, a slight twitch to his lips the only indication that Jared’s excessive flirting is having any effect on him. Well, that and his cock swelling in his boxers. He runs his fingers up Jared’s back and into his hair, tugging lightly. For all the jokes he throws about Jared’s mop he never seems able to keep his hands out of it. “I’m not sure you know what you’re asking for.”
“Dude, I think I do.” Jared rolls his eyes and nudges Jensen’s cheek with his nose. “I know it’s not gonna be like puppies and roses the first time. I’m not stupid, Jen. But…” He shivers slightly. “Man, whenever you put your fingers in there…”
“Nuhuh.” Jensen shakes his head. “Finger. One, Jare. And you clamp down so hard every time I think you’re gonna squeeze it right off my hand, man.”
Jared stares at him. “One?” Huh. “Really? You sure?” He grabs Jensen’s right hand and studies the fingers with a frown. “Feels like at least three.”
“Pretty sure, Jare.” Jensen gives him a soft smile which stutters slightly when Jared starts covering his fingers with slow wet kisses. “Which is why it’s not a good idea...”
Oh no, he’s not letting Jensen off the hook so easily. “Oh c’mon, Jen. I’m not made of glass. Not gonna break and put splinters in your cock. If you just take it slow…”
“Jare, really. I just don’t think…”
Stubborn bastard. Time to change tactics. “Jeeen!” Jared knits his brow, puppy eyes big and wide, lower lips jutting forward in a sad pout. “How am I ever gonna know if I’m gay or bi or whatever if you won’t even fuck me?”
“Erm… Jay?” Jensen just quirks his eyebrow with a smile, seeming not affected at all which is just not the way this is supposed to go. “I think the cocksucking might be a clue.”
“Dude, girls suck cock. When I close my eyes there ain’t much difference.” Jensen gives him an annoyed glare so he quickly adds, “Except you’re so much better,” and kisses the palm of Jensen’s hand apologetically.
“Damn right I am.”
“But, like, it could be a girl doing it. And when I’m doing it to you… Ok, kinda gay but I could be thinking of lollipops and stuff. Held by girls. So, still with the ‘girls’ thing.” Jared pauses then leans over, breathing into Jensen’s ear, “However girls don’t fuck you in the ass-”
“Some do,” Jensen interrupts.
He considers that for a moment. “Ok, girls who are not Joanna with a strap-on do not fuck you in the ass.”
Jensen laughs but his face turns beet-red and so hot Jared can feel it warming the air between them. “That was one time! And I told you that in confidence! Or… drunk. Whatever.”
“Not telling anyone, am I?” He grins against Jensen’s hot cheek and gives it a quick lick before propping up on one elbow, gazing down at Jensen with a wicked smile. “Although after that stunt you pulled with the phone yesterday…”
The green eyes widen almost comically. “Not the same, dude! Not the same. You tell anyone and I swear to God I’ll…”
“Yeah, yeah.” Jared sticks out his tongue and rolls his eyes. “Can we get back to the point? The point being your dick in my ass.”
“You know, that’s not nearly as cute when you’re sober.” Jensen’s face turns serious and he pulls Jared down for a quick kiss before continuing, “I’m worried, ok? I’m worried I’ll hurt you and you’ll hate it and…” He swallows. “Fuck, Jare, I don’t know how to make it good for you, ok?”
Jared studies him silently for a while. Jensen looks far too serious and again there’s this guarded look in his eyes that makes Jared want to just pull Jensen in and hold him tight for hours until whatever it is that’s making him so tense goes away. Instead he nods. “Ok.”
Jensen blinks. “Ok?”
“I’ll figure something out.”
“Figure out? Figure out how?”
“You’ll see. But for now…” Jared grins and then he slides down the bed, nibbling his way down Jensen’s chest. “Practice time.”
The low chuckle makes Jensen’s stomach ripple under Jared’s lips. “That part of the plan I did like.”
---------------
“So, I figured it out.”
Jensen gives him a confused look, fingers drumming the steering wheel of the Impala as they wait for the yell to roll. “Figured what out?”
“You know… The plan.” Jared winks, smiling smugly. He has to force himself to sit still and not start bouncing in his seat like an excited toddler on Christmas morning.
Jensen blinks. Then his face flushes red and he jerks his head toward the mic. “Dude! We’re on set!”
“Not gonna tell you here, idiot.” Jared shakes his head and laughs. This is such fun. “I’ll show you later.”
“Show me? Jare, what did you…?”
“Ok, guys. Ready?”
“Sure thing,” Jared shouts and gives Jensen a quick grin before slipping on Sam’s brood face. Jensen stares at him for a few more heartbeats and then he looks straight forward, smoothing out his features into Dean’s relaxed, I’m-driving-the-Impala look.
If he forgets a few lines, who can really blame him? Not Jared, that’s for sure. He might even have forgotten a couple himself.
------------
Jared slips out of Sam’s wardrobe and takes a quick shower in his trailer before changing into his own clothes and practically bouncing over to Jensen’s, a large shoebox under his arm. He knocks cheerily on the door and steps in, catching Jensen just as he slips on his jeans. Jared has this knack for perfect timing when it comes to Jensen and his various states of being undressed. Actually that’s what started his whole PJITPTE collection. Seriously, it’s Jensen’s own fault for always forgetting to lock the door to his trailer. And the bathroom. And the shower. Hmmm, come to think of it, Jared suspects Jensen might have a bit of an exhibitionism kink. Either that or Alzheimer’s.
“You ready?”
“For what?” The suspicious look in Jensen’s eyes is priceless.
“You’ll see. Come on.”
They take Jared’s truck and as soon as Jensen slips into the passenger seat Jared throws him the box. “Here.”
“What is i-?” Jensen’s mouth falls open, his face blushing deep red. “Jesus!”
Jared throws back his head, laughing heartily at Jensen’s shocked expression. It’s even better than he imagined. “I told you I’d figure it out!”
Jensen picks up a purple butt plug, staring at it wide-eyed. “Dude, how many did you buy?”
“Ten. All different sizes. So we start with the smallest one and just… work our way up.” Jared gives him his biggest grin, ignoring the heat in his own cheeks…
“You are insane, you know that?”
“And that’s why you love me, baby.”
Jared laughs again, feeling childishly giddy. Beside him Jensen is silent but when Jared glances over the familiar smile is back, if a little stilted. Poor thing, he must be more nervous about this than Jared. Punching Jensen’s arm Jared grins reassuringly.
“So, your place or mine?”
“Oh, definitely yours. I’m not letting these things into my apartment.”
“Not your “apartment” they’re meant for, remember?” Jared flicks his tongue and wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, which has Jensen rolling his eyes, his lips twitching into a grin.
“Christ, why do I put up with you?”
“’Cause I’ve got a pretty dick and a sweet soon-to-be de-virginized ass?” Jared jokes, almost missing the way Jensen glances his way, biting his lip before slipping on the familiar smirk.
“Yeah, that must be it.”
Jared frowns slightly as he takes the right turn toward his apartment. There’s that feeling again, that something is off. They need to have a talk, that’s becoming obvious. Sometime when Jensen doesn’t have ten butt plugs in his lap because… Well, that’s just weird.
-----------------------------------------------
“So how we gonna do this?”
They’re sitting on Jared’s bed, butt plugs of all sizes and colors spread out in front of them. Jared can’t stop grinning, juggling a pink one and a black one between his large hands, while Jensen is still shaking his head, barely poking the things.
“You’re insane. This is insane.” He sounds dazed and there’s a drop of sweat running down his temple.
“You’ve said that like ten times already. I’m telling you, it’s not insane, it’s methodo-…metho- It makes sense, ok? Come on, let’s line ‘em up.”
Jensen sighs and picks up a blue one with the tips of his thumb and index finger. “You know, if you hadn’t ripped them all out of their packaging we would be able to read what the actual sizes are.”
Jared laughs. “Yeah, but it wouldn’t have been nearly as funny. You should have seen your face when you opened that shoebox.”
He does his best deer-in-headlight impression, complete with “O” lips and everything and gets swat across the back of his head for his trouble.
“Ow. Dude!”
“I did not look like that and even if I did… Not like I was expecting to get a box full of butt plugs, you moron.”
“Makes me wonder what you were expecting,” Jared grins and starts lining the plugs up, frowning in concentration as he ponders length and girth.
Now that one, the dark pink one, is definitely the smallest. It’s thin and smoothly shaped. Not any wider than Jensen’s fingers. He can take that, Jared thinks with a nod. The bright pink one is biggest, both in length and girth. Christ, even with his long digits he can hardly circle the thickest part. He swallows and his ass clenches just thinking about that thing going inside. It’s a lot bigger than Jensen’s cock though so maybe they won’t have to use it.
“Jare… You don’t have to do this.”
Jared looks up to find Jensen watching him, white teeth worrying his upper lip. “Dude, stop being such a pussy. We’re doing this, alright?”
They hold each other’s stare for a minute and then Jensen nods. “Yeah, ok. But any time you’ve had enough we stop. We clear?”
“Sure, sure.” Jared rolls his eyes and goes back to the plugs. So first the dark pink one and then the purple funny shaped one and… whatever that colour is called. Magenta? Whatever. Number four is green, number five orange, then there’s a white one and a clear see-through one and… He looks up at Jensen. “Maybe we should write this down.”
“Whatever, geek boy.” Jensen smiles and rolls out of bed to fetch the notebook from the computer desk in the corner.
“I’m not Sam, man.”
“Just as well or we wouldn’t be doing this,” Jensen snorts and throws the notebook on the bed before leaning against the wall, watching the display with an odd look on his face.
Jared looks up at him, frowning. “You saying if we were related you wouldn’t want me?”
“What?” It’s so hilarious the way Jensen straightens up, eyes wide with shock that Jared almost starts laughing. “Dude!”
“I’m just sayin’,” Jared shrugs but he can’t help the smile tugging at his lips. “Even if we were Siamese twins I’d still wanna bang you.” He frowns. “Not sure how that would work though. How would that work?”
“Ok, now you’re just being gross. And I thought I was supposed to bang you.”
“First. Then I’m gonna bang you.”
Jensen pushes himself off the wall and walks over, one thumb hooked in the waistband of his jeans. “Or you could just bend me over and fuck me now and we forget about all this.”
Jared closes his eyes for a second because damn if that image isn’t enough to make all his plans seem stupid. With a deep breath he opens his eyes and shakes his head, “No.”
“Dammit, Jared.” Jensen runs his fingers through his hair in frustration, accent slipping along with his nonchalance. “Why you gotta be so goddamn stubborn?”
He thrusts his hands into the pockets of his jeans, shoulders hunched, but Jared can still see the knuckles move under the thin denim as Jensen clenches his fists. He puts down the silver plug he’s been weighing in his hand and gives Jensen a pointed stare.
“I want to do this, Jen. What I can’t figure out is why you don’t. Is there something I should know?”
Jensen’s eyes narrow for a moment but then he looks away and shrugs. “No. I just don’t see what the big deal is. If you wanna fuck, let’s fuck. What the hell does it matter if I bottom and not you?”
Jared blinks. Ookaay. Maybe that talk can’t wait after all. “You think that’s what this is all about? That I just wanna fuck?”
Jensen looks back at him, eyes blank and lips thin. “Ain’t that what you keep telling me?”
“Jen…” Jared sighs and fights the urge to smack his own head. Clearly he’s been going at this all wrong. “If I just wanted to shove my dick up someone’s ass I’d have done it already. And if it was just about me getting something up my ass… well, I have ten fucking butt plugs.”
Jared swings his legs over the edge of the bed and reaches out, catching Jensen’s wrist and pulling the hand out of his pocket just as he backs away. Ignoring Jensen’s warning glare Jared pulls him in until he’s standing between Jared’s spread legs, and he lets Jensen’s wrist go in favor of splaying his long fingers over the narrow hips instead. He can feel Jensen’s heat through the thin material of his t-shirt, his tense muscles hard like rock under the soft skin. Jared bites his upper lip, bowing his head to rest it briefly on the flat stomach in front of him as he struggles to find the right words.
“I want you, Jen. I just want you. Ok?”
He looks up at Jensen through his bangs, pleading him to understand. Jensen stares down at him, but then slowly the wary look fades from his eyes, replaced by something softer and he visibly relaxes. He lifts his hand and runs his fingers through Jared’s hair, back to Jared’s neck, twirling the long strands between his fingers.
“You’re such a girl, Jay, you know that?”
Jared grins and bats his eyes. “Yeah, but I’m your girl.”
The words are out before he realises. Jensen’s fingers tighten in Jared’s hair and Jared holds his breath, the word ‘fuck’ repeating itself frantically in his brain. Fuckfuckfuck and stupidstupidstupid. Then suddenly Jensen’s fingers relax and he starts stroking through Jared’s sweat-damp tangles again.
“Yeah. Yeah, you are.”
Jared breathes out, the smile returning to his face, and he wraps his arms around Jensen’s waist, resting his ear above the too-quick pounding heart. It’s not exactly a flowers-and-chocolate love declaration but it’s something. Which means…?
Jared swallows and says, “I’m gonna break up with Sandy.”
Jensen’s stomach jumps under Jared’s chin. “Jare, you don’t have to.”
“Yeah, I do.” The uncertainty returns and Jared wishes he had the nerve to lift his head and see the look in Jensen’s eyes. “Just… tell me you want this. Us.”
Jensen’s fingers tighten in his hair again for a moment and he holds his breath. Then they untangle their hold to stroke Jared’s neck instead. They’re warm and Jared thinks he can feel them tremble. “I want it.” Jensen gives a shaky laugh, fingers curling. “I do. Dammit, Jare. I never meant for this to… Fuck.”
“I kinda got that.” Jared turns his head and pulls up Jensen’s t-shirt to kiss his stomach. Warm and soft-skinned and just the hint of a golden treasure trail. “Is this a bad idea? Us, I mean.”
Jensen laughs again, his hips jutting forward when Jared lets the kiss linger, wet and warm above Jensen’s belly button. “Maybe. Probably.”
Breathe in. “You want out?”
“No.”
Breathe out. “Ok. Good.”
He nibbles playfully at Jensen’s hipbone and then unwraps his arms to let himself fall backwards on the bed, smiling happily up at Jensen. “Ok, so… I figure I walk around with each for about a day and by the time we wrap the episode I should be good to go.”
Jensen blinks. “You’re gonna walk around with a butt plug up your ass? On set?”
“Yep.” He leers. This is the best idea he’s ever had. “Won’t that do wonders for Dean’s ‘brotherly love’?”
“Dude, you’re evil. Dean doesn’t have Sam’s baggy pants.” Jensen groans and adjusts himself with a scowl. “You’ll be lucky if there’s any blood left in my dick after those ten days.”
Jared laughs and then grabs the big pink one and throws it into the far corner of the room. “Make that nine, man. No way I’m putting that gigantic thing up my ass.”
“Thank God. It was giving my dick issues.”
“Yeah?” Jared crosses his ankles behind Jensen’s knees and jerks him forward so he falls, arms flailing, on top of Jared with an oomph. “It has nothing to worry about but let me assure it anyway.”
They forget all about the butt plugs until Jared flips them over and lands Jensen smack on top of the colourful display. The oddly shaped bruises over his back the next couple of days are almost worth it for all the kissing Jared does to make up for them.
Continued here.