Fic: The Ultimate Gay Test 2 or the Padalecki Plan of Penetration. Part 1. RPS. Jensen/Jared. NC-17
I didn't manage to finish the whole thing before the deadline but here is the first part.
Title: The Ultimate Gay Test 2 or The Padalecki Plan of Penetration, part 1 of 3
Author: felisblanco
Fandom: SPN RPS
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: NC-17
Word count: ca. 4800 (this part)
Summary: Ok, so there's been kissing and... other stuff. But if Jared's gonna go gay he's going all the way, baby. Now how to get Jensen's dick in his ass...
A/N: This is a follow up to The Ultimate Gay Test or Whether Or Not To Lick Jensen Ackles but can very well stand on its own. It was written for the j2_otpathon. My prompts were: J2, Jensen's trailer, Jared's hands, rimming, blowjob, first time of some sort... Yeah, I may have added a few kinks and places, as you will see. Hope that's ok.
Beta'd by spangels_girl. Thank you so much, darling.
The Ultimate Gay Test 2 or the Padalecki Plan of Penetration. Part 1
The trouble about dating Jensen-
No, wait.
The trouble about having occasional casual sex - that probably doesn’t mean anything, Jared knows, it’s not like they’re holding hands and reading each other poetry or anything and is it really sex if they haven’t actually… well, put anything other than fingers up there? - with Jensen is that just the sight of him brings up amazingly vivid images that have very embarrassing effects on certain parts of Jared’s anatomy at the most inconvenient times.
Jared’s pretty sure that when Kripke wanted Sam to ‘lay himself bare’ and just ‘put it all out there, Jared,’ he wasn’t talking about Jared’s dick. Or if he was… well, then Jared signed up for a whole different show than he thought. Which actually wouldn’t be such a bad thing, he thinks, since at least then this problem with his dick would be swiftly taken care of.
Instead he’s staring with Sam’s soulful eyes out of the window of the Impala, trying to put himself in the right mindset for mourning his dead girlfriend. Grief and hard-ons don’t really go together that well.
‘Sad. Think sad. Your girlfriend got burned up on the ceiling by… something. Do we even know yet? Not like they ever tell us shit. Like when is Dean gonna take his shirt off? Damn. Ok, focus. You’ve been forced back to the life you hated. So mix in some anger there. And the brother you haven’t talked to in two years is right by your side and you kinda hate him because everything seems so simple and easy for him and why the hell isn’t he having problems with his dick? All he does is sit there, doing shit all but looking pretty, and I’m about to come in my pants! Bet I could pull it out and jerk off until I come all over the fucking dashboard and he wouldn’t even bat an eye, the smug bastard.
Stop it! Not Jensen. Dean. He’s Dean. And I’m Sam. And we’re brothers, remember? So no jerking off in the Impala. At least not when we’re in character. And the cameras are rolling.
Although…
No!
Where was I? Yeah, right. Sam. Sad and angry. And feeling guilty.’
Jared swallows. That he can do. He still hasn’t told Sandy and has no idea how. Seriously, how do you tell someone something like that? ‘So, Sandy… Remember Jensen? Yeah, him. Right. We’re kinda… well, involved. You know, kissing. And doing… other stuff. Which I guess makes me gay. Or bi. Whatever. I haven’t really figured that out yet. And I think I might be in love with him even if he’s probably just fooling around with me and… Well, just thought you should know so… yeah. Ok, bye.’
Just the thought of it has his heart racing and the taste of bile rising in his throat. She’s like… awesome. In every way. Beautiful and sexy and fun and so sweet and kind he’d wanted to take her home to meet his momma the minute he met her, Maxim's shots be damned.
And he does love her. Really. He’s just not sure he’s in love with her anymore. Not when all he can think about is Jensen and the way he smiles and laughs and smells and the freckles sprinkled across his skin and that glint in his eyes and…
God, he’s got it bad. Much worse than he ever did with Sandy. Which makes him feel even worse. Sandy doesn’t deserve being treated like this. She even called last night while he was sprawled in front of the TV, Jensen’s lips wrapped around his dick. Listening to his girlfriend go on and on about how much she misses him while his… co-star, fuckbuddy, whatever, sucks him off? Yeah, that was a whole new level of wrongness that he’d never think he’d reach. And still just the thought of it has him growing even harder. Shit. Thank God Sam’s pants are baggy or-
“You okay?”
The hand briefly touching his chest makes him jump and he turns to Jensen with a fake smile. “Yeah. Yeah. Just… thinking, you know.”
Jensen frowns at him and then there’s a loud shout of ‘cut’ and Jensen sighs and shakes his head. “Dude, that’s not your line.”
What? Oh crap.
“Man, what’s up with you?” There’s a hint of irritation in Jensen’s voice and Jared can’t really blame him. “You’re zoning out in the middle of a scene? What the hell, Jare?”
“Sorry.” Jared can feel himself blushing and he offers an apologetic smile to Kripke and waves to the crew. “Sorry!”
They smile back. It’s still early in the day or he would be getting glares instead. One of the cameramen calls Eric over for a consult and Jared uses the brief break to calm down the blood raging through his veins. Deep breaths. In through the nose and out through the mouth. Or was it the other way around?
“So what were you thinking about?”
Jared looks up to find Jensen watching him with an odd look in his eyes that’s almost hidden by his easy smile. They might know each other better than two guys playing brothers really should but half the time Jared still doesn’t know how to read Jensen. Sometime he wonders if he ever will. The guy keeps his thoughts and feelings pretty locked up and right now Jared’s not sure whether he’s genuinely interested or pissed off or what. So telling him ‘I got distracted thinking about you sucking my dick’ might not be the best idea. Instead he feigns boredom, picking at the hem of his shirt.
“Nothing.”
Jensen’s stares at him for a moment, then his eyes go hard, his lips thin. “Alright. Whatever.”
Damn. Jared looks hastily around and then leans over, lowering his voice to a whisper. “I’m just… I’ve got a small problem.” And to his horror he can feel himself blushing.
Jensen turns to look at him, eyes blinking. Then he lets them slide down Jared’s body until they reach his lap before raising his gaze again. Despite everything Jared’s relieved to find the hard look gone, replaced by amusement. “Doesn’t look that small to me.”
“Shut up. It’s not… It won’t go away,” he hisses. “Stop laughing! You know, this is all your-“
There’s a knock on the window and he jumps, face turning scarlet red. Kim is looking in at them with raised eyebrows and when Jared rolls down the window he pops his head almost all the way in. “Yeah, just thought I’d remind you guys…” He taps his headphones and smirks. “Mic’s still on.”
Jared freezes, taking in the grins of the crew surrounding the car, and tries frantically to remember exactly what he’d just said. Not ‘ Ain’t my fault you make me hard’ or ‘You better take care of this in your trailer later’ or anything like that, right? Right?
“Give the kid a break. He’s young. All those hormones…”
Jared swings around in his seat to find Jensen with a hyena grin on his face. “Dude!”
“Aaww, don’t be like that. We’re just jealous ‘cause we’re old and frigid. Right, Kim?”
“Right. Sure.” Kim snorts. “You need a break to take care of your ‘little problem’, Jared?”
“No!”
Whatever problem he’d had it’s all gone now. He’s actually pretty sure he’ll never have that particular ‘problem’ ever again. In fact, he can probably put up an obituary for his dick. ‘Died of embarrassment. Please send your condolences to Jensen’s mouth’.
“Can we please just…? God! I’m fine. No break.”
“Hey, we can take five, no problem.” Kim tilts his head. “Five’s enough, right? Strapping young lad like you…”
Oh God. They are never ever gonna let him forget this, are they? He hides his face in his hands and groans. “Jensen, will you please kill him for me? And everyone else, thank you.”
“Jared?”
“Yeah?” He looks up and straight into Jensen’s camera phone as it goes ‘click’. What the fuck? “Jen!”
Jensen grins and Jared can’t understand how he ever found Jensen’s lips pretty because those right there? Pure evil.
“This one I’m sending Mike.”
“You wouldn’t!”
“Oh, I so would.”
Jared makes a grab for the phone but Jensen is out of the car and on the run in the blink of an eye. By the time Jared has stumbled out on his own side Jensen is half across the set, pushing frantically at the buttons on his phone. Oh no. Nonono.
“Jensen!”
Jensen only laughs. A very, very evil laugh. How did Jared never notice how very evil Jensen is? “This is priceless.” He waves the phone in triumph. “And there it goes!”
“I’m gonna kill you!” Jared manages to catch the collar of Dean’s leather jacket but Jensen slips out of it and ducks behind Big Don, then swerves and runs around the car.
“What you gonna do, Jare?” he pants, shoulders shaking with laughter. “Beat me over the head with your ‘little problem’?”
“You? Are dead. Dead! Do you hear me?” Jared tries to grab him over the roof of the Impala but again Jensen ducks to the side before running in the opposite direction.
“Guys! Will you just… Guys! Fine! Just ruin the day, won’t ya?” Eric throws up his hands in defeat. “We’re taking a break. Twenty minutes.”
He mutters some heavy swearing under his breath as Jensen yells, “Help!” over his shoulder before disappearing between the trailers, Jared on his heels. Damn kids.
Jared runs around both his trailer and Jensen’s and five others before he finally stops, hands on his knees as he doubles over, fighting for breath. Fuck, where did Jensen go? There are about a dozen trailers and he could be hiding behind, or even under, any of them. Sneaky little bastard.
A gravelly sound makes him freeze and hold his breath, straining his ears. Oh yeah. There you are. He waits completely still for a little while longer, pinpointing the sound, then quickly jumps up and swings around the corner, catching sight of Jensen disappearing into his trailer.
Aha! So he cheats as well? Think it’s about time Jenny boy got what he deserves.
Jared tiptoes over to the door, waits a minute while listening for any sounds, then takes a deep breath before grabbing the handle and swinging the door open. “Gotcha!”
He freezes.
Jensen is leaning against the small kitchen cupboard, his breath heaving, a smirk plastered on his lips. He’s wearing Dean’s boots and jeans, top two buttons undone, and nothing else. “Took you long enough.”
‘Close your mouth ‘fore it fills with flies, JT,’ his momma would say but thankfully she’s not here because one, not a convenient time and two, he’s not sure he has enough brain function to manage even that. “Wha… What are you doing?”
“Thought you had a problem.” Jensen pushes himself away from the cupboard and walks over, grabbing on to Sam’s belt. “Want me to take care of it?”
And just like that? It’s back.
Jared stumbles in the door as Jensen walks backwards, dragging him by his belt buckle toward the small couch. “You played me. You tricked me to follow you here.”
“Duh.” Jensen snaps open the belt and tugs at the button. “Are you gonna help me out here or what? Eric said twenty minutes.”
Jared blinks. Then he’s fumbling frantically with Sam’s pants, pulling down the zipper and shoving jeans and boxer briefs down to his knees as fast as he can. Jensen already has the jacket and hoodie off Jared’s shoulders and halfway down his arms and within seconds Jared’s left in only his tee and with his pants around his ankles. Which feels stupid so he kicks them off and pulls the t-shirt over his head, throwing it to the side. The fact that Jensen’s still in his jeans and boots only makes him harder.
Jensen steps back and gives him an appreciative look before licking his lips, eyebrow cocked suggestively. “What you want, Jare? Hand or mouth?”
“Jesus!”
The eyebrow crawls higher. “Not sure I can manage that.”
“I mean… Fuck, Jen. Your mouth. Please. God.”
Jensen gives him a sultry smile, eyes darkening, and then he’s sinking to his knees, hands running down Jared’s hips until they’re palming his thighs. “You’re lucky Sam’s pants are so baggy or Dean’s brotherly love would take a whole new direction, having that in his face all damn day.”
He gives Jared a grin, then nuzzles into the wiry hairs in his groin and fuck if that isn’t the sexiest thing ever. Jared fumbles with one hand until he finds the corner of the couch behind him and grabs on for dear life, his other hand reaching out to curl on Jensen’s shoulder.
“Sam… Sam’s not been feeling too brotherly either.” He gasps as the tip of Jensen’s tongue runs over the head of his cock. “Fuck, Jen!”
Jensen chuckles. “Not now.” He licks a line up Jared’s cock, then swirls his tongue around the head a few times before pulling back, smacking his lips.
“Oh-okay…”
Oh God. Jared sucks in his breath as he’s swallowed down. How does Jen do that? He’s like a damn Hoover. A very wet and warm and silky-soft Hoover. Jesus!
“Whe-when then?”
Jensen stills, and then looks up, Jared’s cock sliding out of his mouth.
“When? You want to…?” He suddenly looks uncertain, licking his lips nervously. “I mean… Are we…?”
“What?” Jared’s trying to gather his thoughts because he’s pretty sure he’s missing something important but half his brain has leaked down to his dick. “You don’t want to?”
Jensen looks down again, hot puffs of air tickling Jared’s wet cock. “Yeah. I mean... Sure. Now?”
“Think we’ll need more than twenty minutes for that.”
Jensen laughs nervously then he glances up with an unreadable look in his eyes. Before Jared has the chance to ask him if everything’s all right he’s being shoved to the side and then he’s falling down on the couch, arms flailing. “Jen!”
“Come on, lay back. Spread your legs.”
Jared suddenly panics. This wasn’t exactly how he imagined losing his backdoor virginity. Too little time and the couch is ridiculously small and… God, did they even lock the door? “Jensen. Wait. I’m not…”
“Sshh. Relax. You’ll like this.” Jensen pushes up his thighs
“Wha-?” And then his brain short circuits because Jensen? Is licking his ass. With his tongue! Ok, of course his tongue since licking… yeah. But... tongue! There! Up his crack and swirling around his entrance and… Nngh!
He’s dead. There’s no other explanation for it. He’s dead and gone to Heaven and apparently there’s rimming there. Which… huh. Weird. And probably not what most people expect.
He’s brought suddenly back to earth when Jensen yelps and digs his fingers into Jared’s thigh muscles. “Ow!”
“Shit!” Jared pulls his cramping fingers out of Jensen’s hair. “I’m sorry.”
“’S okay,” Jensen grumbles. “Just… ow.” He rubs a hand over his head. “Thought you’d rip my scalp off.”
“Sorry. You just surprised me.” Jared laughs nervously. “What the hell was that?”
Jensen sits back, giving him an incredulous look. “I have to explain it to you?”
“No, I mean…” He blushes. “Why did you do that?”
Jensen looks away and shrugs. “Just figured if we’re gonna fuck later you could use a few pointers about prepping, that’s all. I mean, I know you’ve never done it before so…”
“Oh. Okay.” Jared frowns. “Wait. You want me to fuck you?”
Jensen stiffens then looks back at him, eyes wary. “I thought that’s what you wanted. Didn’t you just say…?”
“Uh… I was thinking more the other way around.”
Jensen just stares at him. “Oh.” He blinks. “Oh. You…? Oh.”
“Yeah.” Jared suddenly feels awkward and stupid all naked with his wet ass practically in Jensen’s face, and sits up, running a shaky hand through his damp hair. “I mean… We don’t have to if you don’t…” Fuck. “We can just do this. Or something else. Or…nothing. We don’t have to do anything. It’s okay. I mean, I’m okay. I can just…”
“Jared? Shut up.”
“Ok.” He waits a beat, watching Jensen as he runs a hand across his face then back to his neck, rubbing it. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. It’s just…” Jensen swallows, his cheeks turning an adorable pink. “I’ve never topped.”
Jared blinks. “What?”
“Topped. I never top. Not with a guy. I’m always… Yeah.” He gives a shaky laugh and shrugs as if it’s nothing.
“Huh.” Jared blinks again. Granted, he hasn’t been consciously gay for more than a few months but he kinda thought once you were doing it, you did all of it. “That’s…” He stops. “Yeah, I don’t know what that is.” He frowns in confusion. “Why?”
Jensen shrugs again, the blush traveling up his face and down his chest. “I don’t know. That’s just what happens.”
“Oh.” Jared suddenly has this image of Jensen on his hands and knees in front of a row of guys waiting their turn. “You do this a lot?”
The moment the words slip out he wants to kick himself. Jensen’s eyes go cold, there’s a quick twitch to his lips and then he glances at Dean’s watch before giving Jared a pointed look. “Ten minutes left. You wanna talk or come?”
“I wanna ta-” Jared gasps as Jensen sucks him back into his mouth. “But that can wait. Fuck, Jen. You… yes. Right… God… there… and… Jesus! I’m gonna… Jen!”
Jensen sits back, wiping the back of his hand over his mouth before standing up. “Better freshen up. Five minutes.”
Jared’s head is swimming, cheeks flushed red, and he stares at Jensen as he walks over to the other side of the trailer, picking up the clothes he discarded earlier. Isn’t until he’s pulling on the t-shirt that Jared finally manages to make his brain connect with his mouth. “Wait! Jen, you haven’t… Come on. Get over here.”
“No time. I’m all right.” Jensen gives him a quick smile but it doesn’t reach his eyes and he’s out the door before Jared has time to call him back.
Shit.
Jared falls back on the couch, still heaving for breath. He feels all wrong. Guilty. Which is stupid because he didn’t force Jensen into doing anything? But right now he feels like that one time Chad bought him a hooker (“Not a real Hollywood actor until you’ve been sucked by a five star prostitute, man!”) and he tried not to thrust too far down her throat, even if she was clearly used to it, because she’d looked about fifteen and reminded him scarily of one of Megan’s friends. Made him feel dirty and kinda sick. And even if he’d blamed the alcohol for all the puking he’d done later that night he’d known what had brought it on.
And that’s pretty much how he feels now. Like he’d done something dirty and not in a good way. In the three weeks they’ve been doing this - Or six months and three weeks, really. There had been the pilot and then six months of Jared hovering by the phone as he waited for news if the show was getting picked up, refusing to even think of Jensen. And then suddenly he was back in Vancouver, in Jensen’s trailer, on Jensen’s couch and in Jensen’s mouth and he never wanted to leave, ever - he has to admit he’s been more on the receiving end. He didn’t really mean for it to turn out that way, Jensen is just awfully quick (and so goddamn hot!) dropping to his knees and it’s hard to argue when someone is sucking your brain out through your dick.
The few times it’s been Jared on his knees Jensen pretty much loses it, legs shaking and hands flailing, moans and whimpers singing sweetly in Jared’s ears, so it’s not as if Jared’s bad at it, he hopes, it’s just that if they start the other way… Well, once Jensen’s blown him Jared’s not much good for anything and so it usually ends with Jensen jerking himself off while Jared watches him with drooping eyes, slurring ‘Yeah, Jensen, yeah. Come on,’ as he tries to stay awake.
Come to think of it, Jared’s been a selfish prick (in more sense than one) and he thinks it’s about time he did something about that. First step? Getting Jensen’s dick up Jared’s ass. Yep, that sounds like a good plan.
By the time he gets back to the set Jensen’s already in the Impala and every member of the crew turns to look at Jared with a grin. At first he thinks they might know and feels panic rise in his throat. Then he realizes the ‘little problem’ joke is still going strong and apparently now they all think he really did go off to ‘take care of it.’ Which is true, in a way, but he really has no desire for everyone he works with to imagine him jerking off in his trailer. Even if he suspects he still looks flushed and sweaty and he has a feeling he buttoned his shirt up wrong. Think fast, Jared. Think fast.
“There he is!” He stalks over to the Impala and wrenches the door open. “You think you’ve punk’d me? I just emailed Chad your yearbook pics. Ha! Lo-ho-se-her!”
Jensen just blinks up at him. “Dude, those pictures have been on the internet for years. You’ve got nothing.”
“Oh.” Jared frowns. Ok, for a lie that was a pretty lame one. “Really? Damn.” He slides into the passenger seat, putting on his best pout. “They're still such cheesy pictures. ‘Most attractive?’ I mean, hell. How ugly were the other guys at your school?”
“Funny. You, man, are just hilarious. I’m peeing myself here,” Jensen deadpans but the cold look in his eyes is gone, replaced by the familiar glint that makes Jared’s heart skip a beat. “So… You ready to roll?”
He jerks his head in Eric’s direction and him and Jared both give their producer wide grins, which are answered by a roll of eyes. Then Eric starts barking orders and everyone’s back to business.
It’s a long day that turns into a long night and when they finally stumble off set at two o’clock in the morning, sex is the furthest thing from Jared’s mind. He just wants to get out of these clothes that are starting to reek, have a hot shower and then crash into bed and sleep. And sleep and sleep and sleep until the sky turns red and the ocean into yoghurt. Or at least until noon. God, he’s dead, he’s so tired. Dead, dead, dead, dead, de-
“Hey, Jare?”
“Yeah?”
“Wanna come over for a beer?”
“Ok.”
Sleep is overrated anyway.
-------------
Ever since that first time they got together Jared’s been careful with any kind of alcohol. Not that being drunk off his ass and hitting on Jensen had been a bad idea because hello! Look where it lead. But he has a tendency to blabber on about things he probably should keep to himself when he’s drunk and like he said, Jensen hasn’t really given much of himself yet. It’s not that Jared doesn’t trust the guy; it’s more that he doesn’t really trust this. Like what are they and where are they going with this and is Jensen having any feelings that come close to what Jared is feeling? And until he knows, or at least has enough hints that he might guess, Jared’s not gonna get drunk and possibly blurt out to Jensen that he’s in love with him or something equally disastrous.
So if his sister, or even Chad, had been there (thank god, they’re not) they probably would have reminded him of that time he stayed up until five in the morning and then drank a bottle of cider and consequently spent the night in lockup for indecent behavior. (“It’s not really pole-dancing if it’s a streetlight, officer.”) Which is to say that Jared is a lightweight and when tired he’s about as light as a feather. And boy is he tired now.
“So Jen, what’s with the blowjobs, man?”
Jensen glances over at him from where he’s sprawled on the other end of the couch, lips still swollen and glistening. “Huh?”
“Don’t get me wrong, they’re great. Hell, you’re like the best blowjobber in the whole world.”
Jensen raises his eyebrow, a small smile curling his lips. “Blowjobber?”
“No?” Jared frowns. “Blowjob person? Whatever. You suck like no person has sucked before.”
Now it’s Jensen’s turn to frown. “Ookaay. That’s kinda insulting, man.”
“What? No! No, no. It’s a compliment, Jen. You do blowjobs good. Like… wow. And I know I’m… I’m not that good.” Jared sticks out his lower lip, shaking his head sadly. “I bet I’m awful.”
“You’re not awful, Jare,” Jensen snorts. “Believe me, you’re far from awful.”
“Yeah? See though, I think, yeah. I need…yeah.” Jared nods to himself. “I need to practice. I need to practice on you, Jen.”
“Uh, okay. Practice is always good.”
“Right. ‘Cause all I know… I mean, this whole gay stuff thing, or bi or… cocksucking. Yeah. All that I’ve learned from you so I know the technique, man, I just need to… practice.”
“Sounds like a plan.” Jensen sticks up his thumb and nods approvingly. “I like a man with a plan.”
He starts undoing his jeans but Jared leans over and grabs Jensen’s wrist, shaking his head. “Not gonna blow you, man, not now.”
Jensen pouts slightly then waves his free hand dismissively. “Whatever.” He yawns and runs his fingers over Jared’s wrist. “I’m too tired anyway.”
“No, I mean…” Jared has a feeling he’s saying it all wrong. Whatever it is he’s trying to say. What was it again? “Listen. I’m trying to make a point here so listen, ok?”
“There’s a point to blowjobs?”
“Yes. The point… Ok, I forgot the point.” Jared scrunches up his face as he tries to remember. Something about Jensen’s dick. Yeah. Right. “Your dick needs to go up my ass, man.”
Jensen freezes, the sleepy look in his eyes instantly gone. “What!?!”
“Your dick needs…” Jared sighs at the confused and slightly shocked expression on Jensen’s face. “I want you to fuck me, Jen.”
“What? Now?”
“Sure.” Jared pauses and thinks it over. “Ok, maybe not now ‘cause I’m so wasted and I wanna remember it.” He gives Jensen his best little-boy look. “You taught me about blowjobs, right? So you need to teach me the sex stuff too.”
Jensen swallows, pulling his hand free of Jared’s grasp. “Jare…”
“No, really. I want your dick up my ass, man.” Jared nods solemnly. “I mean, I want my dick up your ass too but I dunno how to do it so… You need to teach me.” He smiles smugly. Not even Jensen can argue with that magnificent logic.
But Jensen shakes his head, mouth set in a thin line. “Dude, it’s not rocket science. You slick it up and push it in, that’s pretty much it.”
“Nuhuh.” Jared shakes his head. “Like that licking thing? I mean… wow. I’d never have thought of that. And I bet there’s other stuff, lots of gay sex stuff, I don’t know either.” He leans forward and sort of tumbles over until he falls with his head in Jensen’s lap. “Jen, you whimper like a girl when I put a couple of fingers up your ass. Have you seen my dick? I mean… obviously, but… It’s bigger than my fingers, dude. Way bigger. I’m not gonna just shove it in there.”
Jensen looks down at him with an odd smile and then his fingers are in Jared’s hair, running slowly through it. “I’m not exactly a virgin, Jare. And yeah, so it’s been a while, but I think I can take your dick. Even if it’s bigger than your gigantic fingers.”
“Waaaay bigger.”
“Even if it’s way bigger than your gigantic fingers.”
He smiles again but this time it’s genuine and Jared smiles back up at him, before closing his eyes and snuggling his nose into Jensen’s crotch. “I love your dick, man.”
Jensen chuckles at that. “You are so drunk, you know that?”
“Whatever. Still love your dick. And you, Jen. Love you, man.”
Jensen’s fingers still in Jared’s hair and he makes a soft mewling sound in protest. But he’s too tired to argue and instead just sighs and mumbles, “Sleep now.”
He thinks he hears Jensen whisper “Fuck, Jay,” but it’s far away and didn’t they decide they weren’t gonna do that until he was sober anyway? Or at least not drunk off his ass because that leads to bad things, he knows, although he can’t remember what exactly.
He’ll think about it in the morning.
Continued here
Title: The Ultimate Gay Test 2 or The Padalecki Plan of Penetration, part 1 of 3
Author: felisblanco
Fandom: SPN RPS
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rating: NC-17
Word count: ca. 4800 (this part)
Summary: Ok, so there's been kissing and... other stuff. But if Jared's gonna go gay he's going all the way, baby. Now how to get Jensen's dick in his ass...
A/N: This is a follow up to The Ultimate Gay Test or Whether Or Not To Lick Jensen Ackles but can very well stand on its own. It was written for the j2_otpathon. My prompts were: J2, Jensen's trailer, Jared's hands, rimming, blowjob, first time of some sort... Yeah, I may have added a few kinks and places, as you will see. Hope that's ok.
Beta'd by spangels_girl. Thank you so much, darling.
The Ultimate Gay Test 2 or the Padalecki Plan of Penetration. Part 1
The trouble about dating Jensen-
No, wait.
The trouble about having occasional casual sex - that probably doesn’t mean anything, Jared knows, it’s not like they’re holding hands and reading each other poetry or anything and is it really sex if they haven’t actually… well, put anything other than fingers up there? - with Jensen is that just the sight of him brings up amazingly vivid images that have very embarrassing effects on certain parts of Jared’s anatomy at the most inconvenient times.
Jared’s pretty sure that when Kripke wanted Sam to ‘lay himself bare’ and just ‘put it all out there, Jared,’ he wasn’t talking about Jared’s dick. Or if he was… well, then Jared signed up for a whole different show than he thought. Which actually wouldn’t be such a bad thing, he thinks, since at least then this problem with his dick would be swiftly taken care of.
Instead he’s staring with Sam’s soulful eyes out of the window of the Impala, trying to put himself in the right mindset for mourning his dead girlfriend. Grief and hard-ons don’t really go together that well.
‘Sad. Think sad. Your girlfriend got burned up on the ceiling by… something. Do we even know yet? Not like they ever tell us shit. Like when is Dean gonna take his shirt off? Damn. Ok, focus. You’ve been forced back to the life you hated. So mix in some anger there. And the brother you haven’t talked to in two years is right by your side and you kinda hate him because everything seems so simple and easy for him and why the hell isn’t he having problems with his dick? All he does is sit there, doing shit all but looking pretty, and I’m about to come in my pants! Bet I could pull it out and jerk off until I come all over the fucking dashboard and he wouldn’t even bat an eye, the smug bastard.
Stop it! Not Jensen. Dean. He’s Dean. And I’m Sam. And we’re brothers, remember? So no jerking off in the Impala. At least not when we’re in character. And the cameras are rolling.
Although…
No!
Where was I? Yeah, right. Sam. Sad and angry. And feeling guilty.’
Jared swallows. That he can do. He still hasn’t told Sandy and has no idea how. Seriously, how do you tell someone something like that? ‘So, Sandy… Remember Jensen? Yeah, him. Right. We’re kinda… well, involved. You know, kissing. And doing… other stuff. Which I guess makes me gay. Or bi. Whatever. I haven’t really figured that out yet. And I think I might be in love with him even if he’s probably just fooling around with me and… Well, just thought you should know so… yeah. Ok, bye.’
Just the thought of it has his heart racing and the taste of bile rising in his throat. She’s like… awesome. In every way. Beautiful and sexy and fun and so sweet and kind he’d wanted to take her home to meet his momma the minute he met her, Maxim's shots be damned.
And he does love her. Really. He’s just not sure he’s in love with her anymore. Not when all he can think about is Jensen and the way he smiles and laughs and smells and the freckles sprinkled across his skin and that glint in his eyes and…
God, he’s got it bad. Much worse than he ever did with Sandy. Which makes him feel even worse. Sandy doesn’t deserve being treated like this. She even called last night while he was sprawled in front of the TV, Jensen’s lips wrapped around his dick. Listening to his girlfriend go on and on about how much she misses him while his… co-star, fuckbuddy, whatever, sucks him off? Yeah, that was a whole new level of wrongness that he’d never think he’d reach. And still just the thought of it has him growing even harder. Shit. Thank God Sam’s pants are baggy or-
“You okay?”
The hand briefly touching his chest makes him jump and he turns to Jensen with a fake smile. “Yeah. Yeah. Just… thinking, you know.”
Jensen frowns at him and then there’s a loud shout of ‘cut’ and Jensen sighs and shakes his head. “Dude, that’s not your line.”
What? Oh crap.
“Man, what’s up with you?” There’s a hint of irritation in Jensen’s voice and Jared can’t really blame him. “You’re zoning out in the middle of a scene? What the hell, Jare?”
“Sorry.” Jared can feel himself blushing and he offers an apologetic smile to Kripke and waves to the crew. “Sorry!”
They smile back. It’s still early in the day or he would be getting glares instead. One of the cameramen calls Eric over for a consult and Jared uses the brief break to calm down the blood raging through his veins. Deep breaths. In through the nose and out through the mouth. Or was it the other way around?
“So what were you thinking about?”
Jared looks up to find Jensen watching him with an odd look in his eyes that’s almost hidden by his easy smile. They might know each other better than two guys playing brothers really should but half the time Jared still doesn’t know how to read Jensen. Sometime he wonders if he ever will. The guy keeps his thoughts and feelings pretty locked up and right now Jared’s not sure whether he’s genuinely interested or pissed off or what. So telling him ‘I got distracted thinking about you sucking my dick’ might not be the best idea. Instead he feigns boredom, picking at the hem of his shirt.
“Nothing.”
Jensen’s stares at him for a moment, then his eyes go hard, his lips thin. “Alright. Whatever.”
Damn. Jared looks hastily around and then leans over, lowering his voice to a whisper. “I’m just… I’ve got a small problem.” And to his horror he can feel himself blushing.
Jensen turns to look at him, eyes blinking. Then he lets them slide down Jared’s body until they reach his lap before raising his gaze again. Despite everything Jared’s relieved to find the hard look gone, replaced by amusement. “Doesn’t look that small to me.”
“Shut up. It’s not… It won’t go away,” he hisses. “Stop laughing! You know, this is all your-“
There’s a knock on the window and he jumps, face turning scarlet red. Kim is looking in at them with raised eyebrows and when Jared rolls down the window he pops his head almost all the way in. “Yeah, just thought I’d remind you guys…” He taps his headphones and smirks. “Mic’s still on.”
Jared freezes, taking in the grins of the crew surrounding the car, and tries frantically to remember exactly what he’d just said. Not ‘ Ain’t my fault you make me hard’ or ‘You better take care of this in your trailer later’ or anything like that, right? Right?
“Give the kid a break. He’s young. All those hormones…”
Jared swings around in his seat to find Jensen with a hyena grin on his face. “Dude!”
“Aaww, don’t be like that. We’re just jealous ‘cause we’re old and frigid. Right, Kim?”
“Right. Sure.” Kim snorts. “You need a break to take care of your ‘little problem’, Jared?”
“No!”
Whatever problem he’d had it’s all gone now. He’s actually pretty sure he’ll never have that particular ‘problem’ ever again. In fact, he can probably put up an obituary for his dick. ‘Died of embarrassment. Please send your condolences to Jensen’s mouth’.
“Can we please just…? God! I’m fine. No break.”
“Hey, we can take five, no problem.” Kim tilts his head. “Five’s enough, right? Strapping young lad like you…”
Oh God. They are never ever gonna let him forget this, are they? He hides his face in his hands and groans. “Jensen, will you please kill him for me? And everyone else, thank you.”
“Jared?”
“Yeah?” He looks up and straight into Jensen’s camera phone as it goes ‘click’. What the fuck? “Jen!”
Jensen grins and Jared can’t understand how he ever found Jensen’s lips pretty because those right there? Pure evil.
“This one I’m sending Mike.”
“You wouldn’t!”
“Oh, I so would.”
Jared makes a grab for the phone but Jensen is out of the car and on the run in the blink of an eye. By the time Jared has stumbled out on his own side Jensen is half across the set, pushing frantically at the buttons on his phone. Oh no. Nonono.
“Jensen!”
Jensen only laughs. A very, very evil laugh. How did Jared never notice how very evil Jensen is? “This is priceless.” He waves the phone in triumph. “And there it goes!”
“I’m gonna kill you!” Jared manages to catch the collar of Dean’s leather jacket but Jensen slips out of it and ducks behind Big Don, then swerves and runs around the car.
“What you gonna do, Jare?” he pants, shoulders shaking with laughter. “Beat me over the head with your ‘little problem’?”
“You? Are dead. Dead! Do you hear me?” Jared tries to grab him over the roof of the Impala but again Jensen ducks to the side before running in the opposite direction.
“Guys! Will you just… Guys! Fine! Just ruin the day, won’t ya?” Eric throws up his hands in defeat. “We’re taking a break. Twenty minutes.”
He mutters some heavy swearing under his breath as Jensen yells, “Help!” over his shoulder before disappearing between the trailers, Jared on his heels. Damn kids.
Jared runs around both his trailer and Jensen’s and five others before he finally stops, hands on his knees as he doubles over, fighting for breath. Fuck, where did Jensen go? There are about a dozen trailers and he could be hiding behind, or even under, any of them. Sneaky little bastard.
A gravelly sound makes him freeze and hold his breath, straining his ears. Oh yeah. There you are. He waits completely still for a little while longer, pinpointing the sound, then quickly jumps up and swings around the corner, catching sight of Jensen disappearing into his trailer.
Aha! So he cheats as well? Think it’s about time Jenny boy got what he deserves.
Jared tiptoes over to the door, waits a minute while listening for any sounds, then takes a deep breath before grabbing the handle and swinging the door open. “Gotcha!”
He freezes.
Jensen is leaning against the small kitchen cupboard, his breath heaving, a smirk plastered on his lips. He’s wearing Dean’s boots and jeans, top two buttons undone, and nothing else. “Took you long enough.”
‘Close your mouth ‘fore it fills with flies, JT,’ his momma would say but thankfully she’s not here because one, not a convenient time and two, he’s not sure he has enough brain function to manage even that. “Wha… What are you doing?”
“Thought you had a problem.” Jensen pushes himself away from the cupboard and walks over, grabbing on to Sam’s belt. “Want me to take care of it?”
And just like that? It’s back.
Jared stumbles in the door as Jensen walks backwards, dragging him by his belt buckle toward the small couch. “You played me. You tricked me to follow you here.”
“Duh.” Jensen snaps open the belt and tugs at the button. “Are you gonna help me out here or what? Eric said twenty minutes.”
Jared blinks. Then he’s fumbling frantically with Sam’s pants, pulling down the zipper and shoving jeans and boxer briefs down to his knees as fast as he can. Jensen already has the jacket and hoodie off Jared’s shoulders and halfway down his arms and within seconds Jared’s left in only his tee and with his pants around his ankles. Which feels stupid so he kicks them off and pulls the t-shirt over his head, throwing it to the side. The fact that Jensen’s still in his jeans and boots only makes him harder.
Jensen steps back and gives him an appreciative look before licking his lips, eyebrow cocked suggestively. “What you want, Jare? Hand or mouth?”
“Jesus!”
The eyebrow crawls higher. “Not sure I can manage that.”
“I mean… Fuck, Jen. Your mouth. Please. God.”
Jensen gives him a sultry smile, eyes darkening, and then he’s sinking to his knees, hands running down Jared’s hips until they’re palming his thighs. “You’re lucky Sam’s pants are so baggy or Dean’s brotherly love would take a whole new direction, having that in his face all damn day.”
He gives Jared a grin, then nuzzles into the wiry hairs in his groin and fuck if that isn’t the sexiest thing ever. Jared fumbles with one hand until he finds the corner of the couch behind him and grabs on for dear life, his other hand reaching out to curl on Jensen’s shoulder.
“Sam… Sam’s not been feeling too brotherly either.” He gasps as the tip of Jensen’s tongue runs over the head of his cock. “Fuck, Jen!”
Jensen chuckles. “Not now.” He licks a line up Jared’s cock, then swirls his tongue around the head a few times before pulling back, smacking his lips.
“Oh-okay…”
Oh God. Jared sucks in his breath as he’s swallowed down. How does Jen do that? He’s like a damn Hoover. A very wet and warm and silky-soft Hoover. Jesus!
“Whe-when then?”
Jensen stills, and then looks up, Jared’s cock sliding out of his mouth.
“When? You want to…?” He suddenly looks uncertain, licking his lips nervously. “I mean… Are we…?”
“What?” Jared’s trying to gather his thoughts because he’s pretty sure he’s missing something important but half his brain has leaked down to his dick. “You don’t want to?”
Jensen looks down again, hot puffs of air tickling Jared’s wet cock. “Yeah. I mean... Sure. Now?”
“Think we’ll need more than twenty minutes for that.”
Jensen laughs nervously then he glances up with an unreadable look in his eyes. Before Jared has the chance to ask him if everything’s all right he’s being shoved to the side and then he’s falling down on the couch, arms flailing. “Jen!”
“Come on, lay back. Spread your legs.”
Jared suddenly panics. This wasn’t exactly how he imagined losing his backdoor virginity. Too little time and the couch is ridiculously small and… God, did they even lock the door? “Jensen. Wait. I’m not…”
“Sshh. Relax. You’ll like this.” Jensen pushes up his thighs
“Wha-?” And then his brain short circuits because Jensen? Is licking his ass. With his tongue! Ok, of course his tongue since licking… yeah. But... tongue! There! Up his crack and swirling around his entrance and… Nngh!
He’s dead. There’s no other explanation for it. He’s dead and gone to Heaven and apparently there’s rimming there. Which… huh. Weird. And probably not what most people expect.
He’s brought suddenly back to earth when Jensen yelps and digs his fingers into Jared’s thigh muscles. “Ow!”
“Shit!” Jared pulls his cramping fingers out of Jensen’s hair. “I’m sorry.”
“’S okay,” Jensen grumbles. “Just… ow.” He rubs a hand over his head. “Thought you’d rip my scalp off.”
“Sorry. You just surprised me.” Jared laughs nervously. “What the hell was that?”
Jensen sits back, giving him an incredulous look. “I have to explain it to you?”
“No, I mean…” He blushes. “Why did you do that?”
Jensen looks away and shrugs. “Just figured if we’re gonna fuck later you could use a few pointers about prepping, that’s all. I mean, I know you’ve never done it before so…”
“Oh. Okay.” Jared frowns. “Wait. You want me to fuck you?”
Jensen stiffens then looks back at him, eyes wary. “I thought that’s what you wanted. Didn’t you just say…?”
“Uh… I was thinking more the other way around.”
Jensen just stares at him. “Oh.” He blinks. “Oh. You…? Oh.”
“Yeah.” Jared suddenly feels awkward and stupid all naked with his wet ass practically in Jensen’s face, and sits up, running a shaky hand through his damp hair. “I mean… We don’t have to if you don’t…” Fuck. “We can just do this. Or something else. Or…nothing. We don’t have to do anything. It’s okay. I mean, I’m okay. I can just…”
“Jared? Shut up.”
“Ok.” He waits a beat, watching Jensen as he runs a hand across his face then back to his neck, rubbing it. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. It’s just…” Jensen swallows, his cheeks turning an adorable pink. “I’ve never topped.”
Jared blinks. “What?”
“Topped. I never top. Not with a guy. I’m always… Yeah.” He gives a shaky laugh and shrugs as if it’s nothing.
“Huh.” Jared blinks again. Granted, he hasn’t been consciously gay for more than a few months but he kinda thought once you were doing it, you did all of it. “That’s…” He stops. “Yeah, I don’t know what that is.” He frowns in confusion. “Why?”
Jensen shrugs again, the blush traveling up his face and down his chest. “I don’t know. That’s just what happens.”
“Oh.” Jared suddenly has this image of Jensen on his hands and knees in front of a row of guys waiting their turn. “You do this a lot?”
The moment the words slip out he wants to kick himself. Jensen’s eyes go cold, there’s a quick twitch to his lips and then he glances at Dean’s watch before giving Jared a pointed look. “Ten minutes left. You wanna talk or come?”
“I wanna ta-” Jared gasps as Jensen sucks him back into his mouth. “But that can wait. Fuck, Jen. You… yes. Right… God… there… and… Jesus! I’m gonna… Jen!”
Jensen sits back, wiping the back of his hand over his mouth before standing up. “Better freshen up. Five minutes.”
Jared’s head is swimming, cheeks flushed red, and he stares at Jensen as he walks over to the other side of the trailer, picking up the clothes he discarded earlier. Isn’t until he’s pulling on the t-shirt that Jared finally manages to make his brain connect with his mouth. “Wait! Jen, you haven’t… Come on. Get over here.”
“No time. I’m all right.” Jensen gives him a quick smile but it doesn’t reach his eyes and he’s out the door before Jared has time to call him back.
Shit.
Jared falls back on the couch, still heaving for breath. He feels all wrong. Guilty. Which is stupid because he didn’t force Jensen into doing anything? But right now he feels like that one time Chad bought him a hooker (“Not a real Hollywood actor until you’ve been sucked by a five star prostitute, man!”) and he tried not to thrust too far down her throat, even if she was clearly used to it, because she’d looked about fifteen and reminded him scarily of one of Megan’s friends. Made him feel dirty and kinda sick. And even if he’d blamed the alcohol for all the puking he’d done later that night he’d known what had brought it on.
And that’s pretty much how he feels now. Like he’d done something dirty and not in a good way. In the three weeks they’ve been doing this - Or six months and three weeks, really. There had been the pilot and then six months of Jared hovering by the phone as he waited for news if the show was getting picked up, refusing to even think of Jensen. And then suddenly he was back in Vancouver, in Jensen’s trailer, on Jensen’s couch and in Jensen’s mouth and he never wanted to leave, ever - he has to admit he’s been more on the receiving end. He didn’t really mean for it to turn out that way, Jensen is just awfully quick (and so goddamn hot!) dropping to his knees and it’s hard to argue when someone is sucking your brain out through your dick.
The few times it’s been Jared on his knees Jensen pretty much loses it, legs shaking and hands flailing, moans and whimpers singing sweetly in Jared’s ears, so it’s not as if Jared’s bad at it, he hopes, it’s just that if they start the other way… Well, once Jensen’s blown him Jared’s not much good for anything and so it usually ends with Jensen jerking himself off while Jared watches him with drooping eyes, slurring ‘Yeah, Jensen, yeah. Come on,’ as he tries to stay awake.
Come to think of it, Jared’s been a selfish prick (in more sense than one) and he thinks it’s about time he did something about that. First step? Getting Jensen’s dick up Jared’s ass. Yep, that sounds like a good plan.
By the time he gets back to the set Jensen’s already in the Impala and every member of the crew turns to look at Jared with a grin. At first he thinks they might know and feels panic rise in his throat. Then he realizes the ‘little problem’ joke is still going strong and apparently now they all think he really did go off to ‘take care of it.’ Which is true, in a way, but he really has no desire for everyone he works with to imagine him jerking off in his trailer. Even if he suspects he still looks flushed and sweaty and he has a feeling he buttoned his shirt up wrong. Think fast, Jared. Think fast.
“There he is!” He stalks over to the Impala and wrenches the door open. “You think you’ve punk’d me? I just emailed Chad your yearbook pics. Ha! Lo-ho-se-her!”
Jensen just blinks up at him. “Dude, those pictures have been on the internet for years. You’ve got nothing.”
“Oh.” Jared frowns. Ok, for a lie that was a pretty lame one. “Really? Damn.” He slides into the passenger seat, putting on his best pout. “They're still such cheesy pictures. ‘Most attractive?’ I mean, hell. How ugly were the other guys at your school?”
“Funny. You, man, are just hilarious. I’m peeing myself here,” Jensen deadpans but the cold look in his eyes is gone, replaced by the familiar glint that makes Jared’s heart skip a beat. “So… You ready to roll?”
He jerks his head in Eric’s direction and him and Jared both give their producer wide grins, which are answered by a roll of eyes. Then Eric starts barking orders and everyone’s back to business.
It’s a long day that turns into a long night and when they finally stumble off set at two o’clock in the morning, sex is the furthest thing from Jared’s mind. He just wants to get out of these clothes that are starting to reek, have a hot shower and then crash into bed and sleep. And sleep and sleep and sleep until the sky turns red and the ocean into yoghurt. Or at least until noon. God, he’s dead, he’s so tired. Dead, dead, dead, dead, de-
“Hey, Jare?”
“Yeah?”
“Wanna come over for a beer?”
“Ok.”
Sleep is overrated anyway.
-------------
Ever since that first time they got together Jared’s been careful with any kind of alcohol. Not that being drunk off his ass and hitting on Jensen had been a bad idea because hello! Look where it lead. But he has a tendency to blabber on about things he probably should keep to himself when he’s drunk and like he said, Jensen hasn’t really given much of himself yet. It’s not that Jared doesn’t trust the guy; it’s more that he doesn’t really trust this. Like what are they and where are they going with this and is Jensen having any feelings that come close to what Jared is feeling? And until he knows, or at least has enough hints that he might guess, Jared’s not gonna get drunk and possibly blurt out to Jensen that he’s in love with him or something equally disastrous.
So if his sister, or even Chad, had been there (thank god, they’re not) they probably would have reminded him of that time he stayed up until five in the morning and then drank a bottle of cider and consequently spent the night in lockup for indecent behavior. (“It’s not really pole-dancing if it’s a streetlight, officer.”) Which is to say that Jared is a lightweight and when tired he’s about as light as a feather. And boy is he tired now.
“So Jen, what’s with the blowjobs, man?”
Jensen glances over at him from where he’s sprawled on the other end of the couch, lips still swollen and glistening. “Huh?”
“Don’t get me wrong, they’re great. Hell, you’re like the best blowjobber in the whole world.”
Jensen raises his eyebrow, a small smile curling his lips. “Blowjobber?”
“No?” Jared frowns. “Blowjob person? Whatever. You suck like no person has sucked before.”
Now it’s Jensen’s turn to frown. “Ookaay. That’s kinda insulting, man.”
“What? No! No, no. It’s a compliment, Jen. You do blowjobs good. Like… wow. And I know I’m… I’m not that good.” Jared sticks out his lower lip, shaking his head sadly. “I bet I’m awful.”
“You’re not awful, Jare,” Jensen snorts. “Believe me, you’re far from awful.”
“Yeah? See though, I think, yeah. I need…yeah.” Jared nods to himself. “I need to practice. I need to practice on you, Jen.”
“Uh, okay. Practice is always good.”
“Right. ‘Cause all I know… I mean, this whole gay stuff thing, or bi or… cocksucking. Yeah. All that I’ve learned from you so I know the technique, man, I just need to… practice.”
“Sounds like a plan.” Jensen sticks up his thumb and nods approvingly. “I like a man with a plan.”
He starts undoing his jeans but Jared leans over and grabs Jensen’s wrist, shaking his head. “Not gonna blow you, man, not now.”
Jensen pouts slightly then waves his free hand dismissively. “Whatever.” He yawns and runs his fingers over Jared’s wrist. “I’m too tired anyway.”
“No, I mean…” Jared has a feeling he’s saying it all wrong. Whatever it is he’s trying to say. What was it again? “Listen. I’m trying to make a point here so listen, ok?”
“There’s a point to blowjobs?”
“Yes. The point… Ok, I forgot the point.” Jared scrunches up his face as he tries to remember. Something about Jensen’s dick. Yeah. Right. “Your dick needs to go up my ass, man.”
Jensen freezes, the sleepy look in his eyes instantly gone. “What!?!”
“Your dick needs…” Jared sighs at the confused and slightly shocked expression on Jensen’s face. “I want you to fuck me, Jen.”
“What? Now?”
“Sure.” Jared pauses and thinks it over. “Ok, maybe not now ‘cause I’m so wasted and I wanna remember it.” He gives Jensen his best little-boy look. “You taught me about blowjobs, right? So you need to teach me the sex stuff too.”
Jensen swallows, pulling his hand free of Jared’s grasp. “Jare…”
“No, really. I want your dick up my ass, man.” Jared nods solemnly. “I mean, I want my dick up your ass too but I dunno how to do it so… You need to teach me.” He smiles smugly. Not even Jensen can argue with that magnificent logic.
But Jensen shakes his head, mouth set in a thin line. “Dude, it’s not rocket science. You slick it up and push it in, that’s pretty much it.”
“Nuhuh.” Jared shakes his head. “Like that licking thing? I mean… wow. I’d never have thought of that. And I bet there’s other stuff, lots of gay sex stuff, I don’t know either.” He leans forward and sort of tumbles over until he falls with his head in Jensen’s lap. “Jen, you whimper like a girl when I put a couple of fingers up your ass. Have you seen my dick? I mean… obviously, but… It’s bigger than my fingers, dude. Way bigger. I’m not gonna just shove it in there.”
Jensen looks down at him with an odd smile and then his fingers are in Jared’s hair, running slowly through it. “I’m not exactly a virgin, Jare. And yeah, so it’s been a while, but I think I can take your dick. Even if it’s bigger than your gigantic fingers.”
“Waaaay bigger.”
“Even if it’s way bigger than your gigantic fingers.”
He smiles again but this time it’s genuine and Jared smiles back up at him, before closing his eyes and snuggling his nose into Jensen’s crotch. “I love your dick, man.”
Jensen chuckles at that. “You are so drunk, you know that?”
“Whatever. Still love your dick. And you, Jen. Love you, man.”
Jensen’s fingers still in Jared’s hair and he makes a soft mewling sound in protest. But he’s too tired to argue and instead just sighs and mumbles, “Sleep now.”
He thinks he hears Jensen whisper “Fuck, Jay,” but it’s far away and didn’t they decide they weren’t gonna do that until he was sober anyway? Or at least not drunk off his ass because that leads to bad things, he knows, although he can’t remember what exactly.
He’ll think about it in the morning.
Continued here