This a poem that everyone's favorite uncle wrote when he was obviously drinking. (Note people on anti insanity pills are not suppossed to drink)

"Why Not Drunk"

They say be sober!
on off to A.A.
Why?
Who are they? Do they know
how i feel? like the world
just don't give a "DAMN!"
Why Not DRUNK?
I feel no pain
The mental ghosts that
haunt me ( Read more... )

To truely understand the creepyness of this poem im going to have to give a bit of a backround story to it. It was written about a waitress at a local eatery that Chuck was stalking. So I present to you the second poem in a six part series ( Read more... )

Today I bring to you a very special treat. It is the first of a series of six poems created by everyone's favorite crazy uncle ( Read more... )

I’m your secret Santa; I bring you lots to drink.

So drink until you lose your mind, and puke into the sink

There is a reason you did not get a baseball or a prism,

Cause Cole tonight, when you’re passed out, I’m gonna fill you with my jism.

Merry Christmas asshole, You should really die

If you tried the suicide, nobody would cry

There are many ways to kill yourself, with pills or razor blades

But Cole, you sloppy bastard, I hope you die of AIDS.

Its Easter morning, paint some eggs
Its Easter morning, break some legs
Its Easter morning, drop the soap
Its Easter morning, kill the pope

I've always wanted to slap a nun
Killing immigrants, mighty fun

My lyrical skills will make your brain shit blood
If life were like fireworks, you would surely be a dud

My car does smell of fragrant pines,
so never fly your kite near power lines

I fed a kitten crystal Meth
I hope Louie the lightning bug died a very painful

You can't blame Hitler for the Holocaust
 I made a midget suck my car exhaust

The Muppets they did take Manhattan
 and lord they made my penis fatten

I think Charles Grodon was in that flick
 his existence is horrific, god what a prick

TREES

Droped a baby into a processor of meat

added paprika, oh what a treat

The mailbox just told me that life  ( Read more... )

I recently ordered a festive gold wreath
I tore my urethra on your moms teeth
Genital stitches, hurt like no other
But lord that won't stop me from screwing your brother

*(I am trying something a little different today. These are actually the lyrics to a beautiful love song that I wrote a few months back. It is still a work in progress so please leave feedback on this one especially if you remember a verse that I didn't post, because my memory sucks ass. Also if you dont like the fact that i am recycling old ( Read more... )