i feel like a downer

[egg_shell]

Getting ready for Christmas doesn't excite me much. I feel pretty inadequate. Mostly all I can think of to give the kids and grandkids is money. Depressed, but with nothing to pin the depressed feelings on

Comments

[asakiyume]

I was going to say, you're going through/have been through a lot, and that stuff leaves residual weight, under which it's hard to bear up.

I don't think you're probably addicted to anger. What you've got is lots of people peddling anger to you. "Be angry about this! This is awful! Let me show you how!" And the stuff is awful, but you already know that. You don't need it re-explained to you anew each day. You know what it takes to nurture a plant, an animal, a small child, a friend--or a stranger in need. Those skills are what's needed now (I feel). ... I mean, they're always needed, but I think they're especially needed now.

[egg_shell]

That is an excellent insight - I am having anger peddled to me. And I have been buying into it because I do believe certain things are important so this stuff "speaks" to me.

Yes, carry on - doing what is right and needed.

BTW - loved your story. Liked the twists and it was a good read - a new take on grief and guilt.

[asakiyume]

Thank you so much for reading! I'm really glad it worked for you <3

[gurdonark]

Until last weekend, I had a kind of funny feeling about giving money or gift cards. It's not that I did not give each from time to time. It's that they seemed like such impersonal, not-much-thought-placed gifts

[egg_shell]

Thanks for the input. I agree - sometimes money can be the best gift. Especially as the grandkids are getting older. The days of buying them interesting and fun toys is over. They have bigger ideas of things to buy for themselves now. Thanks.

[rosegardenfae]

I have very similar feelings, the stress of the holidays makes my arrhythmia worse and in turn, my anxiety too. The metoprolol makes me tired which sucks when there's so much to do, So I, too, try to live in the moment. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but after all everything is temporary, especially life. Love you

Oh, I  never pay attention to the news, I'm certain most of it is untrue any way.

[egg_shell]

As it has been said before - getting old ain't for sissies. I'm still a sissy. Though I think as each new challenge happens it takes a while to get used to them. I am noticing I am more tired than before too.

I'm doing a lot more deleting of websites and emails and it feels good!

[howlin_wolf_66]

*hugs*. If it's upsetting you to the point where it's affecting your life, then maybe it's better for you to back away?

[egg_shell]

Yes! I've been using the delete button a lot in the last couple days and it feels good!