"Man, I hate these things. I feel like I'm telling people how to suck eggs. This ain't your first voicemail, so you know what to do. Random pick up lines and dirty talk welcome."

[For muse or mun]

LINK: If you go without it for too long, do you forget how to have sex?

LINK: Am I the only person who got freaked out by Fairy Tales as a kid?

6.17. "Love is... well in a way it's everything. But it's also heartache and disappointment. And those are good things to avoid."
Angel

Co-written with notjstplainjaneSimon glanced over at Sam's empty bed and scrunched his nose up. He didn't mean to be jealous of the poor bastard for being able to move around, but stuff it. He really was green with envy. ( Read more... )

LINK: Dear Santa, God, or whoever is listening, please, please give me back the ability to touch my dick, and considering I've been a really good boy... the ability to stroke it, too.

128.2.E. "I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act; but I do believe in a fate that falls on man unless they act." - G.K. Chesterton

Co-written with notjustsammy
[Follows THIS, THIS and THIS]Simon was beginning to wonder just what the fuck he did for his luck to have gone down the shitter like this. As if being in traction and having ( Read more... )

LINK: Looking something akin to this dude, you would think I could at least get one or two sympathy dates from hot nurses... you know, for when I can actually get my wallet out to pay.

LINK: Nothing quite says "fuck you" to privacy, discretion, and modesty like being stuck in a hospital bed.

You Are Taco Bell


( Read more... )

How many people did you have strong feelings for in '09?
One, and now she can stick it up her ass.

Would you change yourself for the person you like/love?
Maybe... but I doubt I could maintain it before I went back to being me, and that would probably just lead to shit.

Did your last kiss take place on a bed?I'm chained to a bed, and not in a ( Read more... )