I find myself wishing I didn't have hope. I long for the cynicism of my youth if only to prevent the pain I inflict on myself daily. I need to sever my heart from my chest so I can move on and get past what needs to be behind me. I hate that I still long for him. I hate that he's still in my dreams and not in my bed. I hate that I tears that almost ( Read more... )

So I find myself in an odd dilemma. I'm about to be enter RCIA and start my journey to become a Catholic. I'm really looking forward to it and I'm very happy with my choice. But there seems to be a bump in the road of my spiritual path. In order to become a Catholic and go through all the Rites one needs a sponsor to accompany them on this journey ( Read more... )

Totally talking to a hot British dude on the phone. Life is good! :)

I missed him, then I was mad at him, then I started missing him again, then I was confused about him, then I didn't even think about him, then I missed him again, now I miss him but don't want him ( Read more... )

Please let a bus run me over in the street. That way I won't have to be annoyed at myself for being emo and depressing have of my day...because I will be dead.

Love, Patrick.

I WANT TO SCREAM AND SHOUT AND BREAK THINGS AND CRY UNTIL MY EYES BLEED AND SMASH MY WORLD INTO A THOUSAND TINY PIECES!

But I know that that's a bad idea and this will pass in time so I'll just be sad and quiet until then.

Why can't I grow up!? I know why I have reservations about it but I also know that it's needed and inevitable. So then why? Why do I still insist on being some punk kid that can't get his act together. I'm just some lazy fuck that doesn't give two shits about my future. At this rate I'll run myself into the ground and be some dead-beat drop-out. I ( Read more... )

So my boyfriend has got to be the greatest guy on Earth. He treats me like a prince, he gives me everything I want. He's smart, good looking, caring, thoughtful. I can't think of a single bad thing about him.

So why don't I see myself falling in love with him?

I'm nothing but a waste of money and time. I don't know why I don't end it all right now.

My house. It's ridiculously hot and I'm still feel the illness I had like 3 weeks ago. What the hell?