(no subject)
So I find myself in an odd dilemma. I'm about to be enter RCIA and start my journey to become a Catholic. I'm really looking forward to it and I'm very happy with my choice. But there seems to be a bump in the road of my spiritual path. In order to become a Catholic and go through all the Rites one needs a sponsor to accompany them on this journey. At first my sponsor was going be Christopher, he was the one that introduced me to the faith and seems to be the most knowledgeable on the subject. Plus since I lived with him I could ask him anything at anytime.
Now that he and I are no more I'm not sure that I should still have him as my sponsor. He claims he still wants to be there for me and since he does mean a lot to me and this would be a special event that I would still like to share with him, whether or not we are together. But lately he as been increasingly difficult to talk to. I know he's with Mike and that he probably feels uncomfortable talking to me when Mike is around since apparently they fight a lot but still I wish every now and then he would try to respond to a text or something. I know keeping him as my sponsor isn't the best idea and I've already made steps to look for a new sponsor but for now no news has come of from it.
Now I'm not even sure if I should bother telling Chris that I'm thinking about replacing him as sponsor or not. He's just made me so upset by never getting back to me and I hate that I basically can only talk to him in secret so Mike doesn't find out. I don't want to compete with Mike and I don't want Chris to have to do anything shady because of me. I know that if I was Mike and in his position that it would hurt like hell to know my bf was going behind my back to hang out with someone that he once had feelings for. Hell, I've been in that position so I know that pain and it isn't fun.
I guess I'm just mixed up on whether or not I should talk to Chris about it before I make up my mind or not. I guess he deserves to know what I'm thinking since this concerns him but I'm afraid that I may fall for his manipulations that I know he's so good at. I know I should keep my guard up when I talk to him but he always has a way of making me weak and lose my focus. Uggh, why can't these things ever be easy? I guess this is just going to be my first trial of faith. Thanks be to God.
Now that he and I are no more I'm not sure that I should still have him as my sponsor. He claims he still wants to be there for me and since he does mean a lot to me and this would be a special event that I would still like to share with him, whether or not we are together. But lately he as been increasingly difficult to talk to. I know he's with Mike and that he probably feels uncomfortable talking to me when Mike is around since apparently they fight a lot but still I wish every now and then he would try to respond to a text or something. I know keeping him as my sponsor isn't the best idea and I've already made steps to look for a new sponsor but for now no news has come of from it.
Now I'm not even sure if I should bother telling Chris that I'm thinking about replacing him as sponsor or not. He's just made me so upset by never getting back to me and I hate that I basically can only talk to him in secret so Mike doesn't find out. I don't want to compete with Mike and I don't want Chris to have to do anything shady because of me. I know that if I was Mike and in his position that it would hurt like hell to know my bf was going behind my back to hang out with someone that he once had feelings for. Hell, I've been in that position so I know that pain and it isn't fun.
I guess I'm just mixed up on whether or not I should talk to Chris about it before I make up my mind or not. I guess he deserves to know what I'm thinking since this concerns him but I'm afraid that I may fall for his manipulations that I know he's so good at. I know I should keep my guard up when I talk to him but he always has a way of making me weak and lose my focus. Uggh, why can't these things ever be easy? I guess this is just going to be my first trial of faith. Thanks be to God.