Okay, what the fuck was all that about?

"Lalalala, look at us we've got bows and arrows, we're going to approach your temple and DO NOTHING, no we're not going to treat with you, lalalala mango trees, okay we're going now, bye."

WHAT THE FUCK!? How DARE they make a fuss over nothing when I'm not properly heated up for the day!?

*Lumbers back to the temple with a very much smaller and be-ringleted Lisse.*

Hey! Look who I found!

But those bastard Feanorian brats are playing football with her old head. THEY MUST BE STOPPED.

*Sits in the woods watching the world go by*

*Chews on a small snack*

Damn, now that was a tasty hand. Shame I didn't manage to get the rest of him.

*CRUNCH*

*swallow* Ahhhhh.

ETA: *Notices something sticky on one of his feet ( Read more... )

*leaves Sauron to his redecorating and saunters off to Gothmog's so they might while away the evening with a spot of elf-coursing.*

*stops dead in his tracks at the sight before him*

BLOODY HELL-FIRE!!!

*charges into the fray*

ETA: *Thinks tap-dancing is pretty damn evil but it still doesn't beat a bit of good old-fashioned bewitchment.*

*Descends upon a sheep farm and massacres the flock*

*Sits down and leisurely chows down on the unfortunate livestock*

*looks up when the farmer comes running out to see what the commotion is*

Shut up. *flames him* It's cold, I need the extra energy.

*CHOMP*

*goes hunting*

*is blissfully unaware of this, bless him.*

*ventures out of the temple*

*goes looking for Nienor*

*Has gone quite mad*runs around the countryside, looking crazed until he comes across a group of komodo monitors feeding on a carcass ( Read more... )

*chows down on copious amounts of limstone*

*Heads for straight for the Mindon with a vicious gleam in his eyes*

*distractions yay!* :D

*roars and belches flame over random houses on his way there* >:D

*charges at the tower and crashes into it with considerable force*

ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK ACK!!! BEST SCRATCHING-POST EVER!!!

*sits in the forest sending up random, nonsense smoke signals from his nostrils*

*wonders if he'd be able to break Sauron out of jail*

Stupid Valar. >:|