(no subject)
*Has gone quite mad*
*runs around the countryside, looking crazed until he comes across a group of komodo monitors feeding on a carcass*
*he swaggers up to the largest male and nudges his snout with his own, flicking his tongue across his scales. He then stands up on his tail in classic lizard, "come and have a go if you think you're hard enough pose." The male does the only sensible thing and fucking runs*
*winks at a female* Hey baby. *licks her* Like what you smell? *exudes pheremones*
:D :D :D Wha-hey, I'm in there!!!
*mounts her*
*hears a sickening crack* :S
FUCK! THIS HAPPENS EVERY FUCKING TIME I TRY TO GET LAID! DAMMIT! WHY CAN'T I MEET A WOMAN MY SIZE!? I'M SICK OF THEIR SPINES BREAKING!!!
*eats the carcass of his dead would-be girlfriend*
I NEED TO MATE! REALLY! I HAVE TWO PENISES, THEY'RE BEING WASTED!!!!
*runs around the countryside, looking crazed until he comes across a group of komodo monitors feeding on a carcass*
*he swaggers up to the largest male and nudges his snout with his own, flicking his tongue across his scales. He then stands up on his tail in classic lizard, "come and have a go if you think you're hard enough pose." The male does the only sensible thing and fucking runs*
*winks at a female* Hey baby. *licks her* Like what you smell? *exudes pheremones*
:D :D :D Wha-hey, I'm in there!!!
*mounts her*
*hears a sickening crack* :S
FUCK! THIS HAPPENS EVERY FUCKING TIME I TRY TO GET LAID! DAMMIT! WHY CAN'T I MEET A WOMAN MY SIZE!? I'M SICK OF THEIR SPINES BREAKING!!!
*eats the carcass of his dead would-be girlfriend*
I NEED TO MATE! REALLY! I HAVE TWO PENISES, THEY'RE BEING WASTED!!!!