I'm horrible at updating this thing...but here goes.

I'm 8.5 months pregnant right now. it's crazy to think that my due date is only 2.5 weeks away.

I heard from Brian today for the first time in months. The last time I heard from him was in the begining of February. He sent me a text message saying "My parents want to meet with you me and your ( Read more... )

I'm doing better...alot better then the last time I posted anyway.

The baby is doing great. He's very active and he's got an incredibly strong heartbeat.
It's really hard to believe that I'm almost 7 months. That seems insane.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aO_pcFaKpJw
I have been listening to this song alot lately. It is a huge source of strength for ( Read more... )

it's official I have fallen apart. I just can't accept that I have to do this by myself. I hate him so much for making me go through this by myself. I hate him for making me make this huge decision by myself. I hate him for making me feel like this is all my fault. He's making me feel like it's my fault that I'm pregnant, it's my fault that he won' ( Read more... )

My friends Kirk and Kelly found out that they're having a baby yesterday. Kirk is going to stick around. I just worry about how stable their relationship is. They broke up 2 months ago for 3 weeks got back together, then broke up yesterday found out Kelly was pregnant and got back together. Judging from past history it doesn't sound like the most ( Read more... )

So here goes...I haven't written in a long time so I figured it was time.

Life is pretty normal except I'm pregnant. I finally told my parents last night so I now feel like I can go and tell everyone else. It's with my ex-boyfriend and he is not supportive at all. He wants me to put the baby up for adoption but I don't feel that that is the right ( Read more... )

Why am I such an idiot. Why do I get attached to all the wrong guys. Take Brian for instance, we dated for 6 months I got incredibly attached to him. I gave him all of me. I gave him things I will never be able to get back. I slept with him for god sake. Then he goes and breaks my heart. You would think that 3 months later I would be over him. I'm ( Read more... )

I think the title say's it all but I'm trying to get past it. I know it's going to take a while for the pain he caused me to heal...but knowing that doesn't make the healing process any easier ( Read more... )

The  past couple of nights kirk, josh and matt have been trying to cheer me up and make me forget about brian. I appreciate it so much...the other night matt looked at me  and said "kayla when your drunk your much more honest and let me tell you I'm drunk...Whitey's (brian) like a brother to me, but your my sister in christ and one of my best ( Read more... )

I keep telling myself I'm going to stop crying over him....hasn't happened yet...it's not as frequent but it still hasn't stopped completely

I keep trying to convince myself that I'm better off without him...my heart won't believe a lie

I keep telling myself (and everyone else) that if he doesn't want to finnish the conversation we started then fine ( Read more... )

I was talking to Andy last night and it turns out that the police department knew that Brian was going to break up with me before he actually did. This also means that the entire fire department knew. The week before he broke up with me he didn't act like any thing was wrong, he didn't treat me any differently, but then I find out that he was ( Read more... )