Comments | desperatefans: *smoothes out her dress, stands up, and clears her throat*

hem_hem_ in desperatefans

smoothes out her dress, stands up, and clears her throat

Apr 23, 2005 22:15

Hem hem.

Excuse me. ... Excuse me. ... HEM HEM.

*sweetly* Could I please have everybody's attention? Yes, even you. *giggles in a sickly-sweet manner* Come, come, now, I haven't all night.

Good evening everyone, my name is Dolores Jane Umbridge, though Professor ... no, High Inquisitor Umbridge is what you will call me. I am here to assure ( Read more... )

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Comments 316

i_want_a_broom April 24 2005, 03:32:40 UTC

*Scream**Shudder**Convulse*NOOOOOOOOO!
Hello, Professor.

Typist:I'm going to get you for this Yes.

hem_hem_ April 24 2005, 03:34:04 UTC

*frowns a little*

Button up that collar, young lady. You wouldn't want gentlemen to think wrongly of you, would you?

Hem hem.

Typist: *glompsyou*

i_want_a_broom April 24 2005, 03:37:13 UTC

...There's nothing showing, ma'am.

Typist:I still love you.

hem_hem_ April 24 2005, 03:53:15 UTC

Now, there isn't. I suspect you buttoned it behind my back.

And might I suggest you tidy up that hair of yours?

Hem hem.

Typist: ♥

Thread 5

peeeeeves April 24 2005, 03:33:56 UTC

UCKY UMBY!

*RASPBERRY*

hem_hem_ April 24 2005, 03:35:16 UTC

YOU! I will be reporting you to Filch this instant for causing all sorts of disturbances and mischief.

*glares toadily*

peeeeeves April 24 2005, 03:36:12 UTC

*thbbbbbbbbt*

*throws a mushy apple at Umbridge*

hem_hem_ April 24 2005, 03:54:28 UTC

*is hit by mushy apple*

*splutters with rage*

... FIIILCH! ... DUMBLEDORE!

Someone take care of this nasty excuse for a ghost.

Thread 8

sweariwontdie April 24 2005, 03:33:57 UTC

Who are you to tell me what I can do?

hem_hem_ April 24 2005, 03:36:34 UTC

*puffs up*

Why, weren't you listening, young man? I am High Inquisitor Umbridge, of course. And I am here to set this community straight.

sweariwontdie April 24 2005, 03:38:58 UTC

Who appointed you?

hem_hem_ April 24 2005, 03:55:13 UTC

Hem hem.

Why, the greater Good, of course.

I saw the this community was in need of ... moral assistance.

So I came.

Thread 7

sammiches_omg April 24 2005, 03:34:15 UTC

*frowns*

Madame, are you aware that your efforts, unenforced, will be just about useless? And I assure you, no one here CARES about the 'state of the young'. *scoffs* Besides, the young ought to be corrupted as quickly as possible, so that they may relish their youth the better. *smiles charmingly*

Anyway. *looks around for Ernest*

hem_hem_ April 24 2005, 03:38:59 UTC

Hem hem.

Excuse me, but ... I believe that you are completely wrong.

The young are not to be corrupted. They are innocent little things. And without me ... why, I shudder to think what thoughts would spawn in their heads from this ... *spits the word out* community.

sammiches_omg April 24 2005, 03:40:26 UTC

And I believe that you are an old hag who needs to remove the stick from her arse. *smiles charmingly*

This community is a stroke of genius, anyway. *sniffs*

hem_hem_ April 24 2005, 03:56:25 UTC

Why-! You-!

I have never been so insulted in my life!

And to think that I thought there were some proper gentlemen in this community.

Thread 17

sly_dolohov April 24 2005, 03:36:42 UTC

*snorts* You are amusing, madam.

If you'll excuse me, I have an orgy to organize.

hem_hem_ April 24 2005, 03:41:07 UTC

O-o-orgy? *pales*

......

I- ... YOU! DEATH EATER! I WILL TELL CORNELIUS THAT YOU ARE HERE!

sly_dolohov April 24 2005, 03:41:53 UTC

Good. Tell him he's invited and we've got two writhing nubile girls just for him.

hem_hem_ April 24 2005, 04:00:11 UTC

.....

Y-you... I- How... dare you!!

I-I do believe I will be faint. Will no one retrieve my smelling salts?

....

Anyone?

Thread 6