*smoothes out her dress, stands up, and clears her throat*

[hem_hem_]

Hem hem.

Excuse me. ... Excuse me. ... HEM HEM.

*sweetly* Could I please have everybody's attention? Yes, even you. *giggles in a sickly-sweet manner* Come, come, now, I haven't all night.

Good evening everyone, my name is Dolores Jane Umbridge, though Professor ... no, High Inquisitor Umbridge is what you will call me. I am here to assure

Comments

[sammiches_omg]

*frowns*

Madame, are you aware that your efforts, unenforced, will be just about useless? And I assure you, no one here CARES about the 'state of the young'. *scoffs* Besides, the young ought to be corrupted as quickly as possible, so that they may relish their youth the better. *smiles charmingly*

Anyway. *looks around for Ernest*

[hem_hem_]

Hem hem.

Excuse me, but ... I believe that you are completely wrong.

The young are not to be corrupted. They are innocent little things. And without me ... why, I shudder to think what thoughts would spawn in their heads from this ... *spits the word out* community.

[sammiches_omg]

And I believe that you are an old hag who needs to remove the stick from her arse. *smiles charmingly*

This community is a stroke of genius, anyway. *sniffs*

[hem_hem_]

Why-! You-!

I have never been so insulted in my life!

And to think that I thought there were some proper gentlemen in this community.

[sammiches_omg]

I assure you that I am nothing if not a gentleman! Why, my very gentlemanly instincts dictate that I discourage you, as you obviously want to stop absolutely everyone's merriment!

[imreallyernest]

*sidles in* 'Lo, Algy.

*to Umbridge* You, madame, should really think about removing that stick that seems to be so firmly up your arse. Muffin?

[sammiches_omg]

*grins* Hello, Ernest. Wonderful to see you!

*grabs and snogs soundly*

[hem_hem_]

Hem hem.

HEM HEM.

...

Rule number one?

....

HEM. HEM!

[sammiches_omg]

*broad grin*

What rule, madame?

*continues snoggage*

[imreallyernest]

*snogs back liek whoa*

*draws breath* Madame, we are nothing if not gentlemen!

[hem_hem_]

HEM. HEM.

Rule number one states that there will be no public displays of affection.

*sweetly* Gentlemen, if you would please move somewhere private ...?

[imreallyernest]

*glances at Umbridge, waves her away*

....

*keeps snogging*

[hem_hem_]

*writes their names down in the fluffy pink-coloured notebook of doom, too*

[sammiches_omg]

*is very happy to be written down in the notebook, even though it does look disgusting*

*further, enthusiastic snoggage*

Did I mention he's by brother, madame? *giggle*

[imreallyernest]

*is as well*
...
*keeps snogging*

*pulls away* ...Did you just giggle, old boy? *trying not very hard to hide a smirk*

Yes, but we're pretending it didn't happen.

[sammiches_omg]

...no. No, I didn't. *nods certainly and continues to snog as distracting method*

It's better to scare the horrid woman. *nods*