*smoothes out her dress, stands up, and clears her throat*
Hem hem.
Excuse me. ... Excuse me. ... HEM HEM.
*sweetly* Could I please have everybody's attention? Yes, even you. *giggles in a sickly-sweet manner* Come, come, now, I haven't all night.
Good evening everyone, my name is Dolores Jane Umbridge, though Professor ... no, High Inquisitor Umbridge is what you will call me. I am here to assure that everyone is acting in a moral manner, and that every character is happy, down to the youngest boy or girl. *beams a little* Therefore, you will be following these rules, implemented immediately.
1) No public displays of affection are allowed from henceforth. They are absolutely horrid things, and should most certainly be kept to the privacy of homes. Children should not be exposed to this sort of corruption at any point in their life, lest it scar their mental development. I heavily urge everyone to think of the example that you are setting for the younger ones in this community.
2) No fighting or drunken brawls should take place in this community. Only the most uneducated and idiotic of men are prone that sort of thing. Women are to be warned to stay far away from any man who is liable to act in that manner.
Hem hem.
3) Swearing should be very limited. As I stated before, the current condition of young children is deplorable. Clearly, their role models are lacking in any proper societal training. Therefore, I urge everyone to limit their swear words to "shoot", and an occasional "dang". This will further the proper development of those sweet, innocent, young minds...
4) I will immediately begin to recruit a DF Inquisitorial Squad, who will assist me in monitoring rule-breaking. Those who are assigned roles by me will watch the DF grounds for those who do not choose to follow the rules. They will report to me immediately, if they see anything amiss.
That is all for tonight, though I am sure that I will come up with more rules to implement at a later point in time. *smiles sweetly* I hope that everyone has a lovely evening, and I look forward to meeting each and every one of you.
Typist: *peers* Is it safe to come out yet? .... EDIT: OMG. Totally forgot to mention that she was from HP. *headdesk*
Excuse me. ... Excuse me. ... HEM HEM.
*sweetly* Could I please have everybody's attention? Yes, even you. *giggles in a sickly-sweet manner* Come, come, now, I haven't all night.
Good evening everyone, my name is Dolores Jane Umbridge, though Professor ... no, High Inquisitor Umbridge is what you will call me. I am here to assure that everyone is acting in a moral manner, and that every character is happy, down to the youngest boy or girl. *beams a little* Therefore, you will be following these rules, implemented immediately.
1) No public displays of affection are allowed from henceforth. They are absolutely horrid things, and should most certainly be kept to the privacy of homes. Children should not be exposed to this sort of corruption at any point in their life, lest it scar their mental development. I heavily urge everyone to think of the example that you are setting for the younger ones in this community.
2) No fighting or drunken brawls should take place in this community. Only the most uneducated and idiotic of men are prone that sort of thing. Women are to be warned to stay far away from any man who is liable to act in that manner.
Hem hem.
3) Swearing should be very limited. As I stated before, the current condition of young children is deplorable. Clearly, their role models are lacking in any proper societal training. Therefore, I urge everyone to limit their swear words to "shoot", and an occasional "dang". This will further the proper development of those sweet, innocent, young minds...
4) I will immediately begin to recruit a DF Inquisitorial Squad, who will assist me in monitoring rule-breaking. Those who are assigned roles by me will watch the DF grounds for those who do not choose to follow the rules. They will report to me immediately, if they see anything amiss.
That is all for tonight, though I am sure that I will come up with more rules to implement at a later point in time. *smiles sweetly* I hope that everyone has a lovely evening, and I look forward to meeting each and every one of you.
Typist: *peers* Is it safe to come out yet? .... EDIT: OMG. Totally forgot to mention that she was from HP. *headdesk*