1.] grab the nearest book ( Read more... )

明けましておめでとう！
ちょっと遅れたけど。

お疲れ様！今年も頑張ろう。

So you're a middle-aged businessman who has a bit of cash to throw around. You suddenly get it in your head that you're not maximising your potential and you need some spiritual guidance to achieve success in your life. Everybody keeps on going on about this "feng schway" thing. HEY! LETS GIVE IT A GO!! So you call a £500 an hour interior decorator ( Read more... )

So i'm quite hungry and i decide it is time to fix this by throwing some dead animal flesh on some fire, watching it burn for five minutes then eating it with my bare hands (knives, forks and plates are for pussies. So are vegetables for that matter). While i'm waiting i put on the TV hoping something halfway decent will be on since they don't show ( Read more... )

I hate Coldplay. I'm sick of hearing Coldplay being played every five minutes on the radio. I'm sick of hearing Coldplay being played every five minutes by my brother. I'm sick of Coldplay being played every five minutes by my housemates. I'm sick of all the whiney teenagers who "rock out" to Coldplay. And most of all i'm sick of said whiney ( Read more... )

I can't even begin to count the number of times someone has asked to to fix their computer because they managed to get a "virus" on it. Not so coincidentally they are always the type of person who seems to think that any kind of problem on their computer is virus related or some malicious chinaman attempting to hack into their personal laptop and ( Read more... )

You don't need to see it cause i can tell you exactly what's going to happen right here, right now before it's even released in the cinema and without even watching it! Cover your eyes if you are willing to hand over cash for something you really don't need to see ( Read more... )

ur - How difficult is it to press two extra keys? It's not going to break your fingers.
pwned - Some fuckwit can't type and everyone starts copying him? Absolute genius!
y - What are you trying to say? Yes? Why? You're an incoherant douche?
o rly - Even worse when emphasized with the owl picture.
ralf - Misspelling of "rofl". Internet acronyms are ( Read more... )

Everybody knows them. They're those annoying fuckwad geeks who use the internet because they know that it's populated by millions upon millions of people just as sad or god forbid, even worse than they are. They get up in the morning, wipe the crust from their eyes, sit in front of the computer and masturbate for 30 minutes while looking at some ( Read more... )

Why the fuck are they putting slang words in the English dictionary? "Chav" was literally a word that sprang out of nowhere and within a year it was picked up and actually included in the Oxford dictionary as a real word. No, It's not a real fucking word. It originates from a few London fuck sticks who thought they'd come up with a new derogatory ( Read more... )