[picspam] kahlan fight!sex - was it good for you?
This is probably not suitable for you if you're under 15.
WHICH IS WHY YOU LOVE IT!
PREEMPTIVE DISCLAIMER
THIS IS A BIT SEXY AND FULL OF INNUENDO. I AM SORRY.
I post this in good humour and with great affection
for the cast and crew of Legend of the Seeker.
It is not my intention to offend.
How This Spam Came To Be - The Condensed Edition
( Original thread, woven from 100% pure win)
THANK YOU MY EVIL MUSES ♥ ♥ ♥
An Introduction
Kahlan may well be the Mother Confessor.
Possessing of great statuesque beauty;
(including great boobs...)
(and great hair...)
and terrible powers that come with enormous responsibility
(thank you for that lesson, Marvel Comics)
However, she is also a young woman.
With OVARIES.
And a sex drive that is currently a NO THROUGH ROAD.
And since Kahlan isn't getting any, she has been subconsciously
venting her sexual frustration through FIGHT!SEX.
Kind LJ Jury, I submit my case:
What do you MEAN there's no fighting tonight? I shaved my legs and EVERYTHING!
I'M GOING TO KILL FAIN.
HOTTTT. CAN I RUB YOUR NECK? CAN I HELP YOU WITH THE KILLING?
Fight or flight has become fight or fondle.
We approve of your new instincts, sex-deprived Kahlan!
Oh Kahlan, Denna's going to kill us!
ORLYWITHHERPHALLICWEAPON?! ...That sounds, um, terrible. :|
...If she asks me to kill you, I might not be able to stop myself!
Please do go on.
I might penetrate you with my sword, Kahlan!
. . .
I LOVE IT WHEN YOU TALK DIRTY.
If I wasn't trapped on the other side of a Mord'Sith catflap
I would be a killing machine of frustration right now.
SO. FRUSTRATED.
...Oh that feels better.
I am cold, wet, hungry and horny.
I haven't had any decent violence ALL WEEK.
This is the last time I will ask:
WHO STOLE MY VIBRATOR?
*pointedly looking elsewhere*
You caught the Seeker single-handledly?
I've been working single-handedly for a long time now. (!)
ACTUAL FIGHT!SEX!!!
AKA The Tango Of LUST.
OH YES! YES SAY IT AGAIN, RICHARD!
SAY YOU'RE GONNA KICK MY ASS!
NOTE THE TONGUE ACTION:
This always happens right before Kahlan launches herself at Richard.
It's her way of saying “I'M GONNA (B)EAT YOU UP, BB!”
Is that your sword, or are you just glad to see me?
I'm going to kill Darken Rahl, and I'm going to do it with you by my side.
Ooh baby, that shit's like pillow talk to me.
And together, we'll raze his People's Palace to the ground...
And his random dragon too!
DRAGONS - RAZING - SUCH SEXYTALK MAKES ME QUIVER :o
Side note:
Hay you guys who have read the books DID YOU SEE THIS?!:
WHEN I SAY ‘DRAG’ YOU SAY ‘GON’: DRAG-GON, DRAG-GON!!!
TIME FOR TODAY'S ‘RELEASE’
Just - Yes - Just a little to the left -
OHHH!!!
AND THEN THESE TWO BROKE THE FIGHT!SEX SCALE
To be fair, they have a magical toy. Kahlan does not.
...at least, not that we know of... right?
If I hear one sentence out of your mouth that isn't “Let's go kill some D'Harans”
I'm going to run off and join the Mord'Siths; at least they have regular fight!sex!
Life-threatening danger = EXTREME SEXY TIEMS FOR KAHLAN
*is literally bending over backwards for fight!sex*
Why don't you ever instigate violence towards me, Richard? I thought you LOVED ME!
*is busy imagining sex with weapons*
...OWAIT THAT ALREADY HAPPENED
AND IT WAS HOT LIKE THE BURNING SUN
FOR KAHLAN, FOUR-ON-ONE IS BETTER THAN SEX.
OH YES IT HURTS SO GOOD!
YES! GRUNT! IMPALE!
UUUUUUH!
“WAS IT GOOD FOR YOU?”
YES, KAHLAN, YES IT WAS.
THE END
♥ ♥ ♥
So, LJ Jury, what's the verdict? :P
...1:30am AGAIN?? Time flies when you're Gay For Kahlan :P
ETA: Please do not reply with dragon spoilers here if you have read the books!!
You may use html to write under spoiler tags if you really want to though.
[example]Your comment will look like this YAY.[/example]
[spoiler]Spoilers here![/spoiler]
SWORD_OF_LIES IS NOW OPEN FOR BUSINESS!
LET THE GAY FOR KAHLAN PARTY CONTINUE!
GAY FOR KAHLAN PARTAY™ Is a registered trademark of hjea and hollywoodgrrl :D
The partaaays so far!
Bridget's Boobs! | Kahlan's Hair! | Kahlan Fight!Sex!! | Powers of Pwnage! | Kahlan Plot What Plot! | Kahlan Like A Virgin!
WHICH IS WHY YOU LOVE IT!
PREEMPTIVE DISCLAIMER
THIS IS A BIT SEXY AND FULL OF INNUENDO. I AM SORRY.
I post this in good humour and with great affection
for the cast and crew of Legend of the Seeker.
It is not my intention to offend.
How This Spam Came To Be - The Condensed Edition
( Original thread, woven from 100% pure win)
THANK YOU MY EVIL MUSES ♥ ♥ ♥
An Introduction
Kahlan may well be the Mother Confessor.
Possessing of great statuesque beauty;
(including great boobs...)
(and great hair...)
and terrible powers that come with enormous responsibility
(thank you for that lesson, Marvel Comics)
However, she is also a young woman.
With OVARIES.
And a sex drive that is currently a NO THROUGH ROAD.
And since Kahlan isn't getting any, she has been subconsciously
venting her sexual frustration through FIGHT!SEX.
Kind LJ Jury, I submit my case:
What do you MEAN there's no fighting tonight? I shaved my legs and EVERYTHING!
I'M GOING TO KILL FAIN.
HOTTTT. CAN I RUB YOUR NECK? CAN I HELP YOU WITH THE KILLING?
Fight or flight has become fight or fondle.
We approve of your new instincts, sex-deprived Kahlan!
Oh Kahlan, Denna's going to kill us!
ORLYWITHHERPHALLICWEAPON?! ...That sounds, um, terrible. :|
...If she asks me to kill you, I might not be able to stop myself!
Please do go on.
I might penetrate you with my sword, Kahlan!
. . .
I LOVE IT WHEN YOU TALK DIRTY.
If I wasn't trapped on the other side of a Mord'Sith catflap
I would be a killing machine of frustration right now.
SO. FRUSTRATED.
...Oh that feels better.
I am cold, wet, hungry and horny.
I haven't had any decent violence ALL WEEK.
This is the last time I will ask:
WHO STOLE MY VIBRATOR?
*pointedly looking elsewhere*
You caught the Seeker single-handledly?
I've been working single-handedly for a long time now. (!)
ACTUAL FIGHT!SEX!!!
AKA The Tango Of LUST.
OH YES! YES SAY IT AGAIN, RICHARD!
SAY YOU'RE GONNA KICK MY ASS!
NOTE THE TONGUE ACTION:
This always happens right before Kahlan launches herself at Richard.
It's her way of saying “I'M GONNA (B)EAT YOU UP, BB!”
Is that your sword, or are you just glad to see me?
I'm going to kill Darken Rahl, and I'm going to do it with you by my side.
Ooh baby, that shit's like pillow talk to me.
And together, we'll raze his People's Palace to the ground...
And his random dragon too!
DRAGONS - RAZING - SUCH SEXYTALK MAKES ME QUIVER :o
Side note:
Hay you guys who have read the books DID YOU SEE THIS?!:
WHEN I SAY ‘DRAG’ YOU SAY ‘GON’: DRAG-GON, DRAG-GON!!!
TIME FOR TODAY'S ‘RELEASE’
Just - Yes - Just a little to the left -
OHHH!!!
AND THEN THESE TWO BROKE THE FIGHT!SEX SCALE
To be fair, they have a magical toy. Kahlan does not.
...at least, not that we know of... right?
If I hear one sentence out of your mouth that isn't “Let's go kill some D'Harans”
I'm going to run off and join the Mord'Siths; at least they have regular fight!sex!
Life-threatening danger = EXTREME SEXY TIEMS FOR KAHLAN
*is literally bending over backwards for fight!sex*
Why don't you ever instigate violence towards me, Richard? I thought you LOVED ME!
*is busy imagining sex with weapons*
...OWAIT THAT ALREADY HAPPENED
AND IT WAS HOT LIKE THE BURNING SUN
FOR KAHLAN, FOUR-ON-ONE IS BETTER THAN SEX.
OH YES IT HURTS SO GOOD!
YES! GRUNT! IMPALE!
UUUUUUH!
“WAS IT GOOD FOR YOU?”
YES, KAHLAN, YES IT WAS.
THE END
♥ ♥ ♥
So, LJ Jury, what's the verdict? :P
...1:30am AGAIN?? Time flies when you're Gay For Kahlan :P
ETA: Please do not reply with dragon spoilers here if you have read the books!!
You may use html to write under spoiler tags if you really want to though.
[example]Your comment will look like this YAY.[/example]
[spoiler]Spoilers here![/spoiler]
SWORD_OF_LIES IS NOW OPEN FOR BUSINESS!
LET THE GAY FOR KAHLAN PARTY CONTINUE!
GAY FOR KAHLAN PARTAY™ Is a registered trademark of hjea and hollywoodgrrl :D
The partaaays so far!
Bridget's Boobs! | Kahlan's Hair! | Kahlan Fight!Sex!! | Powers of Pwnage! | Kahlan Plot What Plot! | Kahlan Like A Virgin!