i'm exactly where i hoped to be.

and i hate it.

Junior/Community Colleges are now added to the list of things i despise. not because i go to State University of New Jersey comma The. (<--that's a joke) but because they are not real life. and it dumbed me down for 2 and a half years. it makes being a transfer student harder than i would imagine it is coming from some other 4 year school ( Read more... )

"Minnesota Breeze"

It's hard to hear the lyrics but just listen close.my guilt is a monster ( Read more... )

im not just nervous about Tuesday. i'm so many different emotions about Tuesday. listen, im a pretty cool dude when i wanna be, but i'll admit that im really quite intimidated by Rutgers. as long as i can remember i've had every intention of just staying in Metuchen my entire life; i've never really been exposed to then outside world. it was only ( Read more... )

nervous about tuesday

i want to kill myself. sometimes at least. the fear of never finding it again is beginning to overpower me. it's a pendulum swinging back and forth in the back of my head. although i can grab it and it becomes suspended, once i slip off, it just begins to swing again. it's a little crazy. i know. but for some reason, i can't let go. i want to, ( Read more... )

it's 4am and i've sobered up and i must say this was the first new years that i can go ahead and say i'll remember. i actually did something, went out on my own for a portion of it and still managed to not puke or die.

my throat is KILLING me though and i hope it goes away soon cause fuck man.

but yeah man, 2010. whatever lol

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
So much. Cut my hair short, went to Florida, went to Massachusetts, went to a strip club lol, saw my first out of state concert in PA, blacked out from drinking too much, and finished Middlesex County College

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
No ( Read more... )

the bad outweighs the good so much

your perspective on suffering will only expand once you suffer yourself. whether it be in moderation or all at once, the troubles of today will most likely be overshadowed by something more terrible tomorrow.

So, be free but keep yourself in reality. Because once you escape, you will know how today is only something until tomorrow.