In That First Moment ~ Chapter 14
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 1
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 2
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 3
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 4
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 5
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 6
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 7
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 8
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 9
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 10
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 11
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 12
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 13
Bella
Bella wished she’d thought to ask just how long she was now capable of holding her breath. But, it didn’t seem to be causing her any discomfort, so she figured it would be alright. When she opened the door, she tried to smile at the guy. She didn’t think she was very convincing.
“Delivery for Miss Cullen?” he asked - as if she should know his job better than he did. Maybe he was nervous? She toned down the smile.
“That’s me.” She took the digital clipboard from his outstretched hand gently. It wouldn’t be much fun trying to explain how she’d managed to break it just by signing her name, if she wasn’t careful enough.
The guy handed her a box. “I’ve got about six more. Give me just a second to bring them up.” Bella glanced at the clipboard as he took it back from her. Seven boxes. She’d ordered four books. She looked up at Edward and knew he could read the panic in her eyes. From upstairs she heard laughter.
“Alice,” he confirmed. “Don’t worry. You’re fine. Don’t breath, just thank him when he’s done, and he’ll be on his way. It doesn’t change anything.”
While they waited, she plugged her nose, just in case. When he came back up to the porch with the first three boxes, she pretended she’d been wiping her nose. He didn’t so much as glance at her, but returned straight to his truck for the rest.
“There you are, ma’am,” he said as he deposited the last of the boxes on the doorstep. Edward had already removed the first ones, and he scooped these up also, bringing them inside.
“Thank you.”
“My pleasure. Have a nice day, now.”
Bella nodded, then closed the door as the man began to walk away. As soon as the door was closed, Edward was back, standing very close in front of her. He wrapped his fingers around her wrists and pulled her closer still, their hands on his chest between them. She couldn’t help but stare up into his eyes. She didn’t even register that the truck had pulled away.
“Breathe, Bella,” he whispered. She took a ragged breath, for all the world like she needed one, though she knew she didn’t. It was all in her head. Her throat burned like she’d swallowed molten steel, but she kept staring up into his eyes. And then she felt some relief from her earlier worries. He wasn’t going to have to stop her from chasing that human down after all. She hadn’t wanted him to see her that way. But she didn’t worry about that anymore. She didn’t truly want to move from this spot, no matter what she smelled or how badly her throat hurt. She dragged in another breath and it sounded like a sob.
The second worry was what plagued her most, now. She wouldn’t chase the human. Was he hoping she would? Would it have made him feel any better about this whole mess if he HAD needed to restrain her? She didn’t want to drive him back into his guilty self-exile.
He was staring down at her, still, waiting. She took a third breath, deep but less ragged. Then she nodded. “Some things are easier to resist than others,” she whispered. While she watched, his eyes seemed to darken suddenly, the red dimming to a deep burgundy. He stepped back, but kept his hands around her wrists. She swallowed the venom that was building up steadily in her mouth. It did nothing to ease the burning thirst.
“Alright?”
“I think so.” Bella was so glad she couldn’t blush anymore. What had made her say that? She was trying very hard to hide her growing feelings for him. The last thing she wanted was for him to avoid her or be annoyed by her the way he was with Tanya. At least if she could manage just to be friendly, he seemed content to be around her. More than content, even, the last few days. He’d been smiling more. He was smiling now.
“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” She shook her head, agreeing. It really hadn’t been hard. She’d wanted to look into his eyes more than she’d wanted the human. She still had to swallow again.
“Do you want to see what Alice ordered you?” he offered, turning his eyes to the books. He let go of her wrists, but immediately twined their fingers together, pulling her in the direction of the pile of boxes he’d brought in from the porch.
“No. I really think I should hunt,” she said quickly. There would be time to see what Alice had thought important enough to drag out the suspense for some other time. There would always be time. “I’ll hold my breath until we’re far enough West that you can’t smell him anymore, okay?” she offered quickly, not wanting him to think she had any desire to go after the human. “You need to hunt, too, your eyes are so dark.”
She noticed him swallow uncomfortably, but didn’t get time to wonder if he was struggling with too much venom also, because Jasper and Kate were both suddenly giggling hysterically from upstairs. She turned to look, but couldn’t see them. When she looked back at Edward, he looked irate.
“Or, we could look through the books,” she said quickly, swallowing again. More laughter. Emmett, now, and even Alice. She made to step toward the boxes, but he was pulling her out the door so fast she stumbled across the threshold. Fortunately, he kept a tight grip on her hand, until they reached the trees. At the sound of her tripping feet, she was sure that every person in the house was roaring with laughter.
She didn’t remember to hold her breath, but she found it didn’t matter. The burning in her throat hadn’t let up at all, so more tainted air didn’t exacerbate it as much as she’d feared. They reached the same glacial rocks they’d sat on before in hardly any time at all. “Are you alright?” she asked again, as he leaned up against them as if winded. He still hadn’t spoken. “Edward?”
“Temper,” he ground out.
“Multiple personality disorder,” she countered. Seriously? One minute he was looking at her like she was the only woman he’d ever seen, and the next he was ignoring her studiously, with murder in his eyes. He had to be the most confusing person she’d ever met.
He stared at her for just a moment and then laughed. “Touché. Shall we?” He pushed away from the rocks and held out his hand again.
They hunted. She watched him, just like always. By the time his eyes had returned to a lighter color - sort of a muddy brown mix of red and tan - he seemed in better spirits. So, she risked it.
“Why were they all laughing at me?” she asked. “Did I really do that badly?”
He was silent so long, she thought maybe he wasn’t going to answer her. She shoved the last bit of snowy dirt into the hole that covered her first-ever mountain lion and then brushed her hands on her jeans.
“Alice is going to have a fit,” Edward said, eyeing the dirty smears.
“Alice should stop giving me her designer clothes. I’ve told her already I’m happy with GAP jeans and hoodies.” Bella watched him stifle a smile at that. It didn’t really bother her, what clothes Alice stocked her closet with. She’d have rather picked out her own, but as long as she could keep a few pairs of decent jeans and normal tops, the whole rest of the closet could be ball gowns and lingerie, for all she cared. No matter how much of it there was, she wasn’t going to suddenly start wearing it.
They turned toward home again. “They were laughing at me,” Edward admitted finally, stopping just before they were in sight of the house. He looked miserable again for just a second, and she couldn’t resist reaching up to smooth away the frown lines by his mouth. Then he smirked and the previous expression vanished. She knew, though, how easy it was to alter one’s expression as a vampire. She wasn’t fooled, though there was no lie in his eyes as he continued. “I’m new at the whole ‘guiding’ thing. I should have known you’d need to hunt.”
Bella raised an eyebrow, but didn’t call him on it. Since she couldn’t be entirely sure what had made them laugh, she couldn’t KNOW that he was wrong. He was the mind-reader, after all. However, she suspected there was something he was purposely not telling her. And she knew who would. She smiled. “Race you back?” she asked.
This time she beat him. But she stopped at the bottom of the stairs anyway, more to see what would happen when he arrived, a split second later. He was grinning at her as he reached for her hand. “Don’t get used to winning,” he warned. She’d already heard he was the fastest in the family.
“Don’t count on it,” she replied. For all he knew, she MIGHT end up faster. Only time would tell.
When they went inside, Bella went straight to her books. Emmett and Rosalie were perched together on a single chair, and as Edward followed her, she heard a dull thud. She looked up from the first box, which she’d already opened, to find Emmett laughing again, with Rosalie rubbing his head soothingly where Edward had clearly smacked him. She was glaring at Edward again. Bella giggled a little herself, and went back to her new books. “Can you help me take these upstairs?” she asked Edward, hoping to keep him from any further retaliation.
He smiled at her, then picked up all six of the remaining boxes and darted up the stairs. “Show-off,” Rosalie whispered.
Bella walked up more slowly with the first box. As she stepped onto the landing, Jasper tried to pass her doorway. There was another thud, followed by a snarl as he tumbled through the air to land, catlike, on the ground floor. Edward had tossed him over the railing, and was standing where Jasper had been a moment before, laughing. She laughed, too. It was rare to see Edward look so care-free. Even Jasper, through his shock, seemed pleased.
Then Tanya stuck her head out over the railing of the third floor. “NOT in the house, please?” she groused.
“Sorry Tanya,” Edward said, still grinning unrepentantly. “We didn’t break anything.”
Bella passed him, still smiling, and entered her room to find a new bookshelf had been added. “Thanks Alice,” she commented, knowing the small, hyper vampire would hear her. Sure enough, her tinkling laugh floated down from the third floor also.
For a few days, things seemed easier after that. Bella read through her books steadily, trying to take her time and enjoy them. She hunted with Edward. The more golden his eyes became, the more forgiveness he seemed to earn from Rosalie, so she often accompanied them again. But there was an ache beginning in her chest. It took her by surprise as she sat and read classic romance novels, and sometimes when she’d see Edward smiling. She realized she wasn’t going to be able to just be friendly. Somehow, she was going to have to tell him how she felt.
There were little indications here and there that told her he felt something for her also, but it still frightened her. What if he was just being friendly? What if telling him sent him back into his room indefinitely? What if it caused him not to want to hunt with her anymore or play chess?
She read more and talked less, afraid she’d just blurt it out at some inappropriate moment. And he smiled less.
Chapter 15