In That First Moment ~ Chapter 10
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 1
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 2
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 3
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 4
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 5
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 6
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 7
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 8
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 9
Bella
“Do you play chess?”
Bella blinked at Edward in surprise. For a second, she’d been sure he was going to kiss her. She shook her head, then noticed his disappointed expression and realized he thought she was refusing to play. “I know how. I’m not very good.”
He was still holding her hand. She let him lead her into the house, where Alice and Jasper were quietly discussing the situation with the werewolves. “Shut up, Jasper,” Edward whispered as they passed them. Jasper winked at her while Edward was determinedly averting his eyes. She had some idea what Jasper must have felt from her and internally commented on, so she grimaced at him, but Edward still had a hold on her hand, so she went with him through the ballroom where she’d found everyone waiting for her the day her transformation had ended. She hadn’t looked around much that day, but today she discovered there was a door on the opposite side of the room.
It led to a library. At first, Bella thought it odd that no one had mentioned it to her before - she’d been borrowing books from Carlisle for several days. Her excellent eyesight allowed her to read the spines without approaching the shelves, and she realized the books were all in other languages. That explained it. Still, she saw a few French titles and decided she’d ask Tanya later, then promptly changed her mind. She wondered why Edward thought so poorly of Tanya. He must have a reason… which brought her back to her earlier thoughts on why he’d attacked Sam.
Edward held out a chair for her on the side of the chess board with the white pieces, and she thanked him awkwardly and sat down, wondering how to broach the subject. There were a lot of things she wanted to know. Sam, Tanya… Alice. She wasn’t sure which to ask about first.
“It will be a treat to have someone to play with whose plans I can’t see,” Edward said quietly, as he sat down as well.
“I’m pretty sure you’ll beat me anyway,” she replied. They moved through a standard opening sequence in silence, and without any real pauses for thought. “What did Sam think, that made you attack him? He was in human form - he wasn’t a danger to us right then.” Bella tried to ask it gently, but it came out as an accusation. She hadn’t intended to sound so disapproving, but it HAD been alarming.
It took him longer to answer than she expected. He kept his eyes trained on the chess pieces, and she supposed he was formulating a response. “I was just wondering what made YOU defend him,” Edward said finally, carefully.
“But I asked first.”
Edward narrowed his eyes at her, but she only waited, trying to look innocent. “Does it matter,” he asked, thinking back to what she’d said about Emmett’s transgression not mattering.
“Sometimes why something happens is more important than the thing itself.” She watched his face, but he’d looked back down and didn’t meet her eyes again.
“He’d just decided that you had to die, too. He was beginning to make plans for how to kill you.”
Bella fell silent, moved her knight and waited for him to continue. “I lost my temper. You’re right that he wasn’t a threat at that moment. I shouldn’t have responded as I did.” She watched him clear a path for his second bishop, but didn’t make a move.
She figured he was expecting her to answer his question now, but she was reluctant. It was very clear that he felt responsible for her, but she didn’t think he was as drawn to her as she was to him. She recalled Alice saying that Tanya’s interest made Edward nervous and kept him away from Denali more often than not. She didn’t want to give him the same reason to be nervous around her.
“What are you thinking?” he asked. She thought his voice sounded strained, but decided it was better not to answer.
“I thought the whole reason you wanted to play with me was so you wouldn’t know that?” she countered. She risked a glance up at him and his expression was stormy. She bit back a smile, but she was sure he noticed.
“You haven’t answered my last question.”
Bella sacrificed a bishop to take his knight. “I had more than one reason,” she said finally, after his next move. “Sam is a person. Like you or me. He knows my dad. He has thoughts and feelings and people who love him. I didn’t want to see him get hurt over me.”
She waited while Edward turned this concept over in his head. At first, it had looked like he might disagree with her on the word ‘person’. She was surprised when he let it pass. From the family council that had taken place earlier, she’d picked up on the idea that vampires do not generally consider werewolves to be people.
“And?”
“And I didn’t want to see you do something that would cause you more regret,” she whispered unwillingly. “You’ve been hurt enough by all this.” She looked up warily, wondering if he’d be upset with her as he’d been when she’d tried to tell him that biting her didn’t make him a bad person, but he’d turned his eyes away, staring at the doorway. For a second, she wondered if he was going to just get up and go back to his room. But he turned back to her very deliberately and met her eyes. She’d rarely seen anyone move so slowly, all this time.
“Which of them thinks I’m crazy this time?” she asked lightly, trying to smile.
“Only me, surprisingly enough. And Rosalie.”
“It bothers me to see you in pain,” she admitted, before she could think better of it. The chess pieces sat between them, forgotten. She kept her eyes on his face, trying to figure out what she saw there. It seemed like what she was saying made him feel worse, instead of better.
“Would you prefer if I felt no guilt for what I did to you? If I somehow thought killing you was acceptable?”
“I’m not dead.”
“But your life IS over, because of me.”
“Maybe it’s really just starting,” Bella said bravely. Yes, she missed Charlie and felt terribly that he was going through such a difficult time. But she couldn’t help feeling like she had been given an opportunity instead of having one taken from her. At least, that’s how she felt when Edward was present. Admittedly, it hadn’t seemed that way while he was hiding in his room.
“Your outlook on this is completely incomprehensible to me,” Edward said stiffly. Bella looked down, remembered the chess game, and made a move, setting the piece down harder than she intended, and wincing at the noise. At least she hadn’t broken it.
They finished the game in silence, and Bella was not surprised when she lost. He thanked her for playing in the same awkward tone, and they both stood. She almost asked him not to go when he started walking away. She was sure he was going to vanish into his room and not come out until he was thirsty again.
She reset the chess pieces, so no one else had to know how badly she’d lost, and partially to give him enough time to escape. Then she followed his path out of the library, through the deserted ballroom and back into the main room. To her surprise, he and Jasper were sitting in two of the available armchairs. Jasper’s eyes were closed, but Edward was staring at him interestedly. “That is so not fair,” she commented, intending to walk past. Jasper’s face broke into a smile, but Edward frowned.
He seemed to decide not to ask - or maybe Jasper had already told him WHAT wasn’t fair. He certainly seemed to know exactly how Bella was feeling, so he’d surely figured out what she meant. It was patently unfair that Edward could read her feelings in Jasper’s mind when she had no idea what HE felt, nor any way to find out.
“I want to order you some books,” Edward said, turning resolutely away from Jasper. She paused and, as she watched, his eyes flicked back to his brother once in annoyance, but he didn’t comment on whatever had past between them. “I think having something delivered here would be a good first step in learning to abstain from human blood.”
This was not the turn she’d expected the conversation to take. She didn’t feel comfortable with him buying her anything - it felt too much like charity. But she knew she had to start somewhere, and just one human seemed a bit less intimidating than trying to make a trip to the nearest town. “Alright,” she said quietly. He was watching her face.
“Are you worried?” He stood.
“Yes.”
“Don’t be. Alice will See when the delivery is coming. We’ll hunt before hand, so you’ll be as prepared as possible. And I’ll be right beside you, to make sure nothing happens.”
Bella pressed her lips into a hard line and resisted the urge to glance at Jasper to see if he could sense the way hope seemed to erupt in her at Edward’s words. She was sure he could.
“You’re annoyed.” Edward had apparently become good enough at reading her expressions that he didn’t have to ask anymore. Behind him, Jasper snorted and stood.
“This is ridiculously awkward. I’m going out.”
“Sorry,” she said miserably as he passed. As if it wasn’t enough that her presence here kept Edward feeling guilty, now she was making Jasper uncomfortable too.
“Come on,” Edward said after a moment, holding out his hand. “We’ll go order you something, so it arrives in the next few days.” She took his hand, grateful that he hadn’t gone back to hiding.
Chapter 11
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 2
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 3
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 4
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 5
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 6
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 7
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 8
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 9
Bella
“Do you play chess?”
Bella blinked at Edward in surprise. For a second, she’d been sure he was going to kiss her. She shook her head, then noticed his disappointed expression and realized he thought she was refusing to play. “I know how. I’m not very good.”
He was still holding her hand. She let him lead her into the house, where Alice and Jasper were quietly discussing the situation with the werewolves. “Shut up, Jasper,” Edward whispered as they passed them. Jasper winked at her while Edward was determinedly averting his eyes. She had some idea what Jasper must have felt from her and internally commented on, so she grimaced at him, but Edward still had a hold on her hand, so she went with him through the ballroom where she’d found everyone waiting for her the day her transformation had ended. She hadn’t looked around much that day, but today she discovered there was a door on the opposite side of the room.
It led to a library. At first, Bella thought it odd that no one had mentioned it to her before - she’d been borrowing books from Carlisle for several days. Her excellent eyesight allowed her to read the spines without approaching the shelves, and she realized the books were all in other languages. That explained it. Still, she saw a few French titles and decided she’d ask Tanya later, then promptly changed her mind. She wondered why Edward thought so poorly of Tanya. He must have a reason… which brought her back to her earlier thoughts on why he’d attacked Sam.
Edward held out a chair for her on the side of the chess board with the white pieces, and she thanked him awkwardly and sat down, wondering how to broach the subject. There were a lot of things she wanted to know. Sam, Tanya… Alice. She wasn’t sure which to ask about first.
“It will be a treat to have someone to play with whose plans I can’t see,” Edward said quietly, as he sat down as well.
“I’m pretty sure you’ll beat me anyway,” she replied. They moved through a standard opening sequence in silence, and without any real pauses for thought. “What did Sam think, that made you attack him? He was in human form - he wasn’t a danger to us right then.” Bella tried to ask it gently, but it came out as an accusation. She hadn’t intended to sound so disapproving, but it HAD been alarming.
It took him longer to answer than she expected. He kept his eyes trained on the chess pieces, and she supposed he was formulating a response. “I was just wondering what made YOU defend him,” Edward said finally, carefully.
“But I asked first.”
Edward narrowed his eyes at her, but she only waited, trying to look innocent. “Does it matter,” he asked, thinking back to what she’d said about Emmett’s transgression not mattering.
“Sometimes why something happens is more important than the thing itself.” She watched his face, but he’d looked back down and didn’t meet her eyes again.
“He’d just decided that you had to die, too. He was beginning to make plans for how to kill you.”
Bella fell silent, moved her knight and waited for him to continue. “I lost my temper. You’re right that he wasn’t a threat at that moment. I shouldn’t have responded as I did.” She watched him clear a path for his second bishop, but didn’t make a move.
She figured he was expecting her to answer his question now, but she was reluctant. It was very clear that he felt responsible for her, but she didn’t think he was as drawn to her as she was to him. She recalled Alice saying that Tanya’s interest made Edward nervous and kept him away from Denali more often than not. She didn’t want to give him the same reason to be nervous around her.
“What are you thinking?” he asked. She thought his voice sounded strained, but decided it was better not to answer.
“I thought the whole reason you wanted to play with me was so you wouldn’t know that?” she countered. She risked a glance up at him and his expression was stormy. She bit back a smile, but she was sure he noticed.
“You haven’t answered my last question.”
Bella sacrificed a bishop to take his knight. “I had more than one reason,” she said finally, after his next move. “Sam is a person. Like you or me. He knows my dad. He has thoughts and feelings and people who love him. I didn’t want to see him get hurt over me.”
She waited while Edward turned this concept over in his head. At first, it had looked like he might disagree with her on the word ‘person’. She was surprised when he let it pass. From the family council that had taken place earlier, she’d picked up on the idea that vampires do not generally consider werewolves to be people.
“And?”
“And I didn’t want to see you do something that would cause you more regret,” she whispered unwillingly. “You’ve been hurt enough by all this.” She looked up warily, wondering if he’d be upset with her as he’d been when she’d tried to tell him that biting her didn’t make him a bad person, but he’d turned his eyes away, staring at the doorway. For a second, she wondered if he was going to just get up and go back to his room. But he turned back to her very deliberately and met her eyes. She’d rarely seen anyone move so slowly, all this time.
“Which of them thinks I’m crazy this time?” she asked lightly, trying to smile.
“Only me, surprisingly enough. And Rosalie.”
“It bothers me to see you in pain,” she admitted, before she could think better of it. The chess pieces sat between them, forgotten. She kept her eyes on his face, trying to figure out what she saw there. It seemed like what she was saying made him feel worse, instead of better.
“Would you prefer if I felt no guilt for what I did to you? If I somehow thought killing you was acceptable?”
“I’m not dead.”
“But your life IS over, because of me.”
“Maybe it’s really just starting,” Bella said bravely. Yes, she missed Charlie and felt terribly that he was going through such a difficult time. But she couldn’t help feeling like she had been given an opportunity instead of having one taken from her. At least, that’s how she felt when Edward was present. Admittedly, it hadn’t seemed that way while he was hiding in his room.
“Your outlook on this is completely incomprehensible to me,” Edward said stiffly. Bella looked down, remembered the chess game, and made a move, setting the piece down harder than she intended, and wincing at the noise. At least she hadn’t broken it.
They finished the game in silence, and Bella was not surprised when she lost. He thanked her for playing in the same awkward tone, and they both stood. She almost asked him not to go when he started walking away. She was sure he was going to vanish into his room and not come out until he was thirsty again.
She reset the chess pieces, so no one else had to know how badly she’d lost, and partially to give him enough time to escape. Then she followed his path out of the library, through the deserted ballroom and back into the main room. To her surprise, he and Jasper were sitting in two of the available armchairs. Jasper’s eyes were closed, but Edward was staring at him interestedly. “That is so not fair,” she commented, intending to walk past. Jasper’s face broke into a smile, but Edward frowned.
He seemed to decide not to ask - or maybe Jasper had already told him WHAT wasn’t fair. He certainly seemed to know exactly how Bella was feeling, so he’d surely figured out what she meant. It was patently unfair that Edward could read her feelings in Jasper’s mind when she had no idea what HE felt, nor any way to find out.
“I want to order you some books,” Edward said, turning resolutely away from Jasper. She paused and, as she watched, his eyes flicked back to his brother once in annoyance, but he didn’t comment on whatever had past between them. “I think having something delivered here would be a good first step in learning to abstain from human blood.”
This was not the turn she’d expected the conversation to take. She didn’t feel comfortable with him buying her anything - it felt too much like charity. But she knew she had to start somewhere, and just one human seemed a bit less intimidating than trying to make a trip to the nearest town. “Alright,” she said quietly. He was watching her face.
“Are you worried?” He stood.
“Yes.”
“Don’t be. Alice will See when the delivery is coming. We’ll hunt before hand, so you’ll be as prepared as possible. And I’ll be right beside you, to make sure nothing happens.”
Bella pressed her lips into a hard line and resisted the urge to glance at Jasper to see if he could sense the way hope seemed to erupt in her at Edward’s words. She was sure he could.
“You’re annoyed.” Edward had apparently become good enough at reading her expressions that he didn’t have to ask anymore. Behind him, Jasper snorted and stood.
“This is ridiculously awkward. I’m going out.”
“Sorry,” she said miserably as he passed. As if it wasn’t enough that her presence here kept Edward feeling guilty, now she was making Jasper uncomfortable too.
“Come on,” Edward said after a moment, holding out his hand. “We’ll go order you something, so it arrives in the next few days.” She took his hand, grateful that he hadn’t gone back to hiding.
Chapter 11