In That First Moment ~ Chapter 6
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 1
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 2
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 3
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 4
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 5
Bella
Bella was starting to think she was losing her mind. Since Edward’s outburst several days before, she’d been hunting every day. Rosalie and Tanya had both gone along with her each time, though she was aware that their motivations were probably different.
Rose, she was sure, felt some sort of kinship with her. Her comment about wanting another sister had been backed up by her complete support on almost every topic. The only thing Rosalie had not seemed to be behind Bella on was her ill-fated attempt to talk with Edward. In light of his reaction, she thought maybe Rosalie had been right.
Tanya, however, was starting to get on her nerves. It wasn’t enough that she was generous, excruciatingly lovely and, according to Alice, emotionally attached to Edward. But she was also graceful, wealthy, and smart. Bella felt like a hunch-backed stepchild next to her, and she wasn’t willing to delve too deeply into the reason for that. She’d retreated into herself a bit, borrowing one book after another from Carlisle, and sitting alone on the stairs in front of the house.
“Rematch, Bella?” Emmett asked, jumping all six stairs on his way outside. Yesterday it had snowed most of the morning, and she’d elected to stay indoors, so they’d arm wrestled at Jasper’s insistence. She’d expected it to be over quickly, since his biceps were easily three times the size of hers, but she’d put all her effort into it. As a result, she’d immediately slammed his indestructible hand down onto the coffee table hard enough to split the granite. Emmett had laughed good-naturedly, but he’d been asking her for a rematch every time he saw her, ever since.
“Maybe later.” She put the book down on the step beside her as he turned to face her from the yard. Perhaps he was going hunting and she could tag along.
“What’s wrong little sis? You sound like someone stole your video game console.”
Bella couldn’t help but snort. Only Emmett would equate sadness with the loss of his Playstation. But he was clearly waiting for an answer. She looked around and lowered her voice, though Edward hadn’t come out of his room in days. “I don’t think I can stay here.”
Emmett did not take the hint. “What do you mean? Tanya’s already said we can stay until we find someplace far enough from civilization to be safe, but near enough to get you some training.” His voice was at its usual volume. Plenty loud enough for the whole house to hear.
“Emmett, I don’t belong here. It was all just an accident.” She glanced back through the open front door. “One that he shouldn’t be forced to face the results of every day. I’m sure he’ll feel better once I go, and things get back to normal.”
Emmett’s face had turned angry. She recognized the expression because Rosalie wore it every time Edward’s name was mentioned. “He’ll live,” he said coldly. “No way are you leaving just because he’s up there acting like a coward. Especially not before you’ve had some practice at resisting.”
Bella cringed and looked down at her knees. Emmett was right about that, at least. She couldn’t very well go off on her own when she was likely to kill the first human she encountered. It was a no-win situation. She couldn’t stay here tormenting Edward, but she couldn’t leave on her own and do to someone else what Edward had done to her, either.
Emmett seemed to realize she wasn’t going to answer. “I’m going to get some firewood, want to come?”
Bella picked up her book again. “That’s okay. I’ll just finish this up, so I can get it back to Carlisle.” She smiled as Emmett made a face at her choice of pastime before he jogged off through the snow. She opened the book to her page, which she recalled without effort, but she didn’t read. It was becoming less and less bearable, being in Tanya’s house. With the exception of Edward, everyone was very nice to her. Too nice. Every kind word made her feel guiltier. Here she was, living in their house, hunting on their land. They provided her clothes and books. But there was nothing she had to give any of them in return. The only thing her presence had managed to accomplish was sealing Edward permanently into his room, and she knew that was hard on everyone.
She finished the book quickly and took it back up to Carlisle and Esme’s room. She’d become accustomed to pausing outside their door with no need to knock. They’d surely heard her footsteps on the stairs. Esme invited her in, and let her exchange the book she’d finished for a new one. “That’s the twelfth one in two days,” Esme said quietly. She, at least, seemed to understand which topics might relate to Edward, and thus she was more discreet than Emmett.
But Bella figured she’d probably done enough damage with the earlier conversation, so she answered brightly. It was so easy, now, to modulate her voice as she chose, if she just gave it some thought. No hint of her worries came through in the tone. “I like to read. It’s great to remember everything so clearly.” She and Esme exchanged a smile, and then she turned to go back to her stair. She was just exiting the house, still preoccupied, when she saw him.
Edward was standing on her stair, exactly where she’d been sitting a few moments before, facing the door as she came through it. She rocked back on her heels, surprised.
“I thought I might go hunting today. Would you care to join me?” Edward asked quietly. Bella blinked at him. Really? Was he honestly asking her to go into the woods with him? She suppressed the perverse urge to laugh. It was good he was out of his room, at least. She might as well make the most of it.
She stepped back into the house and placed Carlisle’s book on the arm of the couch before rejoining him outside. He looked very frustrated, but when she reappeared the look faded back into a tense expression.
“What do you like to hunt?” she asked innocently, trying to make conversation. He was quiet for a beat longer than she expected, but she didn’t look up at him, keeping her eyes on the stairs as she descended, instead. It was silly, of course. She wasn’t clumsy anymore, and wouldn’t trip.
“Mountain lions are my favorite,” he said at last, as they walked out across what amounted to a front lawn, towards the tree-line Emmett had disappeared into earlier. Bella was glad she couldn’t blush anymore. It had been an almost daily occurrence when she’d been human. They were moving slowly - she hadn’t walked outside since she was human - and his hesitation had made her think that was perhaps not the best question she could have asked.
“I’ve only caught elk so far,” she replied, still looking at the ground. “And one bear, but only because Emmett insisted.”
Bella risked a glance in Edward’s direction and he caught her at it. A pained smile crossed his face and she felt an odd lurch somewhere in the vicinity of her silent heart. It was truly not fair at all that he could look so perfect even when he was clearly miserable. She forced a smile onto her own face as well. “He woke it. It wasn’t happy.”
They walked into the trees together, and Bella was hit by the memory, again, of the last time she’d been in the wood with him. It was more complete than before. She didn’t let her steps falter, but she kept her eyes straight ahead. She could only imagine he was thinking of the same thing. He’d stopped breathing after the last time he’d spoken.
She hunted. He watched, always with the frustrated expression on his face. There were many scents in the forest, but the one that she was hyper aware of the entire time was HIS, though of course he wasn’t edible, and the draw was entirely different. The tension bothered her, but he was quiet. Had he always been so introverted, or was it the result of her presence? And why had he come out of his room, anyway? She recalled perfectly every word that had been spoken in his hearing and nothing seemed likely to draw him out. Emmett had insulted him again, but that had been going on for days. At first, it had been only Rosalie who said such things, and Bella had asked her not to. It didn’t do any good, until Jasper added his request with a pained expression. Only then had Rosalie stopped saying it. Emmett, however, wasn’t deterred.
When she was satiated and they’d buried her last kill in silence, Edward’s hard expression finally shifted. Bella had watched his face almost continually, and was alarmed at her own obsession with cataloging the emotions she saw there. Pain, disappointment, confusion, frustration. But she hadn’t seen the absolute loathing that she recalled so plainly from their shared Biology class. She supposed that was hopeful. She tried not to look too hard into what she was hoping for.
“Do you mind if we head for higher ground, and see what we can find?” Edward asked, his voice a bit lighter than she’d ever heard it. She smiled.
“I’ll follow you. I don’t think I’ve ever scented a mountain lion,” Bella replied. She was a little surprised when he sized her up in a split second, and then disappeared into the trees - faster than she’d seen Emmett and Rose run during their last hunts.
It was second nature to chase him, so she did, dodging the branches and hurtling through the underbrush. Something snagged her borrowed shirt, and she winced. Alice wouldn’t be happy about that. She’d been doing so well, avoiding obstacles. She couldn’t help but wonder if this was the vampire equivalent to clumsiness. She’d never seen any of the others with torn clothing. But then, she’d never seen any of them move as fast as Edward was, either.
He’d stopped at a cluster of glacial rocks twice his height, and he was grinning at her as she approached. Still preoccupied with Alice’s response when she showed her the ruined shirt, Bella scowled at him and yanked the hanging piece of fabric off. In a swell of temper, she nearly threw it at him, but she’d been trying to be very mindful of her new temper, ever since her first experience with it. She didn’t want to feel that out of control again. Particularly not without Jasper nearby.
The thought reminded her that she still had questions on that topic, and she stuffed the fabric into her pocket, all the while aware of the wariness that had stolen away Edward’s smile. She wished she’d been more careful, as she missed seeing it the moment it was gone. Now he just looked sad again, with frustration in his eyes.
Bella took a deep breath, but smelled nothing she had not yet encountered, so she guessed he wasn’t hunting yet. “What is it that Jasper did, when I was so angry before?” she asked quickly. She was sure it had been him - the way he and Carlisle had exchanged a glance just before it happened - the concentration on his face.
If Edward was surprised by the topic of conversation she’d chosen, he didn’t show it. “Jasper is gifted,” he explained quietly, looking away. “He can sense and manipulate the emotions of everyone around him.” There was an odd cadence to this speech. It seemed to Bella that he’d emphasized the ‘everyone’.
She looked away quickly. If Jasper could sense her emotions all the time, what did he know? That she was feeling guilty for causing Edward’s isolation? That Tanya made her self-conscious? She climbed up onto one of the rocks and sat down while Edward stared at her. “What are you thinking?” he asked finally.
By this time, her quick, inhuman mind had moved on, so she answered honestly. “When HE asked Rose to stop insulting you, she did it. She wouldn’t listen to me at all.”
Edward laughed humorlessly and climbed up the rock to sit beside her. “Rosalie knew Jasper wouldn’t be asking for my sake. He could tell it was upsetting YOU.”
Bella remembered the way Jasper had been gazing at her when he spoke to Rosalie and thought that must be true. What she couldn’t figure out was how Edward could know what Jasper had been thinking. To her knowledge, no one had gone into his room since just after her ill-fated visit. But perhaps while she’d been hunting with Rosalie and Emmett, Jasper had gone to talk with him. Before she could ask, the wind changed, blowing from the Southwest, across the mountains. She watched Edward’s chin raise just a fraction of an inch, and so she was ready when he leapt down, and headed toward the new scent. She was right behind him.
Chapter 7
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 2
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 3
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 4
In That First Moment ~ Chapter 5
Bella
Bella was starting to think she was losing her mind. Since Edward’s outburst several days before, she’d been hunting every day. Rosalie and Tanya had both gone along with her each time, though she was aware that their motivations were probably different.
Rose, she was sure, felt some sort of kinship with her. Her comment about wanting another sister had been backed up by her complete support on almost every topic. The only thing Rosalie had not seemed to be behind Bella on was her ill-fated attempt to talk with Edward. In light of his reaction, she thought maybe Rosalie had been right.
Tanya, however, was starting to get on her nerves. It wasn’t enough that she was generous, excruciatingly lovely and, according to Alice, emotionally attached to Edward. But she was also graceful, wealthy, and smart. Bella felt like a hunch-backed stepchild next to her, and she wasn’t willing to delve too deeply into the reason for that. She’d retreated into herself a bit, borrowing one book after another from Carlisle, and sitting alone on the stairs in front of the house.
“Rematch, Bella?” Emmett asked, jumping all six stairs on his way outside. Yesterday it had snowed most of the morning, and she’d elected to stay indoors, so they’d arm wrestled at Jasper’s insistence. She’d expected it to be over quickly, since his biceps were easily three times the size of hers, but she’d put all her effort into it. As a result, she’d immediately slammed his indestructible hand down onto the coffee table hard enough to split the granite. Emmett had laughed good-naturedly, but he’d been asking her for a rematch every time he saw her, ever since.
“Maybe later.” She put the book down on the step beside her as he turned to face her from the yard. Perhaps he was going hunting and she could tag along.
“What’s wrong little sis? You sound like someone stole your video game console.”
Bella couldn’t help but snort. Only Emmett would equate sadness with the loss of his Playstation. But he was clearly waiting for an answer. She looked around and lowered her voice, though Edward hadn’t come out of his room in days. “I don’t think I can stay here.”
Emmett did not take the hint. “What do you mean? Tanya’s already said we can stay until we find someplace far enough from civilization to be safe, but near enough to get you some training.” His voice was at its usual volume. Plenty loud enough for the whole house to hear.
“Emmett, I don’t belong here. It was all just an accident.” She glanced back through the open front door. “One that he shouldn’t be forced to face the results of every day. I’m sure he’ll feel better once I go, and things get back to normal.”
Emmett’s face had turned angry. She recognized the expression because Rosalie wore it every time Edward’s name was mentioned. “He’ll live,” he said coldly. “No way are you leaving just because he’s up there acting like a coward. Especially not before you’ve had some practice at resisting.”
Bella cringed and looked down at her knees. Emmett was right about that, at least. She couldn’t very well go off on her own when she was likely to kill the first human she encountered. It was a no-win situation. She couldn’t stay here tormenting Edward, but she couldn’t leave on her own and do to someone else what Edward had done to her, either.
Emmett seemed to realize she wasn’t going to answer. “I’m going to get some firewood, want to come?”
Bella picked up her book again. “That’s okay. I’ll just finish this up, so I can get it back to Carlisle.” She smiled as Emmett made a face at her choice of pastime before he jogged off through the snow. She opened the book to her page, which she recalled without effort, but she didn’t read. It was becoming less and less bearable, being in Tanya’s house. With the exception of Edward, everyone was very nice to her. Too nice. Every kind word made her feel guiltier. Here she was, living in their house, hunting on their land. They provided her clothes and books. But there was nothing she had to give any of them in return. The only thing her presence had managed to accomplish was sealing Edward permanently into his room, and she knew that was hard on everyone.
She finished the book quickly and took it back up to Carlisle and Esme’s room. She’d become accustomed to pausing outside their door with no need to knock. They’d surely heard her footsteps on the stairs. Esme invited her in, and let her exchange the book she’d finished for a new one. “That’s the twelfth one in two days,” Esme said quietly. She, at least, seemed to understand which topics might relate to Edward, and thus she was more discreet than Emmett.
But Bella figured she’d probably done enough damage with the earlier conversation, so she answered brightly. It was so easy, now, to modulate her voice as she chose, if she just gave it some thought. No hint of her worries came through in the tone. “I like to read. It’s great to remember everything so clearly.” She and Esme exchanged a smile, and then she turned to go back to her stair. She was just exiting the house, still preoccupied, when she saw him.
Edward was standing on her stair, exactly where she’d been sitting a few moments before, facing the door as she came through it. She rocked back on her heels, surprised.
“I thought I might go hunting today. Would you care to join me?” Edward asked quietly. Bella blinked at him. Really? Was he honestly asking her to go into the woods with him? She suppressed the perverse urge to laugh. It was good he was out of his room, at least. She might as well make the most of it.
She stepped back into the house and placed Carlisle’s book on the arm of the couch before rejoining him outside. He looked very frustrated, but when she reappeared the look faded back into a tense expression.
“What do you like to hunt?” she asked innocently, trying to make conversation. He was quiet for a beat longer than she expected, but she didn’t look up at him, keeping her eyes on the stairs as she descended, instead. It was silly, of course. She wasn’t clumsy anymore, and wouldn’t trip.
“Mountain lions are my favorite,” he said at last, as they walked out across what amounted to a front lawn, towards the tree-line Emmett had disappeared into earlier. Bella was glad she couldn’t blush anymore. It had been an almost daily occurrence when she’d been human. They were moving slowly - she hadn’t walked outside since she was human - and his hesitation had made her think that was perhaps not the best question she could have asked.
“I’ve only caught elk so far,” she replied, still looking at the ground. “And one bear, but only because Emmett insisted.”
Bella risked a glance in Edward’s direction and he caught her at it. A pained smile crossed his face and she felt an odd lurch somewhere in the vicinity of her silent heart. It was truly not fair at all that he could look so perfect even when he was clearly miserable. She forced a smile onto her own face as well. “He woke it. It wasn’t happy.”
They walked into the trees together, and Bella was hit by the memory, again, of the last time she’d been in the wood with him. It was more complete than before. She didn’t let her steps falter, but she kept her eyes straight ahead. She could only imagine he was thinking of the same thing. He’d stopped breathing after the last time he’d spoken.
She hunted. He watched, always with the frustrated expression on his face. There were many scents in the forest, but the one that she was hyper aware of the entire time was HIS, though of course he wasn’t edible, and the draw was entirely different. The tension bothered her, but he was quiet. Had he always been so introverted, or was it the result of her presence? And why had he come out of his room, anyway? She recalled perfectly every word that had been spoken in his hearing and nothing seemed likely to draw him out. Emmett had insulted him again, but that had been going on for days. At first, it had been only Rosalie who said such things, and Bella had asked her not to. It didn’t do any good, until Jasper added his request with a pained expression. Only then had Rosalie stopped saying it. Emmett, however, wasn’t deterred.
When she was satiated and they’d buried her last kill in silence, Edward’s hard expression finally shifted. Bella had watched his face almost continually, and was alarmed at her own obsession with cataloging the emotions she saw there. Pain, disappointment, confusion, frustration. But she hadn’t seen the absolute loathing that she recalled so plainly from their shared Biology class. She supposed that was hopeful. She tried not to look too hard into what she was hoping for.
“Do you mind if we head for higher ground, and see what we can find?” Edward asked, his voice a bit lighter than she’d ever heard it. She smiled.
“I’ll follow you. I don’t think I’ve ever scented a mountain lion,” Bella replied. She was a little surprised when he sized her up in a split second, and then disappeared into the trees - faster than she’d seen Emmett and Rose run during their last hunts.
It was second nature to chase him, so she did, dodging the branches and hurtling through the underbrush. Something snagged her borrowed shirt, and she winced. Alice wouldn’t be happy about that. She’d been doing so well, avoiding obstacles. She couldn’t help but wonder if this was the vampire equivalent to clumsiness. She’d never seen any of the others with torn clothing. But then, she’d never seen any of them move as fast as Edward was, either.
He’d stopped at a cluster of glacial rocks twice his height, and he was grinning at her as she approached. Still preoccupied with Alice’s response when she showed her the ruined shirt, Bella scowled at him and yanked the hanging piece of fabric off. In a swell of temper, she nearly threw it at him, but she’d been trying to be very mindful of her new temper, ever since her first experience with it. She didn’t want to feel that out of control again. Particularly not without Jasper nearby.
The thought reminded her that she still had questions on that topic, and she stuffed the fabric into her pocket, all the while aware of the wariness that had stolen away Edward’s smile. She wished she’d been more careful, as she missed seeing it the moment it was gone. Now he just looked sad again, with frustration in his eyes.
Bella took a deep breath, but smelled nothing she had not yet encountered, so she guessed he wasn’t hunting yet. “What is it that Jasper did, when I was so angry before?” she asked quickly. She was sure it had been him - the way he and Carlisle had exchanged a glance just before it happened - the concentration on his face.
If Edward was surprised by the topic of conversation she’d chosen, he didn’t show it. “Jasper is gifted,” he explained quietly, looking away. “He can sense and manipulate the emotions of everyone around him.” There was an odd cadence to this speech. It seemed to Bella that he’d emphasized the ‘everyone’.
She looked away quickly. If Jasper could sense her emotions all the time, what did he know? That she was feeling guilty for causing Edward’s isolation? That Tanya made her self-conscious? She climbed up onto one of the rocks and sat down while Edward stared at her. “What are you thinking?” he asked finally.
By this time, her quick, inhuman mind had moved on, so she answered honestly. “When HE asked Rose to stop insulting you, she did it. She wouldn’t listen to me at all.”
Edward laughed humorlessly and climbed up the rock to sit beside her. “Rosalie knew Jasper wouldn’t be asking for my sake. He could tell it was upsetting YOU.”
Bella remembered the way Jasper had been gazing at her when he spoke to Rosalie and thought that must be true. What she couldn’t figure out was how Edward could know what Jasper had been thinking. To her knowledge, no one had gone into his room since just after her ill-fated visit. But perhaps while she’d been hunting with Rosalie and Emmett, Jasper had gone to talk with him. Before she could ask, the wind changed, blowing from the Southwest, across the mountains. She watched Edward’s chin raise just a fraction of an inch, and so she was ready when he leapt down, and headed toward the new scent. She was right behind him.
Chapter 7