Now I am many years on from the whole Rose thing. Her and I are good friends. Finally got a job and then lost it. More shit to work out. Where to start? We'll see tomorrow.

Why is it that I post more here during the summer than anytime during the year? Hell, it looks like this is the only time I post anymore, which is a shame. I am stuck up-north for at least the summer. I don't know what I am going to do. I am glad to be around family more, but I hate that as well. My cat can't even be himself up here. And my ( Read more... )

I want for everything to stop. I finally managed to have spent some time with Laura. She's okay, I guess. I don't know. I have plans with her on Friday. We'll see then, I suppose. I finally took the step of getting help and now I can't get it. The free clinic is apparently a volunteer place and they are all full up. I guess I have to go ( Read more... )

Perhaps I just needed sleep. I know Rose truly loves me as a friend. Perhaps that is enough. I hope.

I thought it was getting better, but today just sucked. I realized that Joel was a better match for Rose than me. She didn't even have to get drunk to lay him. It was like a requirement with me. I feel like such a loser. Laura is gone downstate and is so busy with school that she doesn't want to meet just yet. We have spent some time together ( Read more... )

Does it even matter? The door is closed. No more chances. I am "the friend" forevermore. I wish I could move on as easily as that sounds.

I think I am broken. I need some thing. I need to feel that I am worth something. I need to separate myself from Rose. I love her too much and I don't want to watch how things are going to play out. It has already started happening. The way she has started saying my name, or rather her nickname for me. She is making inside jokes with Joel ( Read more... )

I can't even tell you how much. I think I will be finding my own place in the fall. Perhaps I will just forget about everybody. Find a new life. I don't know. I am still breaking, and this is my only outlet. I can't tell anybody how I feel because they will just call me stupid. And I have no right to stand in the way of Rose's happiness. I ( Read more... )

So, I have this class that totally pwns me. It is called Teaching the Art of Writing. Sometimes teh class is so cool, but other times, it just bites, imho. I have to do this assignment called a multi-genre project. It is so not teh cool. I had to choose a topic to research and I chose blogging. For the unintiated, a blog, or web log, is a ( Read more... )

I am not sure if anybody reads still reads this think, but I am just letting you know that the next post is an academic post. Please comment in any fashion if you like, but I will be using it as part of an assignment for my teaching the art of writing class. I am researching blogging for use in teaching and well, this is a blogging site, in case ( Read more... )