Again, and again.
I want for everything to stop. I finally managed to have spent some time with Laura. She's okay, I guess. I don't know. I have plans with her on Friday. We'll see then, I suppose. I finally took the step of getting help and now I can't get it. The free clinic is apparently a volunteer place and they are all full up. I guess I have to go back to the mental health building and see about finding another place to go. I so just want to be with Rose. I need to leave, but I am not sure if I can, because of student teaching and everything. I just don't know. I can't afford life as it is now. Finding my own place just doesn't make any financial sense at all, but it may save my sanity. Rose told me that she gave me plenty of chances to change what she saw as the problems that kept us apart. She said that meant I truly don't want her if I wasn't willing to make those changes. I am glad that she makes herself feel better about leaving a broken man behind her by telling herself such things.