I just read my last post and realize its time to update, at least for the couple of you who still read this damn thing, and the offchance one of my other friends will get a wild hair up their ass to see whats going on in the world of lj and stumble upon my post. ahem ( Read more... )

On Saturday my grandmother died. Its easy to type and easy to say to ppl who were there, but I have no real desire to tell anyone. I want the world to go away. I want to just detatch from everything. Healthy coping mechanisms eh ( Read more... )

Its been quite a while since I have been here. So its been quite a while since I read anyone's journals. I had taken a bit of a vacation from the internet, to free up some time. But that time was quickly taken by helping David put together his room. Ok so we tried to but it always seemed more fun to eat mexican food and watch tv. I think we may ( Read more... )

I can not even begin to get into half of the reasons I feel blue. Did anyone see Ella Enchanted? Well she is given this gift at birth, the gift of obedience. She has to do everything anyone tells her to do. I have never related with a fairytale princess more in my whole life ( Read more... )

Do you ever wonder what it is you did to make people treat you like dirt? I mean you can be nice and thoughtful and take more crap than a septic tank and its almost like you are suddenly more deserving of torture. I guess there is a fine line between being supportive and being a doormat. Sometimes I am at a loss ( Read more... )

I miss the world being small. Like when I was 6 and I thought staying at my aunts house in modesto was a vacation. Ooh big city ( Read more... )

I am an imaginary number
1i
I don't really exist
_
what number are you?

this quiz by orsaHow funny is that? Anyway I hope everyone had a great holiday season. Mine was filled with too much beer and too many tamales ("is that possible?" the white man asks). It was funny being a grown person on christmas break. I mean I had my schooltime holiday with my ( Read more... )

Christmas spirit was snowing around me and yet I felt none. My bells did not jingle, my halls were undecked. Pushing myself into the season I went on a journey to purchase a freshly slaughtered bit of nature to sit in my house. I planned to cover its beauty with tinsel and lights. Each lot I drove upon was dark. It seemed the christmas spirit is ( Read more... )

Wow, its so funny that you can feel so alone in this world for so long and then BAM all of a sudden someone says something or looks at you a certain way... or even, for a split second, seems to see the world the way you do...and it all seems less scary. It's funny because just a small encounter like that can provide you with enough hope to see the ( Read more... )

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