FIC: "Jealousy" (Chosen, Part Five) (Harry Sinclair/Karl Urban, Sean Bean)
Title: "Jealousy" 1/1
Author: Brenda (azewewish)
Series: Chosen (Part Five)
Pairing: Harry Sinclair/Karl Urban (Sean Bean)
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Vampires still don't exist. And I doubt Harry and Karl ever taught anyone like this.
Summary: With every relationship, there are boundaries and unspoken rules.
Notes: Birthday fic for Cinzia in 2004, revised in 2009.
Oath (Part One) | Denial (Part Two) | Rebirth (Part Three) | Treasure (Part Four) | Jealousy (Part Five) | Florence (Interlude One) | Doubt (Part Six) | Taste (Part Seven) | Rush (Part Eight) | Infinite (Interlude Two) | New World (Part Nine) | Tactics (Part Ten) |
"True happiness cannot be tried
So easily"
- Depeche Mode
**England - 1348 A.D.**
Harry had little patience with politics, even less for the secrecy and subterfuge that went with the running of an empire. He understood, as all soldiers do, that sometimes it was necessary to keep information from the troops. for their own protection. Sometimes being a leader meant keeping secrets. But, it wasn't something he was comfortable doing.
Above all else, Harry was an honest man.
"You look as though the missive in your hand were a snake."
Harry glanced up into Karl's amused eyes and passed the envelope to him with a shrug. Karl's study was deserted but for the two of them at this hour of the night. "It's from Marton."
"Have you read it yet?"
"No, of course not. It's addressed to you."
"How many times do I have to tell you that we have no secrets," Karl sighed.
"A lot more than now."
Karl slid the blade of the letter opener through the envelope and took out the thin sheet of paper. "Seems I'm being summoned to offer some assistance."
Harry perched on the edge of the desk, watched Karl out of hawk-like eyes. "With what?'
"One of the Council members has given a local baron - an advisor to the King, no less - the Gift."
"Which Council member?"
"Adrian."
"I fail to see how that involves you."
Karl put the sheet down and looked at Harry. "Marton wants me to step in and act as mentor."
Harry frowned, picking up the letter opener and turning it over in battle-scarred hands. "What about Adrian? Why isn't he mentoring his fledgling?"
"Because Adrian couldn't train a dog, let alone mentor one in our ways."
Harry smiled, but the motion was stiff. "Very true. His troops are a sorry sight."
"What is it, puppy?"
Harry sighed, and set the blade down. He looked deep into concerned hazel eyes, felt that same shimmer and tug that'd been haunting him for almost two centuries. "You just got home," he said, simply.
"Ah." Karl stepped forward, trailed an elegant hand across Harry's forehead, sweeping back unkempt hair. "Is that what troubles you?"
Harry shivered when Karl's fingers slipped behind his ear, caressing the back of his neck. //I shouldn't complain. You're a busy man.//
//I will never be too busy for you.//
Harry sighed into the soft kiss, lips parting in anticipation. Need throbbed heavy in his blood as Karl touched his tongue to Harry's and coaxed it, slipping and curling, along his. He tasted copper and faint remnants of clove. The familiar taste of home, of Karl. Harry moaned - a tiny sound, barely audible - and threaded his fingers through the heavy silk of Karl's hair as he deepened the kiss. As long as Harry lived, he'd never tire of this. Just the simple pleasure of his mouth on Karl's was enough.
"I've missed that," Karl murmured, resting his forehead against Harry's.
"Then don't go."
"I need to. Marton -"
"I don't give a fuck about Marton or the Council." Harry pushed away from the desk, away from Karl, and stated to prowl, panther-like, around the room. "Your lands need you, your people need you." He whirled around, dark gaze boring into Karl's. "I need you."
Karl nodded, taking a shaky breath. "I know. And I know what it cost you to admit it."
"Then stay." Harry dropped his voice, practically purring now, as he stepped into Karl's space, brushing their chests together. He was cheating, and he knew it; he didn't care. "Finish the harvest with me. Train your men." His voice dropped again. "Share our bed."
Karl licked his lips, the motion unconsciously erotic. "Tempting offer."
Harry sighed and stepped back. "But not tempting enough."
"I love you. With everything in me." Karl brushed his palm across Harry's cheek. "But I can't step aside when duty calls. And you should understand that."
"I do," Harry whispered. "But you are my duty. The only one that matters."
"That was low."
"Did it work?"
"No."
Harry smiled briefly. "Didn't think it would."
"Come with me."
"What?"
Karl's eyes lit up, and the pull was almost too much to resist. "Come with me."
"I can't just go off and leave the demesne," Harry protested. "Unlike you, I do have responsibilities here."
Karl stepped back, taking his heat with him. "I know your responsibilities. And mine."
"I'm sorry," Harry sighed. "That was uncalled for." The last thing he wished to do was fight with Karl, especially over this. The two of them would never change.
Karl shook his head, lips curved in a small smile. "You speak what's in your heart. It's one of the things I love most about you."
Harry just wished it was enough. "Cara chi."
"And I love you." Karl held out a hand, waited for Harry to take it, palm sliding against palm. "Come."
"Where are we going?"
"Swimming," Karl replied, and tugged Harry close once more. "I've a need to see you naked and wet, to have you beneath the waterfall."
"And what makes you think it won't be me having you?"
"We'll wrestle for the privilege when we get there."
* * *
Harry sighed as he put down the latest letter from Karl. The hour just before dawn was quiet enough to give Harry some measure of privacy from the ever-increasing demands on his time. He was a man who took his responsibilities very seriously, but the wear of constantly having to attend to this matter and that was starting to stretch him thin.
His gaze lit upon the letter once again, and he traced the words, scribbled hastily in Karl's elegant handwriting. He missed Karl with an ache that would not diminish, no matter how hard he worked. The bed in their chamber was far too large without Karl in it.
But maybe - maybe Karl didn't miss him quite as much. His letter had been (like all of the others before) full of praise and stories about the young vampire, the inestimable, ever quick and willing Lord Sean Bean. Already, Harry mistrusted him. Anyone that eager to please had to be hiding something. Harry thought back to his own tutoring under Karl's hands, how patient Karl had been, how the lessons had, more often than not, ended in pleasure too intense to be real.
How was Karl rewarding Sean?
Harry slumped back in the plush chair, fingers tapping on the letter. Perhaps getting away for a couple of weeks after harvest would be nice. Karl was always telling him that the north was pretty in the fall.
* * *
"Lord Urban?"
Karl glanced up into brilliant green eyes, and pasted a smile on his face. "My apologies. My mind has wandered."
"It seems to be doing that quite a bit lately," Sean smiled. "Is aught amiss?"
"No. I just wish..." Harry was here "...I miss home."
"It must be hard to be so far away all the time."
Karl smiled again, this time a bit more genuine. "It's been easier with your excellent company."
"You've taught me much."
Karl smiled again. He liked the young Sean, liked his wit and ability. Sean would make a fine addition to the Under-Council one day.
One of Sean's pages walked up with a note and murmured an apology before bending to whisper in Sean's ear. Sean opened the seal and quickly scanned the contents, then lifted his head. "You have a visitor, m'lord."
"I do?"
"One of your men, it seems. He's awaiting you in your chambers."
It wasn't like Harry to send someone to meet with him unless it was vital. "I'll see to the matter right away," Karl said, standing. "Perhaps we can resume your instruction later this evening?"
"Of course." Sean also stood, and favored Karl with a courtly bow. "I'll bid you good eve until then."
The corridor was deserted as Karl made his way to his chambers. The staff hadn't quite acclimated themselves to a vampire household yet. But they would in time. It had taken Harry years to change his sleep patterns.
Harry.
Karl's thoughts drifted, as they often did, to his lover. Things had been strained between the two of them lately, ever since Karl had been called to mentor Sean. But Karl could see no way around the distance. He was a man with responsibilities, as was Harry. They had eternity to spend together. It was something Harry hadn't quite gotten used to yet, despite all the changes to the world around them. Of course, Harry hadn't changed a bit. He was still the same furiously stubborn man Karl'd fallen in love with all those decades ago.
Karl was so far in his thoughts that it took him a long moment to register the messenger prowling his sitting room. For a second, he could only stare in shock.
"You seem surprised, old man."
Karl didn't bother to respond; he simply stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Harry, breathed in the familiar scent of clove and horse and sweat. //Fuck, I've missed you.//
//Missed you, too.//
Lips found and met each other in gentle reverence. It had been so long since Karl had tasted Harry, so long since he'd felt those large, scarred hands running on his skin. //Need you.//
//I'm right here.//
Karl had no idea who moved first. The only thing he was aware of was Harry; Harry's skin under his tongue as each item of clothing was removed; Harry's fingers nimbly divesting him of his own clothing, each touch a brand, a reconnection; Harry's muscled body pressing him into the mattress as he finally filled Karl, started to move in slow, languorous thrusts, murmuring his love in Gaelic.
"Am I dreaming?" Karl asked afterward, lounging in the safety of Harry's arms, limbs tangled together among sweat-damp sheets.
Harry sank his fangs lightly into Karl's shoulder, smiled when Karl yelped. "Doesn't appear that you are."
"Bastard," Karl grumbled. "You cheated."
"I never claimed to play fair."
"I cannot believe you're here," Karl murmured, pressing a kiss to Harry's shoulder.
Harry eyes were dark, direct as they searched Karl's. "I missed you."
"And the demesne?"
"It's in capable hands."
"I love you." And lying here, with Harry's warmth seeping into his skin, breath on his neck, Karl found it impossible to believe that he'd ever let this go. That he'd ever thought anything could be more important than what he and Harry were building. "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"I...I'm not sure."
Harry smiled, kissed the bite marks on Karl's shoulder. "It's alright. Tell me what's kept you from me the past year."
"Have you not been reading my letters?" Karl teased.
Harry hauled Karl on top of him, buried his hands in silky hair. "I'd rather hear it from your lips," Harry said, and Karl thought - just for a second - that he heard an old echo of desperation in Harry's voice.
"Marton wants Sean trained in all our ways, all our history," Karl said, making himself comfortable. Harry was better than a pillow. "There's been talk that one day he may serve as Council aide, although it's too early to tell. He's quick, wicked smart, eager..."
"Sounds like a paragon," Harry smiled. But it didn't look quite real.
"You'll like him." Karl smiled himself, practically purring in contentment when Harry started to massage his scalp. "You could teach him much."
"I hardly think your young protégé could learn anything from me that you're not already teaching him."
"I think you'd be surprised at what a wonderful teacher you are."
"Are we going to spend our hours together arguing my abilities versus yours?"
Karl's breath caught at the look in amber eyes. "No," he murmured, lips hovering over Harry's.
"Good," Harry replied, just before he flipped Karl over and covered his body, driving away all thought and question.
* * *
Sean's demesne was set on a cliff overlooking the sea, waves crashing along the craggy rocks below in a kind of furious dance. Harry walked along the parapets, watching the play of moonlight on the water, feeling the same sort of restlessness that had driven him here, even while he'd had so many responsibilities and duties to attend at home. For a few short hours, while in Karl's arms, he'd felt whole, at peace. But tonight, left alone to wander the grounds while Karl and Sean continued their lessons, the clawing fear returned.
For several months, Harry had felt as though he'd been floundering, lost. Simply going through the motions of life - his dark, eternal life - without direction or merit. These thoughts had no place in his existence; he was a warrior, a soldier, trained to fight, to make a difference. He was loved by Karl, worshipped by his men, his life was rich, busy. And yet, these whispered tauntings would not give him peace.
Decades of honed instinct had Harry turning around, meeting his host's very startled gaze. Harry registered the tangle of blond hair, the leanly muscled body adorned in rich clothing before his gaze was snared by eyes the color of emeralds glinting in the sun. In all his life, Harry'd never seen eyes so green, so passionately radiant.
"My apologies for disturbing you."
Harry took in the slightly bowed head, long fingers wrapped loosely around the hilt of an ornate sword, and his eyes narrowed in speculation. "Did you enjoy your lesson this eve, my Lord?"
"Yes, thank you."
Harry caught the scent of fresh blood mixed with wine as he took a step away from the edge of the parapet. "I trust you're getting used to feeding?"
"Somewhat," Sean replied, visibly relaxing, a smile crinkling the corners of those remarkable eyes as he held out his hand in welcome. "Karl has told me so much about you. His descriptions do not do you justice."
Karl, was it? Harry shook the proffered hand, testing the grip, and was pleased when Sean returned it full-strength. "Has he?"
"Oh, yes. Your tactics in battle are practically legend." Sean stepped forward, still smiling. "I'd be honored if you'd favor me with a tale or two while you are here on your business."
"Business?" Harry raised an eyebrow, watching Sean in amusement. He thought of Karl's muffled cries of pleasure, of the taste of sweat-slick skin, and had to bite back another grin. //What have you been telling this child about me, old man?// "I'm not certain I know what you mean," Harry said, leaning against a tower wall.
Sean pivoted, his cloak flapping in the chill night breeze, ruffling baby-fine hair. "Are you not here to consult with Lord Urban on your matters of state?"
"Not precisely, my Lord."
"Please, call me Sean. I'd like for us to become friends. Karl's made it clear that you're important to him, and I've no wish to interfere with that."
"How generous of you," Harry muttered under his breath, feeling the familiar, unwanted sensation of fear clawing at him yet again. "And why would you interfere?" he asked, staring long and hard into Sean's wide eyes.
"I..." Sean licked his lips. "I don't know."
Harry took a deep breath, and the band around his chest tightened. "You smell like clove."
"It's, um, Karl..." Sean's voice faltered.
"You fed from Karl?" Harry asked, his voice a dangerous purr.
Sean swallowed, adam's apple bobbing as he nodded.
"I see."
Harry couldn't summon the energy to move, to even mentally seek out Karl, demand some answers. Karl had allowed this fledgling to feed from him. A strange soft of numbness crept over Harry, from his toes and working up his limbs to settle in his chest. Karl had allowed another to drink from him. With an entire household full of mortals and servants, Karl had allowed Sean's fangs to slide into Karl's skin, to taste copper and clove, to sink into the vortex of Karl's blood kiss.
"Are you alright, my Lord?"
Harry glanced into Sean's eyes again, and before he was even aware of moving, his mouth was on Sean's, tongue parting surprised lips and stealing inside, seeking Karl's taste on Sean's lips.
Sean stood stock still for only a moment before fisting his hands in Harry's shirt and jerking him forward, tongue curling around Harry's. His lips were surprisingly pliant, but there was nothing soft in the kiss - only a hot, raw hunger that surprised Harry even as he tilted Sean's head back, fucked his mouth with voracious, quick sweeps, took back what was his by blood and by oath. Sean kissed him like he was the center of Sean's universe, like Sean had been waiting his entire life for this moment, this kiss. It was heady, intoxicating, filled Harry's head with dark visions of ripping off Sean's clothing and laying him on the stone floor and taking everything that was being offered and more.
Sean moaned, a low, keening sound, then jerked back, taking huge gulps of air. "What was that?"
"I don't know," Harry lied, awareness prickling the hairs on the back of his neck. He glanced over his shoulder, met Karl's eyes.
"Am I interrupting?" Karl asked, mildly.
"No, not at all," Harry replied, matching Karl's tone. He causally ran his tongue over his lips, felt the hollow satisfaction when Karl's eyes narrowed. "Tastes a bit like apples, wouldn't you say?"
"I wouldn't know. I haven't tasted him."
"No?" Harry quirked an eyebrow up, balancing his weight on the balls of his feet. "Too busy allowing him to taste you, I imagine."
"Is that what this display was all about?"
"Perhaps this is a conversation the two of you should have in private," Sean said, edging his way around the other two vampires.
"No." Karl didn't move, but his voice stilled Sean's furtive movements. "Stay. I have nothing to hide, no reason to be ashamed."
"Neither do I," Harry said, folding his arms. "Why did you allow him to feed from you?"
Sean's gaze darted between the both of them, but he stayed silent. And didn't move.
"Because every one of us must feed from another of our race at least once, to share our strength and knowledge. You know that as well as I."
Harry raked a hand through his hair, trying to ignore the pressing weight on his chest. "But why you? Why not his Creator? Why not Marton?"
"Because I am the one mentoring him," Karl replied, each word clipped. "I don't presume to question how you train your men. Don't question how I train mine."
Harry watched, with an almost helpless despair, as Karl made a half-bow to Sean, then swept from the parapet and back inside.
"Somehow, I do not think this was how you intended things to go," Sean remarked.
Harry didn't move. "Very perceptive of you."
Sean stepped forward once again, emerald eyes searching Harry's in the moonlight. "Not simply his Captain, are you?"
Harry stood at attention, arms rigid at his sides. "Again, very perceptive."
"He must love you very much."
Harry laughed, a short, humorless sound. "Sometimes I wonder what he ever saw in me."
"Perhaps he sees the same things in you that your men see in you...that I've seen in you."
"And what is that?"
Sean took the next step forward, brushing a few strands of hair from Harry's forehead with a gentle touch. "Decency. Honor. Passion for life. Strength. Vulnerability to your loved ones," Sean stated, quietly. "It's a lethal combination."
Harry found himself nuzzling against the hand sliding along his jaw, running over his beard, before stepping back. Just one step - but it was enough.
Sean dropped his hand, gave Harry a rueful smile. "I had to try."
"I know," Harry said, smiling into those pure, emerald eyes. "I'm sorry. I need to find Karl."
"Check the aviary." Sean took the next step back. "He sometimes goes there to think."
"Alright." Harry's lips curved upwards as he held out a hand and waited for strong fingers to clasp his wrist. "Thank you."
"You're welcome."
* * *
Harry saw Karl the second he stepped past the hushed threshold of the aviary. The falcons were deep in slumber, wings rustling as they shifted in their perches. Harry could see why Karl sought refuge here. The not-quite silence was oddly comforting.
"Have you come to lecture me again?" Karl asked, without turning around.
"No," Harry said, aching to step forward and wrap his arms around a tense back. "I came to apologize."
"Have you?"
"Please, Karl. Turn around."
Karl obeyed the soft plea with a sigh, and met Harry's gaze. "Are you so unhappy with me?"
"No, never." Harry wasn't used to the anguish reflecting in Karl's eyes. He felt useless, and hated it. And the lowering sting of guilt shamed him. "I chose this, chose you for eternity. I meant it."
"Why did you come here?"
"Because I was..." Harry sighed, but didn't look away. "I was jealous."
"Jealous?" Karl's brow wrinkled. "Why in Heaven's name would you be jealous?"
Harry took a step forward, pulled as if by invisible strings. "Because you've been gone so much. And you speak so glowingly of Sean. And I thought, perhaps..."
"That, what? I had changed my mind, changed what was in my soul?" Karl smiled, an indulgent curve of lips. "Only you, Harry."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means just that." Karl took the next step, and his hand brushed Harry's in a gentle caress. "Why are you so insecure when you know that I will always belong to you?"
Harry curled his fingers around Karl's. "And if you should desire another?"
"There will always be others." Karl smiled, brought his free hand to Harry's cheek. "Others who would tempt us, who will connect with us in some way, be it merely friendship or perhaps something a little more. But what we have is something beyond reckoning. Something that no one else has, that no one else will ever have. It's ours alone."
"I'm sorry," Harry choked out, humbled beyond measure by the look in Karl's eyes.
"Don't be." Karl's lips were soft when they brushed across Harry's. "I love you more for this."
Harry laughed, a low, watery sound. "Because I act the fool?"
"No," Karl replied, squeezing Harry's hand. "Because I matter so much to you."
"You will always matter," Harry stated, voice thick.
This time, there was no hesitation in their kiss.
Onto Florence
Author: Brenda (azewewish)
Series: Chosen (Part Five)
Pairing: Harry Sinclair/Karl Urban (Sean Bean)
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Vampires still don't exist. And I doubt Harry and Karl ever taught anyone like this.
Summary: With every relationship, there are boundaries and unspoken rules.
Notes: Birthday fic for Cinzia in 2004, revised in 2009.
Oath (Part One) | Denial (Part Two) | Rebirth (Part Three) | Treasure (Part Four) | Jealousy (Part Five) | Florence (Interlude One) | Doubt (Part Six) | Taste (Part Seven) | Rush (Part Eight) | Infinite (Interlude Two) | New World (Part Nine) | Tactics (Part Ten) |
"True happiness cannot be tried
So easily"
- Depeche Mode
**England - 1348 A.D.**
Harry had little patience with politics, even less for the secrecy and subterfuge that went with the running of an empire. He understood, as all soldiers do, that sometimes it was necessary to keep information from the troops. for their own protection. Sometimes being a leader meant keeping secrets. But, it wasn't something he was comfortable doing.
Above all else, Harry was an honest man.
"You look as though the missive in your hand were a snake."
Harry glanced up into Karl's amused eyes and passed the envelope to him with a shrug. Karl's study was deserted but for the two of them at this hour of the night. "It's from Marton."
"Have you read it yet?"
"No, of course not. It's addressed to you."
"How many times do I have to tell you that we have no secrets," Karl sighed.
"A lot more than now."
Karl slid the blade of the letter opener through the envelope and took out the thin sheet of paper. "Seems I'm being summoned to offer some assistance."
Harry perched on the edge of the desk, watched Karl out of hawk-like eyes. "With what?'
"One of the Council members has given a local baron - an advisor to the King, no less - the Gift."
"Which Council member?"
"Adrian."
"I fail to see how that involves you."
Karl put the sheet down and looked at Harry. "Marton wants me to step in and act as mentor."
Harry frowned, picking up the letter opener and turning it over in battle-scarred hands. "What about Adrian? Why isn't he mentoring his fledgling?"
"Because Adrian couldn't train a dog, let alone mentor one in our ways."
Harry smiled, but the motion was stiff. "Very true. His troops are a sorry sight."
"What is it, puppy?"
Harry sighed, and set the blade down. He looked deep into concerned hazel eyes, felt that same shimmer and tug that'd been haunting him for almost two centuries. "You just got home," he said, simply.
"Ah." Karl stepped forward, trailed an elegant hand across Harry's forehead, sweeping back unkempt hair. "Is that what troubles you?"
Harry shivered when Karl's fingers slipped behind his ear, caressing the back of his neck. //I shouldn't complain. You're a busy man.//
//I will never be too busy for you.//
Harry sighed into the soft kiss, lips parting in anticipation. Need throbbed heavy in his blood as Karl touched his tongue to Harry's and coaxed it, slipping and curling, along his. He tasted copper and faint remnants of clove. The familiar taste of home, of Karl. Harry moaned - a tiny sound, barely audible - and threaded his fingers through the heavy silk of Karl's hair as he deepened the kiss. As long as Harry lived, he'd never tire of this. Just the simple pleasure of his mouth on Karl's was enough.
"I've missed that," Karl murmured, resting his forehead against Harry's.
"Then don't go."
"I need to. Marton -"
"I don't give a fuck about Marton or the Council." Harry pushed away from the desk, away from Karl, and stated to prowl, panther-like, around the room. "Your lands need you, your people need you." He whirled around, dark gaze boring into Karl's. "I need you."
Karl nodded, taking a shaky breath. "I know. And I know what it cost you to admit it."
"Then stay." Harry dropped his voice, practically purring now, as he stepped into Karl's space, brushing their chests together. He was cheating, and he knew it; he didn't care. "Finish the harvest with me. Train your men." His voice dropped again. "Share our bed."
Karl licked his lips, the motion unconsciously erotic. "Tempting offer."
Harry sighed and stepped back. "But not tempting enough."
"I love you. With everything in me." Karl brushed his palm across Harry's cheek. "But I can't step aside when duty calls. And you should understand that."
"I do," Harry whispered. "But you are my duty. The only one that matters."
"That was low."
"Did it work?"
"No."
Harry smiled briefly. "Didn't think it would."
"Come with me."
"What?"
Karl's eyes lit up, and the pull was almost too much to resist. "Come with me."
"I can't just go off and leave the demesne," Harry protested. "Unlike you, I do have responsibilities here."
Karl stepped back, taking his heat with him. "I know your responsibilities. And mine."
"I'm sorry," Harry sighed. "That was uncalled for." The last thing he wished to do was fight with Karl, especially over this. The two of them would never change.
Karl shook his head, lips curved in a small smile. "You speak what's in your heart. It's one of the things I love most about you."
Harry just wished it was enough. "Cara chi."
"And I love you." Karl held out a hand, waited for Harry to take it, palm sliding against palm. "Come."
"Where are we going?"
"Swimming," Karl replied, and tugged Harry close once more. "I've a need to see you naked and wet, to have you beneath the waterfall."
"And what makes you think it won't be me having you?"
"We'll wrestle for the privilege when we get there."
* * *
Harry sighed as he put down the latest letter from Karl. The hour just before dawn was quiet enough to give Harry some measure of privacy from the ever-increasing demands on his time. He was a man who took his responsibilities very seriously, but the wear of constantly having to attend to this matter and that was starting to stretch him thin.
His gaze lit upon the letter once again, and he traced the words, scribbled hastily in Karl's elegant handwriting. He missed Karl with an ache that would not diminish, no matter how hard he worked. The bed in their chamber was far too large without Karl in it.
But maybe - maybe Karl didn't miss him quite as much. His letter had been (like all of the others before) full of praise and stories about the young vampire, the inestimable, ever quick and willing Lord Sean Bean. Already, Harry mistrusted him. Anyone that eager to please had to be hiding something. Harry thought back to his own tutoring under Karl's hands, how patient Karl had been, how the lessons had, more often than not, ended in pleasure too intense to be real.
How was Karl rewarding Sean?
Harry slumped back in the plush chair, fingers tapping on the letter. Perhaps getting away for a couple of weeks after harvest would be nice. Karl was always telling him that the north was pretty in the fall.
* * *
"Lord Urban?"
Karl glanced up into brilliant green eyes, and pasted a smile on his face. "My apologies. My mind has wandered."
"It seems to be doing that quite a bit lately," Sean smiled. "Is aught amiss?"
"No. I just wish..." Harry was here "...I miss home."
"It must be hard to be so far away all the time."
Karl smiled again, this time a bit more genuine. "It's been easier with your excellent company."
"You've taught me much."
Karl smiled again. He liked the young Sean, liked his wit and ability. Sean would make a fine addition to the Under-Council one day.
One of Sean's pages walked up with a note and murmured an apology before bending to whisper in Sean's ear. Sean opened the seal and quickly scanned the contents, then lifted his head. "You have a visitor, m'lord."
"I do?"
"One of your men, it seems. He's awaiting you in your chambers."
It wasn't like Harry to send someone to meet with him unless it was vital. "I'll see to the matter right away," Karl said, standing. "Perhaps we can resume your instruction later this evening?"
"Of course." Sean also stood, and favored Karl with a courtly bow. "I'll bid you good eve until then."
The corridor was deserted as Karl made his way to his chambers. The staff hadn't quite acclimated themselves to a vampire household yet. But they would in time. It had taken Harry years to change his sleep patterns.
Harry.
Karl's thoughts drifted, as they often did, to his lover. Things had been strained between the two of them lately, ever since Karl had been called to mentor Sean. But Karl could see no way around the distance. He was a man with responsibilities, as was Harry. They had eternity to spend together. It was something Harry hadn't quite gotten used to yet, despite all the changes to the world around them. Of course, Harry hadn't changed a bit. He was still the same furiously stubborn man Karl'd fallen in love with all those decades ago.
Karl was so far in his thoughts that it took him a long moment to register the messenger prowling his sitting room. For a second, he could only stare in shock.
"You seem surprised, old man."
Karl didn't bother to respond; he simply stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Harry, breathed in the familiar scent of clove and horse and sweat. //Fuck, I've missed you.//
//Missed you, too.//
Lips found and met each other in gentle reverence. It had been so long since Karl had tasted Harry, so long since he'd felt those large, scarred hands running on his skin. //Need you.//
//I'm right here.//
Karl had no idea who moved first. The only thing he was aware of was Harry; Harry's skin under his tongue as each item of clothing was removed; Harry's fingers nimbly divesting him of his own clothing, each touch a brand, a reconnection; Harry's muscled body pressing him into the mattress as he finally filled Karl, started to move in slow, languorous thrusts, murmuring his love in Gaelic.
"Am I dreaming?" Karl asked afterward, lounging in the safety of Harry's arms, limbs tangled together among sweat-damp sheets.
Harry sank his fangs lightly into Karl's shoulder, smiled when Karl yelped. "Doesn't appear that you are."
"Bastard," Karl grumbled. "You cheated."
"I never claimed to play fair."
"I cannot believe you're here," Karl murmured, pressing a kiss to Harry's shoulder.
Harry eyes were dark, direct as they searched Karl's. "I missed you."
"And the demesne?"
"It's in capable hands."
"I love you." And lying here, with Harry's warmth seeping into his skin, breath on his neck, Karl found it impossible to believe that he'd ever let this go. That he'd ever thought anything could be more important than what he and Harry were building. "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"I...I'm not sure."
Harry smiled, kissed the bite marks on Karl's shoulder. "It's alright. Tell me what's kept you from me the past year."
"Have you not been reading my letters?" Karl teased.
Harry hauled Karl on top of him, buried his hands in silky hair. "I'd rather hear it from your lips," Harry said, and Karl thought - just for a second - that he heard an old echo of desperation in Harry's voice.
"Marton wants Sean trained in all our ways, all our history," Karl said, making himself comfortable. Harry was better than a pillow. "There's been talk that one day he may serve as Council aide, although it's too early to tell. He's quick, wicked smart, eager..."
"Sounds like a paragon," Harry smiled. But it didn't look quite real.
"You'll like him." Karl smiled himself, practically purring in contentment when Harry started to massage his scalp. "You could teach him much."
"I hardly think your young protégé could learn anything from me that you're not already teaching him."
"I think you'd be surprised at what a wonderful teacher you are."
"Are we going to spend our hours together arguing my abilities versus yours?"
Karl's breath caught at the look in amber eyes. "No," he murmured, lips hovering over Harry's.
"Good," Harry replied, just before he flipped Karl over and covered his body, driving away all thought and question.
* * *
Sean's demesne was set on a cliff overlooking the sea, waves crashing along the craggy rocks below in a kind of furious dance. Harry walked along the parapets, watching the play of moonlight on the water, feeling the same sort of restlessness that had driven him here, even while he'd had so many responsibilities and duties to attend at home. For a few short hours, while in Karl's arms, he'd felt whole, at peace. But tonight, left alone to wander the grounds while Karl and Sean continued their lessons, the clawing fear returned.
For several months, Harry had felt as though he'd been floundering, lost. Simply going through the motions of life - his dark, eternal life - without direction or merit. These thoughts had no place in his existence; he was a warrior, a soldier, trained to fight, to make a difference. He was loved by Karl, worshipped by his men, his life was rich, busy. And yet, these whispered tauntings would not give him peace.
Decades of honed instinct had Harry turning around, meeting his host's very startled gaze. Harry registered the tangle of blond hair, the leanly muscled body adorned in rich clothing before his gaze was snared by eyes the color of emeralds glinting in the sun. In all his life, Harry'd never seen eyes so green, so passionately radiant.
"My apologies for disturbing you."
Harry took in the slightly bowed head, long fingers wrapped loosely around the hilt of an ornate sword, and his eyes narrowed in speculation. "Did you enjoy your lesson this eve, my Lord?"
"Yes, thank you."
Harry caught the scent of fresh blood mixed with wine as he took a step away from the edge of the parapet. "I trust you're getting used to feeding?"
"Somewhat," Sean replied, visibly relaxing, a smile crinkling the corners of those remarkable eyes as he held out his hand in welcome. "Karl has told me so much about you. His descriptions do not do you justice."
Karl, was it? Harry shook the proffered hand, testing the grip, and was pleased when Sean returned it full-strength. "Has he?"
"Oh, yes. Your tactics in battle are practically legend." Sean stepped forward, still smiling. "I'd be honored if you'd favor me with a tale or two while you are here on your business."
"Business?" Harry raised an eyebrow, watching Sean in amusement. He thought of Karl's muffled cries of pleasure, of the taste of sweat-slick skin, and had to bite back another grin. //What have you been telling this child about me, old man?// "I'm not certain I know what you mean," Harry said, leaning against a tower wall.
Sean pivoted, his cloak flapping in the chill night breeze, ruffling baby-fine hair. "Are you not here to consult with Lord Urban on your matters of state?"
"Not precisely, my Lord."
"Please, call me Sean. I'd like for us to become friends. Karl's made it clear that you're important to him, and I've no wish to interfere with that."
"How generous of you," Harry muttered under his breath, feeling the familiar, unwanted sensation of fear clawing at him yet again. "And why would you interfere?" he asked, staring long and hard into Sean's wide eyes.
"I..." Sean licked his lips. "I don't know."
Harry took a deep breath, and the band around his chest tightened. "You smell like clove."
"It's, um, Karl..." Sean's voice faltered.
"You fed from Karl?" Harry asked, his voice a dangerous purr.
Sean swallowed, adam's apple bobbing as he nodded.
"I see."
Harry couldn't summon the energy to move, to even mentally seek out Karl, demand some answers. Karl had allowed this fledgling to feed from him. A strange soft of numbness crept over Harry, from his toes and working up his limbs to settle in his chest. Karl had allowed another to drink from him. With an entire household full of mortals and servants, Karl had allowed Sean's fangs to slide into Karl's skin, to taste copper and clove, to sink into the vortex of Karl's blood kiss.
"Are you alright, my Lord?"
Harry glanced into Sean's eyes again, and before he was even aware of moving, his mouth was on Sean's, tongue parting surprised lips and stealing inside, seeking Karl's taste on Sean's lips.
Sean stood stock still for only a moment before fisting his hands in Harry's shirt and jerking him forward, tongue curling around Harry's. His lips were surprisingly pliant, but there was nothing soft in the kiss - only a hot, raw hunger that surprised Harry even as he tilted Sean's head back, fucked his mouth with voracious, quick sweeps, took back what was his by blood and by oath. Sean kissed him like he was the center of Sean's universe, like Sean had been waiting his entire life for this moment, this kiss. It was heady, intoxicating, filled Harry's head with dark visions of ripping off Sean's clothing and laying him on the stone floor and taking everything that was being offered and more.
Sean moaned, a low, keening sound, then jerked back, taking huge gulps of air. "What was that?"
"I don't know," Harry lied, awareness prickling the hairs on the back of his neck. He glanced over his shoulder, met Karl's eyes.
"Am I interrupting?" Karl asked, mildly.
"No, not at all," Harry replied, matching Karl's tone. He causally ran his tongue over his lips, felt the hollow satisfaction when Karl's eyes narrowed. "Tastes a bit like apples, wouldn't you say?"
"I wouldn't know. I haven't tasted him."
"No?" Harry quirked an eyebrow up, balancing his weight on the balls of his feet. "Too busy allowing him to taste you, I imagine."
"Is that what this display was all about?"
"Perhaps this is a conversation the two of you should have in private," Sean said, edging his way around the other two vampires.
"No." Karl didn't move, but his voice stilled Sean's furtive movements. "Stay. I have nothing to hide, no reason to be ashamed."
"Neither do I," Harry said, folding his arms. "Why did you allow him to feed from you?"
Sean's gaze darted between the both of them, but he stayed silent. And didn't move.
"Because every one of us must feed from another of our race at least once, to share our strength and knowledge. You know that as well as I."
Harry raked a hand through his hair, trying to ignore the pressing weight on his chest. "But why you? Why not his Creator? Why not Marton?"
"Because I am the one mentoring him," Karl replied, each word clipped. "I don't presume to question how you train your men. Don't question how I train mine."
Harry watched, with an almost helpless despair, as Karl made a half-bow to Sean, then swept from the parapet and back inside.
"Somehow, I do not think this was how you intended things to go," Sean remarked.
Harry didn't move. "Very perceptive of you."
Sean stepped forward once again, emerald eyes searching Harry's in the moonlight. "Not simply his Captain, are you?"
Harry stood at attention, arms rigid at his sides. "Again, very perceptive."
"He must love you very much."
Harry laughed, a short, humorless sound. "Sometimes I wonder what he ever saw in me."
"Perhaps he sees the same things in you that your men see in you...that I've seen in you."
"And what is that?"
Sean took the next step forward, brushing a few strands of hair from Harry's forehead with a gentle touch. "Decency. Honor. Passion for life. Strength. Vulnerability to your loved ones," Sean stated, quietly. "It's a lethal combination."
Harry found himself nuzzling against the hand sliding along his jaw, running over his beard, before stepping back. Just one step - but it was enough.
Sean dropped his hand, gave Harry a rueful smile. "I had to try."
"I know," Harry said, smiling into those pure, emerald eyes. "I'm sorry. I need to find Karl."
"Check the aviary." Sean took the next step back. "He sometimes goes there to think."
"Alright." Harry's lips curved upwards as he held out a hand and waited for strong fingers to clasp his wrist. "Thank you."
"You're welcome."
* * *
Harry saw Karl the second he stepped past the hushed threshold of the aviary. The falcons were deep in slumber, wings rustling as they shifted in their perches. Harry could see why Karl sought refuge here. The not-quite silence was oddly comforting.
"Have you come to lecture me again?" Karl asked, without turning around.
"No," Harry said, aching to step forward and wrap his arms around a tense back. "I came to apologize."
"Have you?"
"Please, Karl. Turn around."
Karl obeyed the soft plea with a sigh, and met Harry's gaze. "Are you so unhappy with me?"
"No, never." Harry wasn't used to the anguish reflecting in Karl's eyes. He felt useless, and hated it. And the lowering sting of guilt shamed him. "I chose this, chose you for eternity. I meant it."
"Why did you come here?"
"Because I was..." Harry sighed, but didn't look away. "I was jealous."
"Jealous?" Karl's brow wrinkled. "Why in Heaven's name would you be jealous?"
Harry took a step forward, pulled as if by invisible strings. "Because you've been gone so much. And you speak so glowingly of Sean. And I thought, perhaps..."
"That, what? I had changed my mind, changed what was in my soul?" Karl smiled, an indulgent curve of lips. "Only you, Harry."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means just that." Karl took the next step, and his hand brushed Harry's in a gentle caress. "Why are you so insecure when you know that I will always belong to you?"
Harry curled his fingers around Karl's. "And if you should desire another?"
"There will always be others." Karl smiled, brought his free hand to Harry's cheek. "Others who would tempt us, who will connect with us in some way, be it merely friendship or perhaps something a little more. But what we have is something beyond reckoning. Something that no one else has, that no one else will ever have. It's ours alone."
"I'm sorry," Harry choked out, humbled beyond measure by the look in Karl's eyes.
"Don't be." Karl's lips were soft when they brushed across Harry's. "I love you more for this."
Harry laughed, a low, watery sound. "Because I act the fool?"
"No," Karl replied, squeezing Harry's hand. "Because I matter so much to you."
"You will always matter," Harry stated, voice thick.
This time, there was no hesitation in their kiss.
Onto Florence