The Man sez: Well, it's actually "fmylife.com" but it's clearly in the spirit of the former. And, to be honest, it's not really so much "my life" as just me. Fuck me for being the neurotic loser I am. This is not a pity post because I just need to get my shit together now and not later like I keep expecting. I am really good at making an excuse ( Read more... )

The Man sez: Brunch with Sarah and Will this afternoon was nice. I always feel this immense pressure to keep conversation going no matter what the situation or who I'm with, but Sarah has said that she's fine with silence. At first, I didn't believe her but now I'm more comfortable with just letting things do what they do. We ate at Mandu, which ( Read more... )

The Man sez: So I weighed myself this morning and was really, really surprised to realize that I've lost about twenty pounds. Pleased, yes, but mostly shock - Did I let myself go or what?! I'm happy that it's losing as opposed to gaining but good god damn. Srs. I'm embarrassed, really. If one can truly attach "blame", a lot of the weight came ( Read more... )

The Man sez: That quote is my brother's review of "He's Just Not That Into You". Yep, he recommends this film based on the color palette. But that's my bro, y'all. He moved to NC this past Sunday and Mims was just crying and crying and crying as if the boy was leaving for the front line. Jeez Christers, Mimsy. I will miss him, of course, but ( Read more... )

The Man sez: Saw Hall & Oates with the parents last night. It was weird. Kinda low-energy, which I blame on sitting in the pavilion rather than out in the dirty with the rest of the people my age (including two dudes in curly black John Oates wigs and matching moustaches). Unfortunately, the my-agers were total 'bags who would not stop yelling ( Read more... )

The Man sez: Infamously slow driver that I am, I somehow got pulled over this morning on my commute to work. And I had just been thinking about how I had been so lucky in not getting a ticket at the speeding camera I pass. I mean, that is how the brain works, building little logic connectors. Anyway, so I got pulled over because I didn't slow ( Read more... )

The Man sez: One of the featured communities this week on the LJ homepage is about beekeeping, which reminded me of last summer at the state fair (before I nearly fucking died) when we were sampling different varieties of local honey from this beekeeping family and I of course asked the dude if he'd ever used his bee colony to grow a 'bee beard'. ( Read more... )

The Man sez: Yeah, these 'wads again. I'm still angry and want to make as many internets about their poorly performing company as it takes to soothe my rage. I'm also really jacked on the megalithic iced coffee Pops bought for me this morning. My heart is beating hella fast, that's all I have to say.

But brass tacks - General Growth Properties ( Read more... )

The Man sez: Do not fuck with this mega bitch. Just don't. It won't go well - no one will leave unscathed. See, I had gotten a big head about my abilities to mal-occhio my way to whatever I wanted from customer service reps after I fixed said evil stare onto the kid at BJ's, declared "I'm giving you this look for a reason," and scored the ( Read more... )

The man sez: Gross. Birthdays. Fucking disgusting. And not really because of the oh-no-I'm-getting-soooooo-oooold shit. Birthdays just remind me of how little I've accomplished and how quickly I'm hurtling toward death. Macabre - that's me! On the way home from work, I noticed that the cheery, chubby woodchuck that lives near the exit ramp to ( Read more... )