Wow, I haven't even gotten past the first twenty four hours of 2006 and I'm already wishing I was dead. This sucks ( Read more... )

I've temporarily cut ties with Josh. I haven't talked to him on the phone in days. The last time I talked to him he "declared" his "love" for me. Yes, like he's in love with me. Oh God ( Read more... )

Before I write anything else, let me tell you the dream I just had about Caleb ( Read more... )

Okay, well I had a nice little rant session with Josh again last night. I also found out something; He said he loves me. Like, seriously loves me. He said he always has and probably always will ( Read more... )

Merry Christmas everyone! I got alot of stuff that i wanted! Seriously, a computer, tv, clothes, makeup, an MP3 player, I got the works. My grandparents gave me thirty dollars, too, so I want to go jean shopping tomorrow. I can get three pairs at Ross's for that much! Yay ( Read more... )

I changed my theme agina, guys, as well as my mood-icon things. I like it so far but I'm pretty sure that in a few weeks I'll grow tired of it and change it once again ( Read more... )

Well I told Mary Ann about my eating disorder. I don't know why. Maybe it was just a whim. I'm really not sure. She seems okay right now. I'm going to be seeing her tonight when I go to church. It feels a little better now that I've gotten to talk to a girl about the breakup. Somehow its just not the same with a guy. I mean, I don't mind talking to ( Read more... )

-I day dream about having a husband and children, but think it will never happen. Or rather: it shouldn't happen. I don't deserve love or happiness or even health ( Read more... )

Well, our power went out last Thursday morning (Bec, if you read this, I meant Thursday instead of Wednesday in my text). It just came back on this morning around 11:45. We had a fire blazing the whole time and candles burned at night. The first day or so was okay, but by yesterday I was sick of it! I was so glad to finally have a shower this ( Read more... )

Its over. All the guilt and the reason for keeping myself in check - all of the times when I said I couldn't go on, but had a reason... its over. I guess I can do whatever I want now - drink, smoke, eating disorder - without feeling like I'm letting someone down. I can get cancer or starve to death and I won't have to die guilty because I have no ( Read more... )