I am a conundrum. An enigma wrapped in a riddle of confusion. I have no answers and the questions make no sense. I feel like this world that I have built is a lie, and brick by brick, it is crumbling around me. I give good face. I smile because I feel like if I do it long enough, I will have no choice but to be happy. I laugh because if I laugh ( Read more... )

There is something to be said about watching other people go after and achieve their dreams. American Idol, Biggest Loser, all these reality shows where people are given an opportunity to go after what they desire, makes me wonder what dreams I gave up. It also makes me wonder if I ever really knew what my dreams were. Were they clouded by doing ( Read more... )

What do you do when it all falls apart ( Read more... )

We hear without listening ( Read more... )

I spent a great deal of this cold, wintery day at home with my children watching old family movies. I watched my wedding to my first husband (at my childrens request), and my high school graduation and my sisters high school graduation and my Grandmothers surprise 70th birthday party. Aside from fond memories, and the realization of how time ( Read more... )

Tomorrow is the day I have dreaded most, and yet anticipated greatly. January 27th. The day my life could either change for the better or become the nightmare I have feared most. Either way, “a change is gonna come”. It is the day that I anxiously sit before a random stranger, clad in a long white coat, with degrees hanging on her wall and only ( Read more... )

They say time heals all wounds. But what if that wound leaves a permanent scar? The pain may subside but the reminder is always there. Some things you just never get over, and your heart is never the same. You move on, you grow up, you live each day trying to forget. Then one day, you hear a song on the radio, or a joke that reminds you, or ( Read more... )

From dusk to dawn ( Read more... )

'Tis a blessed Life I live. Full of insanity and love. A house filled with people who are the sun, the moon, and all that the universe revolves around. These people - big and small - who love me no matter what. This place that opened new doors, created new possibilities, and brought me new hope. These days, where I wake up and fall in love ( Read more... )

I cannot believe I am getting married in ONE MONTH!!! I never, EVER thought I would get married again. I thought I would do it once, and if it failed I would never do it again. When I look back, there was a piece of paper that said I was married, but it was never really a marriage. Or if it was, it was only for a short while. This time I am ( Read more... )