traces, part eight (a).

Oct 22, 2010 10:17

Title: Traces
Part: 8 of 10
Characters: David Beckham, Martín Cáceres, Fabio Cannavaro, Iker Casillas, Royston Drenthe, Julien Faubert, Fernando Gago, Raúl González, Pep Guardiola, Thierry Henry, Guti Hernández, Xavi Hernández, Gonzalo Higuaín, Andrés Iniesta, Bojan Krkić, Lionel Messi, Ruud van Nistelrooy, Gerard Piqué, Carles Puyol, Sergio Ramos ( Read more... )

andrés iniesta, ruud van nistelrooy, traces, iker casillas, michel salgado, lionel messi, raúl, david beckham, carles puyol, guti, miguel torres, royston drenthe, fernando gago, gerard piqué, xavi hernández, gonzalo higuaín, fabio cannavaro, bojan krkić, rubén de la red, fic, martín cáceres, thierry henry, sergio ramos, julien faubert, pep guardiola

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Comments 11

Comment part a tonstant_weader October 23 2010, 05:48:19 UTC
Yes. Yes. Yes.

The entropy of the last chapter is paying off here now. The orchestration feels like it's gone, plans and control seem to be dissolving as people prove more unpredictable than ever and people are doing things ( ... )

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Re: Comment part a casi_casi October 25 2010, 09:20:27 UTC
Ah, your comment made me smile so widely and idiotically. It was so exciting and quite daunting to write about stuff actually happening, about people 'doing things', so it's a tremendous relief and pleasure to see that you're happy to see the back of the orchestration. :)

I'm also really glad that you liked the (non-)resolution of the Raúl-Guti drama because I think it would have been easy for me to shirk it and leave things hanging in the air, but as you said, it was time for some progress to be made, especially considering what's unfolding in the rest of the story.

Thank you for leaving a comment to this part as well as the second. As always, your intellectual literary critiques are a delight.

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Re: Comment part a tonstant_weader October 26 2010, 06:44:50 UTC
You absolutely could not have left Raúl and Guti where it left off either one or more chapters ago. I think it absolutely had to happen although it probably wasn't easy for you. In the sense that it wasn't exactly easy for them either, the hesitance may have helped the feel of the argument overall. And if they hadn't worked something out we wouldn't have had the brilliant interactions for the rest of the chapter(s). Obviously as the detective is usually proxy for the reader, if not the "assistant" or "chronicler" I felt a little abandoned when there was Raúl/Guti issues. (OK, maybe not really, but I'm much happier at this point.)

An the setup was so great, but the action happening fast and furiously here is working well. It must seem daunting, but it's great!

And ahaha, not really either intellectual or literary (although I'm sure I could write an entire entry on this epic once done, perhaps I will), I'm just a reader greatly enjoying a story! Can't wait to see what happens next - even with action, still suspense!

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Re: Comment part a casi_casi October 28 2010, 12:37:14 UTC
I think it absolutely had to happen although it probably wasn't easy for you. In the sense that it wasn't exactly easy for them either, the hesitance may have helped the feel of the argument overall.
I think you're right. My feelings mirrored Raúl's to a certain extent, in that I started off going 'Fuck, I have to resolve this' and then going 'You know what? Let's live in denial' and then going 'Aw, shit, I really should resolve this, shouldn't I?' ;)

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txorakeriak October 25 2010, 20:03:59 UTC
Argh, how is it possible I managed not to read this until now? *fails ( ... )

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casi_casi October 28 2010, 12:10:16 UTC
You never fail!

Hee, I loved reading this comment. Thanks so much for taking the time to write it. I know it's trying to sit down and list the individual things that you enjoyed about a fic, but I'm so grateful that you did. As always, you're so giving with your feedback. I love seeing what parts of the fic resonate with you, which parts you find entertaining, because they're never what I expect! I guess I put in little touches to keep myself interested and - for those who want to read this story a second time - make it a little more multi-layered, and it's great to see which of those details stand out to you (like the word "bangin'"!).

I want Raúl and Guti to resolve their issues and have hot sex as well! I think I'll need to write some Raúl/Guti fic after I'm done with Traces, because there are so many images in my head of those two that just need to be written down, lol.

When Beckham left the Union, he left a free spot which was filled by Bojan. Guti was unaware that Bojan had joined the Union (until this chapter, after the ( ... )

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elisa88 November 6 2010, 20:37:35 UTC
Wow. Wow. So much information.. I know i'm probably being lame with always saying the same, but this is so amazing.
The way you describe the characters and situations is awesome, it is so well written. I really enjoy reading this story!

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casi_casi November 9 2010, 01:39:47 UTC
Oh my gosh, you're not being 'lame' at all. I can't even express how grateful I am that you've read this and left comments to each chapter even though I've been horrendously bad at replying! I really, really appreciate all the feedback, and I'd reply to every comment individually if it weren't for the fact that I don't want to crowd your inbox with repetitions of 'thank you, thank you'. ;) I'm very thankful for and flattered by your compliments, and again, I'm so glad you're enjoying this fic. The ninth chapter is up now, and I hope you like it.

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elisa88 November 9 2010, 02:33:46 UTC
well i'm glad i'm not being lame.. and how could I not comment every chapter? after all the effort you put into every one the least I can do is comment.. even if it's to say the same over and over again XD

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