where is shatterstar when we need him i mean really people

[generalbadass]

Is it on now? Goddamn thing doesn't--[static, fumbling sounds of metal on wood]--here we go.

[And now video is on. LOOK AT THIS GUY, C&C, IN HIS OBVIOUSLY CEREMONIAL MILITARY UNIFORM. He is sitting at a nice, clean desk, glowering at the camera like someone who is glowering pretty hard. Those of you who watch the news or like, don't live under a

Comments

[spadassin]

I approve.

[generalbadass]

Approval won't get civilians out of dodge, but thank you, ma'am.

[spadassin]

Please, do not call me ma'am. It makes me feel older than I already am.

But I will be helping with the evacuation as well.

[generalbadass]

[ignores the first part because he's an unintentionally paternalistic dick] Excellent. Either report to the Fort--or you've been there for the last day and a half, in which case, well. Godspeed.

[Voice]

[generalbadass]

Tell me what your capabilities are and I'll tell you if we can use them.

[Voice]

[generalbadass]

That may be useless in the line of fire, but the refugees are going to need medical assistance.

video;

[prodigitalson]

[This guy's a little emotional for a general, don't you think? Keith does not approve. He does approve of the overall message, though. More or less.]

I have no useful powers to offer. However, I have a great deal of military training and experience. I have no doubt that counts for something.

voice;

[generalbadass]

[sob he needs to earn his last name by spitting at the camera forever]

Absolutely. It doesn't matter whether someone can shit rainbows, pardon my French, if they can't handle a war zone.

voice;

[prodigitalson]

In that case. I'll join you.

voice;

[generalbadass]

Excellent. Do you need further instructions?

[socialistinsect]

[POINTING]

Clearly a product of the military industrial complex. In any other situation, I'd have to be your enemy!

[but he deflates]

...In this one, there are innocent lives at stake! I'll leave your capitalist warmongering ways aside for now and offer up my services as a teleporter in getting those civilians out of the HIVE.

[and he pans the device to show...he's already on the outskirts of Los Angeles]

I'm already here. Just tell me where I'm needed most. I'll decide if you're right about that, though.

[generalbadass]

... Yes, you do that.

The people of [HERE IS THE NAME OF A PRETTY BIGASS AND NOTABLY GRODY NEIGHBORHOOD WHICH THE MILITARY HASN'T BEEN ABLE TO PENETRATE YET] urgently need a [hesitance; the word is still unaccustomed and kind of weird!] teleporter. Make sure not to appear in the streets--but I'm sure I don't need to tell you that, Comrade.

[socialistinsect]

Oh, I know about these people's prejudice against imPorts. This is a narrow-minded era. But I'll go there, all the same, because once again people are depending on Gates!

[Something glittery starts to expand around him, and then the device shuts off.]

[generalbadass]

[FUCKIN' TELEPORTATION HOW DOES IT WORK]

voice;

[liverletdie]

I'm sure you already realize that the Avengers will be there, General.

[private]

[bluffing_ruffle]

If there is anything you need me to do, I still intend to keep my word.

Encrypted

[liverletdie]

Of course. Would you like to tag along with the Avengers?

piggyback Encrypted

[bluffing_ruffle]

That's fine. Thank you.