Comments | cantchangeme: it could take my whole damn life to make this right

logan_echolls in cantchangeme

it could take my whole damn life to make this right

Jul 13, 2006 22:24

I can't say waking up in a hospital, with an IV feeding you wonder drugs that are some weak attempt to sedate you from wondering what the hell has happened or why your entire body just aches, is the best way in the world to come to some sort of consciousness. Personally, waking up next to Veronica would have been first choice, but this is the sort ( Read more... )

Comments 22

renewedsoul_v July 14 2006, 06:08:11 UTC

"Hey." I smiled briefly as I closed the door behind me and crossed over to his bed and gave him a soft kiss, "How are you feeling? Up for some company?" I questioned. I figured he was probably sedated to the point that he wasn't really feeling any pain, but I wasn't quite sure.

To say I'd been scared out of my mind with worry was kind of like calling Niagra just a waterfall. But I knew that was the last thing Logan needed to be hearing right now. I knew him well enough to know that he was already convinced that this was somehow his fault ( ... )

logan_echolls July 14 2006, 06:31:06 UTC

"I did ask for you to come," I said to her though I really had to ponder how to answer her question on how I was truly feeling. I mean, I had asked for her company, yes. I wanted to be around her, yes. But I didn't want it all about me. I gave a sort of nod towards her, disappointed that she had moved away so quickly that I couldn't have caught her for a kiss back. "I'm okay. Battle wounds, I guess," I said, teasing briefly. It really was some sort of battle wound and maybe for pointing a gun and Liam Fitzpatrick I actually get one shot at me, but it was over with.

She's going through like five conversations in two minutes and I'm still feeling the slightest bit dizzy from the medication so it's hard to follow in the process. It almost didn't occur to me with not paying the rent on the dock location for the yacht it's probably been seized along with all my possessions. I almost wanted to ask What home? We had a home here and maybe I deluded myself in the thought that we wouldn't go back to Neptune and that we could just be happy here ( ... )

renewedsoul_v July 14 2006, 06:56:40 UTC

"Okay, true. Stupid question, I guess. Sorry." I apologised. He wouldn't have had the doctor come tell me that he'd asked to see me if he wasn't even sort've up for company.

Of course I was so stressed out that I was half amazed that I wasn't literally vibrating right now, so I'm not sure logic's figuring into my thought process right now ( ... )

logan_echolls July 14 2006, 07:13:20 UTC

"Hey," I tugged her closer to me for a light kiss, my fingers intertwining with hers. "Can you relax for like two seconds for me, Veronica? You're just completely all over the place and I'm drugged and I can't follow it all - probably not even if I wasn't hopped up on Morphine or whatever they have in this IV. I'm right here - hole in me, yes - but still here. So, chill just for a second ( ... )

Thread 14

renewedsoul_v July 14 2006, 19:18:14 UTC

"Do you even understand how scared I was that I was going to lose you?" I questioned, the tears starting to fall again. Clearly trying not to let him see how much this had gotten to me wasn't going to do us any good. "Of course I'm freaking out, on edge, whatever... the one thing I know I wouldn't be able to deal with almost happened. I was covered in your blood. I couldn't think, I felt completely frozen and I had to remind myself to breathe. I spent hours terrified and crying and clinging to my dad. Three guesses the last time I refused to let go of him like that, and the first two don't count." Lilly, of course. This was somehow worse. Probably because of all the waiting to see how the flip of the coin was going to turn out. Heads he lives, tails he dies and my entire world falls apart with him ( ... )

logan_echolls July 15 2006, 12:32:14 UTC

"Oh, you would have survived, Veronica. It would have felt like you were dying too, but you would have survived. And I know that because I survived Lilly. I survived Lilly and you're stronger than I am. And I'm sorry that you were so scared to lose me. I'm sorry. The intentions were to keep us both safe, but the plan didn't actually follow through with those intentions ( ... )

renewedsoul_v July 15 2006, 18:51:15 UTC

"Would you stop telling me how I should be feeling right now? How I should be dealing?" I asked a little sharply as he pulled his fingers free of mine. "Whether or not I survived Lilly is probably questionable. Sure, I'm still here, but I'm so far from being the girl I was when she was alive that sometimes I don't even recognise me. This girl that I am now? Is not the one she knew. You might be right, I might be stronger than you - because I've had to be. I've got two options, give up and let everything consume and control me, or keep pushing through. Decide what's really worth having and fight for it ( ... )

logan_echolls July 16 2006, 06:55:55 UTC

"Right, like you're not standing there telling me how I do feel?" I snapped towards her. "You don't know everything, Veronica. And you really can't control everything, especially not me!"

"And your need to do something is driving me absolutely up the wall right now!" I added with a heavy sigh of exhaustion. She was trying to deal. I got that. She was trying to do what ever she needed to, but it just conflicted. It was all just exasperating me ( ... )

Thread 8