it could take my whole damn life to make this right
I can't say waking up in a hospital, with an IV feeding you wonder drugs that are some weak attempt to sedate you from wondering what the hell has happened or why your entire body just aches, is the best way in the world to come to some sort of consciousness. Personally, waking up next to Veronica would have been first choice, but this is the sort of thing that happens when you get shot. Yeah, a second later that memory actually came to mind. I nearly panicked until I remembered that Veronica was safe now. That her dad was here and she was safe.
The doctor who was dealing with my case has explained to me in great detail what had happened when I came in, even mentioning that my heart had stopped from the stress on my body. But I'm still here and that was all that really even mattered in the end. I was stable now and I could expect pain for the next few months and occasionally during my life, but I was lucky that the bullet didn't puncture any major organs.
"Can I see my girlfriend?" I asked the doctor, not looking up to him but inspecting the cheap cotton hospital sheets and the antiseptic smelling room. It all seemed too much of something.
And part of me is not even close to being surprised. The truth is that all this shit probably should have happened a year ago. It was a long time coming. I just manage to keep surviving. And yay on the surviving bit, but it's for Veronica. I just can't help but thinking that it's too much danger for her. All I can hear her saying is that someone is going to get killed - and this time it was almost me.
I understood that anger. Hell, I had been so damn angry when Lilly had died on me. Because even after all of this I couldn't blame her for what happened. I wanted to and I couldn't. And I didn't want Veronica to feel that way about me. Like she should be angry at me for leaving.
The doctor leaves the room. I'm sure he knows by this moment that I wasn't actually listening to everything he was saying. It was in one ear and out the other and I didn't care. All I wanted to do was rip out the IV from under my skin because it was itching and I just wanted it not to be there. Just like I really just didn't want to be here.
Even still, I get these flashes of Veronica sobbing hysterically, the look on her face in the apartment and Keith Mars telling me to focus and stay awake. Lifting up the hospital gown to inspect the wound, I saw it was covered in a clean white bandage and tape. I contemplated pulling that off too, but I shoved the gown back down, deciding against it.
I looked up as I saw a flash of Veronica in the corner of my eye. She stood in the doorway, lingering there briefly before coming in.
This I knew would leave a life long wound that could be seen, unlike so many others.
The doctor who was dealing with my case has explained to me in great detail what had happened when I came in, even mentioning that my heart had stopped from the stress on my body. But I'm still here and that was all that really even mattered in the end. I was stable now and I could expect pain for the next few months and occasionally during my life, but I was lucky that the bullet didn't puncture any major organs.
"Can I see my girlfriend?" I asked the doctor, not looking up to him but inspecting the cheap cotton hospital sheets and the antiseptic smelling room. It all seemed too much of something.
And part of me is not even close to being surprised. The truth is that all this shit probably should have happened a year ago. It was a long time coming. I just manage to keep surviving. And yay on the surviving bit, but it's for Veronica. I just can't help but thinking that it's too much danger for her. All I can hear her saying is that someone is going to get killed - and this time it was almost me.
I understood that anger. Hell, I had been so damn angry when Lilly had died on me. Because even after all of this I couldn't blame her for what happened. I wanted to and I couldn't. And I didn't want Veronica to feel that way about me. Like she should be angry at me for leaving.
The doctor leaves the room. I'm sure he knows by this moment that I wasn't actually listening to everything he was saying. It was in one ear and out the other and I didn't care. All I wanted to do was rip out the IV from under my skin because it was itching and I just wanted it not to be there. Just like I really just didn't want to be here.
Even still, I get these flashes of Veronica sobbing hysterically, the look on her face in the apartment and Keith Mars telling me to focus and stay awake. Lifting up the hospital gown to inspect the wound, I saw it was covered in a clean white bandage and tape. I contemplated pulling that off too, but I shoved the gown back down, deciding against it.
I looked up as I saw a flash of Veronica in the corner of my eye. She stood in the doorway, lingering there briefly before coming in.
This I knew would leave a life long wound that could be seen, unlike so many others.